Take the Pain
-Tala's POV
A/N:
An introspective into Tala's thoughts when he was locked in a cylindrical cell as one of Boris's experiments. Focuses on what he thinks when he no longer is the abbey's favored blader when Kai enters the picture, and how now everything falls onto his shoulder as he is misused as everyone's tool.
Yes, because I love Tala so much, this idea just popped out of nowhere from a spur of inspiration. Whee.
mysterio000
I see a lot of green. I don't like it. I look down and see a million things pricking into my skin and flesh, and I wince inwardly, though I doubt I feel pain anymore. I've been feeling numb from everything, being locked for countless hours in this small cylindrical cell immersed in hues of green liquid.
It's so cold. And dark.
And yet, I'm surprised I can still feel anger uprising within me.
Why me? Why was it that when Boris Balkov that bastard needed anyone to fulfil his dirty, bloody experiments, it was me that became the equipment and tool he misused, and later only to be dumped aside, forgotten and treated like some insignificant garbage toss?
Why was it always me, when he needed someone to pick on? Why was it always me, when they needed someone to take the pain of whatever hell that needed to reach their ambitions and idiotic aspirations?
Always me, everything always falls onto my shoulders. Me, Tala Ivanov.
Not once, never was it you who had to go through all this, Kai.
I was the center of attention back then, basking in Boris's favor. Treated like a magnificent specimen placed on the front row of what they deemed it as their beyblading 'museum' of excellent bladers. I was a hands-off showcase display wonder, I was Tala Ivanov the almighty, untouchable. Someone whom people around felt compelled to bow with their heads down in a show of respect when they neared me.
Until you came, Kai.
And then I was tossed aside. Left into the shadows a few thousand feet behind you, neglected. You became everyone's number one, everyone's favorite. Boris favored you, the guards feared you because you had everyone's support. Voltaire's invincible great grandson, they call you.
I hated you.
You took everything away. I had to work ten times harder than you to gain the favor of being number one. And what about you? You didn't have to put in a single ounce of strength nor energy, and you were prized as a priceless blading gem of the century. I was shoved from the limelight, and you were hauled in.
You changed everything, Kai. The moment you entered the abbey, you threw away all that I have worked for for years without even a snap of your fingers, and you rose to the top, while I'm left at the bottom.
And now I'm here, rotten and forgotten - being used as one of their another experiments in this cylindrical cell. It's cold in here, and so dark. Have I ever told you I'm claustrophobic? I'm afraid of small spaces, and have been ever since the first time they shoved me into a smaller cell like this and locked me up for one whole week without a beacon of light within reach of my vision.
I long to get out. I'm trying to suppress it all, but I'm failing miserably. The pain is getting to me as the countless things prick and poke my skin and penetrate deeply into it…scanning for whatever information they need to be processed. Somewhere, the beeping sound annoys me. Whatever it is, they are probably hoping I'll become another successful cyborg in their attempts again. But they're going to fail, I know it, and I'm going to be yelled at, being blamed for their failed experiment, be whipped later as a punishment, and be dumped in a corner as they continue to pamper you, Kai.
Don't you see now? There are so many reasons why I can hate you. Why I'm here in this cell, suffering in tormented pain, why I'm nearly convulsed with spasms of pain because of you. Why I'm here with hell seared onto my skin, as if the very fire of the devil has emblazoned itself into the core of my soul and stayed there.
All because of your existence, Kai, that I'm barely breathing.
My eyes are closing. I know I can't take any of the pain any longer, and I'm bound to succumb and surrender to the unconsciousness that claim me soon enough.
It nags at my conscience. How I can hate you for so many things you've committed against me, how I can learn to be hell bend on revenge for the things you've done to me…
But I never did hold it against you. Never blamed you. Never hated you. Not once, never. Not in this lifetime of Tala Ivanov.
On the contrary, Kai Hiwatari, I became your friend.
Ironic, isn't it? And pretty stupid on my part, but it's true. Sad, bitter, but brutally true.
I'm down here in the Balkov basement, teetering on the brink of death even. Forgotten by everyone, as you are showered with praises and compliments from Boris and his lapdogs. The moment you entered, I was cast into the last of their priority list. You basked in limelights. I was scoffed at; looked down upon; despised.
But you, Kai Hiwatari, funny how I couldn't find myself to hate you, no matter what kind of hell you subjected me to.
I hated you, yes. Years back when you first entered the abbey. I hated your guts, your arrogance, your idiotic smirk when you beat me to the top of Boris's favorite list.
Then I began to know you, get acquainted with you, and things changed. They placed me in the same dormitory with you, not knowing that this single move would change my perspective of how I viewed you.
I hated you, but not anymore, when I realized we were so much similar in every way. Hateful childhood, the pressure to be a top-notched blader, our longing to go out into the real world one day, how we were oppressed by the stupid burdens in our life.
You respected me…And then I to you.
And even though I tried - I honestly did try, but I could not, ever, ever hate you.
Because you are my friend. You were the only one who understood me, the one who never walk out from my life when the others shoved me aside. You stayed by my side on nights when I got mercilessly whipped, and you told me you treated me like a brother. You tended to my wounds after my physical punishments, you bathed my injuries, you shared with me your broken family memories and I to you.
We are really so much alike, Kai, and I could never hate you.
For the umpteenth times, I'm comforting myself. If it's me they want to torment and put to hell, then it's me alright. I'd really much prefer that it's Tala Ivanov suffering in this cylindrical cell and being their puppet in their painful experiments than you, Kai Hiwatari.
Because you're like a brother to me, too, and my only true friend I've ever had.
And I'd take the pain of being neglected, being tossed aside like an insignificant garbage, being played in the hands of dozen ventriloquists as I am the puppet, having dozen needles and sedatives injected into my arms as they pull the strings of their experiments…
Because it's me taking all of this, and not you, Kai. The last thing I ever want to see is you in pain. My friend; brother, hurting in hell like this.
Tala Ivanov has always been a fighter, and he'll take all of this in return for your glory, Kai.
Owari
A/N:
It's…strange. How I can write about Tala seemingly hating Kai so much in the beginning, to ending the story with Tala treating Kai as a friend…But whatever, Tala is a strange person anyway. Heh, but I still love him so!
Review, and yup, I know there are definite OOCness still. I think I've been saying this for a gazillion times since I've started writing in the Tala/Kai friendship fandom.
Click on the review button, minna-san! Cheers.
mysterio000