Cuddy ignored him. "I had some visitors in my office today."
House smirked. "Oh wow. That's really fascinating. Please let me know when I should fucking care."
"My visitors were Foreman, Cameron, and Chase. They wanted to talk about you. They're worried. All three said your behavior is beyond erratic and spiraling out of control. You look like hell, you're incoherent. They're afraid you're becoming a danger to the patients and to yourself. And I completely agree. I can't have you in my hospital like this, Greg."
Those words hit him like a sucker punch. Suddenly he was ashamed of being drunk, ashamed that he had let himself get this low, ashamed he had let his fellow doctors down, ashamed that Lisa Cuddy had to see him like this. All he could do was close his eyes and shake his head.
She tried to take his hand. He jerked it out of her grip.
Sighing, she said, "I'm not leaving until we sort this out."
"I'm not leaving", he mimicked. A tiny smile formed and not an ounce of it touched his eyes. "Stacy used to say that to me. I was in the hospital screaming in agony and she said 'I'm not leaving.' Then after the surgery when my leg looked like fucking roadkill, Stacy was still there and she said 'I'm not leaving.' Then I was in a wheelchair, wondering if I would ever walk again, wondering if I would ever be a doctor again. Stacy was by my side saying 'I'm not leaving'." House started pacing again. His cane smacked Cuddy in the leg and she had to move to the doorway. "So, finally I could walk again. Finally I could be a doctor again. I could finally get on with my life. And Stacy left. She was gone. She was fucking gone. She just left without a word. Man, she really blindsided me with that, I can tell you. That was eight years ago tonight."
From the doorway, Cuddy watched as his pacing slowed. The exhaustion and scotch were definitely taking their toll, but she knew him well enough to see he wasn't going down without a knock-down drag-out fight.
"Greg, Stacy is gone. She's not coming back."
"I fucking know that."
"Good. I'm not Stacy. I'm not just going to up and leave. Now can you please stop torturing yourself? Please stop driving yourself crazy!"
The pacing stopped as if a power switch had been turned off. "You have no idea what she did to me," he said softly. "Do me a favor, Lisa. If and when you should decide to leave, at least have the guts to say it to my face."
She walked over from the doorway. "If it ever comes to that, you have my word." This time he let her take his hand. He squeezed hers hard enough to hurt. "Greg, would like me to stay tonight?"
"Yes. Please."