Bella made herself some coffee as she munched on the jam and bread platter. Once she all but licked it clean under Jasper's watchful gaze, she poured herself a streaming cup and followed Jasper back up to his library.

It was almost sunrise, but the long curtains remained drawn, preventing the room from seeing the grace of natural light. Instead, Jasper took great care in lighting various candles around the room. It seemed almost habitual for him to do so.

Bella roamed the library with her cup of coffee cradled in both hands. When Jasper finally sat at his desk, she began with, "Mates."

"Phrase it as a question."

He was always very particular. She shot him a small smirk. "Let's start with your own definition. How would you define a mate?"

Resting his elbows on the table before him, he steepled his fingers. "A mate is an equal."

Simple, okay. "Can you have more than one?"

"No. There can only be one bond."

She turned her back to him, eyes absently scanning the spines of the countless books that lined the walls. "Alright. So, a monogamous relationship?"

"Correct."

"You said that you get to choose your mate. How does that work?"

"You do just that. You choose. If agreed by both individuals, there's a simple ritual that is performed that binds the two together."

She took a sip from her cup. "Just like getting married, right?" Although she quickly remembered that Edward had told that mates went deeper than simply marriage.

"No," Jasper refuted. "Marriage is nothing but a written contract that can be easily broken. When we mate, we mate until death."

"'Til death do us part." She turned around with a smile. "Sounds like marriage to me."

He shook his head at her. "You cannot divorce a mate."

"Well, what if you can't work it out?"

"The bond only breaks upon death. If one partner dies, the bond is dissolved."

Intense. Bella kept moving from shelf to shelf, barely recognizing the titles. There were some classics in there, but she saw book titles in Spanish and French. And a few in… Italian?

Placing her cup safely on shelf, she stopped to pull out some books. She didn't understand most of them at all; they felt ancient in her hands, as if she were touching texts that were centuries old.

Pushing a volume back in, she asked, "So, if you don't end up being compatible, you're just stuck together?"

"It would do you well to test your compatibility before agreeing to such a bond."

She peeked at him, a dark idea forming in her brain. "Has a mate killed the other to purposefully break the bond?"

Jasper seemed genuinely surprised by her question. "I've heard that it's not easy to intentionally put your mate into harm's way. I imagine it wouldn't be an easy task."

It wasn't easy to comprehend, perhaps because she had never experienced anything like it. "It sounds like it's an unconditional type of relationship." Bella had slowly made her way to the shelves behind Jasper. "Are Carlisle and Esme mates?"

"They are mated," he confirmed. "As are Rosalie and Emmett."

"Is there a way for an outsider to tell if someone is mated?"

As Bella passed right behind him, she gasped when Jasper snatched her wrist, tugging her closer until she stood by his side. At once, he began to unwrap the bandage on her right wrist, and then her left. Dazed momentarily by his cool fingers working expertly against her skin, she watched him work methodically. There was a slight pink hue underneath the cloth he unwrapped, cast aside neatly on the desk. She had bled a little after the bites but not significantly. Faint, raised bumps dotted both wrists from where he had bitten.

"Aside from their persistent presence around one another," Jasper explained, "a mated pair will have matching scars on their skin. There are two mating rituals. One of them involves venom exchange."

"Venom exchange?" She still stood before him, his fingers lingering on her wrists. "Do you mean they drink each others' venom?"

After a while, he released her. "Yes. That is when the scars form."

She rubbed at her skin, feeling the bumps itch. "What is the second ritual?"

"Words of promise. A series of sentences meant to devote loyalty and respect."

She smirked at him, her brain automatically forming patterns, as human nature intended. "Okay, so we have our vows—these words of promise—and the venom exchange is just… feeding each other cake. I think we have a wedding." She spun back around to face the books. "Is there a ceremony? With people, and music, and—"

"No. None of that. It's an intimate ritual, meant only for the mated pair."

Intimate was the last word she would ever use to describe her relationship with Edward. That was a stark realization. "Edward's never mentioned that he would ask me to be his mate." And weirdly, that felt like a relief.

"You have no venom to give him. You wouldn't be mated until you turn."

Her forehead creased. "Why do you think I'll agree to that?"

"You won't?"

"No!" She exclaimed incredulously. "Would you decide to marry someone within just a few months of knowing them?"

Jasper leaned back in his chair. "Am I correctly understanding that you would reject Edward's mating proposal?"

Bella shook his head at him, scratching at the bumps on her wrists. "Has Alice seen this? Is that why you're even asking?"

"I don't know what Alice has seen." In a flash, he appeared in front of her, his long fingers curling around her forearms to prevent her from messing with her wrists. "I only know that this is the Cullen way."

"The Cullen way—?"

One of his thumbs ran over her veins, eliciting a light shiver up her forearm, and rudely cutting her off. When she looked up at him, he had amusement in his eyes; he could see the goosebumps rising all over her skin.

"You heal quickly," he murmured with pleasure, observing her wrists. "But you should avoid scratching."

"Why does it itch?"

"It's the healing process." His thumbs caressed the bumps once more before he let go. "Thank you for the blood, Isabella Swan. You've saved me a lot of trouble."

She crossed her arms, raising her head high. "And I've at least saved one poor human from this mess."

"Does that make it better for you, Bella?" He stepped closer, his demeanor challenging. "Does that absolve your morals of the fact that you have signed a blood contract with a vampire?"

Absolve? No. It did kind of suck to hide this from her boyfriend who also just happened to be a vampire. Her head spun from the ridiculousness, or maybe it was just from Jasper standing too close for comfort.

The boldness of his actions wasn't lost on her. His proximity, and how freely he seemed to roam around her; it was all evidence enough. Jasper Whitlock was getting comfortable around Isabella Swan.

"I believe I asked you a question," he taunted.

"You might have to repeat it. You're dazzling me with your natural abilities." She turned from him, angling herself towards the shelves. "Edward does this all the time."

"I'm not doing anything."

"So Edward claims, as well."

This seemed to oddly displease him. "Have you considered just how much your relationship is based on vampiric charm?"

She turned her head to look at him, a certain confidence in her tone, "I have."

"You have?" Jasper stepped closer, interested.

"The charm is temporary—that's what I've realized. Whatever feelings come out of them tend to fade in Edward's absence. That's how I know they're not real."

Jasper didn't respond, seemingly in thought. Bella's eyes lingered on a book in front of her. Absently, she pulled it out to stare at the cover. L'Étranger, the title read.

"Albert Camus," she read the name of the author. "The philosopher, right?" As she flipped through the pages, she wasn't surprised to see it was entirely in French. "What does the title mean?"

"The Stranger."

"Ominous. What is it about?"

Jasper took the book from her hands, and Bella smiled when his hands brushed over hers, because it felt entirely purposeful. Or she was just being charmed.

"Absurdism," he replied.

"Ah, fitting."

He flipped through the pages once. "Camus argues that the only certainty in life is the inevitability of death."

A coldness swept over her skin, and it wasn't because of the vampire standing near. "It's a depressing thought."

"It can be depressing, or it can bring you peace." Jasper placed the book back on the shelf. "You can try to fight the inevitable, but the effort would be futile."

Bella leaned against the shelf, staring vaguely at a candle by the door. "Edward's going to be very disappointed by Camus. If he could stick me in an ice box and preserve my beating heart, he'd probably do it."

"The boy is delusional."

She had a distant notion that she was constantly in over her head. "Yeah, but so is Edward's Bella."

Jasper walked over to his desk where that big black book sat regally at the edge. "Edward's Bella." His face blank, he picked up the book and appeared a few paces from her. He pushed the book in an empty spot on the shelf, murmuring, "Perhaps not so much, anymore."

The days leading up to the Cullens' return were quiet. Bella hadn't heard from Jasper ever since that morning he had unwrapped her bandages, and she hadn't made any effort to reach out to him.

Bella followed her routine at the hospital until the weekend came around. After a pleasant breakfast with her father on Saturday, she decided to hold herself accountable on her fitness promises. There was unreleased tension in her body that she hadn't truly felt until Edward had left. Putting on her old running shoes and a windbreaker, she headed out for her first run in ages.

The crisp air sliced at her cheeks and forehead as she took the trail at the back of her house. Leaping over protruding, thick roots, and ducking under skinny branches, she pushed until her sides ached. Only when she let herself slow to a jog did she feel the rush of adrenaline and the endorphins pumping through her body.

And only when she let herself lean against a tree to catch her breath did her thoughts begin swarming.

How had her life taken such an absurd turn? Vampires, the thought of immortality, and a blood contract. She felt that if she so much as blinked, it would all dissipate into a long-forgotten dream.

But there was no forgetting the way Jasper had bitten into her skin. She couldn't ignore how he drew out her life force to feed his own. His interest in her health and well-being had been unexpected, and there was a gentleness to him that she hadn't seen before. He hadn't bit her neck, but there was something undeniably intimate about their exchange, and the guilt of that rested heavily on her chest.

So, when Edward came back the next day, she wasn't sure how to react. He had entered through her open bedroom window, and immediately pulled her into an embrace.

When she hugged him back robotically, her hands came up from underneath to rest on his shoulders, flashing her own bare wrists. She stiffened at their sight and jerked away from him. If Edward had noticed her odd behavior, he hadn't said anything.

Their conversation was light—mostly stories from the Cullens' hunting games in Alaska. Edward seemed in high spirits as he described the Alaskan scenery and wildlife. Somewhere along the way, he switched topics to the upcoming holidays. Bella hadn't realized that she had zoned out until he stepped into her field of vision. "Bella?"

"Sorry. What were you saying?"

His brows pinched together. "I was saying that I hope Charlie's alright with letting you spend Christmas evening with us."

"Is Christmas a big event for your family?"

Edward grinned. "Esme's already setting up the trees."

"Trees? Multiple?"

He gave her a knowing look. "Never underestimate Esme Cullen."

With Carlisle back from the trip, the hospital staff seemed to take a collective breath of relief. It seemed unsustainable just how much they relied on his efforts to keep the hospital in order.

Bella left her shift early on that Monday afternoon, since it was Christmas Eve tomorrow. The moment she got home, she immediately pulled on her running shoes. She never realized how much good she had been denying herself by not giving her body an outlet to release her feelings.

Her breaths came out in fast pumps as she reveled in the feeling of her muscles burning, pushing her harder, and harder. It was a wonderful half an hour before the music in her ears cut off abruptly with a phone call. Leaning against a tree, she answered, breathless, "Hello?"

"Bella." It was Edward. "The girls just left for Port Angeles to shop for some decor. Esme wants you to taste some samples from her Christmas menu. She told me she wanted your feedback by tonight."

Bella fought hard to roll her eyes. "Christmas menu, Edward? I'm the only one eating."

"It's her favorite holiday. Let me pick you up and we can get this over with." She could hear the mirth in his voice. "Where are you?"

"I'm a few miles from my house. Actually—" When she rose from her tiptoes, she could vaguely make out the town's grocery store through the trees. "I'm by Jim's. If you want to come by, I can meet you in the parking lot."

"What are you doing there?"

"I was out on a run, Edward."

There was a pause on the phone. "Alright, I'll be there soon."

Bella sighed, momentarily annoyed at the interruption. She made the rest of the run to Jim's, bouncing on both feet to stay warm as she waited outside.

Finally, Edward's car showed, crawling to a stop in front of the store. Bella jogged towards it, but soon realized that the person in the car wasn't Edward. She opened the passenger-side door and was greeted by none other than Jasper.

"Where's Edward?"

"Not here. Get in."

Bella lingered by the door, her breaths forming ephemeral clouds around her. "I don't understand, I was just on the phone with him."

Jasper inhaled deeply, which was a little odd. "Alice sent me instead. Are you going to get in, or would you like to walk the rest of the way home?"

His tone definitely could have been gentler. She hadn't seen him for a few days. Huffing, she got in, and settled into her seat. When the warmth of the car eased her body temperature, she felt a stinging on the back of her leg. Glancing down, she understood why.

"I'm bleeding," she said automatically.

"Yes."

She should be more careful out in the woods. How had she scraped herself and not even noticed?

The situation began to fit together in her mind. "Alice sent you, because she saw that I was bleeding?" So Alice also appeared to have no faith in Edward.

"No," Jasper said. "Alice sent me because she saw Edward ripping out your throat."

Bella blinked at the windshield in front of her, but she barely saw it. A natural reaction of panic bloomed in her chest.

"Edward's girls don't survive this long," Jasper went on. "I really don't see why you're an exception."

Bella wasn't this prone to injury, and had he just said—? "Edward's girls?"

Jasper sighed. "He consistently dates humans, and they consistently die."

None of this helped ease the tightness in her chest, and the fear that lingered. "Are you telling me that all of his past girlfriends… he's killed?"

"As far as I know, yes."

Bella knew Jasper could have calmed her through this, but she felt that none of her discomfort and fear eased. He was letting her feel this through and through.

She wasn't even sure what to say besides, "He's never told me."

"Unsurprisingly."

Edward hadn't ever mentioned any previous relationships, only— "He had said he killed a young woman a few months ago."

"Olivia Levi."

"You knew her?"

"Not personally. The Cullens needed to ensure her death was appropriately covered, and I provided help." He watched her from the driver seat. "It's the reason they soon transitioned to Forks."

Bella swallowed, the lodge in her throat refusing to move. "How many has he—"

Jasper put the car into drive. "A vampire's death count shouldn't surprise you."

Her voice was small. "But the Cullens don't kill humans."

"Edward has killed more humans than I have in the last decade."

Disbelief swarmed her as she let her head fall back on the seat behind her.

"Will you take me home?" Bella asked.

But Jasper didn't respond, and after about a minute of driving, Bella finally paid attention to her surroundings. They had just made the turn down her street.

Jasper stopped the car in front of her house. "Get inside and calm down."

"Calm down?" She hadn't intended for it to come out so forcefully, but her nerves were absolutely fried. "My boyfriend kills his girlfriends."

"You exchange your blood for the information he doesn't give you." He stared at her unemotionally. "There are more problems here than you realize."

Bella put her face in her hands, because she didn't think she could process any of this. She opened the car door and got out, and somehow made it to her front door. Before she could do anything else, Jasper appeared in front of her.

"Your father is home. I suggest you don't alarm him."

Bella tried to get past Jasper, but he blocked her path. She blinked away frustrated tears. "I'll be fine."

"You don't seem fine."

She glared at him. "Did you expect me to be?" She looked around them before whispering harshly, "Edward Cullen kills his girlfriends. I am his girlfriend."

"Edward Cullen frenzies. It doesn't mean it's intentional. His control is a problem, and you already know this."

Bella didn't know where to put her hands. "How long will I last?"

Jasper narrowed his eyes at her, as if her question were entirely ridiculous. He took a step back from her and gestured at the front door. "Get inside and sanitize your wound. Edward won't be by unless you've taken care of it."

"Tell him to stay away from me." She moved past him, but he grabbed her wrist, and she almost sobbed at the anticipation of the crushing, bruising pain.

But of course, his touch was only firm enough to keep her in place. "Refusing him will only make him angrier, Bella."

The helplessness that surrounded her felt debilitating. "So if I avoid him, he gets angry, and then kills me. As opposed to, what, killing me a little later?"

Jasper pulled her closer, demanding her attention. "The Cullens have thus far prevented any harm to come to you."

She gritted her teeth, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "Well, I suppose that should make me feel better."

"No," he told her lowly. "No, it shouldn't. You should question anyone who has this much interest in keeping you around."

A/N: This chapter: Mating unveiled, Camus's absurdism seeping in, and Edward's questionable past.

A little taste for what's coming up:

"Bella, I'm starving," he rasped. He was stalking towards her. "Tell me yes."

Instinctively, she took a step back. "Yes—?"

And then, they collided.

See you next week.