Belonging

My head feels like it's on the verge of exploding, teetering on the edge, just waiting for one unexpected noise or sudden movement to set it off. I feel like my brain is fried from all of the information and personalities I've been privy to over the last few days. While I've been out in the world, running and hiding to keep Mia safe, these people have been living and loving and fighting, carving out their own little place at the end of the world. That, or everyone down here is crazy and I'm just desperately clinging to any semblance of sanity. But everyone I spoke to seems happy – ridiculously, obnoxiously so; it makes me wonder if I shouldn't just wave goodbye to good sense and drink the kool-aid with the rest of these cave people.

The day after speaking with Wanda, I'm picking at the remains of my dinner and distracted by all of these thoughts ricocheting around my skull, when Jeb sidles up next to me.

"I hear you've been busy," he says quietly.

"Well, you're the one who said I needed to talk to all these people." I know I probably sound petulant, but I'm still a bit blindsided from the ambush of Stryders and O'Sheas yesterday. And by the chaos that is Melanie, who showed up toting a human-alien-human baby that no one thought to mention to me. It's safe to say all of this has left me feeling a little testy towards my fellow man.

Jeb just nods though, his eyes fixed on the smoke rising from the oven, swirling upwards into the darkening sky above us. "I surely did," he agrees.

"How old is Eamon?" I ask eventually, keeping my voice pitched low and quiet, as if my words could disturb the peace of the moment if they became too loud.

If he's surprised that I'm aware of the baby's existence, Jeb doesn't show it. He purses his lips and squints, as though trying to suss out a difficult math problem. Who knows, maybe in the caves, something like time and age is just as difficult to keep track of as it is on the outside. "A few months," he finally answers. "This last raid was the first Wanda and Ian'd gone on since he was born. I wouldn't've asked, but we were getting low on a lot of things that only she can get for us."

"Who watches the baby then, when they go?" The question slips out before I even realize I'm curious about the answer.

"Anyone, really," Jeb says, continuing his perusal of the kitchen. His focus has shifted to the cracks in the ceiling. "It'd be Mel and Jared if they didn't go along. Trudy, Lily...sometimes I get a turn," he says with a grin. "I think it was Sunny this last time."

I let that information sit for a few minutes, picturing the baby with a human father and an alien-mother-in-a-human-body being passed around and cared for by all the members of this strange community of refugees. These rebels...these humans.

My people.

And just like that, I know I can't leave this place.

I'm not sure if it's because of the baby – Eamon, my brain immediately provides, picturing the gleefully predatory expression on Melanie's face as she strode up to Wanda and I – or if it's just the inevitable surrender to a fight I never had a chance of winning, but I know it's the right choice.

It's the only real outcome of this decision that ever needed to be considered. I can't imagine we were going anywhere, but I needed to come to that understanding on my own. I needed to make the choice for Mia, but for me as well. I owe it to myself to lay down the mantle of protecting my sister on my own, of barely surviving for Mia's sake, and to seize the opportunity to become the man I could be – someone new, maybe someone kinder than the man I am now.

"If you'll have me, I'd like to stay, Jeb," I tell my companion.

There's no excitement, save for a small grin that ticks up the corner of Jeb's mouth. "Figured as much," he replies, his pleased tone spreading a warmth through my chest that feels suspiciously like pride. Jeb suddenly claps his hands together, meeting my eyes for the first time since coming to find me tonight. "C'mon," he says. "I have a treat for you."

I rise and move to follow him out of the kitchen and into the dark corridors that I know I'll have to start navigating on my own, now that I've elected to stay. "What sort of treat?" I ask as we walk. The only sign that he's still there in front of me is his slightly more opaque silhouette moving against the black.

"Sort of a welcome home treat," his voice echoes from a few feet ahead of me. "Been meaning to do one since the raiders got back, but I figure we can just toss y'all in there too."

And so, I follow. I have a sneaking suspicion this will become a common occurrence in my life in the days to come; Jeb will call, and I will answer.

A dim light up ahead gets brighter with each step that brings us closer to our destination, until I'm stumbling across the threshold of the game room and directly into a wall of sound. It takes me a few seconds to process that every single person from the cave system is down here right now, talking, stretching, hollering, socializing.

Some of the men who were away on the raid are standing in a loose circle in the middle of the wide open space, laughing uproariously at something that Jamie appears to have said. Mia stands near him, an easy smile transforming her face into something beautiful and completely foreign to me. I have lived every day of the last decade with only my baby sister for company, and yet I have never, not once, seen her smile like that. If there were any lingering doubts over choosing to remain here, they're swiftly dismissed by that smile on Mia's face.

She catches sight of me, and I watch as she places a hand on Jamie Stryder's arm and leans in to tell him something before making her way over to me. So it's like that, evidently. I have to wonder what Mia has been up to while I've been making the rounds on get-to-know-the-alien duty.

She's breathless with barely contained excitement by the time she reaches me, bouncing up on her toes. "Hey!" She greets me. "Jamie says we're playing soccer! Isn't that great?"

I can't help the smirk that climbs up my face. "Jamie, huh?" I tease.

"Oh my God, shut up, Henry!" she snaps, sounding dangerously like Melanie.

I laugh, and it feels good. It feels like an exhale I didn't even know I was holding. I think it may have been this feeling I was searching for – hoping for – in each conversation I've had over the last few days.

"Yes," I allow, smiling back at my sister for the first time in years. "Soccer will be fun." I pause for a moment, suddenly nervous that I should have checked with Mia before I so readily consented to us staying here amongst strangers. But maybe they aren't strangers anymore, and perhaps they haven't been strangers to Mia for a while now. Maybe it was just me who was holding back, afraid to pull my walls down and let the light into our lives. "Mia...you want to stay here, right?" I tentatively ask.

Her eyes widen with hesitant glee. "Of course I do!" she squeaks. "Henry – Henry, are we staying?"

I smile again, and nod once. Before I can say anything else, Mia shrieks and jumps into my arms, squeezing me with a strength I wasn't even aware she had. I chuckle, setting her on her feet and giving her a gentle shove back towards the group she was talking with before. "Go warm up, kid," I tell her. "Make sure we don't embarrass ourselves so badly we get kicked out before we even settle in." She giggles, and it's a joyous sound that makes me suddenly wish my parents were here to see us. They deserve to know that Mia made it, that we're both still human. The thought is sad, but it noticeably lacks the deluge of swift, hot anger that usually accompanies it. It feels nice to think that perhaps one day it won't be there at all.

Without even deciding to do so, my eyes slowly search out the people who my whole world has revolved around lately. Jamie is pulling his leg up to stretch it out as he chats amiably with Mia once again; Kyle is nearby, boisterously talking to one of the other guys from the raid, his arm slung loosely over the shoulder of a wispy girl with dark curly hair. Suddenly, she looks up at Kyle, and her eyes catch the light from one of the solar lanterns. Silver reflections burst out, glittering against the wall and flashing bright light into the eyes of the man Kyle's speaking with.

But nothing happens.

The other man raises a hand to block the silvery lights, and pivots his body slightly to avoid being blinded again. Kyle's speech is uninterrupted, and the only other acknowledgement of the incident is one of his hands lifting to run absently through the alien's curls.

I realize this must be Sunny, or Sunlight something something Ice? Doesn't matter, Jeb said she likes Sunny just fine. She's a tiny thing, dwarfed entirely by Kyle, but there's an easiness between the two of them that belies any of the rage and aggressiveness that Wanda described him as once having.

Melanie appears in the crowd, looking like the sharp edge of a knife and moving like a snake through the people dumb enough to stand between her and her destination; her movements are determined and confident, reflecting her firm assurance of her place in the world. Without a doubt, she would be willing to snap her teeth at anyone if they got too close.

I watch as she shoulder-checks a woman with flaming red hair, sending her skidding a good few feet before she's able to catch herself. The woman scowls, but Melanie doesn't even look back.

She's locked on her target, which appears to be Ian, Wanda, and Jared, who are standing together at the far edge of the makeshift soccer field. Ian is holding baby Eamon, unconsciously shifting his weight back and forth as he talks to the others. Wanda is giggling, and shakes her head at something Jared says. When Melanie reaches them, she comes up behind Wanda and wraps her arms around the smaller girl's shoulders, resting her chin on top of Wanda's head. The flow of conversation never once pauses, the four of them so at ease with their dynamic that the only acknowledgement of Melanie's interruption is Ian raising his chin in greeting, Wanda reaching up to run her hand along the length of Melanie's arm, and the widening of Jared's smile.

"Let's get going, y'all!" Jeb's voice breaks through the din, calling the room to order. When there's finally a beat of quiet that lasts longer than a breath, he continues speaking. "Now, just want to say welcome home to the raiders. As always, the risks y'all take will keep us fed and in good health for many days to come, and we all appreciate everything you do for us. Right, y'all?" His words are pointed, and his gaze flicks over to the red-headed woman Melanie tried to bulldoze earlier and an older woman who looks like she could be Jeb's sister. When no one says anything, Jeb calls out again, his voice notably louder, "Right, y'all?"

There's a disjointed chorus of Yes, Jebs that seem to satisfy the man for the time being. "Also," he begins again. "I'd like to formally welcome Henry and Mia, who have decided to stay on with us." There are the same jumbled responses as before, except they're all some form of welcome and glad to have you.

I can't help but flick my gaze back over to the group I was just observing, anxious to see their reactions to my decision. But it seems Jeb's announcement has occurred simultaneously with some sound of distress from Eamon, because all four of them are crowded around the squalling infant held in Ian's grip. Wanda reaches for him, but Melanie's longer arms allow her to get there first, snatching up the bundle of flailing arms and legs before Ian even notices her. I watch as he rolls his eyes, pulling his wife towards him now that his hands are free. He lifts up the much-smaller Wanda, clutching her against his chest and kissing her soundly for all to see. Jared reaches for Eamon, but Melanie dances out of his grasp, a manic grin on her face as she murmurs to the child in her arms. When he finally gets ahold of her, Jared leans in to kiss the side of her head, whispering something in her ear. She tilts her head to rest against his, her eyes sliding shut as a small closed-mouth smile softens her face. He whispers something else, and Melanie's eyes snap open like she's just scented blood. I think I can just make out the words you're on, from this distance on her lips. She swiftly returns to Wanda and Ian, somehow strong-arming Wanda away from the much larger man without jostling Eamon at all. She pulls Wanda away with her, speaking rapidly as she leans in very close to her face. After a moment, Wanda whips her head around, her gaze immediately locking on Jared in a movement oddly reminiscent of Melanie, the two women moving like mirror images of each other without seeming to realize it. When Jared notices that he's been sighted by Wanda, he just shrugs, leaning in to say something as an aside to Ian. The dark-haired man claps him on the shoulder and says something that sounds like you'll never sleep again in the odd acoustics of this room.

Jeb's been speaking this entire time, and Mia's grinning like a lunatic so I assume it's been in reference to the two of us staying, so I feel slightly idiotic and creepy that I've been focusing on the four people across the room instead of paying attention to the man in charge of the community I just joined up with. But his loud voice calling out, "Teams, y'all!" brings me back to Earth.

"Ian and Kyle as captains!" someone yells.

Kyle tosses a smirk at his brother, who has somehow managed to wrestle his child back from Melanie and looks irked at having been named captain without his say. "They can't handle us, Ian!" Kyle hollers. "Fine, peasants! One day the O'Sheas will be on the same team once again, and you'll rue the day you separated us!" I can see Ian roll his eyes in response to his brother's antics before cracking a small smile.

Ian passes Eamon off to Wanda, his grin teasing and relaxed as he leans in close to her and speaks quietly. She shakes her head, a melodic laugh escaping her mouth as she adjusts the squirming baby in her arms. He bends down to kiss her once more before jogging away, shoving his brother in the shoulder as he comes to a stop next to him. Kyle smacks a loud kiss of his own on Sunny's cheek and she reaches out to squeeze Ian's arm as she turns to go, making her way to the sidelines that have been marked by stones and other detritus. As she passes by me, she flicks her gaze up my way, her eyes once again catching the glow from the lanterns and sending glittering reflections of light across my skin. She offers me a tight smile before dropping her eyes to the floor and moving quickly away from me.

It feels less frightening each time I see it.

When I look back up, Kyle is watching me, a warning clear on his face. I look away, watching as Melanie and Wanda continue their whispered conversation, speaking rapidly to one another, their foreheads practically touching. Kyle calls out Jared's name, claiming him for his team; Jared then swoops down to grind his face into the side of Melanie's neck, causing her to squeal indignantly at the feel of it. When he emerges, Jared squeeze's Wanda's shoulder and runs a hand through Eamon's hair. Ian calls out to Melanie next, and she leans in, kissing first Wanda and then the baby soundly on each of their cheeks. As she approaches Ian, she grumbles something unintelligible and he just shrugs before telling her something that sounds like, I live to serve. As other names are called and the teams begin to fill out, I watch Melanie and Jared pretend to shit-talk each other, each making their bodies bigger in a parody of sports players of the past.

"Alright, new girl!" Kyle yells over the noise of the crowd. "Let's see what you're made of!"

Mia jumps up, running over to Kyle's team and lifting her hand to smack the one he's holding up to her with a welcoming smile.

"Henry!" I hear. It's Ian, waving me over to join his team. "You're with me!"

As I start my slow walk over, Melanie shoots me a death glare, but when she leans up to whisper heatedly into his ear, Ian shakes her off and says to her, "I will call your keeper over if you can't behave, Stryder."

I honestly expect him to motion Jared over, but the two of them instead turn to glance at Wanda, who's walking towards the sidelines behind me.

When Melanie shifts her gaze back to me, she raises her voice and says, "Just don't fuck this up for me, new guy! My future children are riding on the outcome of this game!"

Jared scoffs and rolls his eyes, but I think I catch a blush crawling across the back of his neck as he moves away into the crowd.

Wanda's path intersects with mine, and after the chaos of the last hour, her calm presence is oddly welcome. Or, it doesn't make me want to puke with anxiety, at any rate. I'll count that as a marked improvement any day.

"Don't mind them," she offers quietly, pausing to lean in closer to me when our paths converge. "Melanie is just...invested in this game. If you guys win, she'll be forever…. Well, not nice to you, but certainly less threatening towards you."

I bark out a loud laugh at her words, because I can't think of a more accurate assessment of Melanie's general attitude towards me than that. Perhaps less threatening is the most I can hope for from her.

"I'm glad you've decided to stay," she says, her voice gentle.

"Me too," I agree. "You...you said a lot that made sense to me; it made a difference." She smiles widely at what I've just said, and subtly moves her weight from hip to hip to keep Eamon settled.

My attention is drawn to the large group in front of me as the teams begin to move to opposite sides of the playing field. With the addition of Mia and I, there are forty-five humans here, as well as two aliens who seem perfectly content to make their home amongst the savages. And according to Wanda and the others, there are more out there. This isn't the end of the world, not yet at least.

Wanda glances over her shoulder and follows my gaze to the group of rowdy humans about to play a game of soccer, deep in an underground network of caverns, far from prying eyes and the revealing glare of the sun.

"This is a strange place," I say, my voice teasing as I breathe in the optimism that fills the air like oxygen.

There's a fond smile on her face when Wanda looks up at me. "The strangest," she agrees. After a moment, she starts walking again, but calls back over her shoulder, "Welcome home, Henry."