Author's Notes: I don't own Card Captor Sakura. Dedicated to Felyn Grace Jabonita. I'm so proud of you…and I mean it…promise! And this is my promise to you that I will never break!

It was December 31 as I will give the pictures to Oniichan Eriol. Oneesan insist that I really need to give the pictures to him even though he doesn't want to. She said just a simple remembrance. Oniichan agreed that we'll meet that Saturday. But Oneesan went out of town again…as usual. I was in Tomoeda Mall inside their supermarket. Okaasan wants me to buy little ingredients for the food she made. The line was so long in the cashier and it was already five in the afternoon. Oniichan and I agreed that we'll meet at five but he didn't text me yet. So it was okay. After I bought everything I needed I went to Odyssey to look for a blank tape. Still Oniichan didn't text me yet. When at last after five minutes I received a message from him: Little sis. I'm coming! Please wait for me!

I text him that I'm going to wait for him in the food court. Since it was boring in Odyssey I went to the food court and sat down to wait for him.

He arrived past six as he sat at the other side of the bench. He smiled and said "Sorry little sis., it took me so long to get here. I slept". I gave a slight laugh.

"I'm sorry Oniichan". He shook his head.

"It's nothing", he replied. I get the envelope from my bag. What's inside in the envelope was a letter from Oneesan Eediah and the pictures.

"Here. But I want you to open it when you get home. Not now okay Oniichan?" I said. He nodded, smiled and put the letter inside his bag.

"Little sis., I can't stay long because Mom wants me to buy some fruits near Metro", he said. I nodded as I stood up.

"Okay then". We went down on the escalator and out of Tomoeda Mall as he waits for me to ride a jeepney again. I looked at my watch and it's still early. "Oniichan can I come with you?" he looked at me, shocked.

"Your Mom might be looking for you". I shook my head.

"Oniichan it's still early and besides…we don't usually see and hang-out each other right?" I said. He gave a wry smile and said.

"Are you sure you want to come with me?" I nodded as we started walking, his hand on my shoulder again. I feel protected by him, treating me as a little sister. I really want to have a real Oniichan. If I'll be given the chance I want my Oniichan will be Eriol.

We we're talking of different things along the way…what's his part time job, what's going on with his love life. Anything that I just want to ask. When we get to the food stand he bought oranges only .There we're many fruits his Mom wants to buy for him but he only bought oranges. I sweat dropped. He forgot immediately. "You want an orange little sis.?" He asked. I was supposed to decline but he gave one to me. "Here". I took it gratefully.

"Thanks Oniichan", I said as I smelled the orange. It smells so good.

"Smells so good huh?" he said out of the blue. I nodded and gave a wry smile, cheeks flushed. He noticed me smelling the orange.

"Sure is", I said as we go back to where we've been. It's beginning to be noisy as people can't wait for the New Year. We we're waiting again to ride a jeepney…actually he's waiting for me to ride a jeepney.

"Little sis., what food did your family prepare for tonight?" he asked as we we're waiting for a jeepney…you know killing time. I tilt my head and thought for a while.

"I only remember potato salad. There we're four dishes actually and somehow I didn't ask my Mom", I replied with a slight laugh.

"Really? Can I just celebrate the New Year in your house?" he asked, I looked at him shocked. But I play along.

"Sure and my Mom will kill me", I said. "Just kidding Oniichan".

"If she will kill you then I'll kill myself too!" I gave a slight laugh and pat his arm.

"Oniichan!" then the jeepney that I was waiting had arrived. I don't want my driver to pick me up anyway. "Bye Oniichan and advance happy New Year!"

"Advance happy New Year little sis. Take care!" he said with a wave. People we're looking at me as I sat down inside the jeepney. I hope they're not thinking he's my boyfriend! They got a wrong impression. Nope! And I wonder when I will see Oniichan Eriol again…

It was our Family day and I was sitting here together with my friend who is playing with my game boy. Fawn is Oniichan Eriol's girlfriend now and she just told me after Valentine's Day or that Valentine's Day…I forgot! Three is a crowd again as I could describe it. The first time I ever felt that "Three is a crowd" is with Sakura and Oniichan Syaoran. Now…Fawn and Oniichan Eriol. I'm happy for Oniichan Eriol actually that he had found his soul mate. Nathaniel knew that I've been crushing Oniichan Eriol and I'm so glad he understands me. But I love Nathaniel than Oniichan Eriol because I only treat Eriol as a brother.

I don't know why my heart feels heavy but like I said love is not selfish. I admit there is still that admiration I keep for Oniichan Eriol until now. I want to cry for the last time. Why? To show that I've already let go of him and to forget him. I may not be physically hurt but half of my heart is crying for him. Sometimes if you like somebody you don't have to expect too much if he will like you back. Much worse…if you love that person.

I know Fawn might be wondering why I just want to talk to her and not to Oniichan Eriol. Why I rather look her in the eyes than his. Why I only say one or two words or a phrase to him. I want to be far away so that this little feeling of mine which is admiration will vanish within me. It took me some time before to forget Oniichan Syaoran now I have to do it all over again to Oniichan Eriol. Sad to say I don't want to hurt him nor my friend Fawn who is in the middle, but I hope she understands that I'm doing this for myself, for my own good. To forget him although memories will stay in me.

Every time I think of the memories long ago that he and I are together and that makes my heart tickles, I only want to shake my head and forget and told myself "Past is past and he has a new life and love now". As I'm watching from the two from afar I can't help but wish also Nathaniel was beside me to feel his love. But he's so far away that I can't reach him. I sighed and hope Oniichan Eriol will forgive me that I didn't talk to him…but I think he doesn't care. And I promise myself if I cry for him once more it just means…I've let him go…and maybe I'll be free.

I realized when we we're not talking, other people knew we we're friends but we weren't. Or maybe we we're strangers at first, crossed our path, became acquaintances, became friends then became strangers again. I don't want to hurt him nor Fawn so I rather hurt myself. It's better this way to forget him even though it's difficult. It was easy to forget Oniichan Syaoran but Oniichan Eriol…I have a hard time! Because he was friend and my inspiration and I just throw it away.

Needless to say I'm sorry but I'm not sorry that I knew you. If it wasn't for you Oniichan Eriol I wouldn't share this story to the whole world how much I admire and love you…BEFORE! Now…everything changes.

I'm so happy only God can read our minds because I'm really going to kill myself if you can read my mind! And I'm happy…you didn't…we human beings couldn't read other people's minds.

Thank you Oniichan Eriol for giving me a chance to love you from a far until Fawn came into your life and Nathaniel came into my life. You don't know how much it means to me.

End