The Echo
Chapter 2: Waterfalls

"Besaid, up ahead!" a sailor called out. Other sailors answered him with a laugh.

"Home again, and thankful for it!" another one answered. I sat quietly on the stairs near the bow, staring out at the small outline of island that had appeared upon the horizon. It seemed that I was the only one who was not happy to coming back. Oh, I pretended to be excited about returning to Besaid, but I wasn't. The moment I'd gotten on and looked into Gippal's lonely, sad eyes… I'd wanted off. But I hadn't moved, and now, here I was, my daughter asleep in my arms, returning to the little island I'd imprisoned myself on nearly six months ago.

After I'd retrieved my belongings from the cabin I shared with Yuna, I returned to the deck, watching as we pulled into the harbor. I was silent as the others chatted, staring out at the sand on the beach. The Aurochs joined us on the deck, and the din only worsened. My hands were shaking, I realized, and I busied them with straightening Telan's clothing. As the crew began to busy themselves with the riggings, I moved quietly to the back of the ship, staring out at the open ocean.

Why am I so stupid? I asked myself, my eyes stuck on the trail we'd left in the surf. Telan's little fingers wrapped around my hair, and I softly pulled it from her grip, letting her hold my index finger, instead. I closed my eyes as I felt the familiar stinging behind them, warning me of tears. I kissed her little fingers softly, leaning my forehead against hers as I took a deep, steadying breath. Her hand tightened around my finger. How could I take her away from him

I faced away from the harbor as we sailed into it, but once the ramp was lowered, I had no choice but to depart, to take to the land once more.

I took great care not to jostle Telan as I walked onto the dock. Yuna waited for me, watching me carefully. Wakka had my bags, and Lulu waited for the three of us at the end of the dock, as the men trudged off along the beach toward the village. I approached her tentatively and gave her a smile.

"I'm glad to be back…"

I nodded, my fake smile still on. "Me too." How could I lie to others so easily? How could I lie to myself so easily? The two of us walked to the end of the dock slowly. Lulu wasn't watching me as closely as she could have. "Where's Paine?"

"She went ahead to the village." Lulu patted Vidina on the back. I grinned; both children were asleep, tired from the long boat trip.

As we reached the sand, I kicked off my shoes and bent to pick them up. I'd always loved the feel of the sand between my toes; it comforted me, if only just a bit. Evening was setting in, the sun sinking in the sky. "Tazy ji, silr?" I said quietly, my hair streaming behind me in the wind.

Yuna glanced at me, a confused expression on her face. "Fryd tu oui sayh?" she asked, following my gaze to the sky.

I shook my head quietly. "I'll meet the two of you at the village, alright?"

Yuna sighed heavily and glanced at Lulu, who nodded. "Do you want me to take Telan?" she asked quietly, motioning toward her sleeping figure.

"No, that's okay. I just want to watch the sunset." The three of us went our different ways, Lulu and Yuna to the pass that led to the village, and me to the waterline. Carefully, I sat on the wet sand, the water lapping about my legs.

It was warm here. I remember being thankful for that, for the sunlight, for the island's incessant calm. But now, I wasn't thankful. I longed for somewhere cold, where the water was freezing, where the rain came down without falter. Or maybe I didn't even long for the place… maybe I longed for the idea of it. I waited until the sun had fallen nearly to the horizon line, and then I stood, making my way across the beach and toward the path, guided by the long shadows of the evening.

I stared out over the ocean, relaxed for the moment in the cool breeze, the mist of the waterfalls behind me creating a light mist. I took a deep breath and simply basked in the silence, risking a glance at Telan.

She'd been crying on and off all morning, something that startled most everyone… everyone but me. "She was so quiet in Luca!" they'd protest. But I hadn't been awake but for three days in Luca, and so I really had no idea. She'd been crying on and off all week, actually. But it was normal to me, despite what the others thought. Babies cried… and I dealt with it. In my spare time during the last week, I'd made a little seat for her, something that made it easier for me to carry her around in. When she'd begun to squall once more at noon, I left the village, with Telan strapped into her little carry seat, and I'd come here. The sound of the waterfall must have lulled her to sleep. Nothing I did could have.

I leaned against the dirt wall of the cliff, my eyes closed. Quiet… I'd finally discovered that I liked it. I always was the loud one… but it felt good to just be quiet for once. An hour had passed since Telan had fallen asleep… I needed to get all the silence I could before she woke up. Slowly, hesitantly, I moved toward the edge of the rock, my legs hanging over the edge of the waterfall, lost in the current, my hair blowing about freely in the breeze.

"Your hair looks really good when it's down." I jumped at the voice and looked behind me. I barely cared that I'd almost fallen from the tallest waterfall on Besaid. I only cared that the quiet remained. But still, she slept. I glared up at the figure on the bridge.

"Be quiet, please, you have no idea how long it took me to… nevermind." I shook my head and turned back to the ocean, looking out over the water, as Tidus jumped down beside me.

"The munchkin finally went to sleep, hm?" he asked, looking into the carry seat with an affectionate glance. "She's like you… too much energy."

I groaned softly and leaned my head back against the wall. "I just wish she wouldn't cry so often, you know? But, then again, she's a baby. That's what babies do."

He frowned momentarily, before hanging his legs off the rock, watching as the water fell away to the ocean below. "You sound exhausted."

"No, I'm not exhausted," I said, a bit too quickly. He smirked, an expression not unlike Gippal's own, and I turned away, staring off in the same direction over the ocean that I had been staring at for the past hour. "I'm just… I don't know. Stupid."

"How are you stupid?"

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, a small smirk on my lips. "You must be stupid if you don't understand why I'm stupid."

"Don't go and insult me!" With a small smile on his lips, he followed my gaze over the ocean. "You know… you shouldn't have come to Besaid, Rikku."

"… I had to."

"No you didn't. Maybe before you felt like you had to, but this time you came because you're stubborn. You're stubborn, and you're scared to let things change."

I shook my head, too stubborn to admit to my own… stubbornness. "I like change. I do."

"Only when you're asking for it." He pointed out over the ocean, towards Djose. "You are staying here, alone, miserable. You're making things worse for everyone around you, Rikku. Why can't you see that?" His voice was agitated, a tone that he rarely took.

"Because I don't want to see it!" I said in frustration, burying my face in my knees. He was quiet; my hair billowed around me in the breeze. I turned to him, my cheek still resting on my knees as I stared at him miserably. "But that's exactly the point you were trying to make, isn't it?"

He nodded slowly and I leaned my head on his shoulder, needing the comfort of a friend. We were quiet for a long while. Then, I sighed heavily and looked up at him questioningly. "You really think my hair looks good when it's down?" I asked, curious.

He laughed, and I grinned widely, giggling a bit myself. "Yeah, I do." Our laughter filled the little hollow beneath the bridge as we momentarily focused on my stupid question rather than on my stupidity.

But it ended when a loud cry came from the baby carry seat. I froze and stared back at Telan momentarily. With a last glance toward Djose, I turned to pick her up. Tidus caught my eyes, and I held his gaze. He broke the silent exchange and reached over to Telan, picking her up to soothe her. And as I watched him do my job, I felt sick with guilt.

I looked on as Tidus spun Yuna around by the fire that evening, dipping her to the ground. She shrieked as her hair grazed the ground, making those nearest to them laugh. It never failed to amaze me that the entire village turned out for the bonfire, night after night, as if every day were a day of celebration. It was a tradition, I knew, something that had kept hope alive during the days of Sin's wrath.

I looked toward the gates, into the darkness beyond them. I remembered the evening I'd come through that darkness and paused beyond the gates, watching the joyful dancing and communing of the islanders. I'd never admitted it, but that night, I'd felt like an outsider. In a way… I still did.

The temple stood beyond, serene in all its ancient majesty. I once believed that Besaid was a ridiculous place to put a temple. Now I understood the reason it had been placed here, the reason Besaid was the starting point of the pilgrimage road. Besaid was a place of hope, consistency, and longevity. It was calm, even on a stormy day. So very different than Kilika, the island of fire, which held the temple that could light the summoners' soul. So different than icy Macalania, a frozen tundra which was home to an aeon forbidding and yet serene, just like the landscape. It was different than the ruins at Baaj, a scorned place that sheltered the most terrifying aeon of all, and the most terrifying history. Remiem Temple, in the Calm Lands, was a calm place, unhurried, unchanged by the years. The Temple of the Stolen Fayth was hidden away, rewarding only to those who persevered, those who challenged themselves. Bevelle was grand, powerful, as had been Bahamut. Djose… placed at the point of the journey at which the going got tough, stormy and unforgiving, but beautiful in its own right.

I decided that whoever had put the temples in their places was smart… surely smarter than me. The summoner that had started their journey from Besaid was smart as well, journeying along a path that continued to drive people onward, though difficult enough to take those who weren't determined.

But even in understanding the temples, the cities, in understanding the workings of Spira, I still could not understand myself. I could decipher the wiring systems in a transportation vehicle of any sort within minutes, but I didn't understand my own emotions, my own wiring. It was frustrating.

The fire gave off a loud crack, and I felt Telan jump in fright. She began to cry, and I immediately tried to calm her. "It's okay, Telan, Mama's got you. It was just a scary noise, don't worry…"

Lulu looked over at me from across the fire when she heard Telan's cries. I was sitting alone on one of the logs. I met her gaze and shook my head, telling her that I didn't need any help. The fire cracked again, sparks flying into the air, scaring my daughter even more. I stood and hurried into Tidus' hut (which I'd been staying in since I first came to Besaid months before). I draped her over my shoulder and fingered her blonde hair, trying to calm her. Her little fist wrapped around a strand of my hair.

Five minutes had passed, and she'd barely calmed at all. Lulu and Yuna came into the hut together. I looked up at Lulu with wide eyes, the calm I'd felt while contemplating the temples gone.

"The fire scared her… I got her away from it as quick as I could, I just… she… she's scared." I didn't even notice as I began to repeat myself. "I got away from it before it could scare her too badly, I just… she'll be fine, she's just scared."

Yuna and Lulu glanced at one another momentarily, as I continued to babble. Then, Lulu came to me and plucked Telan from my arms. I stopped chattering, and stared at her as she began to walk into the main room of the hut. "I was fine, Lu, she's just scared! Give her back!"

She stopped and looked back at me, a strange emotion filling her eyes. I barely recognized it as concern. "She won't calm down unless the person holding her is calm. I had to learn that the hard way. Let me try, okay?" She didn't wait for my permission, but instead pulled the linen that acted as a door shut as she left the room.

I sat back on the bed, slightly angered, and slightly relieved. Yuna sat next to me, concern in her eyes. I looked her straight in the eyes. "Why won't anyone let me take care of my own baby? Do I look… incapable, or something?"

"No, no, you just haven't adjusted yet."

"I'll never adjust unless people allow me to start taking care of her on my own! Why the hell can't you people understand that?" I began to pace around my tiny room, watching the doorway, listening as the cries began to lessen in volume, a flare of jealousy running through me.

"We're just trying to look out for you, Rikku… you're only eighteen, you know, you're still recovering, and you're trying to do this alone. You need help, and she's been awfully fussy since we left Luca…"

"I can do this by myself!" I yelled, whirling to face her. She was shocked, but she recovered quickly.

"No, Rikku, you can't." She stood and left the room, joining Lulu in the main room.

I stood frozen as the linen rustled in the wind, listening to their indecipherable whispering. Suddenly, I felt drained, dizzy… exhausted. As I lay back on my bed, I admitted it.

I was lying to myself again, and I didn't seem to be able to stop.

I hope you all liked this chapter! Thanks so much for reading and for all the reviews! As always, thanks to FairyIce for editing and contributing all kinds of brilliant ideas, for all of the advice! I appreciate it to no end! Please Review!