The Echo
Chapter 19: Nerves

I stared at the little silver ring inside the old, worn down box. The diamonds that were set in sparkled incessantly, like a promise. It put me on edge. I continually glanced up at my office door. If Rikku came in, I'd have to be quick in sneaking the little box back into its hiding place in the back of a desk drawer. I'd taken care to design this specific desk drawer so that all the boxes full of paperclips looked close to the box that held my most precious and aggravating possession, and I'd take care to place this box in the very back. I knew Rikku. Her attention span would wane after looking through the first few boxes of very similar paper clips. If someone tipped her off, which no one could, because the only people who knew were myself, her brother, and her father, and none of us would tell her… then she wouldn't look for long. Sure, Rikku may be smarter than that, but smart does not equal patience, thank Ixion.

Telan gurgled at me from the playpen, and I just about had a heart attack. Instantly, I shut up the box and went to replace it in it's niche in the drawer. She couldn't see it! No one could see it, no one cou- I laughed. What the hell is wrong with me? Will she suddenly learn to talk and tell Rikku everything? That there's a pretty ring hidden in my desk drawer?

I set the box down in front of me, sitting ominously in the middle of the desk. I chuckled at myself, but I couldn't ignore the nervous sweat on my forehead as I wiped it away with my sleeve. "I'm going insane…" I muttered, looking over at the baby with a sigh. "Don't you think I'm going insane?" She smiled and squealed, kicking her feet as she stared up at the ceiling. "Thanks, sweetie… I knew you'd agree."

I sat on the top of a huge new hover, mask over my eyes, welding torch in hand. Karaa stood next to me, perching atop a ladder, a mask covering her face as well. With a grin, I placed a piece of metal atop the cross sections of two others. Karaa reached out and held it up, laughing. "Aren't you glad you left Telan with her father today?"

"Yeah, I don't think she would have liked sitting up here with us."

Karaa laughed. "Yeah, me either. How many sheets of that scrap metal do we have left?"

I took a quick glance to the side before sending sparks flying from the torch as I placed it against the metal. "Five."

"Oh, good, just enough to last us until shutdown." She shifted her gloved hands on the piece of metal she was supporting as I torched the edges, melting the two pieces together.

"Hand me that scraper-thingie."

"Here ya go." I took a strong piece of titanium from her and smoothed the red hot metal, making sure none of it fell into the wiring beneath. The two of us quieted as I continually welded the sheet of metal to the others that I'd done that afternoon. Hours passed in the same fashion, both of us taking turns with the torch, chatting the time away. I remembered my time here all those months ago with a smile. I'd missed working. I just hadn't realized how much.

Rainbows of color played over the ceiling as I looked at the ring in the lamplight, listening to the lightning playing around the temple. The jewels really were beautiful. They were so clear, unclouded by all the years. Rikku's eyes were that way.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, watching anxiously as the light made the stones shine in sheer brilliance. I turned the light off for a moment, calming as the colors left the ceiling. But I couldn't leave it alone, and I turned the lamp on again, holding the ring closer to it so that the ceiling would glow again. Telan looked up. "Ooooooh…"

"Yeah, baby, it's pretty, isn't it?" I said absently, watching the light as well. The ring was light in my hands, warm. I kept trying to tell myself that it was only a ring, only a piece of metal and gemstone, the same as many of the machines scattered throughout the temple, the same as the sparkling diamond edged saws we used to cut through the hardest of materials. But it wasn't. It wasn't just a ring.

The beautiful little creation was a symbol of something sacred, or so Cid had said. It had been a symbol of the love shared between him and Rikku's mother, and now it would serve as a symbol of the love shared between me and Rikku. But that's what scared me.

Before Cid had called me to Bikanel, I hadn't even given marriage a thought. It just seemed too soon… much too soon. I had been comfortable as things were. We were finally adjusted. Telan was on a sleeping schedule, and we were used to having her around. Rikku and I went to work together every day, trading off on baby duty. We came home from work, the three of us spent some time together. Telan went to sleep, Rikku and I would have dinner or go out together while Karaa or Brother watched the baby, and when we came home, we'd go to bed. I'd wrap my arms around her and she'd lie close to me. I was comfortable with that. Things were simple, and I liked it. But now… now this ring showed me exactly how un-simple everything really was.

A year ago, had someone asked me if I wanted to marry Rikku, I would have said something along the lines of 'maybe, but not for a long, long time'. Six months ago, I would have said 'yes, but obviously she left, so she doesn't want me'. Four months ago, I would have said 'yes, if she wakes up, that's all I want'. And now… I couldn't think of what to say. Of course I wanted to marry Rikku, but was this the right time? Was it too soon? Had I waited too long? What if she was comfortable, too, and she didn't want it, or… what if she wasn't comfortable at all, but only pretending to be so that I wouldn't get upset? Why in the hell would she even pretend so that I wouldn't get upset if she didn't care? Wait… how could I think she didn't care? Of course she cared… right?

I set the ring back down in its box and closed it up, turning off the lamp. The darkness calmed me… until I looked at the box again. With a pathetic whine, I rubbed my temples, curling up in my chair with a miserable groan. "I'm such an idiot…"

I bid goodbye to Karaa as I walked down the short hall to Gippal's office. The door was closed as I approached it, and I barged in without further ado.

Gippal looked up at me uncertainly, his visible eye widening. He closed a desk drawer and leaned back in his chair, eyeing me warily. "Cid's girl… you could have knocked, y'know."

"I don't need to knock. It's too much fun to scare the shit out of you." I grinned cheekily as I walked over to him. He continually watched me, glancing back and forth at the drawer he'd just closed. I could hear Telan chattering away to herself in the playpen, and I grinned. "Was she good?"

"She's always good." He seemed tense. I sat atop the desk, which was, for once, bare of any and all paper work. "How was the welding?" he asked distractedly.

"Fun, actually. I'd forgotten how much I missed being up in the perilous places, putting things together and all that..." He only nodded, watching me uncertainly. He glanced back at the drawer he'd shut, and I sighed heavily before sliding off the desk and sitting on his lap.

"What are you doing?" I reached forward, pulling out the drawer as I glanced back at him. He paled slightly and watched as I peeked inside. "There's nothing in there, really…"

I reached into the drawer and pulled out one of the boxes from the back. His face paled even more. "You alright, Gippal? You look sick?"

"No… no… it's just… just hot in here, that's all."

With a sigh, I opened the little box and peered inside at the paper clips that rested within. "Ah, I understand…" He sighed as I reached for the paperclip holder that sat atop his desk, his color returning slowly as I poured the contents of the little box into the holder. "There. Paperclips restored in full."

He grinned at me softly, his shoulders still tense. "Thanks, Rikki…" I turned around and straddled his lap in his large desk chair, smiling widely.

"No problem." Gently, I placed my hands on his shoulders and began to rub. "Did you have a hard day or something?"

"… you might say that."

"What'd you do?"

"I thought too much."

"Well, that much is evident from the steam streamin' out of your ears. What else did you do?" I asked with a giggle. He cracked a genuine grin.

"That's not nice, Cid's girl."

"I know, I'm sorry." With a sigh, I kissed his cheek softly, running my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck in a comforting manner. He leaned into the touch. Gently, I caught his lips in a swift and soft kiss, before pulling away and setting my head on his shoulder. "Don't be stressed, okay?"

"I'll try my best." I sighed softly with a smile as he pulled me closer to him, running his fingers through my hair. In that gentle manner that was always unexpected from him, he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry, sweetheart…"

I lifted my head up, looking him in the eyes. "For what?"

"Being jumpy. I don't… I don't want to be jumpy." I saw something in his eyes, but I couldn't place it. Instead, I smiled and kissed him softly again. He sighed and set his head on my shoulder, breathing in deeply.

"It's okay to be jumpy."

He sighed heavily, squeezing me as he nuzzled my neck. "… thank you…"

Rikku had taken the baby back to the house fifteen minutes before. I sat behind my desk in the darkness of my office, staring at the walls as I tapped my fingers on the desktop. I'd calmed down for a few moments, when she was in my arms, comforting me when she didn't even know why I was so nervous, patient as she was with our little girl. But then she'd gone, and now… I needed to talk.

I looked at the glowing blue CommSphere in the corner of the desk, and after a moment of uncertainty, I picked it up, searching through the dial menu for Bevelle. Baralai would understand, he al- I can't talk to Baralai. Not after what he did…

With an angered sigh, I redirected my attention to the menu. Who could I talk to? Brother would laugh at me again. Cid would laugh at me again… and besides, Cid slightly frightened me, so I wouldn't talk to him in any case. Nooj would grunt and tell me he didn't have time to listen, but would stay on the line and listen anyway. Then LeBlanc would pop in, CommSphere in hand, and dial Rikku up, and break my cover as Nooj told me it wasn't anything to worry about and to stop being a baby. No, not calling Nooj. That would be a situation out of a bad nightmare.

The words 'Besaid directory' highlighted under my finger, and I cocked my head to the side uncertainly. With slight interest, I tapped the screen, and names popped up on the directory. Lulu and Wakka… I couldn't talk to Wakka about this. The man was good at calming me down, but… calling up Wakka would just be awkward. Tidus. Now there was a guy that I could chat about this with. He'd listen, he'd laugh with me, not at me… I was decided. I selected his name and waited as the sphere waves connected.

He answered with a laugh. "Hey, Rik-" he paused for a moment "Gippal?"

"Yeah…"

"Hey, how've you been? Long time no chat… sorry, I just assumed that the call was from Djose and it would be Rikku, but I should have realized that other people could be calling from the same area, that was kin-"

"Tidus, man… shut up."

"Heh, okay. I'm rambling a lot today."

"Yeah… me too." We laughed, and I sighed uncomfortably.

On the screen, Tidus looked a little confused. "So, uh… something wrong? You never call, this is kinda, you know… out of the blue."

I shook my head and waved my hands around, sitting back in my chair. "No, no, nothing's wrong. But I did call for a reason. I need to talk to someone before I pull my hair out."

"You sound like a chick, dude."

"Pathetic, I know… but I'm serious."

Tidus just laughed for a moment before calming down and leaning back in his chair. "Okay, what do you need to chat about, missy?"

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Rikku."

"Of course, of course, how did I know that was coming? What about her?"

I sighed heavily. "Cid called me to Bikanel the other day…"

"Uh-oh…"

"Exactly. He's scary, even if I like to pretend he isn't."

"Yeah, he's scary. Ever seen him with an airship full of missiles?"

I whistled appreciatively. "No, thank the Fayth."

"I'm not so lucky... but, anyway, carry on. What did he want to talk about?"

"He gave me something." With a whine, I turned away from the CommSphere and pulled that something out of the drawer.

"Something? What some- woah… shiny." I held up the ring for him to see, a slightly miserable expression on my face. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yeah. He wants to know when I'm going to propose. I guess he's tired of waiting. But honestly?"

"Honestly what? Don't you want to propose? I'm sure you do." Tidus was carefully analyzing the ring, his voice more serious now that he'd seen the catalyst of my frustration.

"Of course I do, but really, I didn't even think about it until he gave me this! I was comfortable where we were, and now… now I'm kinda like a nervous wreck on steroids." Tidus chuckled at me. "I'm not joking! Telan made a noise earlier while I was looking at the thing and I was all startled and looking around. Not good!"

"No, not good, but… expected." Tidus sighed heavily for a moment, tapping his finger on the CommSphere. "You, mister, need to think about what you want."

"I think I already know what I want."

"Okay, then ask the girl to marry you."

"Yeah, but… Tidus, what if she doesn't want to marry me? What if she's just staying here and living with me out of pity? What if-"

"Man, shut up. Would Rikku of all people stay with you if she didn't want to?"

"No…"

"Would she have even risked having a baby with you if she didn't want to be with you?"

"I guess not…"

"Would she turn you down?"

"… my mind and my heart are not in agreement on the answer to that question, Ti."

He sighed heavily and threw his hands up in the air in aggravation. "There's always the possibility, yes, but she won't tell you no. I spent too many hours lying with her on a very cold beach in some very cold sand staring up at a very dark sky talking about you for her to say no."

I began to laugh at that statement, and he nodded in satisfaction. "So she won't say no, then?"

"No, she's gonna say yes. I know she's gonna say yes."

"How do you know that?"

"The same way you do. She's Rikku." He looked at me with a smile on his face. "Listen, Gippal… back during the pilgrimage… the first time I met her, I knew that there was something about her, you know? This honesty that just played on her emotions and was completely unintended. It's just something about her. You can read what she feels, you know, and I know that she loves you. She saved my life back then. I love her, too, you know, she's my best friend. She deserves the best, to get what she wants. And she wants you. So ask her, already, and stop stressing out over it."

I grinned, breathing out a sigh of relief. "Well, that's good… at least I know I have your approval, now."

"You're an idiot if you thought you didn't have my approval."

"Gee, thanks." I placed the ring back in the box and was putting it back inside the drawer when his next question startled me.

"So, you two sleepin' together yet?"

"Excuse me!" I asked, the expression on my face slightly horrified.

"You heard me. Just answer the question."

"How would you like it if I asked you about you and Yuna, hm?"

"I'd grin widely and say 'yes, indeed, we are, and it's good'." And proceeded to grin widely.

I began to laugh heartily, and he joined in. Once the laughter died down a long moment later, he tapped his foot impatiently. "Well?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And it's just as good as it used to be. Better, actually."

"Oooh, steamy." I laughed at him again and shrugged, blushing a bit. Really, I never talked to anyone about this kind of thing.

"Kinda, yeah."

"Well, see, there's another reason not to be stressed out. Sex is good, love is there, ring is in hand… I say go for it."

I nodded and he grinned back. "Thanks, man."

"Hey, no problem. And we'd better see the two of you down here in two weeks for the celebration."

"Oh, right… Eternal Calm…"

"Yep. Yuna will be thoroughly depressed if you aren't here, so… bring her cousin, this year. I know that Rikku wasn't here last year, so… it would be nice for all of us to be together again on that day, you know? "

I grinned. "Yeah… count on us being there."

Okay, so, this chapter done… next one will be up next week sometime. Hopefully I can get two done next week, because of Thanksgiving, but I have to wait til I finish my college apps! See you, thanks for all the reviews and for reading. Thanks to FairyIce!

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