The Echo
Chapter 15: Patience

I woke early the next morning to the sound of Telan's soft cooing. I looked down at her with a grin. She was looking at her mother, who was still asleep, her head resting on my chest, hair sprawled across her face. I gently reached down and felt the infant's forehead, brushing her shining blonde locks back. She was still too warm, but she seemed comfortable. She was talking in her own adorable baby language instead of crying, so I knew she had to be feeling a little better.

Rikku shifted slightly, and I looked down at her. Underneath the few wild strands of blonde hair, her skin was dull. Her eyes were slightly puffy, from lack of sleep, and she felt limp in my arms. Too close to her hospitalized condition for comfort, in my opinion. With a yawn, I turned back to Telan.

"Hey, angel…" I whispered. She looked up at me and kicked me softly in the stomach, happy to be spoken to. "Oof… why are you kickin' me, huh? That's not nice…" She cooed, and I grinned. Carefully, I eased myself out of Rikku's grasp and stood, baby in arm. I walked slowly down the hall, listening to the sound of the rain on the roof.

After I'd changed Telan's diaper, I returned to the living room. Without hesitation, I tapped Rikku on the shoulder.

She groaned as I continually prodded her. "S'too early…"

I smiled. "I'm going to take you back to the bedroom so you can rest, okay?"

She sighed heavily in response, and I shook my head as I picked her up off the couch and walked her down the hallway into my bedroom.

Gently, I lowered her onto the bed. She immediately wrapped her arms around a pillow, snuggling deep into it. I pulled the sheets, blankets, and comforter over her, up to her chin… just how she liked it. With a smile, I kissed her forehead softly, before I reluctantly left to get Telan her early morning bottle.

I woke up to loud cries of "Shit!" and the smell of something burning. For a moment, I simply lay back, staring at the ceiling in confusion. And then, when thoughts of Telan and Gippal ran through my head, I tossed off the blankets and scrambled onto the ground, running out of the room like a crazy person.

Telan sat in the living room in her bouncy seat. Her little face was scrunched up, probably because of the smell, and her eyes were wide. "Okay, baby's here… Gippal, where's Gippal?"

"Damnit! Shit! Stop… burning… OW!" Kitchen… I thought, before turning to run through the kitchen door. Instead of running through the doorway, however, I hit the wall in my mad rush. With a whine, I tossed myself through the door and stared at the scene in front of me.

Gippal stood there, in front of the stove, a pan with flaming contents blazing in front of him. He was cursing profusely at the stovetop as he tried to turn off the burner, plugging his nose with his free hand to block out the stench and smoke. Dizzy from my collision, I pointed randomly.

"What are you doing! Open the window! Turn on the sink!" Gippal whirled and stared at me for a split second before doing as I said. I bravely grabbed the pan's handle and shoved the flaming contents under the stream of the cold water from the faucet. Steam rose from the burning residue of what had once been food, and the pan hissed as it cooled rapidly. I coughed loudly, as did Gippal. The open kitchen window would help with the smoke. The two of us stared at each other for a long moment before I dropped the pan carelessly into the sink and strode over to him, lightly smacking him upside the head.

"What in the hell were you thinking? You could have killed us all!" I yelled loudly, waving my arms madly in the air. "You could have killed yourself, and me, and Telan, and then where would we be? DEAD! What were you thinking!"

He took a few steps back and stared at the stove. "Uh… well… once everything started burning, I kind of wasn't thinking?"

"Obviously!"

"But before that, I was-" he paused for a moment, scratching the back of his head nervously, "-well… I was making you breakfast. I knew you were tired from taking care of her while I was at work these last few days… and… I wanted to let you rest, so I was going to make you breakfast and bring it to you."

I blinked at him seriously for a few moments, random thoughts of both how sweet and how fake that sounded running through my head. He looked back, nervously rubbing his neck as he leaned against the counter, watching me and waiting for my reaction. And then I began to laugh.

He frowned. "Why is that funny?"

I sank down into one of the chairs at the small table, laughing harder than I'd laughed in a very long time. "You… cooking…?"

His frown deepened. "I thought it would be a nice gesture."

I took a steadying breath. "It would have been if you hadn't set everything on fire!" And then I burst into laughter once more.

A flash of irritation crossed his features before he grinned smugly. "Flambé."

"Huh?"

"Flambé. It's when you set food on fire. I did that. Only… accidentally." Gippal began to laugh, too, and our voices echoed about the kitchen as we stared at the slightly steaming pan in the sink.

With a sigh and a deep breath, I calmed myself. "It was a nice gesture. Thank you."

"Thank you and you're welcome. Sorry… I think it's a bit charred. But the intent is what matters, right?" he asked, a cheeky smile on his lips.

I nodded, with a grin. "Exactly."

I sat on the floor, leaning against Telan's crib, a book in my hands. Telan had only just gone back to sleep, after a few hours of being miserable. Slowly but surely, she was starting to feel better. Her crying wasn't as urgent as it had been for the past few days, her fever was lower, and she wasn't reacting like a flash bomb to unwanted touch any longer. If Rikku or I had tried to pick her up at the wrong moment during the past days, she would scream. Now, she just sort of whined, as she'd done that first day in the hospital when I'd woken her up from her comfortable infant sleep.

My gaze shifted from the words on the page to the falling rain outside. When I'd brought Rikku to Djose from Bikanel, we'd arrived in the middle of a rain like this one. One of those rains where every sweeping silver curtain could be seen, each drop an individual entity, but part of something bigger. The patter on the ground and roof came and went in patterns, almost like a song. A song that went back as far as time itself, something without words… something that didn't need words. I remembered helping her carry her bags through the rains, kissing her softly before pushing open the large doors and leading her up to her bedroom. I remembered the taste of the rain on her lips. It seemed like so long ago, but only about ten months had passed since that moment had taken place. I closed my eyes for a moment, blown away by how much had changed.

Even with all the change, certain things had stayed the same. Djose had changed very little since I'd established the Machine Faction. Djose was a timeless place, without change. I guess it was only natural for things to remain frozen here. Suspended in time. My feelings for Rikku hadn't changed… if anything, they were stronger.

How did she feel about me? I couldn't help but wonder… I needed to know. Did she mean it when she'd said she loved me? Had the last few days of pleasantry only been in my imagination? I hoped not, because that would mean that they weren't pleasant at all, and if that was the case… well, then I'd have to smack my head against a wall. And my poor head couldn't stand any more of that, what with all my tortured thoughts.

"Gippal?" My thoughts interrupted, I turned toward the doorway. Rikku stood there, and I sucked in a breath. Even when she wasn't trying to be, she was gorgeous. Her long, golden blonde hair floated around her, catching the dim light. She slowly walked down the two small stairs and crossed the room as I closed my book and stood. Her bright eyes weren't tired for the first time since she'd gotten here… I got the impression that it was actually the first time in months. She leaned against the side of the crib, reaching down to run her hand over Telan's tiny forehead. "How's my girl?"

I smiled softly, looking down at the baby. "I think she's feeling a little better. She's just a little crabby. Not nearly as bad as yesterday."

Rikku continued to stare down at the baby, a tiny half grin gracing her lips. "That's good… I think she's exhausted from fighting it off, you know?"

"Yeah…" I watched her as she carefully combed Telan's hair into place, as she pulled our little girl's fingers from her mouth, as she lovingly adjusted the little blankets. Something about the way she moved was different, gentler… soft. I hadn't noticed it before, perhaps because I wasn't observant enough, or perhaps because it wasn't there. But I liked it. For a brief moment, as she leaned over the side of the crib to run her thumb over the back of Telan's hand, she was glowing, a sense of warmth radiating from her. She smiled widely as Telan sneezed, and turned toward me, her velvety green eyes sparkling.

She hugged me tightly, and I smiled into her hair as she rested her head on my shoulder. "Thank you for helping me today," she said quietly. "I haven't felt this rested since I… for a long time."

I pulled back slowly, watching her carefully. I knew what she'd been about to say. "Since you left?"

She averted her gaze for a few seconds before bravely meeting my eyes once more. "Yeah."

I lowered myself back to my spot on the floor, patting the ground in front of me. "C'mere." She hesitantly lowered herself to the floor as well, sitting in the gap between my legs before leaning back against my chest. I hesitantly wrapped my arms about her waist, and she rested her head against my shoulder, gazing up at me questioningly. "Can we talk about some things?"

She held my gaze steadily. "Yeah."

I took a slow, deep breath. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer to the question I was about to ask, but… I was sure that I needed to know. "Rikku… I've been thinking about what you said that night, when you came back. I've been thinking about it a lot." My voice was quiet, unsure. "You said that you left me because you loved me."

"… I did say that. And I meant it."

"And I can't figure out what that means." Rikku stared up at me, her expression guarded. "I've tried. I don't understand it. I… I just need to know." Hesitantly, I pulled her a little closer. "Why did you leave? Why didn't you tell me about the baby?"

She was silent for a few moments, before she looked across the room, locking her eyes on the opposite wall. "I tried. A few times. The day I found out… I had a day off, remember? I went to Luca to get it confirmed. You got home, and I knew, and I was going to tell you right then, but then you said something about how your day had been horrible and problematic, and… I decided it could wait for a better time." She took a shaky breath, as I held my own. "A few days later, we went to dinner at the port in the Moonflow, and I tried again, but you were excited about something that happened at work, and you wanted to celebrate. And I told myself that we could celebrate our news another time." It was almost as if she'd been waiting to say this. As if she hadn't said anything about it before. "I told myself that it could wait for two weeks. Every time I got the courage to tell you, something else came up. But then I realized that I was almost two months along and I couldn't keep it a secret for much longer. The only person who knew was… Adena. I kept hoping that you would just notice… but you didn't.

"So I ended up having to ask you plainly what you thought about the future. You said you weren't ready to get married." Her eyes closed tightly, and I breathed out uncertainly as I watched her struggle to keep talking. "It hurt, but I understood, because you didn't know about anything that was going on, and in all reality, I wasn't ready to get married, either. But then I asked you about kids, and I thought you'd finally get it, that if I pushed hard enough… you might understand what I was trying to tell you. But you didn't. And when I left the room, I got dizzy, and you thought I was sick, but I wasn't." She turned to me, looking me in the eyes as tears began to make a slow trail down her cheeks. "I was carrying your baby, I wasn't sick! And I couldn't tell you, because I knew what would happen!"

My heart was pounding in my chest. "What do you mean?" I recalled that night, when she'd left Telan with me, when her tears had made her look so small, so fragile. Something was different now, just like in the way she moved, but I was still reminded of it. And it was tearing my madly beating heart into pieces.

"You never had a family, growing up. I knew you'd give up everything for one, if the opportunity came about… even if you weren't ready. That's how you are, Gippal. And I couldn't let you give up. I couldn't let you lose everything you've worked for, just for me and the baby. I couldn't make you choose between us and your life. You worked too hard to make something for yourself for me to have to tie you down. You didn't deserve to be tied down, you needed to fly, and I saw that… and I packed up my things, even though I didn't want to, and I went to Besaid." She wiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand. "I left because I loved you. But I didn't want to go. I wanted you to call, or to come after me. Something! I waited for it… and then it never came, and I knew it was my fault, and that I deserved it, so I gave up. And I made everyone promise not to tell you. But I wish someone had."

Her soft whispering stopped as she looked toward the window, blinking quickly in an effort to stop her tears. I was stunned. Nothing I'd thought had come close to this. She'd left for me. She'd left because she cared too much about me to allow our relationship… our family… to come between me and my future. She hadn't considered herself. She'd only been worried about me. She was shaking now, against me, trying to hold her emotions in.

Without a second thought, I turned her toward me and pulled her into a tight embrace. Her tears streamed across my neck and soaked into my shirt as she cried almost noiselessly into my shoulder. I smoothed her hair comfortingly, holding her as tightly as possible. "I'm sorry, Rikku… I never meant to hurt you, Cid's girl… I'm so sorry…"

She tightened her grip around me and spoke softly as she continued to cry. "I missed that the most…" She took a shuddering breath as she held onto me, and I brushed her hair back, away from her face.

"What?"

"You calling me 'Cid's girl'… it always makes me feel special, even if I pretend to hate it." She pulled back and looked into my eyes. I reached up and gently brushed a tear from her cheek. "I was miserable without you," she whispered. "I felt so alone…"

I held her tightly once more. "I was miserable without you, too."

She sobbed weakly as I stroked her golden hair. "I'm so sorry, Gippal… for everything…"

I stopped her with a hesitant kiss, leaning my forehead against hers when I pulled away. "Don't apologize… I'm sorry for everything, too." I kissed her once more, tasting the tears on her lips… and it reminded me of that day in the rain, for the taste of the rain on her lips was the taste of the sky's tears… and Rikku's tears were the sky's tears to me, as well, because Rikku was my sky. She was my everything.

Night had fallen. Telan and I were curled up in Gippal's bed, exhausted. Telan was beating the flu, at long last. I was emotionally drained from my confession to Gippal.

I had my arm over the baby, holding her little body close. She was holding tightly to my right pinky, seemingly unwilling to let it go. She slept soundly, holding my finger in a vice-like death grip, as I watched her sleep in wonder. She was so peaceful when she was sleeping.

There was a quiet knock on the door, before Gippal entered the room. I looked up at him hesitantly, still a bit uncertain about his feelings of what had occurred that afternoon.

He closed the door behind him, so quiet as he tiptoed across the room. I stared at him questioningly. "You okay?" I asked, watching his eyes as they watched me.

He smiled softly. "I was getting a little lonely out there on the couch… Can I sleep with you and the baby tonight? "

With a small smile, I nodded and carefully picked Telan up, setting her in the middle of the bed as I adjusted the blankets. Gippal slid underneath the bedclothes and sighed heavily, reaching for my hand beneath the blankets. I smiled as Telan grabbed both of our pinkies in her little hands in her sleep, as Gippal and I watched her sleeping in fascination.

Wooot. Done! The fire scene and cuddle scene were FairyIce's idea! Thanks for beta, and thanks for all reviews!

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