Note from the Author: I have a sudden love for subplots. Although this chapter is loving main plot-ness.
Kawaii-Aikurushii-Kitsune: I hate Laguna Beach with a passion. Haha. I think I've seen one episode. :shoots self in head: Yeah, Sasuke's just being Sasuke. Someday, he'll be all, "Ah! Naru-chan:hugs and kisses:" … Hopefully.
Kichou: Thank you. I liked the arguing-in-the-car thing too. Just because I've been in that situation, though I've never kicked someone out.
Migueliscool: I appreciate your enthusiasm.
Scooperchan: o.O :FLAILS: Don't ruin it! :sniffles: My plotline is so easy to guess. :jumps off a cliff: Oh, and Sasuke isn't old enough to drink, but … you know … when has that ever stopped anyone?
Book-manga-freak: This story does indeed have a happy ending.
BankotsusChick: Oh, my god, I know, right? Haha. Totally a fucking filler chapter. Although it did help me in setting up some subplots that I want to add along the way so people don't get bored. And to be honest … I really, really wanted to add Jiraiya and Tsunade to the story. :shrugs: It was pretty simple. I am easy to please.
It's the same difference.
Sasuke's head hurt. And that wasn't particularly unusual, considering the amount of time he spent drinking. But this time, he was actually trying to think, trying to grasp a concept – and it was slipping away. So he said the only think he thought he could: "I can't fucking believe this." And in all actuality, it was true. He couldn't – not because the idea was ludicrous or impossible – but because his brain was not functioning at full capacity.
Kabuto sighed for what felt like the hundredth time since the conversation began. "Believe it, Sasuke-kun."
They had been lounging in the living room of Kabuto's apartment when he'd brought up a proposition. Apparently, there were more reasons than being good friends that these people shared a building and expenses.
"Why the fuck would you want me to know about this?" His blood was pounding in his ears as he paced around the room, vision becoming increasingly more blurred. "I mean, it's fucking illegal, first of all –"
"And you drinking yourself into a comatose state isn't."
"That's fucking different. This is fucking organized crime we're talking about here. If I got mixed up in this shit, I'd end up in jail for the rest of my life!"
"You don't give us enough credit." Kabuto was immensely talented in the area of keeping his cool. Although, his habit of pushing his glasses up on his nose gave away his irritation. "We're not a conspicuous bunch, Sasuke-kun. You live in the building and didn't even know – the rest of the world doesn't either." He leaned back, settling into his armchair. "Besides, it's not like we sell drugs or anything. We just steal."
"Cars."
"And?"
"Grand theft auto." Sasuke shook his head. He really couldn't believe he was having this conversation. "That's more than just stealing. And you guys do it in fucking mass." He turned outraged eyes on a person he had considered something close to a friend. "What makes you think I would want any part in this?"
"Well, part of the reason I offered was that you can't continue living here if you're not either in the Sound or one of Orochimaru-sama's whores." – Sasuke grimaced at that. – "And also, everyone here is brilliant. You are not the only smart or gifted kid here – but you are by far the smartest and most gifted." Unable to sit still, Kabuto bent forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. "And everyone here – well, everyone of them had a pretty screwed-up childhood. Orochimaru-sama saved every one of us. This is the least we can do for him."
The Uchiha scoffed. "And you think I want him to save me too."
"He can."
"I don't fucking need his help." His shoulders sagged, even as he declared it, knowing that it wasn't true. If it wasn't for Orochimaru, he'd be on the streets somewhere.
Kabuto seemed to sense his defeat, because he remained silent, deciding not to push the issue. It would sink in and settle in his brain on its own. He knew he already had him – it was only a matter of time.
"What would you guys make me do?" the younger boy finally murmured, voice devoid of almost all emotion. Shame was the only one that really leaked through, because all he could think about was how disappointed Naruto would be in him for something like this.
"We wouldn't make you do anything except maybe sell the parts." Kabuto intended to ease him into the lifestyle – soon, he would want that thrill of taking the cars. "We don't want a nervous thief out there; that spells disaster."
The connotation that he would be a failure sent a twitch jerking through his frame. "I'll do it." The pride had set in – Uchiha Sasuke didn't lose. "On one condition." At Kabuto's lifted brow, he gave a scowl that he seemed to have been holding in for days. "I want my own damn apartment!"
0
Shikamaru stepped out of the car and almost immediately dove back in. "It's hot." He grumbled, relaxing in the comfort of the air-conditioned vehicle. "How troublesome."
"It's hot in Illinois too." Temari pointed out from where she stood on the street beside his door, smiling at the ingenious way he'd declared that. "And LA is so much more fun than Konoha." She tugged on his hand. "Come on. We'll find a mall or something."
Everybody was gathered around the Nara station wagon and, upon hearing that statement, variations of "I'm not going to the fucking mall" resounded through the group. Once the voices were picked out, it was Naruto, Neji, Shikamaru, Chouji, and Kiba who had cast their vote for not a shopping center.
"Fine. You boys go find something else to do." Ino shooed them with a wave of her hand.
"Actually, I have an errand for you guys." Sakura spoke up as they were piling into Neji's van.
0
"I still don't get why you guys are here." Kiba said for the fifth time. "You're guys."
"You're a guy too." Shikamaru snapped, thoroughly displeased with the way Los Angeles was turning out.
"Yeah, but we're gay." Naruto pointed out. "As far as I know, you're straight." He cocked an eyebrow at Chouji. "You're straight, right?"
"Just because I don't have a girlfriend doesn't mean I'm gay."
"Whatever." He brushed it off. "Anyway, we're going into a coffee shop." He pointed at a piece of paper on the window. "A coffee shop that does poetry slams. And straight guys are not seen in these places."
Neji wished then that glaring could kill. "We have girlfriends – girlfriends that wanted cappuccinos."
"Lee's girlfriend wanted a cappuccino." Shikamaru corrected, opening the door. "And of course, once one of them wants one, all of them do."
"Why didn't he come anyway?" Naruto asked as he stepped into the line, suddenly aware of the absence of the boy in spandex.
"He hurt his ankle or something." Neji's white eyes rolled. "But somehow he was able to walk around the mall."
"Oh, I just remembered." Shikamaru's brain seemed to be working more than a little erratically today. It was probably the heat. "We should ask around about cheap motels or hotels while we're out here."
Ignoring that, Naruto said, "Lee's such a fucking pansy. He wanted to go to the mall just so he could by shit for Sakura-chan."
"Fuckin' got that right." Kiba muttered his agreement as they reached the counter, then tilted his head to the side at the pink-haired girl staring at them from where she leaned on the counter. "What the hell's your problem?"
Shikamaru sighed. And Shino's not here to spare us from his ever-present tact.
The girl smiled sweetly in a way that promised to turn sour. "Oh, please do go on. It was getting so fucking good."
"Should you be talking to customers like that?" Neji always retained his monotone for strangers – especially strangers that bothered him.
"You talk like this." She pointed out, straightening with a stretch. "You're from the Midwest, right? Chicagoland or some shit like that."
Naruto grinned. "How'd you know?"
She shrugged. "It's a tourist town. You learn shit like this. And there's a guy who lives across the hall from me in my building who's from Chicago."
Shikamaru, brain working as usual, thought to ask a native about lodgings. "Say, do you know of any hotels we could maybe stay at for a week or so?"
She shook her pink head. "Nah – this time of year everything's booked solid for months." At their distraught grumbles about sleeping in the cars, she said thoughtfully, "You know, I kind of like shitheads like you. I'm really close to my landlord – all of the people in our fucking building are friends with each other – and there are a couple of spare apartments. I could probably get those rented out to you for a few days if you want. Orochimaru-sama is cool like that."
"That'd be awesome!" Kiba cried, astonished. "Thanks."
She shrugged. "No problem." Holding out her hand, she said, "I'm Tayuya." After they introduced themselves, she promised to call Orochimaru. "He's not home right now – he's away on business, he'll be back later – but you and your friends can hang out here if you want. Or you can chill in my apartment, though one of my shithead friends – the one from Chicago, actually – is fucking passed out on my couch right now because he got drunk off his ass last night." She sighed, shaking her head fondly. "I love the kid to death though."
"We'll probably just stay here, if that's okay." Disapproval stained Neji's voice as he dug his phone out of his pocket, the rest of the five following suit. They informed their respective significant others (except Naruto, who called Sakura) of where they were and how to get there before finally ordering what they had originally come in for.
Settling into the maroon couches, they commenced in conversation with the owner for a while before Naruto suddenly exclaimed, "Guess what, fuckers! You're all officially gay!"
In response, three boys – two with girlfriends – chucked pillows in his direction.
0
Additional A/N: I think I might have overdone the cursing. Somebody tell me they got why I chose the boys I did. Please. Please?