Note from the Author: You guys seriously kick ass, and I love every fucking one of you. And if you guys are aware of any Naruto birthdays in the next month, let me know – because I don't think I have any on my calendar, and that doesn't always mean there aren't any. Yeah, um – I live in a town in Illinois on the northwestern border of Indiana … so that's where they live too. :v for victory: Only instead of Crete, it shall be called … Konoha.
Inukitsy: You must have posted that review half a minute before I posted the new chapter. Haha.
Kichou: Yeah, just another random subplot in a story that has no end.
Taiyo-san: … Sadly, I am an Orochimaru fangirl. Haha.
Kawaii-Aikurushii-Kitsune: I love getting reviews from you because you're so bloody into it!
Scooperchan: Okay, come on. We all know that during the second Chuunin exam when Orochimaru's talking to Anko about Sasuke having a beautiful body – he's not talking about physical form.
BankotsusChick: Just don't cry:frets: I don't know what I'll do if another reviewer cries. Don't worry – it's getting there. And that's the loveliest compliment ever – thank you. :hugs:
Ruruken15: Thank you, dahling. I know. Now you're probably like, "It's about damn time!"
Lotus Aia: o.O I honestly thought you stopped reading this. Seriously. I was sure of it. Haha. Somehow, Orochimaru's not totally a bad guy – and I'm not sure Itachi's completely out of the picture yet, so you may have more chances to beat at him later. :thumbs up Gai-style:
… so they will care.
"Naruto, we live in Chicagoland." Sakura's eyes narrowed at the immense building before her, styled in the way of Roman architecture. "Why do we need to visit a museum that is less than half an hour from home?"
"Because, Sakura-chan!" the excited blonde boy beamed at her, hopping up the steps. "It's a road trip! We're supposed to make stupid detours. Besides, I've never been here, so it's as good a place as any to start."
Hinata blinked at him, surprised. "You've lived in Konoha all your life and you've never been to the Field Museum?"
"Somehow that doesn't surprise me." Neji commented in a monotone, eyebrow lifted. "Naruto doesn't really strike me as a museum kind of guy."
"But still, you never came with school or anything?"
Naruto grinned sheepishly, ruffling his hair. "Nah – I always skipped field trips. Iruka would take me to do something fun on field trip days. He said they were a waste of tax-payers money anyway."
"I'm going to remember that next time he tries to take us on a field trip." Kiba murmured, huffy because Akamaru had to stay in the van.
"We'll only be here for an hour or so," Hinata assured him, smiling gently.
"Yeah – it's just a quick stop. I want to get a random souvenir."
Shikamaru rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. "This is so troublesome."
"Shut up!"
"Stop fighting, boys!" Ino barked.
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Four more hours into the road trip and Kiba and Naruto were already driving Neji crazy.
"Jesus – this is the most boring drive ever." The dog-lover whined, all of his comments accentuated by Akamaru's yipping bark. "I mean look at the view – there is no view!"
"I'm never eating corn again." Naruto declared, glaring out the window at the tall vegetables that blanketed the majority of Iowa, as if it was their fault everyone in the state grew the damn thing.
"Stop whining, or you guys can walk to California." Neji ordered for the hundredth time, glaring at them through the rearview mirror.
There had been a point, near the border between Illinois and Iowa, that he had stopped the car on the shoulder of the interstate and bodily threw them both from the vehicle – the only thing that saved them from being road kill was Hinata pleading for him to at least throw them in the ditch. He would have left them there if Ino and Temari hadn't run back from where they'd parked a mile ahead and begged him to let them come, promising that at their next stop, they'd switch up the seating arrangements so he wouldn't have total morons in the car.
Two hours later, he was still grumbling about them both when the two-way on Hinata's new phone, which Neji had bought her before they left, beeped. She picked it up. "What is it, Ino-chan?"
"Welcome to Dubuque, Iowa!" the girl in the car ahead of them shouted just as they passed the sign for the Quad City.
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"Morale, everyone?" Temari led the way into the Pizza Hut they'd chosen for dinner.
General positives, Neji's "I hope someone impales me with a fork" completely ignored.
"Where are we stopping for the night?" Shikamaru asked, bored but always thinking ahead.
"We could stay here." Hinata suggested. "It seems like a fun town. We could go out. Besides, we don't know when we'll hit the next big city in Iowa."
"If there are any more big cities in Iowa!" Kiba and Kankurou, hopping from their seats, declared a little too loudly at once, some natives turning to glare at them. Kiba blushed, sitting back down, yelping in surprise when Shino pulled him close, eyeing Kankurou warily.
"Sounds like a plan, then?" Naruto stated more than asked. "We'll find a cheap hotel somewhere nearby, throw our shit there, and then go out and have some fun."
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"What the fuck? Get your hands off me!" a resounding slap emphasized Sakura's shriek.
The entire group turned to blink at the silver-haired bartender who had just attempted to fondle her.
"If you're going to come onto me, at least have the courtesy to talk to me first!" the irate girl scolded. "And I don't date perverted old men – so back off!"
The man grinned, lifting his hands in a sign of peace. "You've got it all wrong. I wasn't groping you. I was researching."
"Researching what?" Naruto growled at him, more than a little protective when it came to his pink-haired best friend. "What's the best way to get your ass kicked by the ten guys sitting with the girl you just groped?"
His laugh was decidedly more nervous then. "No, no – I'm writing a book."
Ino's eyebrow shot up. "A book."
"Yes. Maybe you've heard of my series – Icha Icha Paradise."
The group – minus Temari, Neji, TenTen, and Lee - collectively groaned
"Those are the books Kakashi-sensei reads when he's supposed to be teaching us." Naruto explained when Lee asked. "They're fucking really dirty." He jumped up and leaned toward the old man. "You should ask a girl before you use her for 'research', you pervert."
The old man's eyes narrowed. "What are you, gay?"
Another simple group answer of "Yes."
He stood back. "Oh." Then he smiled, extending his hand. "I'm Jiraiya. You kids gonna be in town for long?"
Naruto ignored the offered truce, falling back onto his stool. "Just for the night."
"That's too bad. There's lots to see around here."
"We're getting the fuck out of Iowa as soon as possible." Kiba declared, gnawing at a mozzarella stick.
"Iowa's not so bad."
He snorted. "Like hell it's not."
"What Kiba-kun meant," Hinata jumped in, hoping that Jiraiya wasn't insult by his lack of tact, "is that we're going to California. We're just driving through Iowa."
"California's not all it's cracked up to be." Jiraiya commented. "So why California?" he asked.
"Temari watches too much Laguna Beach." Shikamaru offered as an explanation, jerking an accusatory thumb in his girlfriend's direction.
She smacked him. "No. I used to live in California – my brothers and me – and I kind of miss it. I want to go back and see it. And nobody else had any ideas about where to go!" she added indignantly, since she was just now becoming aware that not everyone wanted to go to the west coast. "I would have gone somewhere else if someone had suggested it!"
Kankurou laughed, patting her on the back. "Don't worry about it, Temari. I kind of miss home too." He nudged his brother, glaring at him in a way that said "Agree, or I'll kick your ass later."
Gaara sighed like it was a bother. "Yeah, Temari. Home will be fun."
Her eyes narrowed. "Liar."
He blinked at her. "What?"
"You're lying. You hated Suna."
"Now look what you did." He turned away with the accusation tossed at Kankurou.
"Then we won't go to Suna!" the older brother yelped, panicked. "We'll just chill in LA or something!"
Shikamaru yawned loudly, drawing attention from the sibling fight about to ensue. "I'm going back to the motel."
"I'll come with you." Temari threw a last scathing look at her little brothers and laced her fingers with her boyfriends. "Good night, everyone. Nice to meet you, Jiraiya."
He waved. "Have fun, kids."
They both blushed at this and hurried away.
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The days were blurred for Sasuke, probably because time had very little meaning now. With the discovery of clubbing, he'd also found alcohol. It was truly a brilliant invention: it numbed away awareness and completely destroyed insecurities and most morals – he'd woken up in bed beside Orochimaru on a number of occasions, though the older man always told him – rather irritably – that Sasuke'd passed out before they'd done anything.
He even enjoyed certain aspects of the hangovers – especially the headache, but that was only because it gave him a reason to stay sleeping in his dark, cool room for most of the day.
When he wasn't partying or passed out in one of his friends' random beds, he was haunting Tayuya's café. He liked her – she was loud, had a vocabulary limited exclusively to curse words, and loved to gossip, especially about her friends, because, in her words, they were the ones she had the most shit on.
The only thing that really grated on his nerves about her was her pink hair – a few shades darker than Sakura's, to be sure – but still similar enough to drive him toward insanity. Besides that, if he ever dared to venture from his room and into the coffee shop with a hangover, it often physical hurt to look at her.
Aside from that, though, he was semi-content with how his life was going. He wasn't sure he was going to attend his senior year in high school – he had nothing to worry about by way of money now that he was an adult and didn't need a guardian to take cash from the bank now – and he had a place to live probably for the rest of his life.
The one thing he was still having trouble getting away from was a certain blonde boy that he couldn't seem to stop being in love with. And of course, that was the one thing drinking couldn't fix.
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Additional A/N: Yay for random subplots!