The Echo
Chapter 13: Djose

I woke in the morning, finding myself in an unfamiliar bedroom. The bed, I knew… for a moment, I was confused as to why it was in this place, instead of its normal place beneath the tiny window that looked out over the main courtyard of the temple. And then I realized that I was now in Gippal's house.

In Gippal's bed? Hadn't I gone to sleep next to Telan's crib? How in the hell had I gotten here? And where was Gippal, anyway?

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, smiling softly as I remembered that it had always been a little taller than would allow my feet to touch the ground. I slid off it and glanced at the plain crib that sat on the opposite wall as I made my way to the bathroom. When my glance slid to the mirror, I made a face. My hair was everywhere, and I looked horrible. I cautiously walked down the hall, peering into the living room. No one was there, but blankets remained sprawled on the couch. I returned to Telan's room and walked over to the crib. All that was inside was a note.

At the temple. Took baby with me. Office is open.

-Gippal

With a sigh, I located the towels and took a quick shower, relaxing for the first time since I'd arrived under the hot water. When I opened my bags to look for clothing, I smiled when I saw my old work clothes folded carefully near the bottom. I was tempted to put them on, but instead, I opted for a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, and left the familiar pair of faded overalls tucked at the bottom of the travel bag.

There was a light mist floating in the air once I got outside. I made my way toward the temple slowly, basking in the cool temperatures that I associated with this place, in the feelings that I associated with this place… basking in this place. I'd only realized when I'd left it just how much I loved Djose. I loved it as much as I loved Besaid, my home away from home. Maybe more.

I entered the temple, the familiar echoes of machinery and Al Bhed shouting filling my ears. I walked past the workrooms, my fingers itching to hold a wrench as I watched the other mechanics at work. And then I saw a sight that made my heart melt.

Gippal was kneeling next to a teenager, just a few years younger than the two of us (as strange as that seemed), showing him the angles that would be best for part installations. Telan was wide awake on his shoulder, gumming at her little fingers as she looked on with wide, curious eyes.

I walked inside the room, attracting strange looks from a few of the trainees. I'd helped out with the training, once. It was strange to see that those I'd been working with only eight months before were now helping to train, as well.

"Wait… where would the electrical wire go? Wouldn't it have to go across the left?" asked Gippal's trainee, obviously frustrated.

Gippal only sighed and chuckled lightly. "Y'know, this would be a lot easier to show you with two hands…"

I finished crossing over to them and tapped Gippal lightly on the shoulder. He looked up, his eyes darkening a bit. "Yeah? I'm kinda busy."

"Gimme Telan… then you can show this kid how to do it the right way." I kneeled next to him and reached out to pick her up. He helped to ease her onto my shoulder. I smiled as she cooed softly and grabbed a fistful of my hair, before returning to the process of eating her fingers.

Gippal had already launched into a full blown explanation, expertly avoiding sharp bits of metal as he wove his hands in and out of the machine, pointing at certain points and wires. "Got that? Then you take this red connecting cable here, and fuse it to the blue one. That'll make the ignition spark go off, which makes the whole damned thing turn on."

The trainee nodded and started to go to work. I grinned and shook my head at Gippal. "Red to green."

His brows furrowed as he looked over the machine. "What are you talking about?"

"If he fuses blue and red nothing will work. Green is the transfer wire color, and blue only leads to the technology and all that. So pretty much, you'll start up the program, but not the stuff that actually makes that little ditty work." Gippal only stared at me with an unreadable expression on his face. I rocked Telan back and forth, kissing her lightly on the forehead. The trainee glanced back and forth from me to Gippal. I nodded to him. "It's red to green, trust me."

He waited for Gippal's confirmation, however. Gippal reluctantly gave in. "She's right, red to green. Sorry about that." I strolled away, walking quickly down the halls to his office, Telan tugging at my hair all the way.

I took a seat on the couch and readjusted Telan so that her little body rested atop mine, her head still on my shoulder. Her hand was still in her mouth, and I grinned at her, pulling it out. I didn't mind as I wiped off her drooled on fingers on my sweatshirt. "Why're you trying to eat your hand, hm?"

I looked into her wide and curious eyes with a smile on my face. She cooed and kicked her legs out excitedly, her newly non-sticky hand waving about. I laughed and kissed her forehead, noticing that the remnants of the bruises from when she'd been born were finally fading. "Can I talk for a minute, baby? And will you listen?" She made a cute sound and grabbed my hair, so I took it to mean 'yes'. I giggled at her, suddenly ecstatic to have her in my arms… I didn't hear the door opening slightly.

"Mama messed up. Mama messed up really bad. I left your daddy a long time ago… I thought it would be better for him, you know? I thought I was doing something good, even if I was miserable. And then I left him again, and again. I didn't give him the chance when I saw the bad stuff, you know, I just… I just left. And I left you, too. You guys didn't deserve that, not at all. I love you, baby, and I know you know I love Daddy, too… It's just hard right now. But I'm going to try, okay? I'm going to try my hardest to work things out. I love you, so much. And I finally realized that this place, here, with you, with Daddy, is where I need to stay. Where I want to stay." I smiled softly as she calmed down and gazed at me intently. "Am I forgiven? Just a little?"

She began to thrash about again, and I laughed. "Thank you… and I promise I'll never, ever freak out on you when you cry again. Mama's okay with that now."

I stepped away from the slightly open doorway that led to my secluded office. Careful to take quiet footsteps, I left Rikku and Telan alone. They needed time. And I did, too.

What Rikku had just said had made me angry, joyous, confused, and a little bit guilty all at once, though I didn't know why. Okay, maybe I understood why I was confused. It made no Yevon-blessed sense! Swiftly, I walked down the stairs and strode through the main hall, grabbing my coat on the way out. The rain was falling harder once again, the light mist gone. I strode across the yard and over the bridges quickly, shivering despite my jacket. I cursed at the cold… strange that I loved it at the same time.

It took me a long time to find the place I was looking for in the rain. At first, I wasn't even sure I could make it down. But, I found the familiar footholds and made my way to the thin stretch of beach that wasn't being pounded upon by the churning ocean. I barely noticed when my feet met the first stair, when I entered the dark passage that led up to the secret room. The blankets I'd brought in long ago were still there, tucked in the corner for times like these, when I needed to think, to protect myself from the cold. I sat down near the stack and pulled one over me, setting my jacket aside to dry out as much as possible.

She loved me. She'd said it. She said she loved me. She. Loves. Me. But what in the Farplane did that mean? What did it mean! It had come from Rikku's own mouth, and in a way, it was all I wanted to hear… but in a way it was part of the problem. Did it mean anything, coming from her?

Of course it did! She wouldn't say something like that if she didn't mean it. But… actually, she would. She'd proven that. So… did it mean anything? Probably not. But it had to mean something! Didn't it? It had to… she'd said that she'd been miserable, after all. It had to mean something. But… it didn't. Did it?

I ran a hand through my hair, ignoring the slight nervous shake. "I need a cup of coffee or something. Okay, Gippal, just calm down, try to figure this out… you're missing something… what is it? What is it…"

She thought it would be better for me. That she was doing something good. But what was better for me, what was good? I didn't see it. How could leaving me, ever be doing me good? How could keeping my child a secret from me, be doing me good?

I sat, wrapped in a blanket in the cold and lonely old Chamber of the Guardian, confused and lost in thought.

During the next break in the rain, I managed to get Telan back to the house. I noticed, as I entered the door for the first time in the daylight hours, that it looked as if Gippal had just moved in to the place. Brother had told me that he'd moved in awhile back… but if that was true, why were the walls so bare? Why did everything have that new smell? I remembered his old room, in the temple. It had had that distinct "this is Gippal's room" smell, the tinge of oil and cologne. This place had none of that.

With a sigh, I placed my dozing daughter into the little bouncy seat that sat in the corner with a few toys. The couch was covered with heavy blankets, Gippal's favorites, to be exact. I made my way over to them and began to fold them up, setting them aside on the armchair. I quickly made the trip down the hall to his room to make the bed, stowing my bags near the closet as I did so.

I listened for a moment as the rain began to pound the roof once again. Telan's little cries echoed down the hall, and I went to her without pretense, picking her up and holding her tightly. For once, I didn't tell her to 'ssh', I just rocked her back and forth, rubbing her back as I made slow circuits around the coffee table.

When she was calm and dozing once again, I grabbed one of the blankets and lay back on the couch with my baby, covering the both of us up. I watched her sleep, content for the first time in days. The only thing that would make this better was if she was resting in my arms while I was resting in Gippal's.

With a huge stack of contracts and the like in my arms, I left the temple along with the rest of the workers. We always left early on Friday, and I was always the only one with things left to do over the weekend. I already had stacks of back work sitting on my desk at home, waiting to be signed. I hadn't had the time to get to them.

My head was pounding from all the thinking I'd been doing that day. I was completely confused about Rikku's logic. That confusion, combined with all the noise inside the workrooms of the temple, had given me a migraine from hell.

"See you Monday, Gippal!" I looked toward the voice and nodded, not really paying attention to who it was. Others called out, and I just nodded or waved awkwardly around the stack of paper. I finally lost the crowd when I took the opposite walkway towards the houses, along with only the major departmental heads. They're heads were most likely pounding just as hard as mine was, so talk was minimal.

I walked inside the open gate to my yard, kicking it shut. Opening the door with so many papers was a feat to be accomplished, but after about three minutes of struggling, I managed to get it open. Once inside, I closed the door quietly and walked through the entryway toward the little office.

Rikku was lying on the couch in the living room, her eyes drooping as she fingered combed Telan's white blonde hair. The little girl was fast asleep on her chest. Rikku looked up at me as I passed. I tried not to let the scene make me feel a little better. I was still mad at her, after all. And frustrated. And in pain because of the headache she'd caused.

Inside the office, I dropped the most recent stack next to the other four, turned on the little desk lamp, and dropped into my chair. My arm was aching too, though yesterday's splint was now only a wraparound brace. After I'd returned to the temple, I'd gone to the Faction doctor (as planned) to receive my first bone healing treatment. The process was taken slower now, after Sin. Potion therapy had once been quick in all manners, not allowing for complete and solid healing. Now, in terms of medicine, the doctors insisted that it be slower. Those who still roamed Spira used the old style potions that healed instantly. Before Rikku had left, I'd once taken a peek at her supply bag. All she had was the old fashioned kind. My brace would stay on for another three to four days, while the bone continued to strengthen and return to normal.

A pen in hand, I began to go through the oldest stack of papers, leaving a messy signature on the appropriate lines. Not long after I started, a soft knock interrupted me. I looked toward the doorway. Rikku stood there, Telan in her arms. I went back to my paperwork. "Yeah?"

"…how was work?"

"It was work."

She nodded, slightly deflated. "Why'd you bring so much stuff home?"

"Haven't had time to do it. Had to take care of Telan… which I don't mind. But… I have to get this done." I quieted and went back to signing, and after a few minutes, I heard her leave the room. I concentrated on the signatures.

Twenty-five signatures later, I started as Rikku entered the room, one of the kitchen chairs in her hands. I stared at her as she pulled the chair up next to mine, adjusting it until she sat a comfortable angle in front of the desk. She held out a hand expectantly while she searched a desk drawer for a pen.

"What?" I snapped, my head pounding.

She paused for a moment, and then overlooked my tone. "Give me one or two of those stacks."

"Why?"

"I don't have any work of my own to do, Telan is down for the next few hours, at least, and you're behind in the paperwork. So give me a stack and a damned pen and I'll help you."

This had to be a scheme to get me to talk about things. I didn't want to talk about things. I was angry today, and that's all I cared about. Once I stopped being angry, then we could talk. But not now. "I'm not in the mood to chat, Cid's girl. Supposedly, there's a big blitz tournament on the sphere networks. Why don't you go watch it?" I didn't really care that I sounded so snippy. I glanced at her, feeling a little guilty when I saw the look in her eyes. But only a little.

Instead of taking the suggestion, she continued her search for a pen, finally finding one lost among the paperwork. Then, she selected a stack that was much heftier than mine and moved it into her lap. After a quick and silent glance at my messy signature, she began to mimic it on the paperwork. I shook my head and continued to sign. But I wasn't left unaffected by the determination in her eyes.

I'd finished two large stacks by the end of the hour. Gippal had finished two little ones. I'd stayed absolutely silent for the last hour, but when I noticed him wincing at the light, attempting to shield his eyes with his bad arm, I couldn't really handle it any longer.

"Gippal?" I asked quietly, setting down my pen.

He glanced over at me distractedly. He didn't even bother to try and snap at me. "What?"

"You should take a break if your head hurts that bad."

He held my gaze for a few moments before he turned back to the paperwork. "I can't, I need to get all this done."

"You've got all weekend. We got about half done, already… take a break. It's only going to take longer if you make your head hurt even worse."

He nodded moodily and dropped his pen on the desk. With his good hand, he began to rub his temples. I hesitated, uncertain about how he would react, before reaching over and moving his hand out of the way. He jumped and leaned back in the chair, away from me.

"Don't touch me, Rikku…"

That hurt, but I knew he had every right to say it. I'd said the same thing, after all. "I'm sorry… I just wanted to help…"

He didn't say anything, staring at the floor. I waited for him to answer, but when it was apparent that he wasn't going to, I stood and left the room. I crossed the now dark living room and entered the kitchen.

I rummaged through the cupboards, sighing when I could only find cans of soup and some bread. It would have to do. I hastily turned on the stove to heat up some soup, and buttered a few slices of bread. I hated cooking, but at least I knew how. Lulu had made me learn during the pilgrimage, and during my time in Besaid. I would have made something a bit better than canned soup and bread had more food been in the house, but hopefully the gesture would be enough.

A bottle of pills sat in the center of the counter. I picked it up and looked at the label. Painkillers, prescribed by the Faction doctor to Gippal. I took one from the bottle and poured out a glass of water before picking all of it up and leaving the kitchen.

Gippal was lying on the couch now, curled up on it in the dark room. I sighed heavily. I carefully set the plate down on the coffee table, not wanting to make too much noise. He opened his eyes and looked up at me calmly.

I knelt next to him and held out my hand and the glass of water. "These were on the counter… they're for your arm, I'm sure, but it might help your headache. The doctor gave me some when I left the hospital. They're feel good happy pills. I'm jealous." With a forced grin, I waited as he sat up and took the glass and pill from my hands.

"Thanks…" he whispered, popping the pill into his mouth and drinking, swallowing it with a grimace. "They taste nasty."

"Yeah, but they work well."

He blinked at me as he set the glass down on the table. "Feel good happy pills, huh?"

I nodded. "Yeah." Hesitantly, I pointed at the soup. "I made you something to eat, too, if you want it… I wanted to make something better than soup, but… there wasn't much else…"

Appreciation filled his expression. "Soup's great... thank you. You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "You always take care of me when I need taking care of. Can't I take care of you when you need it?"

He grinned and nodded. "I guess so." He pointed at the soup as he leaned forward to pick it up. "Aren't you going to eat?" His voice was soft, with no trace of his earlier snappiness. It had to be the headache.

I shook my head and stood up, walking toward the office. "I'm not hungry. I had a sandwich for lunch, so… I'm okay for now. I'm going to go sign some more of those papers, alright?" He nodded, and I went back to the office.

I heard Telan crying, and, thankful that the pounding in my head had receded with the medicine and my short nap after dinner, I stood up and slowly made my way down the hallway, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

When I reached her room, I went straight to the crib. She was only whining for attention, and I grinned tiredly at her. "Oh shush, missy…" I plucked her from the crib and took her back to the front room with me. Rikku was standing in the doorway of the office. "She's just whining…"

"Yeah… thanks for getting her." I nodded and took my seat on the couch once again. "How's your head?" she asked.

"A lot better."

She smiled. "Good… I got some more of those papers done."

"Thanks… I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

I hated being so formal with her. But what else was I supposed to do? "Could you take her for a few minutes? She probably wants a bottle…"

"I'll get it!" Rikku said, grinning. "Just relax." And with that, she disappeared into the kitchen. I stared at the door of the kitchen for a few seconds before leaning back on the couch, curling up with Telan. I'd gotten used to sitting here with her during the days we'd been alone. It was comfortable… it would be better if I could only let go and tell Rikku to curl up with us.

At times I envied those normal couples, the ones who hadn't had to work through comas and ongoing problems… the ones who could come home and just be a family. I lost my parents when I was young, of course, and I had few memories of what family actually was, but I knew what it was supposed to be. And it wasn't like this. I was comfortable, sitting here with my daughter, and I felt guilty, wanting more. Wanting Rikku.

I chuckled to myself as I rubbed my thumb over Telan's hand. "I'm insane, angel… absolutely insane. She's here, finally… right in reach. And I can't stop being angry. I want to. I want everything to go back to how it was a long time ago, you know? Well… not all the way. I want you around. But I want to come home from work, like I used to, and have your mama walk in, wearing those mucky old overalls that she loves… and I want to see her face light up, and I want to feel my heart speed up… I don't know, baby girl. I always used to enjoy chaos. I don't want chaos right now, though, I just want you and Rikku."

My whispers quieted as soon as the kitchen door opened. Rikku shook the small bottle that was in her hand, reaching out for Telan. "Let me have her so she can eat."

"No… that's okay, let me." I held out a hand. Rikku contemplated for a moment, but then handed me the bottle. Both of us took a sharp breath as our hands met, for that split second. Our eyes locked for a long while, and neither of us moved.

A knock sounded on the door, and she turned away quickly, her cheeks flushed. I looked down at Telan, who was waiting patiently to be fed.

Rikku came back from the entryway a few moments later. "Brother needs me to come and help out with something on the Celsius… is it alright if I disappear for a little while?"

I frowned. "Not when you phrase it like that."

She blushed again. "I didn't mean it like that… I mean… I'm going to go and help him. I'll be back in fifteen minutes? Eh-heh?"

I grinned and shrugged. "Yeah, I know… go ahead. I'm just going to feed her, okay?"

She nodded and vanished down the hallway, returning a few seconds later with her coat. After she kissed Telan on the forehead, she made her way toward the door. "I'll be back!"

I smiled and offered Telan her bottle as the door closed.

I sat on the floor of the main room in the Celsius, holding tools for Brother as he attempted to fix one of Shinra's old fuse boxes. "You know, you would have done better with this had you told Gippal to come and help. I'm no good with Shinra's stuff. He only ever explained the CommSphere wiring to me. I have no idea how he rigged the computers."

"Then Gippal wouldn't know, either."

"He figured out the CommSpheres without any help, I'm sure he could figure this out, too." Brother held his hand out with a grunt, and I handed him a wirecutter. "Try getting rid of those old nasty ones and replacing them with new ones."

"If that's all it takes I will be angry. I've spent too much time this afternoon trying to fix the damn network."

"Try it. I bet it works."

And so, Brother searched in the supply kit for some copper wire while I stood lazily near the stairwell. I looked out over the ocean, which was raging in the winds. "Why do you need to fix this so badly?"

"I've had a few transmission from Bevelle and the Thunder Plains today that were unclear. I called Shinra to ask him what to do with it, and he told me to check the wiring. Nothing else! Little ungrateful wretch…" Brother mumbled, fumbling to put the wires in place.

As soon as they were steady, the fuzzy overhead screen went clear once more, showing a clear map of Spira, all the major cities marked. "Told ya."

"It worked?" he asked, disbelievingly. I nodded… then, he stormed off around the bridge, up the stairs, and into the hallway. I heard the elevator start up and go down, and I laughed. With a sigh, I closed up the floor panel that we'd removed and put the tools away, storing the kit back underneath Shinra's old seat.

The call light began to go off on the panel. I looked up on the screen. Indeed, as Brother had stated, it was coming from Bevelle. I sighed, wondering what urgent delivery he'd forgotten to pick up, before pressing the receiver button.

Baralai popped into view as soon as I'd pressed it. My eyes widened at first, but then he smiled, and I smiled back. "I've been looking for you all day," he stated, quiet.

"Why?" I asked, uncertain. I'd told him I was coming back, to fix things, to be where I belonged… why was he calling?

"I just wanted to make sure that you arrived safely. I heard that the weather over there has been horrible these last few days." Baralai smiled and settled himself in front of the CommSphere. I could see various people wandering around in the background. He was obviously still in his office. It was strange to see the sunset when it was already so dark here in Djose due to the cloud cover.

"Yeah… yeah, I'm fine. I got here yesterday. I should have left you a message so you didn't worry."

More than half an hour had passed, and I was starting to get worried. Had she left with Brother? Or was the fixing taking longer than planned? As I walked onto the airship, Telan bundled up in my arms, I heard her voice echoing softly down the ramp.

"…a message so you didn't worry."

Another familiar voiced answered hers. A voice I wasn't happy to hear. "I shouldn't be worrying. But I couldn't help it. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. But yes… I'm fine, I got here okay… the weather is kind of bad, but I like it. I missed it."

I stepped onto the bridge and stared up at the screen. Rikku sat in the chair in front of it, leaning back so that she could see Baralai's face. Baralai spotted me over the CommSphere as I walked down the stairs, quietly. "Rikku…"

"… Baralai? Something wrong?"

I stepped up next to her and nodded. "Yeah, something's wrong."

Baralai looked uncertain about what to do or say. That made me happy. I was angry, too, no doubt. But pleased with his uncertainty. "Gippal… wait!" But I didn't. I'd already reached over and broken the sphere connection. The screen went blank. Rikku was staring at me with wide eyes, frozen.

"I thought you were helping Brother with something." My voice was slightly cold again, as I tried to keep my anger and hurt out of it.

"I… I was. He needed to fix the CommSphere network, the wires were old…" Rikku was quiet as she stood. "I didn't know Baralai was going to call."

"You sounded happy enough to talk to him."

"I wasn't planning on talking to him. He was worried about if I got here alright…"

I nodded, shortly, averting my gaze. "Worried. Okay." I turned around and walked back the way I had come, down the ramp and into the courtyard, quickly walking back to the house. She followed me all the way.

"Gippal! Stop!" she called as we reached the front yard. I didn't. I wanted to get Telan inside and in her crib. My headache was coming back, and I didn't want to scare her if I got a little loud. I kicked off my shoes in the entryway and quickly walked down the hall to my bedroom, placing her in the crib there. I didn't want her to sleep alone in her room again tonight.

When I returned to the living room, Rikku was waiting. "He was worried, so he called, and I didn't know he was going to. I wouldn't have answered if I knew it was him!"

"Yes, you would've."

"No! I know how bad I hurt you already! Why would I want to do that again?" I just looked at her coolly, massaging my temple with my good hand. "He was only making sure I got here without any problems, Gippal."

I shook my head. "You don't get it, Rikku, he had no right doing that. He has no right to worry about you!"

An indignant look upon her face, Rikku put her hands on her hips. "Why can't he? Who ever said no one was allowed to worry about me but you?"

I sighed heavily and stared at her in an angered exasperation. "Rikku… he didn't sit by your side, scared to death that you were going to be gone forever for a week and a half. He didn't have to endure you leaving him without any notice or explanation. He didn't have to wonder about if you were okay, or if you were hurt. He didn't have to watch you fight death in that hospital, okay? I did. I was worried sick about you for months." Until then, my voice had been soft, tender. But now, my anger began to get the best of me, and my tone began to grow in volume. "I still am. And he… he had sex with you! He's my best friend, and he knows how I feel about you, and he still did it! I was worried while you were in Bevelle, Rikku. I was worrying about you while he was betraying our friendship, while he was crossing the line with you. So in my eyes, he doesn't have any right to be worried. That's my job. It's all I do, and I've pretty much been replaced in every other area. I won't let him take over my worrying, too."

My voice echoed throughout the hall, silence following. Rikku stared up at me, her big green eyes full of unshed tears. I stared back. Finally she shook her head, taking a few steps toward me to close the difference between us. I flinched as she grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. "He hasn't replaced you at all. No one could ever, ever do that."

And without further pretense, she'd closed the distance between us, and her lips were on mine, her hands in my hair, her body pressing against my own. I was stunned as she pulled away, swiftly, blushing, apologizing stupidly for her actions. She began to walk away, but I reached for her hand.

"Thank you…" I whispered, knowing I probably sounded pathetic… not caring. And then, I pulled her close once more, buried my good hand in her mass of hair, and pulled her back to me. I bent down so that she wouldn't have to stand on tiptoe, aware of everything and nothing. I felt my heartbeat quicken as our lips and breath mingled, as her own arms snaked back around my neck. And suddenly… I wasn't angry, anymore.

That's that, for this chapter. I didn't get my homework done for this, you all had better be happy. Thanks FairyIce! Thanks for all the reviews, reviewers!

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