IMPORTANT A/N: I should warn you, there is some sexual content in this chapter. It's nothing outright pornographic; it's actually quite watered down from what I had written before. I decided to do some editing and hold off on any graphic sex, which may or may not be included. I will post warnings beforehand and more or less separate the scene (sort of) that way anyone uncomfortable with such things can skip over it if they so wish it. It will not be tasteless smut, of course. I don't write tasteless smut, after all, so there is no reason for it to be that. I also took some artistic license on the customs of Kyrria, since the book really gave us little idea of them. Whatever anyone inferred, this might be different, but I'm not changing it.
This chapter delves deeper into Ellie's character and I think what you may find might surprise some of you. I have no idea where the idea came from, but it was begging to be displayed. So, here it is.
The world outside her warm blankets could wait just a little bit longer, she decided. The sun was just bestowing its scant rays over the horizon; the stars and sliver moon were still faintly luminous in the purplish-gray sky. She peered blearily through her eyelids at her window. The brocade curtains were richly crafted in deep green with ivory trim. If one looked closely enough, he would see that the trim was not merely a uniform white, but was a band of interwoven curlicues and intricate patterns that always seemed to shift endlessly. It was a fabric crafted by fairies; much like the throw rug in her parents' bedroom. She could not remember why she had ever thought to have the fabric fashioned into curtains for her windows; however, for some reason she could not fathom, the choice seemed oddly appropriate now. She could think of no better place for it.
She shifted under the arm that was draped over her bare body to snuggle closer to the sleeping young man next to her. She allowed his warmth to seep into her own limbs and sighed in contentment tinged with amusement when his body jerked in his sleep. She gazed lovingly at his face—having lost its sudden attack of anxiousness with the jerk of his body—and admired how peaceful he looked. Burnished burgundy curls swept down his freckled face; the hair covering his nostrils steadily moved with the cadence of his breathing. Her normally aloof façade disintegrated into an uncharacteristic soft expression of pure, unadulterated adoration as she watching him intently.
Nothing in her life could compare to just watching the man she loved more than life itself sleep soundly. Everything else around her seemed to shrink in significance; it would all just slowly recede into the background. Out of sight and out of mind for just the time being. There only existed her and her lover. She could escape the wearisome obligations of her duties for a little while when the two of them were alone together. She could put her inevitable destiny of ruling a powerful kingdom out of her mind for a much needed respite. After all, it can become quite tiresome having to be so distant and on guard all the time. Only with him did she feel like she could surrender her internal sentinel and let herself go; only with him did she ever feel like she could truly be herself. And even then, it was only when they were alone together did she feel safe to unleash her self-imposed chains.
Something changed within her when she finally grasped the implications of being the heir apparent to the throne, of being destined to rule. She never admitted it to anyone (not even her lover) but the very prospect had frightened her. It was like a constant cloud of doom hanging over her head. It frightened her to this day, causing her to doubt herself and her ability to rule. She wanted so passionately to make her parents proud—especially her father. She did not, however, let anyone know her fears, her weaknesses. She was to be a leader, the leader, and she could not show any sign of fear of her duties. Otherwise, she would not be the only one doubting herself.
In the process of masking her fear, she had inadvertently distanced herself from those closest to her. Her own brother and sister perceived her as cool and aloof, no longer the playful big sister they knew and loved. No, she was no longer that playful big sister. That big sister had all but perished the day she knew she would one day be Queen of Kyrria. That girl had almost vanished completely from existence when she realized her father would die one day and she would be handed the scepter and crown. That girl lived in a dark place now, entrenched deep within the deepest crevices of her soul where no one could hear her mournful cries.
Only one person could coax that girl out of her deceptive sanctuary. And he was currently stirring from his slumber. She moved her body so as to face him fully and smile as his eyes tentatively opened before shutting again. She suppressed a highly irregular giggle as his eyes slid open again to regard her with annoyance. His eyes were the most luminescent green she had ever seen. Her mother's eyes (which her two younger siblings also had) were a dark, piercing green. Their color was nothing like the color of the eyes adorning the face of the man she loved. His color was lighter and more reflective—giving his eyes an iridescent quality. It was his most defining feature, the feature that caught everyone else's attention.
"Ellie, why must you stare at me when I'm sleeping? It is quite disconcerting," the man grumbled.
Ellie arched a golden eyebrow. "Jasper, you are a hypocrite. How often have I awoken only to have your pretty face hovering over mine?" she countered dryly.
The man propped up on his elbow and threw Ellie an indignant expression. "Pretty? Is that what you think I am? Pretty is for maidens, m'dear. And when have I stared at you in your sleep?"
Ellie snorted in a most unladylike fashion at her lover's attempts to sound affronted. It was a wonder no one was able to figure out what was really going on between the two. She was sure someone would have wised up by now, or, at the very least, spoken their suspicions aloud. She predicted her mother already knew or had at least a decent guess as to what was really going on beneath the scenes. Mandy was the only one whom she knew of that was really privy to the secret affair. After all, where else would Ellie go to for the best contraceptive concoctions? She knew Jasmine did not carry fairy remedies, as these were guarded heavily by the mystical beings. And it was not often that fairies trusted humans, even healers, enough to reveal their identity as an immortal being let alone divulge secrets over their sacred magic and potions. Ellie was lucky enough to have a fairy for a godmother and even luckier for knowing about it.
She knew her cousins suspected a certain chemistry between she and the future High Chancellor—well, she supposed if all went as planned he would actually be future king. Not many things that went on in the palace and on the grounds—even in the city of Frell—escaped her knowledge or notice. Especially when it involved her and her potential romances. She decided, after much contemplation, to allow their mere speculation to continue while she and Jasper laughed over it after passionate lovemaking. It was rather amusing and entertaining to watch those ignorant young kinsmen of hers cheat themselves again and again out of money.
Yes, she also knew about the pool of bets in effect.
Poor, stupid little boys.
In response to her lover's question, she leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the lips and whispered, "Just yesterday morning I awoke to those lovely eyes of yours. I did not find it to be disagreeable."
Jasper smiled sheepishly and returned her chaste kiss with a more passionate, heated one. His velvety tongue ignited a fire inside the princess's body; a fire she had no wish to extinguish just yet. "Well, I suppose it is just I who find it rather perturbing. By all means, stare at me to your heart's content when I am awake, though."
Ellie nearly squealed, but held it at the last moment, when Jasper rolled over on top of her, grinning suggestively with the characteristic twinkle in his eye. His hand snaked down her side to caress her thigh, sending shockwaves of sensation through Ellie's body. What would everything think if they knew the stoic crown princess engaged in passionate, carnal acts of love almost every night? Would they believe someone who always projected herself as cold and dispassionate could love so thoroughly; that she could stand the heat of the fire of an emotion like love without being scorched?
Everyday she became the girl who would be queen, the determined heir, and the dedicated servant of the people in the guise of being its future leader. Every night she became the temptress, the vixen, and the lover; most simply, she became a woman with true emotions and true desires that were left to smolder quietly underneath her dusky skin during the day. In essence, she almost lived two lives. One day, she would join them together for all to behold.
Kyrrian society took a rather unique view on its citizens' sexual lives. Having no formal deities to worship, it tended to be more an issue of courtesy and propriety. Neighboring kingdoms tended to live by devout religious customs, but Kyrria had no official religion to speak of. That being so, it basically left the morals surrounding sex (before marriage, after marriage, age differences, and between two persons of the same gender among other aspects) up to the citizens themselves; just as they left the question of religion up to the citizens' themselves.
Kyrrian society frowned upon flaunting one's intimate relationships like a banner; mostly, society would rather not know about it. However, there were always those in society that loved gossip and would spread it like wildfire about which lord took a servant girl to his bed, which duchess kissed a farm boy. Adultery was disapproved; nonetheless, it was a business not of the kingdom as a whole, but of individuals. The ostracism dealt by society was not extremely harsh or long-lived, but long enough to know one had done something Kyrrians as a whole did not condone. If one was not happy in a marriage, one should seek out a way to take care of the situation in ways other than disloyalty.
As for sexual relations before marriage, it was a topic no one really talked about in the open. Traditionalists thought there ought to be a law formally barring couples from copulating before formal vows of marriage and devotion were taken. The fears of the general populace were, of course, for any children born out of wedlock that might not have legitimate claims to property and titles. General belief was that sexual relationships should be reserved for married couples or, at the very least, couples who are planning on marrying. Whatever went on behind closed chamber doors ought to stay behind closed chamber doors, for more reasons than one.
Ellie was obviously not intending to divulge just how far she and Jasper had taken their relationship. Save marriage and children, making love was the farthest one could take a relationship. She and her lover had discussed their options many times, but had yet to reach a consensus. Ellie knew the royal family was by and large the least restrained and inhibited when it came to sex and love. Scandals of the royal family were the subjects of many books and cleverly disguised fictional novels. Ellie really had no wish to become the newest muse for struggling novelists.
As further proof of her double life situation, the Ellie that would be queen always carefully planned ahead and mapped out different backup plans and "escape routes", in a manner of speaking. As Ellie the lover, Ellie the woman, she basically lived for the here and now and gave little thought as to what tomorrow would bring.
Even with the morning sun peaking further over the horizon, illuminating the world outside her bedchamber, the crown princess of Kyrria became yet again the Ellie of the night and let her inner passions consume her completely. Politics and court life could wait for just a little while longer.