Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own any PoTo characters or Erik… but he owns me. Also, the song Wishing youWere Somehow Here Agianbelongs to poto, but i just toyed around with it. The last song belongs to key to arson btw, i thought it would fit in nicely with the story.

Christine jumped about a mile into the air when she heard a hideous crack of breaking bones. Gasping she flew towards the swearing Raoul.

"Mon Dieu! What are you trying to do! How badly did you hurt yourself?"

"The Phantom of the God damned Opera Christine! That murdering damné bâtard…"

"Silence you horrid fool! You know not of what divinity you speak of ignorant child! Hold your tongue on things you don't understand." Her concerned air of pity and inner valor dissolved into a fuming dark winged descendent of death that suddenly announced it's presence in the dispersing light. Narrowing her brown eyes to malevolent slits, she pursed her lips dangerously.

"Excuse me mademoiselle, but a face like that should and will burn in the deepest pits of hell!" he spat, wishing he could suck the poison he just injected right out of the air in which they hung. A rush of panic swept over his form as Christine bubbled and foamed with rage.

It was a flame just as strong as desire, and it burned mercilessly inside her of her heart, drawing strength from everything around her. The bowels of hell reflected in her eyes, dancing to the furious rhythm of her heart. Drawing herself to her full height, she spoke words of ice that cut through space between them like daggers.

"How vain can one be! Have you not learned your lesson yet, mon petite? Can you not see what lies deep in the core of a person? Beyond looks, money, and class? Did you not grow old enough to see that true beauty lies in ones soul!" Black clouds seemed to hover over her head, giving her devils wings and the look of a fallen angel. He was now on his knees, shaking, cowering in the face of the immortal in front of him. Smirking, she thrust her fingers through her hair triumphantly.

"If one was not so overindulged in the pleasures of life maybe one would see this art painted by purity! Is that why you love me, because I'm nice to look at?" Her voice dripped with venom, made worse by the distorted transformation of it's angelic sound.

"I'm no prize to be won, little boy. Did you think that you could rule me with an iron fist? I'm no child, no stupid ballet brat, nor common whore, mon doux!" She hissed sarcastically.

The hold over such a stronger physical being was intoxicating and she drank from this new pool of power greedily, as though she would never be able to quench this thirst again.

He reeks of fear! Perhaps now you'll appreciate me for who I am! You can not control me.

You can not control me.

I control you.

She gasped, appalled with herself. A pale hand flew over to her mouth and her eyes widened at the cruelty she spit out so easily. Her demonic rage subsided, recoiling itself deep within herself to fall back into slumber and wait for the next time it would be aroused. Guilty confusion over whelmed her pride, crushing it so it would not interfere for a while.

What is happening to me? What have I become?

"I am a monster!" Her whisper was barely audible in the pressing silence, but loud enough that he could here her sorrowful call. Raoul looked up from his tear soaked palms to gaze frighteningly at the quivering form of a broken woman in front of him. She was Christine again, he noted, staring dumbstruck at the hem of her skirts.

Such truths and lies! Such power, enough to take me down in to her chasms of doom. What have I done!

"Raoul! I'm.. I'm s-so sorry! Désolé mon amour! I-I don't know what came over me! Please, forgive me for such cruelty… I know you love me, I have never doubted it for a minute. I.. Please.." she closed her eyes, pondering why she had gone through that transformation. Guilt clouded her thoughts and rained acid upon her heart.

Silence.

Raoul stared without emotion at the woman before him. Quivering in the sudden darkness, begging forgiveness. His expression softened to that of pity. He heaved a sigh, breaking the silence between them. She looked up, her eyes watering over.

"The one possessed with this sin of vanity is not you, but me. For taking what I have and hold so dear to me for granted. You deserve better than me Raoul! Go, marry Meg. Be happy…"

"NO!" Christine was encased suddenly in his soft embrace. She stared at his head, confounded and broken hearted. Their bodies radiated the needed warmth that dissolved when their conflict began, healing the jagged wound in their relationship.

"Don't leave me Christine, you can't! I love you and refuse to let you go! The Father who rules over us is ever forgiving and so I shall follow in his path and forgive those who have done wrong, can you say the same for me?" His voice cracked, as he held back tears. His lips met hers in a passionate kiss till she finally broke the spell that bound them.

"Thank you. I can." She smiled shyly meeting is lips once more.

"Come to bed Christine, you are tired. We will discuss this further in the morning." He stood and helped her to her feet. Christine turned around and undressed, pulling on a cotton night dress.

It's all over and yet is just beginning. Somehow it doesn't feel right, like something's missing. I shouldn't think in to this much further, I'll go insane if I do. Tomorrow I will let my mind wonder, when things are fully sorted out. For now, I'll let this chaos rest… And I will not think about Erik!

She told herself firmly. She would never admit it to herself, but she still loved Erik with a burning passion, still needed him by her side, still thrived off his very existence. Still felt incomplete without her angel. Little knives drew slits in the core of soul, but she ignored the pain, concentrating on Raoul, who sat up right, waiting.

She sighed, wishing the dull ache that settled in her gut would vanish. The last desperate flickering glow of a candle died, leaving them in a dark silence. An arm snaked around her waist casually and rested it's weight on her, going slack. Deep snores drowned from Raoul's throat, little drops of spittle leaking out the side of his mouth.

Oh dear lord! He sounds as if he's setting off an explosive! It's a wonder if I'd ever sleep tonight. Oh well, might as well try…

Behind closed lids, images of suffocating Raoul to save the peace became almost irresistible until she drove herself to open balcony to stop her harsh motives. The balcony stretched far out in to the night, a few potted plants sat dying in the coroners.

The cold bit her skin through her thing cotton nightgown. Shivering, she sat down on the edge, smoothing her skirts in comfort to the hollow feeling that was taking over her.

"Angel in heaven blessed,

My spirit longs with me to rest!"

She mouthed the last words as her tears broke free, her little melody dying in the silence. Little beads found there way into the crevice of her lips and mingled unpleasantly with metallic taste of blood. Sobs threatened to escape, but were reluctantly held back by better judgment. If Raoul were to awake to find her weeping for her ex-love, she didn't even want to know what would happen.

Instead, she let her loss shine on her cheeks in immodest sorrow. Her cheek still throbbed from Raoul's merciful slap, sending little daggers through her mind until a dull headache began to form. In her mind she relished the hit, all her pain and emotion climaxing to that one point where it could no longer restrain the agonizing fire that burned deep within the very core of her broken soul.

"Erik!" she whispered breathlessly to the tree branch that lazily brushed by her ear. Mentally scolding herself for her inability to realize that Erik was never coming back, she once again felt the emptiness, the black hole start to take over her, sending her in to the hollow state of mind she found herself when she thought of her father. Except, this feeling was deeper than fatherly love, much deeper.

Although she couldn't tell.

Oh mon ange, I'll never forget you, I never will. It's impossible, literally impossible. Father in heaven, bring him sanctuary. Erase me from his endless mind and help him find faith. He needs you right now. Save him, my lost love? Friend? I don't know what to call him any more… Save my… Save my companion.

The last glittering, smooth tear, streaked down her face like melting ice. Soft words found the way to her lips, laced with her rich voice she began to pay homage to her beloved music teacher.

"You were once
my one companion . . .
you were all
that mattered . . .
You were once
a friend and phantom -
then our world was shattered. . .

Wishing you were
somehow here again . . .
wishing you were
somehow near . . .
Although you've been deemed

King of my dreams,

Time shows us friend ship is clear . . .

Wishing I could
hear your voice again . . .
knowing that I
never would . . .
Dreaming of you
won't help me to do
all that you dreamed
I could . . .

Porcelain masks

and sculpted angels,
cold but sentimental,
seemed, for you,
the - hopeless champion
you were warm and gentle . . .

Too many years
fighting back tears . . .
Why can't the past
just die . . .?

Wishing you were
somehow here again . . .
knowing we must
say goodbye . . .
Wished he'd forgive. . .
Help us to live,
give him the strength
to try . . .

No more memories,
just wingless flights. . .
No more gazing across
the passionate nights. . .
Help me say
goodbye.

Help me say

Good bye!"

Her voice rose and grazed the gates to heaven as the whole house woke up to here her last, anguished note. All her grief was thrust into her song, forcing her smooth whisper to be transformed into a passionate rapture for the soul and body. All was silent. Every one was wide awake, too stunned, too moved to move.

The voice of the immortal had spoken. It poisoned them with her depressed melodies, showed them how it felt to be lost and not even know it. Raoul glared at the balcony, mentally forcing Christine to stop, wishing that the pitiless music would die and release him from it's damned tortures. But when it did finish on her soft note, he wished it would never stop. The harshness of her beauty was overwhelming.

She really does love that.. thing. This hold he has on her will never break, will never cease it's insistent pleas! Will she ever truly give me a piece to her heart?

Perhaps now I can put your memory to rest angel.

Pale moonlight stretched across her tear stained cheek, reflecting the black pits in her eyes, now traced with a warm light. One that would fade with break of dawn…

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Meanwhile, Erik sat below the balcony, starring awe struck at the dull gray stone as if he were in a trance. Blue flames danced in his eyes, undimmed by the icy darkness. Fat wet drops fell from them, glistening on the rims of his mask. Bile rose in his throat and his insides quaked. She had not been the heartless whore he hoped her. Far from it in fact, she had loved him, and not just for his touch.

"Wondering child,

so lost, so helpless,

Yearning for my guidance."

The thorn of the red rose he held in his hand bit into the soft flesh of his palm. Gritting his teeth, he dove it deeper within the skin, a thin trail of blood oozing out. Little shots of pain ran through his hand until he was fully content. Maddening betrayal glowed fresh in his eyes, spreading livid throughout his body. Another tear slid down his face as guilt prodded at his mind.

I could never accuse my ange of something so distasteful. She could never harm someone like that.

In a way she did though. A small, logical voice in the back of his mind spoke.

But she loved me. She didn't do it just out of lust, especially when the man she desires is a monster.

If she loved you, why did she leave you? Again? Piped up the mocking voice.

Because… I am the ange of mort.(death) Because no one can truly love this pitiful excuse for a human being. An insult to the race. Because I cannot give her everything she truly requires. For the first time in a while, Erik gave in.

Minutes turned into hours, the silence deafening. The pain seeped into his heart, poisoning it with her betrayal. The pain turned into something less complex, hate. Every tiny inch of Christine, every part of her was damned in his mind. He still loved her, but hated her just as much.

Pocketing the rose, he gave Christine one last glance before gapping in horror. Flying from his crouched position, he leaped into the air frantically. She fell into his arms, knocking him in to the thorn bushes. Little thorns ripped into his flesh like needles and a low growl emitted from his throat.

Foolish girl! You could have killed yourself! Fear ebbed away and left him with a feeling, reminding him some what of peace. Christine stirred in his arms, apparently unaffected by the fall. She was feather light, a pale goddess in the moon light. If he could only…

"No!" He dropped Christine on to the ground and fled not caring to give a backward glance.

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"Where the bloody hell am I!" She moaned lifting a sleepy eye. The sun shone brightly on her eyes mercilessly. She shut it tightly, breathing the heavy aroma of the grass.

Smart Christine, go and fall off the bloody ledge! How clever… And you didn't even wake up when you hit the ground! That is just pathetic… Or did I wake? She raked her brain; nothing.

Brilliant… Scolding herself, she lifted her body off the dew wet ground. A big green stain splotched her side and a purple bruise was forming on her elbow.

"Damnable sun…" Shielding her eyes, she trudged back to the front door.

"Oh this morning is bound to be a bloody blast!" She yelled at the locked door knob exasperatedly.

This should be fun to explain… She slammed her tiny fist against the great oak door. Several minutes passed, with some explicit muttering, with no answer. She tried again, only harder. All was quite. Frustration boiled up in her stomach, making her every bit as frightening as a psychotic murderer. She punched the door until her knuckles began to bleed.

Why aren't they answering! It's past dawn, at least one servant should be here! Storming over to the balcony, she shouted softly so as not to wake the neighbors.

"Raoul! Please wake up! I'm in a bit of a rut! Raoul!"

More loud snores echoed from above. Growling, she called again, and again, and even threw rocks and other objects to wake him up, but he snored on.

How can you sleep through that! How can a maid…

"Oh yes, I gave them the day off."

Brilliant…Sighing, she gave in, walking around the entire household, trying to find a way to enter.

"The day they don't forget to lock a door is the day I fall off the balcony!" Muttering obscenities, she fell deep into thought. It looked to be early in the morning, around 5 or 6, meaning Raoul, who slept in as late as possible on the weekends, would not wake for hours. Climbing up the balcony was out of the question, it was too high and the vines she could climb on were dying. No good would come from sitting around on the porch, what would the neighbors say? The last thing the De Changy family needed was another juicy rumor going around about corruption of linage.

Sighing, she thrust her head in her hands. She was cold, wet and PMSing. This day wasn't going to be as good as she thought it was. She collapsed under the balcony in defeat, her fists clenching and unclenching. After a while, she began singing, ever so softly, gradually growing louder but not loud enough that she could be easily heard. Although her body shook with the cold, a small burst of warmth erupted in her gut. Closing her eyes, she let the music take her away.

"Will you give me a reason,

To live another day,

Will you show me the courage to rise above it all,

Will you be there for me when I am down,

Will you make it better…"

"Christine! What in the name of the lord are you doing out here?"

A/n: all right, this last part was a little weird, but I couldn't help it! Something weird always has to happen in these things. I am very sorry for not updating sooner, things have been hectic. I promise I'll get the next chapter out much sooner. It will be longer and way more interesting too! Roses for reviewers!