Anne: A fanfic.
"Willow Rosenberg? You may see her now, it's the last door on the left…"I don't know who you are
But you seem very nice
So will you talk to me
Willow peered through the wired-glass window into the small room. After all the work and the searching, it could be an end to it. Or yet another disappointment
Shall I tell you a story?
Shall I tell you a dream?
They think I'm crazy
They'd told her how this girl had been found. "she was wandering, her clothes were torn and bloody, she was babbling, fragments of Spanish and English, names, places; fantastic stories – ridiculous of course..".
But they don't know that I like it here
It's nice in here, I get everything for free
Willow watched the tired empty eyes, searching for one small hint of recognition, one small glint of a person she had once known better than herself. A person who had saved a world and lost herself in the process.
Have you been here before?
Shall I show you around
It's very pretty
She'd asked the doctors if they could go for a walk in the hospitals garden. They'd not been keen. Anne can be violent, they'd said. But they had given in finally and a shambling blonde and a shy redheaded teen had walked together for the first time in months.
Have you come here to stay?
Well, you sure picked a day
My name is Billy
It's my birthday, you're invited to my party down the hall
They were celebrating that day. They always did for the patients who didn't know family or friends or even their own names. They gave them a birthday, gifts and a party and some semblance of normality on the anniversary of the day they'd been admitted, born into their drug induced haze – sometimes they cut the doses, sometimes.
Where I go, what I'll become or who I am or what I'll be
I'll never know, but I am sure that I'll get everything for free
Walking in the sunshine and seeing her friend so shattered was too much. Willow's fragile control broke and she collapsed onto the grass shaking and sobbing. All those nights with no sleep, first phoning friends, then hospitals, and then mental institutions. Watching the daily news, dreading the headlines 'Unidentified Woman found Dead'. Getting nowhere. Then the books and the studies and the desperation. The ransacking of the school library when Giles wasn't looking. Finding that talent, finally finding all those women, all the ones that weren't.
I'm not troubled or sad
A hand touched her hair, stroked it gently. Willow looked up into the vacant eyes of the girl kneeling beside her. There was a concern in that face, fascinated as it was with the play of the sunlight through the leaves, dappling the red strands as they moved under the pale fine boned hand.
I'm just ready for bed
It's been a long day
An orderly called them then. Forgetting herself, as the other girl was distracted by something she called out 'Buffy' as she had so often. And the cracks in her heart tore themselves ever wider.
Before they switch off the lights
It truly was a delight
They think I'm crazy
But they don't know that I like it here
It's nice in here
They'd given her the meds in a little plastic cup. The pills almost filled it to the brim. She remembered the times when they'd been at the sweet shop down the block, picking out treats then laughing and joking that they'd get fat. She gently squeezed the cup and the pills rose and fell with her movement. 'Eat me' they seemed to say. You wont get big or small, but those shards that tear your mind apart will go away for a short while..
Where I go, what I'll become or who I am or what I'll be
I'll never know, but I am sure that I'll get everything for free
She alone knew. The meds disappeared into the sink, flushed away with clear cold water. It took me so much to find her, I wont loose her again! The porcelain of the tiles was cool against her forehead.
Where I go, what I'll become or who I am or what I'll be
I'll never know, but I am sure that I'll get everything for free
Everything for free
They let her stay. She didn't really know why. It just seemed that when she wanted something people just let it happen. They'd set up a folding bed in the patients room. Willow sat there, just watching the other girl as she moved round the room, preparing to sleep, placing the new bracelet, its shell silver moons almost glowing in the harsh electric light, gently on the bedside cabinet.
I don't know who you are
But you seem very nice
So will you talk to me?
Neither of them slept that night. Willow watched, perched across-ways on the rusty steel camp bed – seeing the shine from the outside light reflected – she knew the other girl was awake and gazing back.
Have you been here before?
Well, you sure picked a day
They think I'm crazy
It was probably around three in the morning. Willow awoke with a start, disorientated. Where am I? Then the memories came back and she glanced to the other bed. No-one there. A movement by her side and a smile in the darkness. Then the voice she'd dreamed of. Just one unsure word, but one she'd been so desperate to hear.
"Willow?"
She cried then, and was comforted by the one that was…