Dangerously cheesy, like i said before.
Author's Notes:I know I said i was gonna write Harry, but some things in it are meant for later. it's small, but it won't make sense with later chapters. So here's Hermione! Hope you like!
Dislaimer: I dont own anything, the lines are borrowed...
It was lunchtime. Hermione Granger was in the library. Surrounded by… books. What else? Just books.
Why?
"I want a boyfriend." That's the first thing Hermione Granger thought when she woke up. That's why.
A word or two on Hermione Granger: she is a bookworm, if you hadn't already guesses. She is top of her classes, smarter than anybody in the whole school. She can tell you anything off the top of her head, do anything with perfect ease. Unfortunately, she has difficulty finding a guy. Any guy, actually, it's just so hard for her. She craves a man's touch, a husky whisper in her ear, a… well, you get the point. So she went to the library- you guessed it- to research. See, Hermione has no clue how to get a guy. But there has to be books on it, right?
There has to be some kind of formula! A definite rule on how it's done. She was frustrated. After the 29th book she pushed the pile aside. There was nothing! I should make one. All she'd learned was be outgoing, smile, laugh… that is so not me. Well, yeah, I am happy and all that, but the way it's written means BE A FLIRT. So Hermione figured, if it's written within these volumes, it must work. She shrunk a couple of the books, stuffed them into her pockets, and stood up.
This was it. Watch out Hogwarts, the new and wild Hermione is ready!
And so Hermione set out to venture the halls of Hogwarts, searching for that potential boyfriend.
ZSCZSCZSCZSCZSC
There he was. Slick, brown locks, sun kissed skin, smooth moves to match it.. "Hi!" Hermione pounced before him.
"Gah!" he jumped. "Err.." he scratched his neck.
"Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!" she exclaimed.
"Oh. Thanks." He backed away slowly, his eyes never leaving her. He bumped into a wall and turned the corner.
"That's weird," Hermione said to nobody. "Oh well! There's plenty of love to spread!" She skipped down the hall.
She dropped her books and immediately a Ravenclaw picked them up for her. He always sat 6 tables to her left in Muggle Studies.
"You know, you could shrink some of the books while you're carrying them. Then they won't be so heavy," he suggested.
"Thanks! You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life! Wanna go out?" Hermione asked. (And giggled for extra measure. Must follow the rules in the book.)
Unfortunately, he just walked away.
Another guy was walking her way. Hmm… Quidditch player… not bad… she sized him up. "Hey!" she said using her best sexy voice. Yes, she learns fast, remember?
"Hi there," he replied, grinning.
"Hey I'm looking for treasure, can I look around your chest?" she smiled.
He laughed and walked away. "You crack me up," he tossed over his shoulder.
Okay. So Hermione took out from her pocket some of the books she borrowed from the library, unshrunk them, and flipped through them. A Cheshire smile spread across her face. Newer and better lines are what she needed, and she found them.
Upon hearing footsteps, she shrunk the books and stuffed them away. It was the quidditch guy. "Excuse me, but you dropped something back there," she said to him.
"What's that?"
"This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight."
"Hahaha. Seriously, I'm getting a stitch," he laughed and resumed his… well, wherever he was going.
Hermione groaned. She needed newer approaches. She consulted her books and resumed her quest.
So next she found a rather good looking Slytherin. Tall, dark, handsome, mysterious, as expected. He was one of the nicer Slytherins, so she approached him. "Hi."
"Hi," he said, wondering why she was talking to him.
"What is your last name?" she asked.
"Zabini." He raised an eyebrow.
"Hmm, that goes kinda well with my first name," she said.
"Sorry, I've got my marriage arranged already," he turned away. Maybe I came on too strong… the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, and she set off down the halls to her next class.
I'll start basic, what's before marriage? "Do you have room in your life for another friend?" she asked a Hufflepuff who was lingering outside her class.
"Sure, why not?" he shrugged. Success! Too bad she forgot that she only made a friend. Her aim was a boyfriend.
The next candidate heard a "Hi my name's Hermione. I'm funny, smart and have an interesting DNA structure." He stared at her strangely. Luckily the bell rang class began. I guess that was too boring…she thought as she began to take notes.
Hermione's next approach was different. Honestly, these books were letting her down. And this was a first. Exasperated, she went to the Gryffindor common room where she found Seamus.
"Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?" she said to him.
"Oh, why not?" He'd seen her all day frolicking to get a boy. She deserves a reward. He kissed her on the cheek and left with a, "See you later."
The wheels turned in Hermione's head. I should try more kissing lines!
"It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss?" she said to a sexy blond walking down the staircase.
"Is it really your birthday?" he asked.
"No, but how about a kiss anyway?"
"Oh, sorry," he said and carried on his way.
Well, so much for that bright idea.
"Argh!" Hermione growled. She slumped onto a couch. Today was unsuccessful. The books let her down. They let her down! Their advice didn't work at all! Depressed, and her faith in the bindings of pages shattered, Hermione dragged herself to her room. She still was without a boyfriend.
A/N: well? do you like it? review please, the more i get, the sooner i'll update! if u have any ideas for lines, let me know!
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