The drive to my mom's house is long and laborious. I have very little desire to fulfil this duty but I know I must and maybe the distraction and home cooking will provide me with something I have felt I have been missing for most of my life.
My parents changed when my sister vanished. I suspect guilt had a lot to do with it. It tore us apart. Even my own relationship with my mom and dad. I love them. But knowing all I know now, I'm not sure I respect them.
Turning into the driveway, I note no other cars are here yet.
"Hi, mom," I call, letting myself into the house I've never lived in. My childhood homes long gone. The only connection is the summer house my father had kept.
"Fox," She stands in the doorway, covered in flour. "You actually came on time." She's smiling and looking relaxed. Baking was something she never did when I was growing up but she's found a new love for it. "Come on through. I want you to meet someone."
I hang up my jacket and head through to the kitchen where two women are helping prepare potatoes and other vegetables. The older woman, I think I've met before. She is tall, heavy set with grey curls and a steady gaze from electric blue eyes. The younger woman is tall, thin with long brown hair and hazel eyes. She's homely looking but nothing remarkable.
"Fox, this is Melanie and Matilda. I think you met Melanie last year at the benefit. Matilda is her niece. She is a lawyer."
"Nice to meet you," I greet them and something tells me my mother is up to something. Matilda looks in her late twenties and I note there is no wedding ring.
"Would you mind getting some wood from outside?" My mom looks pointedly at me and I nod and head out. The air is cold and my phone buzzes in my pocket. A text from Scully.
"You left your phone charger here. I'll drop it at your apartment on my way over to my mom's if you want?" I smile, wishing we were still cuddled up under her quilt in the clean and tidy bedroom.
"Thanks. Have a great time with the family."
"You to," She texts back. And then another message comes through. "When are you planning on coming home?" The word..home fills me with a joy I've never felt before. Home is with her.
"Tomorrow. Mom's going to her friend's cabin this weekend. You?"
A moment passes as I wait for the reply and she doesn't fail. But instead of a text my phone screen lights up with her name calling.
"Hey," I smile into the phone and lean against the door of the wood shed.
"You got plans this weekend?" her voice is low and hopeful but with that small tinge of uncertainty.
"Unless you're about to give me some?" she laughs at the double entendre and I grin playfully.
"Bill and Tara have been staying at the cabin we were at last month. But they're visiting Bill's navy friends in Virginia this weekend. I've asked Tara if we can use the cabin until Sunday morning, if you're up for it?"
"I'll drive back tomorrow morning."
"Yeah?" She sounds happy and I close the shed door and sit on a pile of wood.
"You know how hard it was to leave you this morning? This is crazy. I feel like a love sick kid."
"Me to," She laughs and I hear her zipping a suitcase. "Do you want to pick me up from my mom's tomorrow?" She laughs knowing the strained relationship I have with her brother.
"I can do that," I know if I'm going to be with this incredible woman I will have to learn to coexist in her life with her brother who hates me. And not without reason really.
"I was kidding. But if you're sure?"
"I'll be there about ten?"
"I'll see you tomorrow." And suddenly thanksgiving seemed like it could be alright after all.
"Hi," Matilda was standing just outside the door as I emerged carrying logs. "Your mom asked me to check on you."
"Sorry, was on the phone," I smile at her conspiratorially.
"Girlfriend?" She nods knowingly.
"Yeah. But my mom doesn't know yet." She does a zipping gesture and grins at me.
"You know what they were about then?" She takes some of the wood and we start the return to the house.
"My mom is about as subtle as a sledge hammer," I comment, holding the door open for her. She nods and heads inside.
The house has become busy in my absence and as suspected, I was instructed to sit before the game with some of mom's friends husbands.
"Matilda you can join the boys, if you want. I know how much you loved college football." Melanie is heard saying as I open a can of beer and hand it to Fred, a neighbour of mom's and the friend I suspect she's off to a cabin with that weekend.
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Bill is sitting with Charlie and Mathew in the living room watching the football whilst Tara, Natalie, Charlie's girlfriend and I are in the dining room setting the table. Mom is doing her usual supervision of the kitchen activities before the rest of the guests appear. Natalie's eldest boy, conner from her marriage is sitting in the corner, reading a book on the milky way. I smile at him, realising he feels like an outsider. Charlie and Natalie's children together, eighteen month old Caitlin and six weeks old Rosie are sleeping in the guest bedroom down the hall. I step over to Conner who is now nine and who has been in our family since he was only a toddler. He calls me Auntie dana and yet, with the men of the family, except Charlie, he's always seemed a little shy.
"What you got there?" I ask, sitting on the couch beside him.
"It's a book on the galaxies. Did you know they reckon they found life on Mars because there is water in the ice there?" His eyes are bright with excitement and wonder and I'm reminded of Mulder. I smile affectionately and nod. Mulder would be good for this kid. They'd have things to talk about. Charlie loved him but I knew he didn't understand him. He wasn't into sports, he liked books.
"I did know that," I smile at him and look down at the colourful images of the findings on Mars. "Maybe during Christmas break we could go to the astronomy museum. My friend would love to come with us and he knows quite a lot about space and what he believes is out there."
"Like aliens?" His sandy eyebrows raise in expectant fascination. I nod and laugh. "Cool!" And with that, he turns the page and continues reading. Natalie beams at me as I stand to head to the china cupboard to fetch the plates.
"Thanks, Dana," She knows how awkward Conner can feel at these family gatherings. "He loves you, you know?"
"He's a great kid," I start to lay the table. "I will call you to set up the trip." She nods and goes to fetch the glasses. Tara turns a look toward me.
"Your friend, your partner?" her smile is conspiratorial. She knows Bill's dislike for Mulder but doesn't share it. I can't help the grin that spreads across my face and she claps a hand to her mouth to prevent the gasp from escaping and drawing attention to the exchange. Her eyes widen in question though and I put a finger to my lips to which she nods in acknowledgement but gives me a surreptitious thumbs up.
It feels right that people should know in our immediate circles about the affection and love we are now sharing. I've had some short lived relationships and unhealthy ones at that. I seemed to always be attracted to the father figure. The man that is superior to me academically in teachers and trainers but now, with Mulder, he feels like my equal. He is my equal. And although I know he would do everything he could to protect me, I know I would do the same for him. He treats me with compassion, respect and his partner. I smile and don't hear mom step up beside me.
"What are you smiling about?" She asks warmly, laying the napkin holders on the table that I had seen her cleaning earlier.
"Nothing," I lie and she gives me that look which tells me she knows I'm not revealing what is on my mind.
"You're so secretive, dana," I shrug, an old phrase that gets pulled out every time I don't disclose my every feeling. I know if I tell mom about my new relationship, she would tell Bill and quite honestly, I don't need that today.
Stepping away, I grab the embroidered napkins from the linen drawer and return to fill the holders. Tara looks over at me again, she and I are the only ones left in the room… besides Conner who is absorbed in his book.
"Is that why you wanted the cabin?" She whispers and I smile as she does a silent jig. "Oh, my God, dana! This is exciting!"
"It's still new," I mouth at her and she nods stepping to the door and pushing it closed.
"Dana, don't worry. Your secret is safe. I suspected something was brewing the last Christmas you were in San Diego," She doesn't mention Emily. The daughter I found accidentally but we both incline our heads in silent acknowledgement.
"There was nothing going on then," I lean against the piano and try to not feel overly giddy.
"No, but often others can see these things before you experience them. He's adored you for the longest time. I think that's why Bill is so hard on him. And blames him for things that are nothing to do with him."
"I will tell Bill. Just not until I know where we're at. It's only been a few months." She smiles, pushing her hair from her eyes.
"Take your time. And enjoy this weekend. I'll text you when we're leaving so you have plenty of time to get ready." I touch her arm affectionately in appreciation.
"Thanks, Tara," She grins back at me and we continue the dining preparations.
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"Dinner was beautiful, mom," I help to load the dish washer as she tidies the kitchen later that evening.
"Thank you, Fox," Her smile is hopeful. "Did you and Matilda get along?"
"Mom, I can see right through you," I gently admonish as I close the dish washer door.
"What?" She raises her eyebrows in well feigned questioning.
"You were trying to set us up."
"Well," She relents, wiping the counter and turning, tucking her apron back on the door looks me dead in the eye and asks, "Did it work? I worry about you on your own."
"I'm not on my own," I can't help but blurting it out and her eyes, so like mine widen in shock and joyful surprise.
"What?"
"I'm seeing someone," I have to tell her. But do I tell her who?
"Dana?" She smiles with a warmth I've not seen on her face for years. I nod and she steps over to hug me. "She is a brilliant choice. Although, is she totally focused on her career?"
"What do you mean?" I know exactly what she means and she doesn't disappoint.
"Well, if you want to start a family?" I laugh and hug her tighter.
"It's early days. There is plenty of time for me to screw this up."
"Well, don't. She's good for you!" I nod, knowing she is right.
The sinking feeling that hits my heart though, knowing that children would not come without medical intervention or adoption dims the joy I feel about revealing this happy news to my mom. I never really considered the idea of having children. I've been so focussed on my career but being with Dana, it just feels like the right next step. But a step we can't take naturally.
"What's wrong?" Mom asks as I wipe down the counter top, lost in my own thoughts.
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong," I try for a smile and she nods disbelief on her face.
I head to sleep in the guest room around eleven and see a few texts from Frohike and Byers. Apparently Langley has passed out during their Thanksgiving celebrations.
"Hope you're tucked up with the delicious Agent Scully," Frohike has texted. Followed by. "Ignoring my texts because you are getting some is unfriendly Mulder." I laugh and text back:
"She's with her family. I was helping mom clear up."
"Who are you and what did you do with Mulder?" The reply is fast.
Sighing contentedly, I pull up the text conversation with Scully and type:
"Hope you have had a good day. See you in the morning. X!"
My phone rings a few minutes later and I answer in the darkened bedroom.
"Hey!" Her voice is quiet. "How was your day?"
"Predictable." I roll onto my back and lean back into the pillows. "How was yours?"
"It was good," She laughs a little. "I can't wait to see you!"
"Me, to," I sigh deeply. "I will leave here early to avoid traffic. Looking forward to it."
"Yeah?" Her voice is playful now. "What exactly are you looking forward to, Agent Mulder?"
"If you don't stop with that sultry tone, I might just have to come and get you now!"
"Even with my brother around?" She laughs quietly.
"Even with your brother around," I feel the hardness under my pyjamas increasing. "What are you doing to me?"
"Me?" She asks, feigning innocence. "What are you doing to me, Mulder? I'm becoming wanton."
"Like all good Catholic girls," I tease and she scoffs audibly.
"I just wanted to hear your voice. See you in the morning. I love you!" She whispers as my heart dances in my chest.
"I love you, to!" We hang up and I drift into sleep.
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The light is slowly growing brighter in the room as I stir from sleep. Caitlin and Rosie are in the room with me. I yawn and stretch and greet Rosie who is stirring in her travel crib.
"Good morning, pretty girl," I lift her and smell the immediate scent of baby excrement. "No wonder you're awake. Let's go get you changed." I take her down stairs and grab her baby bag. Stripping her off and changing her diaper, I feel the contentment of the scent of clean baby and the joy children can bring. The pang of regret is as strong as the day I found out I was barren. But there is nothing I can do. Even if I was able to, my relationship with Mulder is too new for any huge commitment just now.
Making up her bottle, I enjoy the quiet of the house before anyone else stirs. Charlie and bill were suitably merry the previous night and I knew both would be sporting hangovers this morning. Tara had gone to bed just as late and I keep an ear out for Mathew. He could toddle about on his own now but I didn't want him to feel worried.
"Morning, Aunt Dana," Conner stands in the doorway, rubbing his sleep filled eyes, his book firmly in his hand. "Did she wake you?" He nods to his sister and I smile as Rosie guzzles the last of her bottle.
"No," I smile affectionately down at her. "How did you sleep?"
Sitting beside me on the couch, he leans back and yawns, shrugging non-commitally.
"Did you mean it?" He suddenly breaks the quiet and looks at me earnestly.
"Mean what?" I look at him, his face lit with anticipation.
"About the museum?" His hope is palpable.
"Of course," I sit Rosie up and begin to wind her.
"Just me? No babies!" His look of disdain makes me chuckle.
"I don't think they'd like it," Sitting Rosie contentedly in her bouncy chair I return to the couch with my coffee that has gone to luke warm. "Conner, I promise, no babies. Just me, you and my friend. He's into all this kind of thing."
"He sounds cool!" conner grins at me and opens his book as I stand.
"He is," I nod to myself and head to the kitchen to make some toast for us both.
"Dana?" Mom is standing in the bedroom doorway as I finish off packing my things that morning. "Fox is here." Her smile tells me she's pleased. He's talking to Charlie in the kitchen. Bill is still in bed."
"Too much wine," I chuckle and she smiles as I grab my bag and head down the stairs. Caitlin and Mathew are sitting watching cartoons as I round the corner and caitlin runs to me, pudgy arms raised to indicate her need to be picked up. Dumping my bag by the door, I lift her and cuddle her small warm body to my chest.
"Good morning, little one. How are you?"
"Good! Mathew and me had lucky charms! And daddy said, I'm his lucky charm. Not Rosie or Conner! Just me!" Her pride is endearing and her sparkle makes my heart ache. I want this to be my life. Holding a toddler in my arms and hearing about her experiences, no matter how mundane.
"Well, your daddy's pretty smart!" I kiss her cheek and she wriggles to return to her cartoon.
My stomach becomes a flutter. Has mom worked it out? What has Mulder said? I look at my watch, it is ten aM. He was only a few minutes early.
Stepping into the pristine kitchen, I smile hearing my younger brother talk to Mulder in a way I only wish Bill would. Charlie is friendly and interested and doesn't have some of the same prejudice against my partner that Bill holds onto so tightly.
"Hey, Dana!" Charlie's red hair, so like mine cascades to his shoulders, giving him a rockstar look that I know mom and Bill hate but I find adorable. "Fox here was just telling me about the Jersey Devil." I look at my partner and his eyes are dancing with mischief. What on earth is he telling my brother? I half smile and shrug. I notice Conner is standing by the island, reading his book. Mulder sees my glance and smiles.
"I read that book," He steps toward conner, more comfortable in my younger brother's presence than I have ever seen him in my elder's. Conner looks up, surprised to be included in adult conversation.
"Really? Do you belief it?" Mulder laughs derisively.
"What's your name?" He smiles warmly at the boy.
"Conner," My step nephew replies cautiously.
"Well, Conner, something you will learn very quickly about me, I belief almost anything. Maybe except, what the government tell us." Conner's eyes widen in glee and Charlie laughs good naturally.
"I can see why I like you, and my brother doesn't, Fox," Charlie leans leisurely against the counter. Mulder looks up at me and seeing my smile relaxes.
"Bill's in bed," I tell him, amusement in my voice.
"Can't keep up," Charlie comments pouring some water into the coffee machine. "Neither can my better half. Thanks for getting up with Rosie, Dana. You should have woke me."
"It was no trouble," I take the cup of coffee Charlie hands me and smile as Mulder sits by Conner and talks to him about the facts they have both probably memorised from that book.
"He'll be good for you," Charlie mouths and I look astonished but Charlie does a zipping gesture across his mouth and I feel relief wash over me. Had Natalie heard my conversation with Tara?
"Fox, have you eaten?" Mom asks as she steps into the room, Rosie wriggling in her arms.
"Yeah, I have. Thank you, Mrs Scully," He looks up at me and nods to the door.
"Yeah, mom. We need to hit the road. We have some work to get to."
"Over Thanksgiving weekend?" She looks crushed but nods knowing the futility of arguing.
"Criminals don't stop for Thanksgiving mom," Charlie supports our case and part of me feels guilty I'm keeping my mom in the dark.
"We better go," I hug my brother, Conner, kiss Rosie on the cheek and my mom to.
"I'll call you," I smile warmly and Mulder is shaking Charlie's hand as I walk to the door and lift my bag. Tara is coming down the stairs, her hair wet from the shower.
"Morning, Dana. Fox," Her smile is mischief and I shake my head subtly as mom enters the hallway.
"Hi, Tara," He greets her friendly as he pulls his keys from his jacket.
"I'll grab my car when I get back from this case," I tell mom and she says it's fine and not to worry. The excitement in my stomach flips as we step out onto the porch and wave goodbye and head to Mulder's blue car.
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