Disclaimer: See previous chapters.
Never Doubt the DarknessA/N: Sorry! I really meant to get this out before the very last day of the year, but it couldn't be helped. A recent accident with my younger cousin has been taking up a lot of my time and so has the general rush of the holidays. But here is the next part of Ignorance, which has sadly been ignored for way too long. I've got half of the next chapter done, so that will be out sooner than before. I should also have another chapter of Light's Sojourn ready in about a week since I'm almost done with that one.
Remembering how light Aibou had felt in my arms the night before, I decided that it would be best to give him an extra portion to help put a little more weight on him. It wasn't healthy for him to put off eating the way that he did. He was going to end up making himself sick again if he wasn't careful and that was not something that I wanted to watch him endure.
Whenever he takes ill, Aibou always becomes so frail. It seems like a single breath could break his body and soul into a thousand pieces, leaving nothing but dust to remember his presence. It breaks my heart to see him like that and I want nothing more than to drive the sickness from his body myself. Sadly, despite all the great powers at my disposal, removing an illness is beyond even my grasp and the only way for Aibou to heal is to let the ailment runs its course.
When he was recovered, I always tried to make certain that he kept his strength up after that. It was the only way that I knew he would be strong enough to keep away any further bouts of illness. After all, as powerful as I am, not even I can prevent someone from becoming ill. The best that I can do is to make certain that he remains healthy and strong enough to resist any sickness that might attempt to harm Aibou.
So I always make sure that he eats the most healthy and best foods that are available in my kingdom. They come from the most fertile farming areas that I have my human subjects working upon. Utmost care is taken in the growing process and anything that shows even the slightest sign of being flawed or diseased resulted the plant being destroyed. The soil that it had been grown in would then be refertilized several times over before anything else was allowed to grow from it again.
The farms used for this cultivation are scattered all over my kingdom to allow more variety and to keep from over using an area. I already knew from my former lifetime that if one wanted to keep land fresh and ready for farming, then it needed a break from growing the same crop over and over again. So every year, I had ordered that the farms would alternate between growing certain crops and then allowing a farm to remain fallow for a year. This always maximized the growing capacity and kept any kind of outbreaks that might occur from spreading.
The same rules applied to the domesticated animals that occupied other farms in my kingdom. The animals were kept under strict care and supervision the entire time they were being cared for. Any that were weak or seemed sickly were immediately disposed of with painless methods if there was no hope to improve their health. The stronger members of the herds were kept to be processed and to breed future generations. Thus the lines of the domesticated beasts my human subjects attended to were kept hearty and pure.
These were all things that I did I had done but something that Aibou had no idea was going on. I knew that there were times when he wondered where the food that we ate came from. By using my memories from the few times that he dared to access our link, he thought that he had been able to access all that I knew of the lands surrounding the palace. Through these, my little one assumed that there were no farms or forest capable of giving us the food supplies that were eaten everyday.
It was another one of the things that I could have corrected but chose not to. Perhaps it was cruel of me to do so, but sometimes it was just better to let him remain oblivious to what went on around him. That helped to keep his innocence intact instead of allowing it to rot away any further. Enough of that had already happened, as was evident with how distant and rebellious Aibou has become in recent months.
I considered this as I led him over to the table that had already been set for us. I remember very well how he used to come to me for comfort and never once questioned the decisions that I made for our safety. He trusted me completely then. Now though, the only kind of trust that I can find with Aibou is that he expects me to hurt him in some way. The way he does when I get out of bed and gently lead him after me. In his mind, he expecting the worst of me.
As I led him from the bedroom to the table where our food was already ready for us, I felt more than a little saddened by his thoughts. I go through so much in order to provide him with the best that my kingdom can possibly produce, yet he continues to feel as if I want nothing more than to hurt him. It is a subject that constantly plagues my own thoughts, especially as of late.
Hopefully, having breakfast and getting out of our chambers for the day might change my little one's opinion just a little. Privately I hope that if he sees that the world is not the way that he believes it has become, it might lighten his mood a bit. Then it would be easier for me to communicate with him so that we could improve our relationship back to what it once was. If that were accomplished, then life would be smoother for the both of us.
This hope lightens my own mood a bit as I lead the way to the food-laden table that I had constructed in our chambers. In the past, I would have had my meals with the rest of my court surrounding me and using it as an opportunity to discuss matters of state, but being with my little one has long since changed that. Meals are something that I have come to feel should be a private affair between the two of us, so I never take my meals with anyone but him Aibou anymore.
Aibou sees it as another opportunity for me to take advantage of him by both treating him as a child and possession. That was why he thought I always made him sit in my lap when we ate together and then spoon-fed him every bite by hand. He thought that both were my attempt to control what he did so that he didn't do any harm to himself. Perhaps there was some truth to that, but not in the way that Aibou felt.
I kept him in my lap when we ate because it was a chance to be close to him when we would soon be separated by physical distance when I went to take care of my kingdom. After all, who would want to pass up the chance to snuggle with someone so beautiful and adorable? As for feeding him, it was simply to make sure that he ate enough to keep himself healthy. It was no secret to me that Aibou didn't eat as much as he needed when I wasn't around.
Those times came when an emergency arose and I was forced to leave Aibou to his own devices. When that occurred, then Aibou would only eat what was already on his plate. He did this because that was an order that I always gave to him to help make sure that he ate something. Once he had cleaned his plate though, Aibou would touch nothing else on the table. He would simply let it be and go find something else to do.
No matter how I tried, it was hard for me to find true fault with Aibou's actions in those cases. After all, I had told him to eat what was placed before him or I would have to punish him for disobeying me. No matter what, Aibou always obeyed me by eating what was on his plate. What I didn't like was that he refused to eat anymore of the food that was so painstakingly prepared for us. He would just leave it on the table to go to waste.
Well, not completely go to waste. What was not eaten at my table was given to my servants, as they too needed their sustenance. Giving my servants leftover was not a good reward in my mind, but since most of it remained untouched at such times none of them seemed to mind. They were merely grateful for that fact that I was willing to share my food with them instead of forcing them to live on their own alone.
Still as I sat down on my cushioned chair and drew Aibou into my lap, I wished that he wouldn't allow the effort put into our meals to go unappreciated. As I pick up a spoon to dip into a platter of pears and apples slices to feed Aibou, I know that he doesn't understand that there is more to the world than he believes. Watching him as he silently debated whether or not to take what I offered to him, I know that he believes that he suffers for the crime of freeing me upon what could be seen as an unsuspecting world. In his mind, what I have done is nothing short of evil and he is the cause of it.
Part of me always wanted to correct him whenever such things entered his head. I knew the way that humans felt about him and how my servants could act, but none of that mattered. What I felt about him was important. What I felt was that he had done no wrong by releasing me. If anything, he had given us both a gift by freeing me since it provided him with an eternal lover and protector while I was given a second chance to regain my kingdom and a treasure that I would guard forever.
Another, more relaxed side of me saw no reason to push Aibou's way of thinking at the moment. Even though he considered our relationship an abomination, my little one was still the source of all my joy. A fact that was strengthened a bit as he finally opened his mouth to allow the spoon entry. I made no effort to hide the relief and happiness that passed through my end of the link as he allowed me to feed him. To me, it was a sign that he was both willing to behave and to accept the meal that had been prepared for us.
I continued to feed Aibou like this for several moments. Of course, I made certain to take my share as well. For every two bites that Aibou took, I would take one. The reason for this was again to make certain that Aibou kept up his strength. He was still a frail little thing who needed to eat as much as possible in order to make sure that he stayed healthy. For myself, it was no worries that I ate less than he did. I would eat enough to satisfy my own hunger after he had been sated.
That time finally came when Aibou turned up to me almost forlornly while I was taking a bite for myself and sent distress along our link. By reading his distress and body language, I knew that the little one had indeed had his fill. More in fact, since he felt that his stomach was a little too full. Knowing that if I fed him anymore it would only make him sick, I didn't give Aibou anything else. Instead, I started to finish my own breakfast while keeping Aibou settled firmly in my lap.
Aibou waited quietly while I ate. He made no effort to get away from me during this time, which was a bonus for me. It gave me a chance to finish my meal peacefully and quickly. After I had finished, I knew that I would be able to leave the remaining food without a second thought. Though there were a few plates that had gone untouched, the amount that had been eaten was more than enough to give acknowledgement to those who had prepared the meal. What remained would be dealt with accordingly thanks to the transportation spell that I had placed upon this certain area of our chambers.
What I concerned myself with was cleaning away the last bit of juice that remained on Aibou's lips after I had allowed him to get to his feet. Following in suit, I took a napkin and gently wiped away the excess. As before, my little one waited quietly for me to finish the duty. When I had finished, I took Aibou's hand to lead him back to our bedroom so that we could get dressed. The morning was still young but it was necessary that we get ready before it grew too much later. After all, today was going to be a special occasion and I wanted my precious one to look his best when he went to Court with me.
The thought of getting dressed was not something that sat well with Aibou. If anything, it frustrated him more than anything else this morning. Aibou was not looking forward to getting dressed, especially since I would be the one who would choose what he wore. And the clothes that I would choose for him, just like the food, was something that Aibou felt was done in excess. He sees no reason for him to have to wear gold and jewels the way that I do. For him, there is no one that he wants to impress with such things.
His thoughts were especially against wearing my former prison, the Millenium Puzzle, outside of our chambers. At one time, it had been a symbol of our bond. For him, there was no greater honor than wearing the Puzzle because it was what had brought us together. Now though, it was nothing more than a sign that I used to brand him so that the rest of the world knew to whom he belonged. It was a point that he felt was emphasized by the ornate gold and silver necklace that I had had made for him several years before.
The necklace was something that I had personally designed. Its metals were nothing but the purest strains of silver and gold that my servants had been able to find. The two had been blended together so that a continuous, sparkling swirl of the metals went around the entire band. As decoration, precious gems of rubies, diamonds, and amethysts had been set along the borders in the pattern of my personal symbol, the Eye of Horus. In all, though it paled in comparison to my little one, it was a beautiful piece of work that I am extremely proud of.
For Aibou though, what I had put so much effort into creating for him was nothing more than a collar for a pet. One that I used to mark him as my own and to attach what he felt was nothing more than a leash to help show him off. The leash that he is so ashamed of is a gold encrusted chain that was made to match the necklace he wore at Court. It was seven feet long and could be attached to the back of his necklace if that was what I chose to do. When it was used, Aibou felt that it was only a lead that I used to keep him close by while he was shown off to the rest of the world like a prized pet.
This was not true of course. I attached the chain to Aibou's necklace simply to keep him close by. After all, as an innocent born of the light, there was no way of knowing when he would decide to wander off to explore. There was still so much in the world that Aibou didn't understand and which could easily arouse his curiosity. It had happened before in the past when we were first brought together. And more than once, it had gotten him into trouble. So I took an extra precaution by keeping Aibou on a chain so that I would be able to bring him back to me in case such things happened.
For my little one though, all he continued to see was a pet that was to be cuddled at some times and tortured at others. He felt that despite my claims that he was my lover and most precious one, that his true worth was so little. That I actually had no consideration for him. Now I wanted none of that running through his head this morning, so I decided to put a stop to it then and there.
/Hush, little one. None of that right now. We need to hurry so that we'll be presentable for the Court, Aibou. As cute as you look right now, it wouldn't do for you to arrive in a slept in tunic/ I scolded as we came to a stop before our wardrobe.
Aibou just looked away from me sullenly without a word and focused on looking at the many clothes hanging before us. I shrugged off his silence for the moment since he was at least obeying me. I too turned my attention towards the wardrobe that I had opened to examine the clothing within. A small smile crept to my face as I started to look through the many articles that had also been of my own personal design that I had made for Aibou's benefit.
The majority of the outfits were based off of the clothing that had been popular during my reign in ancient Khemet. I always felt that since I had decided that I had created remade my kingdom from what I was most familiar with, then the same should apply to the way that I clothed my little one. A decision that I must say that had proven to be one of the better ones that I have made in my Aibou's care. The way that the cut of the tunics and sashes complimented his body, especially with the brighter colors that I had chosen to favor a hikari's brilliance, it was breathtaking. There was nothing that I enjoyed more than watching as Aibou moved about in one of the tunics that I had had made for him.
Sadly it is not always easy to get Aibou to wear the clothes that I had for him. Most of the clothes that he has remain unused unless I specifically tell him to for some special occasion. Then he will wear some of them, though still with reluctance. Instead, the clothes that Aibou will mostly wear when he chooses them on his own are those with the colors of lilac and ebony. These he wore without protest were for two reasons. The first was that he felt that they best suited his moods and the second was simply so that he could hide better from others among the shadows.
When Aibou does that, I find no reason to object. It is just simply too adorable to do otherwise. Seeing a light trying to hide among the shadows is not an everyday occurrence since it is the nature of light to shine as brightly as possible. So for my own light to do something so unconventional is simply a sign to me that he truly is mine. After all, I have never been a conventional person so there is no reason to believe that my hikari would be any different.
I don't think that I will allow him to choose his clothing today though. Today was going to be a special occasion so Aibou had to dress for the part. So I was going to search through everything he had and have him model for me until we found the perfect outfit for him. It was a process that I knew would take us some time but that was a course that I was willing to take. Especially since it would give me a chance to catch a glimpse of my hikari's beautiful body.
So for the next half an hour, we went through all of his outfits. Most of them looked absolutely stunning on my hikari, which goes without saying. To me, anything that he wears is perfect. But for some reason, none of them really caught my fancy the way that I wanted. I didn't want Aibou to wear just anything, no matter how good I thought it looked on him. No, I wanted something that allowed him to shine as brightly as he possibly could.
That outfit was finally found after he had tried on all but two of his outfits. The one that I chose for him was a tunic of a pale blue color with the hemline and sleeves trimmed in gold. Said hemline was cut in such a way that it gave me a good view of Aibou from behind, something I could enjoy immensely while sitting on my throne with him next to me. A little bit of a pick me up to enjoy while we dealt with the matters of the day before returning to our chambers later in the evening.
Once Aibou had his clothing on, I went to put the Millenium Puzzle around his neck. This always made Aibou shiver, as I knew that he wanted nothing to do with the Puzzle. At least, not without smashing it to bits so that it no longer connected us. Something that he desired greatly but once again a wish that I had denied him through strong will and a powerful magic spell.
Said spell was similar to the one that had long ago placed on Aibou in order to prevent him from hurting himself. Only this spell was to ensure that no harm came to the Puzzle. It strengthened the very structure of the Puzzle so that nothing could break it and so ensured that it would remain whole. As long as it did, then it helped to provide a stronger bond between Aibou and myself.
As I slipped the Millenium Puzzle over Aibou's neck, I could easily sense his disgust with the situation. He felt like that he had just been given another reminder of the burden that came from having to be with me. That it was a sign that he was a cosmic joke for some other higher power at his expense. Yet I was not laughing as I then put on Aibou's necklace and the chain. There was no reason to do such a thing when it was not true. The only truth was that I as finished adjusting Aibou's clothing, there was never anyone more beautiful than he was.
/You are so beautiful, little one. I never grow tired of watching you like this/ I smiled proudly.
I brushed aside a stray lock so that I could get a better look at my little one. He turned away, acting as if he were feeling shy. I knew better. All that Aibou felt right now was that there was again no truth to my words about him. The only thing think he believed that I felt was the lustful attention that a yami gives to their a hikari. The kind of attention that a yami has to dominant that which we protect the most, to conquer that was impossible simply because of the challenge that it presented.
/You are indeed a challenge, Hikari mine, and one that I will gladly accept/ I whispered huskily// But never think that I only lust after you. I do indeed love you and if you promise to behave today, I'll prove that to you tonight with a special game. /
Aibou shuddered at my promise. Cold fear ran through him as he realized just what I was suggesting to him. He knew that when I made such a promise, then it meant that we were going to do the one thing that shamed him more than anything else, become intimate. For him, there was nothing worse than he could do than submit to my attentions at such times. It was another occasion when he tried to control himself in my presence but only succeeded in becoming caught in our passion.
The possibility of such a thing couldn't help but make me anticipate the game that I had in mind for us this evening. It was one that we had played before that had ended with what I considered very satisfying results. I would be atop my beloved Aibou, who would be glimmering with the sheen of our lovemaking in the dim light of our rooms. He would stare up at me with half-lidded eyes that shined like pure amethyst, heart racing as he anticipated what would come next.
I always enjoyed it most when Aibou stared up at me while we were in the middle of our lovemaking like that. In those moments, I catch a glimpse of creature that has eyes for no one but me. A creature that was willing to accept everything that I offered without question or struggle. That was the one that I wanted to look upon always but was only allowed fleeting glimpses because of Aibou's often stubborn nature.
Well, if there is one thing that I will always accept that is the challenge to overcome the obstacles placed in my path. So regardless of how stubborn my little one chooses to be, I'm more than willing to meet him all the way on this. It will only make the reward of conquering him all the more satisfying when he finally submits to me and allows us to be as we are supposed to be. Two lovers who have been given an eternity to spend showing one another how deeply our love runs.
Such a thing does not run through Aibou's mind as it does for me. To him, there is only knowing that I will dominate him sometime during the night. Not by force of course, since I would never do such a horrible thing to my little one. No, for him, all he admits to is that the one horror that I would never commit to him is rape. Instead, I would simply seduce him until he gave himself tome willingly.
After a moment of listening to such thought, I decided to bring him back to the present by giving him a nice swat on the rear to let him know that I'm aware of what's running through his mind. Aibou jumped in surprise and guiltily shift his mind elsewhere. Satisfied with that, I let him be for a moment while I dressed in a dark blue robe and cape, along with my usual assortment of jewelry and crown.
A/N: Yow. Glad that this one's finished. I'm now working on the next chapter, which should be out sometime in February. I can't give a definite date since I'm going back to school and am getting more into my major, which will take up a lot of my time along with my job. But I promise that I will have the next installment before too long. Anyhow, Happy New Year everyone!