Disclaimer: See previous chapters.
Darkness's Treasure
A/N: Sorry it took so long for an update, but I've been having to take care of my cat Icarus a lot lately. He got himself into a fight with another tomcat and then we had to take him in to the vet for stitches. It'll be awhile before he's able to have them out, so I have to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't pull them out or get into anymore trouble. So if there are any mistakes in this, I'm sorry. My attention is just really divided at the moment.
When I sleep, it always holds a twofold effect on me. On the one hand, I was able to restore my lost energies and be close to my Aibou during the long hours of the night. While on the other, I am subject to the one thing that I share in common with mortals and that is nightmares. Not the kind that Aibou used to have in the old days, when he would dream about someone was chasing after him with the intent to harm. Nor were they the kind that sometimes plagued him now when he tried to remember things that were best left forgotten. No, mine were much darker and soul shattering that anything that could possibly be spawned from the innocent mind of my Hikari.
My nightmares are most often of the time that I spent trapped within the Millenium Puzzle. Whenever I have such dreams, though I won't readily admit it, I do feel apprehensive about the thought of being trapped there again. Being confined like that reminds me of how I had allowed myself to be lured into a trap set by Seth and the Tomb Robber. I had been a fool then and had ended up paying a very heavy price. It is not something that I like to be reminded of at any time.
My one respite from these unwanted fears is my Aibou. In him, I am able to find the safest haven when I wake up to having him in my arms. So long as he was there, I knew that I wasn't alone. I didn't have to worry about returning to the abyss that I was trapped in for so long. I was alive and well in the physical world with the one that I held the most dear.
And dear to my heart he is. Aibou is everything that I would ever want in a lover and a confidant. It often brings to mind the few wondrous creatures that humans dreamed up that I actually agree with. In his native language, the most gentle and beautiful of these wondrous beings are known as tenshi or angels. Which is exactly what he is to me, a gentle, beautiful, and unique tenshi. There is no one else that will ever be an equal to my wonderful little Aibou. His light is the one thing that will always brighten my otherwise dark world and brings me true joy whenever we are together.
It is unfortunate that he always chooses to deny this fact and seeing the good fortune that he brought into both our lives by seeing it as how the world had become ruined. There is no reason for him to believe such since the world had already pretty much been ruined by the pettiness of mortals long before I was even born in my first lifetime. They often had wars that left countless of their own kind without homes or food, genetically created diseases that could wipe out just as many lives, political upheavals that provided no sort of stability for anyone. Not to mention the destruction and squander of the few resources that could have been put to far better use under stricter management.
I instigated such a strict control when I finally regained my power and started to rebuild my empire. Even with the help of my loyal Monsters, that had been a long and difficult process that had taken my more than a year to stabilize. By the time that it was accomplished however, I ensured that the remaining resources would not be squandered on frivolous things like cars, televisions, and cell phones. Instead, they were put to better use in making storehouses, new roads, and more suitable, cleaner transportation like carts and wagons.
By using the old methods instead of the new ones, I saw the world as better off. For under my rule, there was no need to worry about the sizable pollution problems that humanity had created. No amount of work on my part would ever fully restore what had been slowly poisoned and destroyed over the eons, but I knew that when I had made a difference by the time I was finished. Enough of a difference that I felt that I was soon able to provide a stable supply of goods to my people and servants throughout the kingdom without having to worry about a famine spreading.
Something that was spreading at the moment however, was my slowly returning to conscious thought. Sleep receded from my mind and pushed out of existence for the time being. When I was aware enough, the first thing to greet me was the gentle hum of my Aibou in the back of my mind. From this, I could tell that he was already awake and this wasn't something that surprised me. Aibou often woke several hours before I did. It was a habit that he had somehow developed through the years that could end up bringing me quite a bit of grief in the mornings if I wasn't careful.
Those were the times when he would slip out of my embrace by placing his pillow in my arms as a substitute and find somewhere to hide away from me. When he first started this, I considered it a game he wanted to play with me. A sort of hide and seek that was just for the two of us, one where I would seek out my lover and then give him the reward that the both of us could enjoy. As time went on however and I realized the true reason why Aibou was hiding from me, it started to lose its charm.
He was trying to find ways to separate us from one of most intimate moments for lovers to share and this frustrated me. My frustration was for more than just Aibou attempting an escape. It was what his actions would sooner or later lead to. I knew that if I allowed Aibou to continue his little scheme without interference, he would eventually grow bold enough to try something more drastic than hiding in the wardrobe. The length that I feared he would forgo hiding from me and try to break through the protection spells that I had placed around both him and the rooms.
If Aibou did that, then there was no doubt in my mind that he would find some way to harm himself. That, more than anything else, would have devastated me completely. To know that he had managed to hurt himself despite all the protection spells and the care that I always took to ensure his well being. I couldn't bear it, so I always took greater pains to discipline Aibou whenever I found him after one his little out of sight, but not out of mind antics.
As punishment, I often ordered Aibou to remain in bed until I feel that he's learned his lesson. To do this, I place him in the center of the bed and then erect bars of shadow magic across the four open areas of the bed. Like always, the shadow magic won't cause undue harm to Aibou should he touch them, but they will make sure that he doesn't try to escape. Then he would have a chance to think about what he had done and then hopefully understand how wrong it was for him to try to leave my side.
By reading his surface thoughts, I knew that the thought had already crossed Aibou's mind. He had decided against it after remembering yesterday's punishment and so had remained safely in my arms in order to prevent having to relive being near the shadows. It was disheartening that he had done it in order to prevent being punished and not for the fact that he wanted to be with me. Still, it was a start. Given more time, I can hopefully convince him to act as he did long ago.
I chose not to let my little one know that I was aware of what he had thought about. Since he had behaved and not tried to hide, then there was no reason to make a big fuss. After all, it would just get Aibou upset when there was no need to. Especially when it was this earlier in the morning, when things were just getting started. So I just let things be and went about driving the remaining sleep from my mind.
Good morning, Aibou I yawned.
I released Aibou from my embrace just long enough to stretch and work the kinks out of my somewhat stiff body. Even if I had spent a pleasant night with him in my arms, I still managed to pick up a few aches one way or another. So as much as I wanted to keep Aibou in my arms and cuddle with him in the early morning light, I still needed to work these annoyances out of my system.
While I did so, Aibou started to inch away from me. He assumed that I didn't notice what he was doing, but I knew full well what he was attempting. My Hikari wanted to put as much distance between us as he could while he thought that it was still possible. I sighed inwardly at his behavior, but again made no move to correct him. It was still early and Aibou was obviously nervous from yesterday, so he probably needed a chance to settle down. That was a chance that I was willing to give him, so I continued to stretch my body out instead.
/Good morning/ he answered in a dry tone.
With the link still open, I could easily tell what he was thinking. He was wondering how I could possibly act so calmly after he felt that I had wrongly punished him. To him, I was nothing more than a coldhearted monster that kept him as an amusement and not for the love that I proclaimed for him daily. He believed that I did understand the matters of the heart, or the emotions of love and kindness that are supposed to exist within said heart.
It was more than I could take. I had already been tolerant of Aibou's thoughts because of the edginess that he had from yesterday. I had hoped that he would eventually calm down once he realized that he had been forgiven for disobeying me about cutting off his side of the link. Now though, I knew that the less restrictive I was with him, the more rebellious Aibou was going to act. So the best way to deal with it was to stop the behavior then and there.
Stop that I ordered sternly in his mind.
He visibly winced at my tone. I regretted that, but I knew that there was no other choice. My Hikari needed to be shown that as much as I was willing to be tolerant about some of his behavior, there was a limit to how much I would allow him to get away with. Just like young children sometimes needed to be corrected by a parent or guardian, so too did Aibou need to be corrected by me and know just how disappointed I was in him at the moment.
So I made no effort to hide the frustration that I was feeling towards my Aibou right now. It really irked me to no end that he would choose to be this disagreeable so early in the morning. Why couldn't he just behave for once and be glad that he was safe in my arms where he would always find love and protection? Why did he always have to challenge me on every little thing?
It would be nice if he was only defiant when we were both in a playful mood and ready to do something special just for the two of us. Then I wouldn't mind the challenge of conquering my stubborn little one and giving him a suitable 'punishment' for his rebellion. One that both he and I would actually enjoy, instead of him always screaming out in fear whenever I approached. Whenever Aibou does that, it just breaks my heart even further.
He isn't aware of this though, since his mind was on what he suspected would be either another scolding or a punishment. A scolding was something that Aibou was never really afraid of. It only made him feel like I was treating him as if he were a little child instead of my lover. Punishment however, that was a possibility that I could feel was something that downright terrified him. From his end of the link, I could sense that he felt if he were punished, it would be a lesser extent of what he had endured the day before.
Since his thoughts were merely rebellious, I decided that there was no reason to punish my little one. Instead, I would just scold him and again explain that what he thought wasn't true. So in hopes of soothing his fears, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close. As I had hoped, he took my signal that he was just going to receive a scolding. It didn't stop him from thinking that I would spend hours lecturing on how he was supposed to behave.
You're right. You shouldn't worry about those things, little one/ I chided as I snuggled closer to him, /Someone like you is not meant to worry about the melancholy parts of life. You need only think of our bond and staying happy. I will take care of everything else.
I could feel the outrage building on Aibou's side of the link. He wanted more than anything to tell me off, to let me know the deepest hatred that he felt brewing in his heart. He wanted me to know that he didn't want to be told how to think or act. All Aibou wanted was a chance to think for himself again. A chance to have the peace that he thought that he had known long before I had come into his life. Something, for our own reasons, that we both knew that I would never allow him to have.
Aibou felt that I would never allow him to be alone in my mind because of how I disliked being disconnected from him. In his mind, I could see images of how he thought that I would pierce any resistance he might have and force him to keep his mind open to me. He believed that I would use so much force on him that it would leave him a mere shadow of his former self, that I would create a doll that was good for nothing more than my amusement.
With many things though, Aibou is greatly mistaken on how I truly feel. One reason I would never let him have his thoughts to himself simply for the fact that it would leave him open to danger. There are so many things that could harm my little one if I'm not there to protect him. So as a measure to keep him safe, I want to be aware of everything that passes through his mind. A more important fact is that I just don't like to feel the mental separation from Aibou. I spent enough time without him in both my former life and while trapped within the Millenium Puzzle. Experiences that I have no desire to ever repeat.
I made it a point to let Aibou know of my displeasure for a second time. A little pressure in his mind to let him know that what he was thinking wasn't allowed, especially the thoughts I caught about him believing that he was weak. That kind of thinking I hated more than the thought of Aibou wishing to have our link completely severed or closed. He was not weak and never had been, since no one of that caliber would have come close to being worthy to be my Hikari.
I told you to stop thinking like that. You are not weak, Aibou. You are strong I growled.
/If I was strong, then I wouldn't be like this. I wouldn't let you hurt me, you bastard/ he countered angrily.
A cold silence spread over me the instant he said that. In the past, I have sent many a peasant to the Shadow Realm for speaking in such tones to me or about my little one. Now though, I almost feel at a loss how I should act or feel. I most certainly didn't want Aibou to believe that he was weak nor did I wish for him to think that I deliberately hurt him. He had a strong spirit, which was why he was my Hikari. And I only punished him when it was necessary, though never through physical means since I absolutely refused to lay a hand on him in anger.
So a third time in a very short period, I felt my annoyance towards Aibou's behavior rising. Only now, it was coming to the point of anger and for good reason. Aibou's language was in a tone that was completely inappropriate for someone like him. As with many things, he should have known better than to act or say such things. Someone as innocent and pure as a hikari was supposed to be free of such contemptible things.
Never use that language again, Hikari. I mean NEVER/ I ordered, /I will not tolerate that sort of thing coming out of your mouth or running through your mind. Nor will I allow you to downgrade yourself as a weakling or believe that I hurt you. I love you and do what I must to teach you your place as my Aibou and a Hikari.
I almost half expected for Aibou to retaliate against my scoldings as he had been apt to this morning. Yet, as he often does, Aibou surprised me. Instead of fighting back, he cringed at my words. His beautiful eyes stared up at me timidly, looking as lost and vulnerable as a young child. Looking at him like that and feeling the fear well up inside of him, I couldn't help but feel my irritation melt away. After all, how could I possibly stay angry with him when he was like that? It would only make him want to withdraw from me even more in an attempt to protect himself.
Oh Hikari I sighed gently.
Aibou made no attempt to respond to me. He just lay there in silence, berating himself for allowing his fear to show through. For him, it was just another example of how weak he really was when in my presence. He kept thinking that it would give me another excuse to lecture and punish him for displeasing me. My little one wanted to avoid that as much as possible, so for the first time since we awoke, he forced himself to calm down. To him, it was the only way to make anything that had happened better.
Just stop thinking like that, Hikari mine. I keep telling you that. I keep telling you that I love you and that there's no reason for you to be afraid anymore I soothed, Your punishment is over now and I've forgiven you for disobeying me. Be happy now. Smile for me, little one. Smile like a Hikari should. Don't worry about things that don't have any meaning.
I tried to keep my tone as gentle as possible so that it would help to further calm my little one. It was hard to keep out that slight note of command though. The one that comes from a part of me that always demands obedience from all around me, even my lover. It is a part of me that comes from my former days when I was Pharaoh, Son of Ra, mortal embodiment of the gods themselves. The days when I was trained to know how to become the strongest possible ruler that I could be.
This is perhaps the one assumption that my Hikari has guessed right about my early days before I became Pharaoh. Just as he believed, I did spend most of my younger years being groomed to be strong enough to ensure that my kingdom would endure any threat that came its way. I was to be both its protector and master, the one whose sole purpose was to rule over all that had been created. So I came to expect that those under my power were to always obey me.
Of course, there was more to having absolute power than gaining the unwavering obedience of one's subjects. There were also the many rewards that one could reap from having such power. Rewards that often came in the form of the many material riches and pleasures that the world had to offer. In the past, those had been many of the things that Aibou was listing in his mind of what he thought I would consider suitable reward. And back then, those things had seemed sufficient enough as payment for what I did. Now though, it all pales in comparison to the only thing that I will ever accept as my reward that I get for running my kingdom.
That is none other than the one that I now cradle in my arms, my Hikari. He is the most valuable thing that I have ever owned in either of my lifetimes and I will always keep him, even when he fights me. But that draws me back to the problem at hand. His constant rebellion is something that irritates, confuses me, and wounds my heart all at the same time.
Why couldn't he see that he was my little treasure? I only wanted him to look his best and to pamper him every chance that I could. It was to show him that he was my greatest possession and so deserved to be treated as the most precious thing on Earth. Something that was to be guarded and protected by one being who had the strength and determination to see that the treasure would forever remain untainted by the world. Yet he constantly fights against that fact, taking every chance to undermine my efforts, and push us further apart.
That was the sort of thing that I picked up from Aibou's mind as he lay in my hold. Again, he was already expecting another scolding for both his behavior and having insulted me by calling me a spoiled brat. I pushed aside any desire to scold him anymore than I already had. Aibou had proven that he could somewhat behave the way he was supposed to when we were together, so I felt that deserved a reward. So I just cuddled with my little one and hugged him to me tightly. Just enough to let him know that I wasn't angry with him at all, that I just wanted his company to enjoy.
He almost immediately went slack in my arms. I knew that it was a force of will on Aibou's part not to try and squirm free of my hold. Something, oddly enough, that I was glad for. It was nice just to be able to hold him in my arms without a fight. To feel him as a tangible and ever precious weight in my arms, almost like an anchor keeping me tied to the world.
My feelings of peace were shattered when I felt a new thought coming from the back of my little one's mind. It was one where he believed that if he was patient enough, then he would soon be rid of me for a time. Aibou knew that sooner or later I would leave him to go to Court in order to make sure that things were running smoothly. It was how our days often went and he was expecting nothing to be different this morning. That was the furthest thing from the truth now that I knew what was running through Aibou's mind and it had become the last straw for me.
This time, I couldn't stop the irritation and hurt that welled up inside of me at what Aibou was thinking. I couldn't understand it. I had always tried to be as gentle as possible with him, indulgent with many of his behaviors towards me when others would have suffered eternally for the same things. When it is necessary to punish the little one, I make sure that it is appropriate and causes him no real harm. Yet despite everything, he still couldn't wait to put as much distance between as was physically possible.
Loosening my hold enough to allow Aibou to lean back, I stared down at him with hurt and anger. I made no effort to hide what I felt from him anymore than I did earlier. He needed to know for once how he was truly affecting me. Something sparked inside Aibou's eyes as he at least partially understood what I felt. To him, it was just that I was worried that he wanted to be apart from him. He didn't see the bigger picture the way that I did. Aibou didn't see that I was also worried about our relationship and how I could keep it from deteriorating more than it already had.
I sighed inwardly, drawing Aibou back to me into a tight embrace as I took a moment to examine the problem. Maybe the fact that I allow him to remain alone physically while I am at Court is the root of the problem that I am facing now. For the most part, I did it so that only I would be allowed to gaze upon my Hikari's beauty and to protect him from the harshness of my realm. I wanted to make sure that no flaws or impurities were laid upon his soul by the ignorance of pathetic remainder of humanity. Enough of that had been done in the years before I was able to protect him and it still amazed me that his soul's brilliance survived to that point.
Now though, as I lay wondering what to do, I'm beginning to see that his soul is becoming just what I feared it would be. Not with the impurities that comes from being exposed to lowly humans and their ilk. No, my Aibou's beautiful soul was becoming impure from constantly being without the shadows of my own soul to help balance out its brilliance. Not from mental separation of course, as I keep that channel open as much as possible. No, the real problem that caused the shadows to eclipse Aibou's soul was the physical separation.
Realizing this, I could think of only one solution of how I could start to repair things. It was something that would not only be a major change for Aibou and me, but for everyone else in my palace. The disturbance I knew would eventually come would take a little time to cope with, that I was certain of. Yet it was that I was willing to make undergo if it could correct the problem that I had obviously allowed to go on for too long.
"You will not be remaining in your quarters today, Aibou. You will be coming to Court with me for the day," I said.
Though he again tried to hide it, I could feel Aibou shiver against me when I made that announcement. I was actually surprised that he was more afraid of going out into the open than he was staying by himself. To Aibou, leaving our chambers and going out into Court meant that he no longer had the protection he felt came from staying behind in the rooms. Instead, he would be facing an ugly world that hated and despised him all on his own.
That wasn't true of course. Aibou was not as alone as he thought he was since I was there. And I would always provide protection against anything that might upset or harm him, so there was no reason for him to worry about being hated by anyone. Still, I suppose that's another thing that we need to overcome. My little one has just spent so much time alone that he's forgotten how to socialize with anyone else but me.
"You spend too much time alone here, little one. That is what makes you so upset and uneasy when I come for you. I don't want my Hikari acting like that. So it will do you good to get out for the day and have the chance to get some fresh air," I continued.
My words did little to ease his fears though. They were still there, if not stronger in some ways. Well, that would change soon enough. Once I got Aibou prepared and took him to Court, I would show him that there was nothing to fear. He and I would be side by side, with me providing all the protection that one so beautiful and delicate could ever possibly need.
A/N: Man, am I glad that's over. It's getting tough to write this story from two such different POV's. But don't worry, I've already got the next 2 chapters in the works and I'll try to have both of them out by the end of July if not sooner. But thanks to everyone for their patience in how slow I've been with updating this story. I promise that I'll try to be faster with both my stories from now on.
