Collins picked his car up at the shop and just sat in it, pulled off to the side of the street. He set his head on the steering wheel and in a very un-Collins like way, he cried. It was over. His life and everything. His boyfriend and best friend was gone, and all he was left with to show for it was a disease that would slowly but surly kill him. He had gone to the hospital, but they said that there was nothing they could do for about a month, and to take care until then. Some friggan help they were. Not only would he slowly die of something he got that he did nothing to deserve, but he would have to wait a month before he knew. He wiped his tears away and looked at the road, and saw a dead squirrel lying there. He couldn't help but envy the quick death it had.

He started his car and drove off toward home. What in the world would he tell his parents? Well, maybe first he should tell them he was gay. That would be a start. Then tell them that he was staying in a hotel with the boyfriend that he's had for a year, and then tell them that he'd gotten AIDS from him. Well, he didn't get tested, but he had cut, and infected blood had gotten into it, so it's not like he had to really guess.

His mind drifted in and out as he drove the two hours home. Pulling into the drive way, he instantly saw a curtain pulling back and a smiling face look out. The car door and the house door opened at the same time, with a tall black man, a short black woman, and four kids, aged seven, ten, and fifteen, and seventeen, running out toward him. Collins grabbed the seven year old girl in his arm and swung her around, then hugged all the others, with 'how was the ride? How was school? And we've missed you' being passed around.

His mother swatted everyone away. "Now now, let Thomas be! He just got home, let him settle in first." She took his hand, but dropped it at the wince that came out of Collins mouth. "What is it dear?" She looked down at his hand with a gasp. "What happened to your hand!"

Collins grinned. "Ohh, I just broke a glass and cut it while I was cleaning it up." Alright, not total honesty, but not all together a lie.

"Do you need stitches? Want me to take a look at it?" His mom was a nurse.

"That's okay mom, I already got it taken care of." He kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks though."

She kissed him back and shooed the other into the house. "Alright then. Go get unpacked and come help me with dinner."

Collins put the seven year old down and grabbed his bags from the car, carrying them to his old room.

It was odd, how exactly the same it was. Not a photo out of place, or book out of order. He set his bags down on the bed and as slowly as he could, he unpacked. He looked around his room again, and slowly, repacked his things, just in case they threw him out after he told them he was gay. He had decided that he needed to do it tonight. If not, he would probably never find the courage to do it. He set his bag down by his bedroom door and walked back down stairs and into the kitchen, where his mom was cooking dinner.

"All unpacked dear?" She looked up from the carrots she was pealing and smiled at him.

Collins kissed her on the cheek and took the carrot peeler from her, offering to help. "Ya, I'm all set." He wanted to wait until everyone was together before telling anyone. That way he didn't have to say it ten times.

"How was the ceremony?" She wiped her hands on her apron. "I'm sorry we couldn't come out for it."

"No it's fine mom. It was normal. We got certificates, shook hands with the principal. That's pretty much it."

"Well I'm sure it was lovely. We're making your favorite dinner tonight! There's a ham in the oven, garlic potatoes, and cider carrots. And Tanya and I made apple dumplings for dessert. We have a lot to celebrate tonight!"

Great, this would make it all the easier to break her heart. "That's great mom. Thanks." They continued with mindless chit chat until dinner was ready.

Everyone sat at the table, eating, mostly asking how school had been, and Collins just nodded along, answering as vaguely as possible. All in all? He wanted to go up to his room and lock the door, crying away everything he felt, but he knew that this was something he just had to do.

His mom leaned over and put her hand over his. "Is everything all right Tom?"

He looked up at her, as if he had just realized that she was there. "Umm… Ya, I guess so." How far from the truth was that?

His father cocked his head to the side and looked at him. "What is it son?"

Collins looked up from his plate for about the first time since they all sat down to eat, looking around at the faces of his parents, and each of his sisters and his brother. They were all looking at him expectantly, if not with worry in their eyes. He bit his lip and set down his fork, taking a deep breath. "Well… I kind of have something to… tell you… all… kind of."

His mother nodded and continued looking at him, and his younger brother and sister, the fifteen and seventeen year olds exchanged an odd glance before looking back to Collins. "What's up bro?"

Ohh great, just what he needed, his siblings expecting something from him. "I… Umm… Well I…"

Elizabeth, the oldest of his younger sisters cut him off with a roll of her eyes. "Just say it Tom. You're stuttering voice is getting annoying." He shot her a glare before his brother Michael cut in. "Ya, it can't be that bad."

Ohh god if only they knew. He took another deep breath. "Fine… I'm gay." He scanned all their faces.

His mother and father looked at each other, his mother looking relieved, his father looking just a bit angry, but not nearly as much as he was expecting.

What shocked him most was Elizabeth and Michael looking at each other, him smiling, her pouting. Mike held his hand across the table in front of her. "You owe me five dollars!"

"No I don't! That wasn't the bet!" Elizabeth shook her head calmly.

"Yes it was! I said Tom didn't come home for the holidays because he was gay!"

"No you didn't! You said he didn't come home because he had a boyfriend he'd rather stay with!"

"What's the difference?"

His mom tried to cut them off. "Children, please…"

But Elizabeth cut her off, not willing to end it yet. "The difference is that he told us he was gay, he didn't tell us he had a boyfriend."

Collins head shot from one to the other at they fought. Was he that obvious? He really didn't think he ever was. "What? How did you…? What?"

Michael looked at him. "Collins, do you have a boyfriend? Is that why you didn't come home last Christmas?"

His father hit his hand on the table, not in a hard, angry way, just hard enough to get all the other to look at him. "Michael, Elizabeth. This is not the time. Why don't you clear the table?"

Daniels' shoulders sunk. "But we didn't get dessert yet. And it's not our fault! Tom brought it up!"

The youngest girl, at seven, Emily, whose head was just at the level of the table, looked at Collins, her eyes so innocent it almost broke his heart to think that she would have to join the real world in just a few years. "What's gay mean?"

He bit his lip, coming up with the best way to say it, but Tanya, the ten year old cut him off with a superior wave of her hand. "It –means- that he would rather kiss boys than girls, right Tom?" She nodded her head at him, as if they had shared it as a secret before this.

His eyes went wide for a moment, but then Emily spoke again, still looking at Collins. "Is that allowed? Does that mean I can kiss girls?" His mothers head dropped with a sigh.

Collins was about to tell her that when she was older, she could kiss anyone she wanted, but again, he was cut off as his father hit the table again, with enough force to shut everyone up. "Elizabeth, go get Emily ready for bed. Tanya, clear off the table, and Michael, start washing the dishes." When no one moved, he reinforced his words. "Now!"

All the kids jumped up and went on very quickly with their tasks. Collins, not having been given a task, just sat there, watching the others move until his eyes lowered to his plate, not willing to look at his father, but even that was taken away when his sister took away his plate.

After all the children had left the room, Collins looked back up to his parents face. His mom was smiling at him, but his dad looked a bit upset. "I umm… I still have my bag packed if you want me to… just leave."

His mothers face contorted with confusion for a moment. "Why would we want you to leave Tom?"

"I just… I didn't know how you two were going to take it." He looked to his father, wanting some kind of reaction.

But it was his mother who spoke again, with a slight laugh. "Darling, as long as your happy, I could care less who it was that made you that way." She looked to her husband. "Right Jon?"

He nodded his head slowly, and all the anger Collins had thought he had seen in his face vanished. "I'm not upset Collins. I just… I've been hearing a lot lately about all the negative things. Gay bashing and all that. I didn't want you children to be a part of it. And I've been hearing about this disease that's going around, and they call it gay cancer."

Collins entire face fell when his mother spoke. "Ohh, our boys smart. He'll be careful, won't you?" She had so much confidence in her voice.

Collins bit his lip, and he could taste the blood in his mouth. It was all he could do not to gag, the blood in his mouth combined with his mothers' confident face, and his fathers concerned one. He nodded slowly. "Ya mom." He didn't think he had ever lied to her before. He just wasn't ready to let her down this much. "I'll be careful."

"Good." His mother stood up and kissed him on the forehead on her way to the kitchen. "Then enough of this. We have apple dumplings to serve!"

Collins didn't follow his mother, but continued looking at his father. "So. You disappointed in me?"

His father laughed. The laugh that Collins remember from when he was a kid. "I don't think there is all that much you could do to disappoint me son. I just want you to be careful."

Okay. Well, he could be careful from here on out…