Stephanie was minding her own business, and being the dedicated person that she was, she was busy making sure she got all her work done and the show ran smoothly. She frowned as she gazed over her clipboard, and then almost had a heart attack when Chris Jericho jumped out in front of her. She shrieked, for it seemed like he came out of absolutely nowhere (he had actually been watching her work for a while).
"Heeeeere's Chris!"
"Stop doing that!!" She cried, hitting him with her clipboard. He winced, rubbing his shoulder where she hit him.
"Geez, don't have to get all abusive." He said, frowning.
"Well, stop scaring the hell out of me every week!" She scolded, her breathing returning to normal. "And just so you know, that was the lamest imitation of that guy I have ever heard in my entire life."
"Well excuse me if my name isn't bland like Johnny." He sneered. "Or Al, for that matter.." She snickered and shook her head.
"Jealous, are we?"
"Jealous? Jealous? Me, of Al? JEALOUS YOU SAY?!" At this, he burst out laughing. "Jealous of what? He has nothing that I don't have."
"He has me." She said, raising an eyebrow. He tilted his head as he looked at her, reluctantly accepting that response.
Not for long anyways, he thought smugly to himself, his trademark smirk creeping back to his face.
"How are you feeling?" She asked, knowing he was never up to any good when that smirk crossed his features.
"Fine, considering I almost got raped by a ladder."
"I bet that was quite a bruise this morning." There was a hint of amusement in her voice.
"I can show you, if you're curious."
"Yeah, right." She rolled her eyes.
"If Rikishi can parade around showing his ass off, I can show off my ass, which is a thousand times more gorgeous."
"What are you going to do? Drop your tights to prove a point?"
"Why Steph, I thought you'd never ask." He smirked as his hands went to his tights, and her eyes widened.
"I swear, if you so even.." She started, warningly.
"You know you want to see, baby." He teased.
"You've got Shawn Michaels in the Highlight Reel tonight." She stated, looking back down at her clipboard. He popped a bubble with his gum, watching her intently, highly amused.
"I love the sudden change of subject." He said, prompting her to give him an annoyed look.
"Your head is the size of Texas. Just wanted to make that clear, because you might have been too full of yourself to notice."
"You know you like it." He winked at her. "You need a real man, Steph."
"And she has one."
They both turned to look at the man that had been nothing but a thorn in Chris' side since the moment he found out that Stephanie was taken. Chris snickered and rolled his eyes as the other man approached them. Al wrapped his arms around Stephanie's waist, pulling her lightly to him as he gave the Canadian a smirk that made Chris want to go and knock his lights out. However, having the unbelievable self-control that he was blessed with (at the moment anyways), Chris just matched his nemesis' smirk.
"Does she? I must have missed that memo." He replied, ignoring the look that Stephanie was giving him.
"Well that's too bad, I'm sorry to hear that." Al replied, his tone matching Chris's. Chris narrowed his eyes as he looked at him curiously; he felt like he knew Al from somewhere, but it just wasn't clicking. Stephanie saw the look Chris was giving Al and decided to say something, for her boyfriend's sake, but Chris beat her to it.
"Steph, have you seen Rundo around?" He asked her directly, choosing to ignore the idiot behind her.
"No, I haven't."
"I need to talk to him."
"Rundo? Isn't his name Randy?" Al asked, earning a look of disgust from Chris.
"Yes Alice, that's his name. And your point is what exactly?" He answered in that smart-ass tone that only he could use.
"The name is Al. Get it right."
"Chris, don't you have something to do?" Stephanie cut in, seeing the potential of the situation spiraling out of control very quickly. She figured it would happen sooner or later, with a defensive boyfriend and an egotistical friend like Chris Jericho, who everyone knew had a razor sharp tongue. She glared at Chris, giving him a look. He knew that now was not the time to challenge that look.
"Yes yes, I have to find Rundo. I'll see you later then?" He asked, with a pout. She sighed, rolling her eyes.
"Yes.. you can get out of here now."
Chris scowled as he scrolled through the menus on his cell phone, reading the text messages that he had been interchanging with Randy.
Sent 1: Where in the hell are you kid??
Inbox 1: I'm in the cake
Sent 2: In the cake????? Now's not the time for smart answers Rundo
Inbox 2: No I'm seriously in the cake
Sent 3: .. Wtf ?????
Inbox 3: THE CAKE FOR TRIPLE H.. don't say anything
Sent 4: YOU'RE GOING TO STRIP FOR HHH?????
Inbox 4: NO! Ugh I give up.. watch the show
Sent 5: If I have to watch you strip I'm going to beat your ass kid
Inbox 5: Are you not watching the show????
Sent 6: No.. H is out there rambling
Inbox 6: TURN THE TV ON GENIUS
Damn kid is going crazy from losing that belt, Chris thought in disgust as he flipped on the TV. He hated watching the show when Triple H was out there running his mouth. The man was full of himself. Chris hated egotistical people with a passion.
A shift of camera angle showed the gigantic cake in the middle of the ring, causing Chris to whip out his cell phone and send another text message.
Sent 7: YOU'RE IN THE CAKE????
He stared at his phone and about a minute later, it vibrated.
Inbox 7: YES THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU.. I'm waiting for him to stop talking already
Chris read the message and rolled his eyes, and was about to send a message back telling his young friend that he would probably suffocate before The Nose ran out of wind, when Triple H finally turned his attention to the cake. A few drawn out minutes later, the pyro blasted, and Chris watched amused as Randy took on Evolution on his own. He couldn't help but feel a sense of pride, especially when Randy knocked Triple H back into the cake.
He learns from the best.
"You've got balls Rundo. You're going to get an ass kicking later on tonight in that handicap match, but you've got balls, I'll give you that. How long were you in that cake?"
"Man I was in there the whole time!" Randy said, wiping the cake off himself with a towel. "I took my phone with me just in case they never opened the cake.. I didn't want to be stuck in there." Chris rolled his eyes, as someone else caught Randy's eye. He nudged Chris in the ribs with his elbow, making the Canadian wince slightly.
"What the hell was that for?" Chris growled angrily, rubbing his sore ribs.
"There she goes.. 11 o'clock."
Chris looked over in that direction and a smirk crept up to his lips. Running a hand through his hair, he stalked over to the young woman, who didn't see him approaching. Since she wasn't facing him, he leaned in close to her ear.
"Long time no talk." He whispered. She froze when she heard his voice, and then turned around with a look of disgust on her face.
"What do you want?" She demanded, though he had caught her completely off guard.
"The question baby, is what do you want?" He shot back, raising an eyebrow suggestively. She sneered at him.
"Don't come over here playing your stupid games Jericho, they're not going to work."
"You haven't changed much, Trish." He said, smirking. "I actually don't want anything to do with you. I found me a real woman, who can beat your ass any day of the week." He added, his smirk growing into a smile. The sight of that charming smile pissed her off even more.
"I know you have a thing for Lita," She said bitterly, making his smile grow even wider. "You're not fooling anyone, Jericho."
He leaned in closer to her, making her bite her lip and stick her chin up at him defiantly. That made him laugh, and he shook his head.
"I'm not going to kiss you, I don't know where those lips of yours have been.. even though I know you want me to." Something flared in her eyes at his words, which was enough confirmation for him that what Randy had told him was indeed true, much to his own personal amusement.
"What do you want?" She asked again.
"Just wanted to say hi for old time's sake. Hope your boy-toy Christian isn't moping around too much after losing last night."
"You're a waste of my time." She said in disgust.
"It's not Lita."
"What?" She asked, genuinely confused as she looked into the blue eyes that once held warmth for her, and now held absolutely nothing except the same mocking look he'd give any opponent in the ring.
"I said, it's not Lita."
"But.." Her voice trailed off, as she searched his face for any hint that he was playing a game with her. She trusted the man in front of her about as far as she could throw him.
He raised an eyebrow, amused, before Randy walked over to them. He ignored Chris as he looked at Trish curiously.
"Call me crazy but, shouldn't you be out there?" He asked, jerking his thumb in the general direction of the gorilla position.
"What are you talking about?" She said, even more confused and growing more pissed with every passing second.
"Well all the girls are out there fighting, so I was just wondering why you weren't out there, being the champion and all.."
She gave them both a dirty look before running off towards the gorilla position, with Randy and Chris watching her the whole way.
"What was that about?" Randy finally asked.
"Just wanted to see if you were right, and you were. She still wants me."
"You don't want her though, right?" At this, Randy got another "stupid rookie" look from Chris. "Just checking, geez." He mumbled.
"No Rundo, I don't want her.. but who knows.. this may work as an advantage one day."
"What are those odds?" Randy asked, snickering.
"You never know, kid."
"What is Christian's problem?" Chris snarled, walking quickly as Randy tried to keep up. "Always getting into my business. Jealous because I got the belt and I could have his slut girl if I wanted too. He's always been jealous of me. I carried our tag team, he's nothing without me, or some stupid goat-looking steroid-juiced freak like Tomko."
"I think it had to do with what you said to Trish earlier."
"Screw Trish." The Canadian spat out. "I was supposed to face Michaels tonight, and beat him, retaining my title and finally proving that I'm better than him too! But no.. I had to deal with Christian instead. And believe me, that bastard is out of Shawn's league.. let's not even say anything about me."
"He laid out Shawn afterwards though." Randy noted, earning a snort from Chris.
"You can do that to anybody, kid. Doesn't require skill or brains to lay someone out. Whatever." He snuck Randy a look. "You ready for your match?"
"I'm starting to think that maybe the cake idea wasn't so bright." The young man said, forcing a laugh. Quite frankly, he was nervous about the match later. Part of him wanted to ask Chris if maybe he could help him, but the other more confident part of Randy didn't allow him to.
"Well, you're not the smartest guy I know." Chris said rather bluntly. "I know it's tough to lose the title kid, but you have to remember to pick the fights wisely."
"This coming from the guy that throws himself into ladder matches.. and then into the ladders themselves."
"Ha ha," Chris said dryly, "You are just hilarious."
"Oh look, it's your favorite person."
"How can that be when I'm right here?"
".. Your second favorite person then."
Speak of the devil.
"Come on Rundo, let's go make ourselves social."
"Why are you dragging me into this?"
"What have I told you about questioning me?" Chris got his second "look" for the day. "Alright, alright, stay here then junior. Watch the master at work."
Master of what? Randy thought to himself, watching as Chris made his way over to his two biggest rivals: one was his wrestling rival, but the other was more personal, because he stood in between Chris making Stephanie his. Therefore, the latter of the two was the one he detested more.
"Well well well, what have we here? Dumb and dumber in their true forms?" Chris sneered, making his way over to the two.
"What do you want, Jericho?" Christian answered, cutting off his conversation with Al as he turned to his former tag team partner. "Didn't you take a hint from what I did to Shawn Michaels? Huh? Did you see what I did to him?"
"Yeah, I saw, and I wasn't that impressed." Chris said, shifting his gaze to Al. "I'm not impressed easily."
"Hey Chris, looks like you're going to need some of that ass cream from back in the day, huh?" Christian said, laughing. "That ladder really did a number on you, huh? Must have disrupted your night out with the boys, if you get what I mean."
Chris faked a laugh. "Man, did it take you all night to come up with that one?"
"Is it true that you have a thing for Stephanie now? Dude, that's rather pathetic. First Trish, and now Steph. One slut to another."
What seemed like hours to Al, but happened in fractions of a second to Chris, the now irate Canadian grabbed his former tag team partner's shirt with one hand, and pulled back his free hand, curling it into a fist. Aiming directly at Christian's ugly nose, Chris let go a swing, putting some extra force behind it.. to prove a point, of course.
What he wasn't counting on was Christian ducking at the last second..
.. And his fist flying and connecting with Al's face instead.
Oh shit. Was Chris's first thought as he realized what had happened. Christian saw his opportunity to hightail it out of there, which he promptly did. Meanwhile, Al was on the floor, holding his now numb face with both of his hands.
Randy jogged up next to him, looking down at Al. Chris gave him a look and shrugged.
"I didn't mean to hit him." He mumbled, more as an explanation than an apology.
"But you did." Randy said, looking down at Stephanie's boyfriend. "And damn, did you ever.. that was a pretty hard shot."
"It was meant for Christian." Chris growled, glaring at Al as if it was his fault.
"Like it matters though, right?"
"Well, it was an accident." The older man concluded, shrugging.
"Tell that to her." Randy said, stepping off to the side a little.
"Huh?" Chris asked, confused. He turned to look over his shoulder, only to find a pissed-off Stephanie McMahon glaring back at him. Immediately fearing her slap (which had a lot of sting, and he should know), he took a step back from the angry princess.
"Stephanie," He started, raising his arms up defensively, "It's not what it looks like."
She turned her attention to her fallen boyfriend, who was sitting up and couldn't open his right eye. He groaned in pain, obviously never having been hit before - and if he had been hit, it wasn't by someone like Chris Jericho. That much was obvious.
Chris watched him and couldn't help but snicker. The sight was truly pathetic. This earned him a look from Stephanie that could have killed, which made him stop real fast.
"You're an ass." She stated, with a look that felt to Chris like it was made out of steel. "True and complete ass, you know that?"
"He was in the way!" He said, only realizing how childish he sounded when the words were out of his mouth.
"In the way?" She echoed disbelievingly, as she helped Al stand back up. Al glared at Chris out of one eye.
"I meant to hit Christian, Christian ducked, boom, I hit your boyfriend." Chris explained, shrugging. "Tough break Al. Wrong place at the wrong time."
"That's not what happened." Al stated, pain lacing his voice. Chris gave him a suspicious look, as did Stephanie. "He said he was trying to get me out of the way and he DELIBERATELY attacked me."
".. That is complete bullshit!" Chris snarled, and went to grab Al to really attack him when Stephanie raised a hand to stop him. "He's lying, Steph! He's a no-good two-faced assclown who's probably only using you to get to the top! Like Triple H did!"
"That's probably what you want to do, jackass!" Al shouted back at him.
"Steph, Rundo saw what happened, he'll back it up, tell you what really happened." Chris reasoned. "He'll show you that your boyfriend is full of crap. The human toilet is what he is."
"Randy Orton?" Al scoffed and turned to Stephanie. "You can't trust him, not while he's friends with this imbecile. Just last week Jericho put him up to taking me to a private locker room with the diva contestants! When I said I wanted to come back to you, Orton told me that you'd never know what went on there! He's just as much of a snake as this one here!"
"Is that true, Chris?" Stephanie asked, looking at Chris with a look he couldn't decipher.
Come clean or lie.
Lying will get me out of this.
But if she asks Rundo and he tells the truth, I am so screwed.
Best come clean, for now.
"Stephanie.. Randy did take Al over to meet them.. but he liked it!"
"Are you kidding me? I hated it." Al said in disgust. Chris had to give the guy credit; he was almost as good at lying as he was.
"Let's get out of here." Stephanie said, ending the ongoing debate. She gave Chris a dirty look, which honestly surprised him, before walking away. Al, however, gave Chris a triumphant look - the kind of look the Canadian was fond of getting rid of by holding the owner of the look in the Walls for an especially long length of time.
Chris Jericho, however, had never been one to quit easily. He went to go after Stephanie and force her to see just what a scumbag her boyfriend was, when Randy grabbed his arm, promptly stopping him. Chris gave him an impatient look.
"What is it, kid?" He demanded. Randy pointed at a monitor, causing the already irritated Canadian to become even more irritated. "Just tell me already, I don't have the time for -"
"It's Lita. She's hurt, I didn't see what happened, but -"
Chris yanked his arm out of Randy's grip and stalked over to the monitor to have a look for himself. He watched blankly as she was loaded into an ambulance. He started to feel sick to his stomach when he felt Randy next to him.
The Canadian's vision turned to red at the sight of Kane (ironic indeed). He quickly concluded that whatever reason there was for his friend having to go to the hospital, Kane was responsible.
Randy looked at Chris, seeing that his fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white. He didn't know if it was because of Al or Kane, or maybe it was a combination of both within the span of two minutes. That would drive anyone insane, he reasoned.
"She better be okay, or I swear.." Chris mumbled to himself.
"I'm sure she will be, they know what they're doing." Randy tried to reason. When he was met with silence, he tried to change the subject. "What are you going to do about Stephanie?"
At that, Chris scowled.
"Nothing right now, she's listening to him too much. I guess I'll have to try to talk to her next week, when hopefully, she'll have calmed down enough to actually listen to me."
"Do you think she'll believe you?"
"She better."