Catch Without Arms Chapter 12: I've Given Up Trying, a naruto fanfic

Note from the Author: Ah. The chapter in which I attempt to redeem Sasuke's character.

Only-getting-darker: I'm ever so flattered that you cried. And … awww:hugs:

Kichou: o.O Your review made me twitch. Because the name of this chapter is "I've Given Up Trying." Haha.

Inukitsy: I don't like making Naruto sad. Because I love Naruto. :hugs Naruto: But it's crucial to the story.

Scooperchan: o.O New reviewer! :throws cookies: I feel kind of bad – because now everyone hates Sasuke as much as I do, and I didn't really mean for that to happen. :chews fingernails:

Kawaii-Aikurushii-Kitsune: … Sasuke is always a jackass. Haha.

BankotsusChick: First of all, new reviewer! :cookie-throwing: Second of all, your pen name makes me giggle. Third, thank you. And fourth, I hate Sasuke because he's so damn emo!

Sapphire-luna232: … I'd call you a new reviewer, but you're technically not. :gives you cookies anyway: Anyway, I'm really flattered that you liked "Don't Be Afraid" enough to read "Catch Without Arms" too. :hug:

Saskie: :panics and thinks someone's going to kill my main character:

SasuNaru4eva: I really, really don't like making Naruto cry. And somehow I manage to do it. :le sigh:

Taiyo-san: I'm so glad you mentioned him being the uke, because I didn't think I was doing a very good job of writing him as the uke. :hug: Oh, and the rest of the review made me blush. :sheepish smile and more big hugs:

I've given up trying.

Hinata perched on the windowsill, legs drawn up, arms clasped around them, white eyes reflecting the mood and tint of the gloomy sky.

"Hinata?"

Her gaze turned to the boy sitting across from her, who stared up into the clouds. "What is it, Naruto-kun?"

He sighed heavily. "What's it feel like?"

"What?" Her voice was soft with patience.

"Knowing that, no matter what, Neji's always going to love you."

She leaned forward, squeezed his wrist reassuringly, a smile full of a sympathy that made him ill flashing across her face. "I think you know how it feels." She whispered.

"Yeah, I thought so too." His forehead fell against the window. "But I feel like I don't even know him anymore – like all along, he was lying to me, and I'm so fucking stupid for believing in him."

Hinata shifted to her knees, pulling his head to her shoulder and wrapping him into a hug. This situation was so strange. From what she understood, Sasuke hadn't even told him that Itachi was back in the picture (and she wasn't about to mention it) – just that it was over. It filled her with this burning rage that he could be so selfish, and her heart had ached when the blonde boy now in her arms had appeared, sobbing, on her doorstep that morning. Neji, incensed that Sasuke was being such a moron – and that two boys had collapsed on his girlfriend in tears – had stormed off moments ago to his house, mumbling something about kicking as many Uchiha asses as he could get his hands on.

Wishing vaguely that he was here to help her, Hinata quietly offered, "I don't know what's gotten into Sasuke-kun. But I have no doubts that he adores you and would do anything for your happiness. I bet that he believes, in the long run, this is the best thing he can do for you."

A mist was forming again over Naruto's cerulean eyes. "I wonder how he ever thought being without him would make me happy."

Sasuke folded his last shirt, tucking it into the corner of his third suitcase and snapping it shut. He could still hear his brother's music pounding from the master bedroom, which meant he could sneak past unnoticed. Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair, studying the white room in grim satisfaction before picking up his suitcases. This was it. This was finally the day he left all of this behind him.

Tightening his grip on the handles of the valises as he picked them up – the third already in the trunk of his ear – he started for the front door, only to jump and drop one when Itachi appeared in his path.

The older boy's smirk vanished as he took in the scene. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Scowling, Sasuke reclaimed his suitcase. "Leaving."

The nasty smile returned. "Why? You have nowhere to go, and no one but me. Remember, little brother? The Uzumaki kid isn't around anymore to catch you when you fall. All you've got is me."

The younger Uchiha glared up at him. "I still have my pride, Aniki." As Itachi's eyes narrowed at the mocking title he hadn't used to address him in so long, Sasuke's knee met his groin, and he doubled over in pain, leaning against the wall. "I may not have Naruto anymore – I didn't deserve him anyway but I don't need you." Opening the door, he turned his eyes full of an emotion near pity. "Good-bye, Itachi. Have fun finding a new toy to break." And leaving the building, he felt truly free for the first time in years.

Neji strolled easily toward Sasuke's car, anger increasing his patience. He leaned on the door, eyebrow lifted at the popped trunk hood and the suitcase beside the car. "Going somewhere?"

A bang was heard and the car jerked, followed by a string of curses that could only mean he'd just startled Sasuke into slamming his head. Glaring around the corner, he snarled. "What are you doing here?"

The elder boy jumped over the door into the passenger's seat, crossing his arms casually as he sat down. "I want you to explain to me what the fuck you thought you were doing." All teasing pretenses were dropped, and icy white gaze taking its place, demanding answers. "There is a boy sitting in Hinata-sama's room right now, bawling his eyes out because the boy he loves is a total douche. At least, that's my take on the situation. Why don't you tell me yours? Prove me wrong."

The Uchiha sighed, sliding into the driver's seat and sitting cross-legged. "He's better off without all the shit going on in my life. He deserves someone who can make him happy – not me. I just fuck up over and over again."

Neji nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I'd call 'telling him you don't love him anymore' a fuck-up."

Sasuke grimaced. "Not one of my proudest moments."

"And it's not true."

"I love him more than anything."

"So why'd you say it?"

"Because as much as I brag about how much better I am than him, I've never thought that!" His dark hair fell into his face, blocking his expression. "You weren't around for it, but when we were younger, everyone treated him like shit. No one even knows why – there was this collective agreement to hate him. I didn't hate him – but he irritated me, so I just turned the other cheek when he got picked on. It wasn't until after my parents died that I really started to look at him. We're so much alike – we're both orphans, we both had no friends, although everyone wanted to be friends with me – except him, of course. But I realized that no matter how many times he got pushed down, he always got back up, always kept smiling. And I wanted to have that in my life – because I admired him. I wanted to be like him, and I knew I never could." The dark eyes lifted to the rearview mirror, a smile playing on his lips. "And I ended up loving his instead." His shoulders shook, his eyes averting again, hands tightening around the bottom of the steering wheel, and a sob escaped him unwanted. "I never wanted to hurt him. I just want him to find someone worthy of him."

Neji was silent, eyes softened. This was honesty – unrefined honesty – and completely raw love. Nestling a hand into the mop of dark hair, he said, "Sasuke, why haven't you ever told him this?"

The tears fell on white hands, no thought to wipe them away crossing the younger boy's mind. "Because I always knew I would have to leave him eventually. And if I told him, he wouldn't ever let me go." He whispered, words punctuated with ragged breaths. "He wouldn't let me do what's best for him."

"Who are you to say what's best for him?" Neji's older brother instincts were coming into play, like they often did when Hinata or Hanabi needed his advice. Sighing, he changed tactics, quietly offering, "Look. I'm not making you stay. I'm not even going to ask you to tell me where you're going. All I want to know is what to tell Naruto."

Swiping a hand across his face to rid it of moisture, he looked up, dark eyes rimmed with red. "I'm glad you asked."

Hyuuga eyebrows furrowed questioningly.

"Can you give him something for me?"

The doorbell rang persistently, and Naruto groaned, rolling out of bed without thinking of the consequences. Climbing to his feet from the floor, his head aching, he stumbled down the stairs and threw the door open, fully intending to rage at whoever had the balls to ring the bell at nine in the morning during the summer when he would surely still be asleep, but ended up smiling brightly instead. "Hi, Sakura-chan."

The lemonade-colored hair followed her body into the foyer as she threw herself, sobbing dramatically, at the unsuspecting boy, whose mind was still dimmed with sleep. "Oh, Naruto – it's awful!" she wailed. "I went to Sasuke-kun's apartment. I wanted to invite him out to a group thing and-and his brother – he said he ran away!"

Meanwhile, Naruto had tensed in her grip. "And why are you coming to me about this?" he asked softly, his tone suddenly ringing with the sound of heartbreak. "Wait – did you say his brother told you?"

She sniffled, green eyes shining as she looked up at him hopefully. "Yes. Does that mean something? Can you help me find him?"

So that's why he ended it. The blonde head shook. "I'm sorry, Sakura-chan, I don't know where he is. If he left town, we'll probably never see him again."

She stepped back, surprised. "That's it? You're giving up?"

He grinned sheepishly, shrugging and repeating his apology.

Sakura's face twisted with anger. "I thought you loved him, Naruto."

His eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah, well – I thought he loved me too." He pushed her gently out onto the stoop. "Bye, Sakura-chan."

Her hand slammed onto the door, stopping him from closing it. "The Naruto I know wouldn't give up!" she cried. "Naruto wouldn't ever let something like probabilities get him to stop trying!" Her eyes narrowed. "Especially when it comes to someone he cares about – someone he loves."

"Unfortunately, Sakura-chan," he said quietly, pain etching his voice. "I've tried all I can." His blue eyes shown with tears he promised himself he wasn't going to cry again. "I'm not the Naruto you know anymore. I'm the Naruto he created." The door clicked shut before she could respond.