Body Swap AU
Chapter summary: After an incredibly rare astronomical event, Sokka and Zuko swap bodies and chaos ensues. Sokka becomes the first flat-earther. This reads like a bad fever dream. Everyone is OOC. Sorry in advance.
Chapter rating: M
Chapter genre: Humor
A celebration was in order. Not only was it Zuko's 25th birthday, but it was also the first time Team Avatar and friends had gathered together in a long while. With all the friends spread across the world doing their parts to maintain peace following the war, it was difficult to get together like this, but alas, here they all were, hanging out in the Fire Nation Royal Palace gardens, just like old times. The sun had just begun to set, and everyone was in high spirits, well… everyone but Aang, who seemed apprehensive about something.
"Hey, you guys… I just had one of my annoying spiritual Avatar visions. I think we're in trouble."
"What's going on, Sweetie?" Katara asked.
"Something weird is about to happen. A super rare astronomical event." He paused for dramatic effect. "The solar-lunar blue blood moon eclipse."
Everyone looked around at each other, puzzled.
"The whose-a-ma-whats-it?" Toph questioned. "Blue blood what?"
"A solar eclipse that happens at the same time as a lunar eclipse that also takes place during a blue blood moon."
"Well, a blue moon is the second full moon in a month," Katara explained.
"And a blood moon happens during a total lunar eclipse," Azula added.
"But it's impossible for a solar eclipse to happen the same time as a lunar eclipse," Sokka jumped in. "A lunar eclipse is when the earth passes between the moon and the sun, and, as I'm sure we all remember, a solar eclipse is when the moon passes between the earth and the sun."
Ty Lee wrinkled her nose in confusion.
"So you see," Sokka continued, "these two things cannot coincide. Your vision must be some random Avatar mumbo-jumbo. Everything's gonna be fine."
"I don't know," Aang said, fretting. "I have a bad feeling about this. Just… be careful, everyone, okay?"
"Okay…" the group acknowledged.
"Ugh," Zuko grumbled. "Of course this is happening today of all days. My royal birthday is ruined!" He sighed exasperatedly and sulked off by himself near the turtleduck pond. Sokka followed him.
"Hey, turn that frown upside down, birthday boy!" Sokka said, trying to cheer up the Grump Lord.
He sighed again and plopped down in the grass.
Sokka took a seat next to him. "Are you really that worried about Aang's premonition?"
"Well, yeah, kinda. It sounds pretty ominous to me. I just have the worst luck." He ran his hand over his face. "I just wanted one day, one day, when nothing went wrong. A day when I could just sit back and party with my friends, but no, now I have to worry about this stupid solar-lunar eclipse thing. As if my responsibilities as Fire Lord weren't enough…"
"Zuko, listen to me. The solar-lunar eclipse thing can't happen. It's impossible."
"I guess we'll see."
Sokka gave him a sympathetic look. "For what it's worth, I think you're doing a great job as Fire Lord. It's impressive how much you've accomplished. I wish I – ah, never mind."
"What?"
"Nah, it's nothing."
"Sokka…"
"I don't know," he sighed. "I guess I've just been feeling a bit… useless. Ever since the war ended. I mean, all you guys are off doing amazing things, and I've just been dicking around with my hands in my pants."
"Bro, I wish I had time to dick around with my hands in my pants!"
"And I wish I had more responsibilities. More respect! More power. I wish…"
As if compelled by some outside force, Zuko and Sokka turned to each other and simultaneously placed their hands on each other's shoulders. "I WISH I WAS YOU!" they shouted. The sky above began to darken. The super rare astronomical event Sokka had deemed impossible was in fact beginning.
Right there in the palace gardens, the group watched in awe, shock, and horror as the sky darkened around them, casting an eerie dark red hue all about, and then in a matter of minutes, complete daylight as if it were high noon. Then the sky darkened again and they could see the complete shadow on the moon, then it was day again, and then back to sunset.
"Holy shit," Mai whispered.
Azula shook her head with disbelief. "Well, I'll be damned."
"Is everyone okay?" Ty Lee asked, turning to the rest of the group. "Did anything strange happen?"
Katara stood with her mouth agape, looking down at her trembling hands.
"Wait, it's over?!" Toph barked. "I didn't feel a damn thing!"
Suki snickered. "Probably didn't help that you were facing the wrong way the whole time."
"You guys, you guys!" Aang shouted frantically. "I saw Yue! She appeared to me. I-I tried to find Sokka but he wasn't here."
"Did she say anything?" Azula asked.
"No, but she looked pissed."
"Hm."
"Katara…" Aang said, concerned. "Are you okay?"
"No, I'm not okay!" she snapped. "Didn't you see what happened?!"
"Yeah, it was… pretty wild."
"No, not in the sky! To me! Did you see what happened to me?!"
Everyone looked around awkwardly at each other, grimacing.
"I firebended!" Katara huffed. "I freaking firebended!"
Azula rolled her eyes.
"Yeah… sure you did," Toph said, clearly not believing her.
"I did! Columns of orange flames shot out from my hands! Please tell me someone saw it." Katara turned to her boyfriend. "You believe me, don't you, Sweetie?"
"Uhhh…" Aang was saved from answering that question when Sokka and Zuko came running up to the rest of the group. "Hey Sokka! I was looking all over for you!"
"Yeah, apparently Aang saw your moon ex-girlfriend," Azula sneered.
"Wait, really?" Sokka asked. "You saw Yue?"
"Yeah! And she looked angry. Do you have any idea what could have made her so upset?"
"Ehh, well…" Sokka awkwardly scratched the back of his head. Azula shot him a look and he straightened up.
"So, Mr. Science," Toph taunted. "How'd ya explain the… the…"
"The solar-lunar blue blood moon eclipse," Aang finished for her.
"Yeah, that!"
"I don't know!" Sokka cried. "It goes against everything I've learned, everything I understand. But you know what, that's science for you. Our understanding of it is always changing. But I'm going to devote all my time to figuring it out. You can bet on that."
Zuko awoke the following morning feeling disoriented. He blinked at the ceiling and realized he wasn't in his room – he was in one of the guest rooms. Panicked, he jolted out of bed only to discover that he wasn't wearing his royal sleep robe. "What the fuck is going on?" he said to himself, rushing over to the mirror.
All the color drained from his face, and it was still darker than it should have been. He very nearly fainted. His face wasn't his own. His body wasn't his own. Somehow in the madness of the solar-lunar eclipse, his soul had entered Sokka's body. He wondered if everyone had traded places or if it was just Sokka and him, but either way, he knew he had to find Sokka immediately.
Sokka was in the Fire Lord's decadent royal bedroom, already up and at 'em. He was clearly taking full advantage of the situation, having servants wait on him hand and foot. Some were serving him food; some were massaging his shoulders. Zuko noticed that several of his servants were lying down on the floor in an odd, yet somewhat familiar pattern. "Sokka, what are you – "
"Sokka!" Sokka interrupted, "Good morning, my friend! Come in, come in. Still referring to yourself in the third person, I see. You always were eccentric. And so smart and handsome too."
Zuko scowled.
With a wave of his hand, Sokka dismissed the servants. "Close the door on the way out, 'kay thanks bye!" He exhaled deeply after the door shut and he and Zuko were alone. "So…"
"So…"
"Looks like we've switched bodies."
"No shit!" Zuko spat.
"It's pretty great, isn't it?" Sokka grinned. "I've never been so pampered in all my life. I could really get used to this, you know."
"Well don't!"
"Hey, nice dong, by the way!"
"Thanks…" Zuko said. "Wait, what?! You checked?!"
"What, you didn't?" Sokka asked, cocking his head.
"No!"
"Really? I've already jerked off like three times!" He sighed. "Don't look at me like that. Your firebender body got me up early, I've been awake for hours! What else was I supposed to do?"
"I don't know! Anything else! Like, oh, I don't know… figure out how this happened and how we can switch back!"
"Yeah, you know, I've been thinking about that, and – "
"And…"
"And I figured we must have switched because we said, 'I wish I was you,' right as the solar-lunar eclipse started, as cliché as that sounds."
"Cliché?!" Zuko questioned. "Well if this sort of situation is common enough for it to be 'cliché', then how the hell do we switch back?!"
"I have no idea!"
Zuko's, well Sokka's, face fell.
"But if anyone is able to help us, it's Aang. Weird spirit stuff happens to him all the time. I'm sure he can figure it out."
"Fine, let's go talk to Aang then." Zuko thought for a moment. "Should we tell anyone else?"
"Nah, I think it's best if no one finds out about this."
"Fine." He paused. "So… what were you having my servants do on the floor?"
"Ah, I'm glad you asked!" Sokka's eyes, well Zuko's eyes, brightened. "I'm working on a new theory. Your servants were acting as a live-action map of the earth. See this grapefruit? That's the sun. And this mango is the moon."
"Okay…"
"I've run several simulations, and I just couldn't get the solar-lunar eclipse to work out, at least while the servants were standing up on their feet in a spherical formation."
Zuko raised an eyebrow.
"That's when I had them lie down on the floor. You see… I've come to the conclusion that the earth is not a sphere – it's flat!"
"No freaking way."
"Yes freaking way. You ever notice how all of our maps are flat?"
"Whoa. You're right."
"Yeah, anyway, spread the word. I'm gonna keep working on it, but I'm feeling pretty good about this." Sokka yawned, stretching his arms above his head. "Why don't you try to find Aang?"
"Okay," he nodded. "Good idea."
"And don't forget, you're Sokka, not Zuko. So act like it!"
As Zuko left the Fire Lord's bedroom, he realized that he, in the chaos of it all, forgot to change out of his pajamas. So before he went to find Aang, he went back to the guest room in which Sokka was staying to get dressed.
He closed the door quickly behind him and took off his shirt.
"Hey there, handsome," a voice purred from the bed.
"AHHH!" he screamed. "A-Azula?! What the hell are you doing here?"
"Well, I know it's early but…" She rolled over onto her side and raked her eyes over his body. "You must have realized what Yue was so pissed off about, and I thought it would be fun to make her even more angry." She pulled the knot tying her silk robe together, exposing her chest. "Wouldn't you?"
"Sweet Spirits!" He turned away from her, his face bright red.
"What's wrong, Sokka?" she asked, rising from the bed, now completely naked besides her underwear. "You need a little… encouragement?" She walked closer to him.
He grabbed her shoulders, keeping her at arm's length and his eyes as far away as they could possibly get. "W-We can't do this, I can't do this. Oh, Spirits, I really can't do this."
She looked hurt. "What? You don't care for me anymore? You were just begging for it yesterday!"
"No, no, it's not that!" He sighed exasperatedly. "I don't know how to explain this. I didn't want to explain this, but… I'm not Sokka."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "What do you mean you're not Sokka? How stupid do you think I am?!"
"No really! After that stupid solar-lunar eclipse thing, Sokka and I switched bodies."
"Wait, does that mean…" Her jaw clenched and her eyes shot wide open as she remembered who Sokka was with during the dual eclipses. "Zuko?! No… no, no, no, no, no." She ran over to the bed and threw on her robe. "Wait…" She looked back up at him with skepticism. "If this is not some sadistic way of calling things off with me, then I'm going to need some proof that you're really Zuko and not Sokka."
"Okay, how can I prove it?"
"Say something dumb."
"Okay, umm…" Zuko thought for a moment. "Dumplings are just steamed sandwiches."
"Hm." She stared at him, her face flat. "That doesn't really prove anything. Say something smart."
"Oh, oh, I know!" Zuko said confidently. "Did you know the earth is actually flat?"
She gave him another blank stare.
"It's true! That's why all the maps are flat!"
"I could smack you right now, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard anyone say."
"But it's – "
"Okay, well at least you've convinced me. You're definitely Zuko. Wait…" She jumped to her feet with flames in her hands.
"What?! What now?!"
"When I disrobed, you had a boner! Don't think I didn't see that!"
"It wasn't like that!" Zuko cried. "It was a fear boner! It happens to all guys – it's perfectly normal!"
She growled, eyeing him suspiciously. "But you thought about it. For a second, you thought about it."
"Thought about what?"
"Nailing me."
His lips thinned into a line.
"Your silence signifies your shame."
"Didn't know you and Sokka were hooking up, by the way," he said, changing the subject.
"Yeah, well, guess the owl-cat's out of the bag now, isn't it."
After Zuko's incredibly uncomfortable encounter with his sister, he finally set out to find Aang. All he wanted to do was get back into his own body and have everything go back to normal, however, it seemed the universe had other plans for him.
"Hey, Snoozles! Get over here."
It took a second for Zuko to realize Toph was talking to him. "You know, Toph, now really isn't the best – "
"What do you have to do that's better than spending some quality time with me?!"
"Ahh, well, you see, I was just on my way to the bathroom. All that Fire Nation meat from yesterday is about to make a dramatic exit, so, uhhh, I'm gonna be in there a while." Zuko was proud of his quick cover. He sounded just like Sokka.
"Nah, I don't think so. I have better plans for you." An evil grin spread across her cheeks. "You know what time it is."
"Umm," he choked. "I do?"
"It's time you give me a good ol' foot scrubbing!"
"Huh, what?!"
"Oh, come on. No one scrubs my feet quite like you do. You always get right in there between the toes."
Zuko held his hand up to his mouth as if he were going to be sick, his face scrunching with disgust.
"Besides, you owe me, Snoozles."
"For what?!"
"For keeping your secret!" Toph grinned. "You know… about that dream you had… about a certain firebender…"
"You know, Toph, I really don't care anymore who knows about me and Azula – "
"Azula?! I was talking about Zuko! You're fucking Azula?! Since when?!"
"Ah fuck, you know what, just forget I said anything – "
"No way! Now I really own your ass."
"Okay, fine, fine," Zuko acquiesced. "Let's get scrubbing."
"Excellent," she sneered, rubbing her hands together.
"And, uhh, while we're doing that… why don't you refresh my memory about that dream I had."
Sokka was slaving over the desk in the Fire Lord's study when Azula snaked her way in. Several maps were strewn across the office, along with various pieces of fruit and some peculiarly placed mirrors.
"Azula! My sister!" he greeted, picking his head up. "What can I do for you?"
"Hmm, that's a great question," she smirked as she walked over to him. Biting her lip, she took a seat on his lap and draped her arms around his neck.
"Whoa, what are you – "
"You asked what you could do for me, and well, I had a few things in mind…"
"Uhh, uhhhh, I don't think this is appropriate, I mean, ummm, well, maybe – "
She started snickering right in his face.
"You know about the switch, don't you."
"I really had you going there, didn't I?" she grinned.
"Yeah," he chuckled. "Although… it would have been pretty funny, right? If someone were to walk in and catch us in the act."
"Psh, as if I would actually have sex with you while you're in my brother's body."
"Well he does have a pretty nice dong."
"What?"
"Nothing." He looked at her with mischief in his eyes. "But you know… I've been working so hard all day trying to figure this whole solar-lunar eclipse thing out, and… you know how frustrating it is to not be able to solve a problem…"
"Where are you going with this?"
He smirked. "I'm just sayin', it would probably be helpful if I could relieve some of this tension."
"You dirty deer-dog…" she drawled.
"And besides, when else would we get an opportunity like this?"
"What, fuck while you're in my brother's body?"
"Well it's weird when you say it like that!" Sokka sighed. "Just think of it as a unique experience, an experience that will never, ever happen again."
"Hmm…"
"Now why don't you be a good girl and close the door, and I'll fuck you right here on Zuko's desk."
Her cheeks flushed as she got up from his lap to close the door. But before she went back over to the desk, she walked briskly over to the closet. "I have another idea…" She pulled out an ornate robe and smirked. "Put this on." She walked back over to him and handed him the garment.
His brow furrowed. "Isn't this Ozai's?"
"Shhh," she cut him off, placing a finger to his lips. "Daddy…"
"Spirits, you're a freak and I fucking love it!" he growled, slipping on the robe. "Now get on the desk."
Following the disgusting foot scrubbing and the sinful, sprits-forsaken tryst on Zuko's desk, all the friends met in the dining room for dinner, where Zuko took the opportunity to pull Aang aside.
"Aang, I really need to talk to you."
"What's going on, Sokka?"
"Well, that's the thing," Zuko whispered. "I'm not Sokka. I'm Zuko."
"Huh?"
"We switched bodies after the solar-lunar eclipse."
"You what?!" he shouted. "You switched bodies?! I warned you guys to be careful!"
Everyone abruptly turned to them, their mouths agape. Their secret was out.
"Ugh," Zuko groaned, looking over at Sokka. "Guess it's time we come clean."
"Guess so," Sokka agreed. He turned to address the group and cleared his throat. "Yeah, so… right before the solar-lunar eclipse, Zuko and I said, 'I wish I was you,' and when we woke up this morning, we were in each other's bodies."
The group went silent, up until Toph burst out cackling. "I knew it! I knew it all along!"
"What?!" Zuko barked. "But you made me – you mean Sokka doesn't really scrub your feet?!"
Sokka's face, which appeared to be Zuko's face, recoiled in disgust.
"I was just fucking with you!" she taunted.
Zuko, obviously traumatized by the memory, lowered his head in shame. "She made me descale them…."
Sokka threw his friend's arm around his own shoulder to comfort him. "That's rough, buddy."
"Not anymore!" Toph rejoiced, wiggling her freshly filed down toes. "But don't worry, I'm working on building that back up for ya!"
"But what about all that blackmail?!" Zuko questioned, shouting out with rage.
"I lied! Sokka never had a sex dream about you. I made the whole thing up."
"Well…" Sokka said in an innocent singsong voice, shrugging.
"But now thanks to you, I really do have dirt on Sokka, so thanks for that, Sparky!"
"What?!" Sokka questioned. "What did you tell her?!"
"N-Nothing! I'll tell you later – can we just focus on the matter at hand?" Zuko turned to Aang. "How do we switch back?"
"How the hell should I know?!"
"You're the Avatar!"
"Oh, right!" Aang grew pensive. "Well, in my vast Avatar knowledge… unfortunately you're going to have to wait for this super rare astronomical event to happen again."
"WHAT?!" Zuko and Sokka cried out.
"But there's hope!" Aang continued. "As luck would have it, it's happening again tonight!"
Azula narrowed her eyes at him. "So what you're saying is, this super, impossibly rare event is happening two days in a row?"
"Yep! This one happens to be a twofer! Isn't that great?"
"Wait, Aang, aren't you forgetting something?" Ty Lee asked, smiling mischievously.
"Hm?"
"When I was young, I heard this folktale in my home village about body swapping. In order to undo the curse, the people who wish to switch back need to kiss during a celestial event."
"Oh, yeah! That's right! Thanks for reminding me, Ty Lee. That's a very important part."
Azula, Mai, and Suki snickered.
"Wait, really?" Zuko asked. "We have to kiss?"
"What's so wrong with that?!" Sokka pouted. "I'm a great kisser!"
"Yeah, I'm afraid so," Aang confirmed.
Zuko frowned. "Like, with tongue?"
"Yep!" Ty Lee answered, while Aang replied with the exact opposite response. "Well, come to think of it, the folktale never specified, but you probably should. You know, to be safe."
"Whatever," Zuko muttered.
"Hey, Sokka," Suki said, changing the subject. "Have you figured out how the solar-lunar eclipse thing works yet?"
Before Sokka could answer, Zuko jumped in. "Yeah, he did! Sokka, tell them about the flat-earth theory you've been working on."
"Flat-earth theory?" Mai said derisively. "You're kidding, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, no," Sokka said dismissively. "That theory's beyond stupid. Anyone who could believe something like that is a complete moron."
Zuko growled.
"But I have a new theory! Get this." Sokka waved his hand in front of him in a rainbow arch. "Sky mirrors."
Everyone groaned and rolled their eyes.
"You laugh now, but I'm on to something here. You'll see."
"Hey, shouldn't we get outside?" Katara asked. "It's almost sunset."
The group gathered outside once again to observe the solar-lunar blue blood moon eclipse, an event that was so exceedingly rare that no one had ever heard of it before yesterday. Zuko and Sokka faced each other, staring intently into their own faces, as the sky began to darken. Just as the sun dipped beneath the horizon, the two young men leaned in toward each other and shared a surprisingly tender kiss. With just the right amount of tongue. Aw yeah.
"Oooooh!" Ty Lee squealed with delight.
"I wish I could see it," Toph muttered.
Azula wasn't sure whether to grin or scowl. She settled on both.
They pulled back and… nothing. Not only did they not switch back, but the astronomical event never happened.
"HAH!" Aang taunted, pointing and fighting to talk through a bout of laughter. "Made you kiss!"
Zuko's and Sokka's mouths fell open, their cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
"That was a little mean, don't you think?" Katara derided.
"Ah come on, Sugar Queen," Toph said. "You of all people should know Aang's an incurable prankster."
"Wait, so does this mean the eclipses aren't happening?" Zuko asked, fretting.
"What part of 'super rare' don't you understand?!" Aang laughed, holding his sides. "How would you even have two 'second full moons of the month' in a row? The solar-lunar blue blood moon eclipse won't happen again for many, many lifetimes."
"Are you saying we're gonna be stuck like this forever?!" Sokka cried.
"Dude…" Zuko murmured, looking down at Sokka's lap. "Are you hard?!"
"It's a fear boner, okay?!"
Zuko turned to Azula. "Told you that was a thing!"
Azula rolled her eyes.
It totally wasn't a thing.
All of a sudden, a hole in the sky ripped open and an oddly dressed, seemingly Water Tribe man popped out.
"Holy shit, what the fuck?!" Toph yelped, feeling the presence of another person appear out of thin air.
"Time voyage!" the man shouted boastfully with a wide grin, doing finger guns at the group.
"Who the hell are you?" Mai asked.
"The name's Varrick. I come from… the future!"
"Whoaaaa," the friends said in unison.
"No freaking way!" Sokka said, getting excited. "I have so many questions!"
"Hey, you're young Fire Lord Zuko, aren't you? You look just like your statue!"
"No, actually I'm his friend Sokka. We swapped bodies yesterday during this super rare astronomical event, it's hard to explain, you kinda had to be there – "
"Well lucky for you, I believe anything is possible! Even things that are impossible, I'm the man to make them happen," Varrick gloated. "Just you wait until Avatar Korra's time…" He turned to Aang. "Well, you'll be dead by then."
Aang swung his arm, snapping his fingers. "Monkey feathers."
"But you'll also get your own statue, overlooking Republic City!"
"That's awesome!"
"Varrick," Katara said, her blue eyes wide with wonder, "what can you tell me about my future?"
"Ah, you're Katara! You're going to live a long, happy life, I can tell you that. In fact, you're going to become the greatest healer in the world."
"Wow!"
"You're going to marry the Avatar, and together you'll raise three children: Bumi, Kya, and Tenzin."
"I'm going to cry," Katara said, choking up.
"Are any of them airbenders?" Aang asked eagerly.
"Yes!" Varrick answered. "Tenzin. Well Bumi too, but he's a late bloomer – "
"Now I'm going to cry." Aang reached over and hugged his girlfriend.
"Wait, one more question," Katara managed to get out while she continued to tearbend. "Where's my statue located? The Southern Water Tribe?"
"You don't get one."
"WHAT?!"
"Okay, who's next?"
"Ooh, me! Me!" Sokka shouted, waving his hand.
"Ah yes, Sokka, who's in the body of Fire Lord Zuko. You're going to marry Princess Azula and live happily ever after."
Suki, Katara, Aang, Mai, and Ty Lee all turned to Sokka at once. "HUH?!"
"Yeah, they're boning," Toph smirked.
"Hey, you're Toph Beifong, aren't you?" Varrick asked. "You still look pretty much the same in your ripe old age."
"Bitchin'."
"Would you like to hear about your future?"
"Yeah sure." She shrugged. "Why not?"
"You run your own police academy of metalbenders – "
"I'm so awesome!"
" – and you have two daughters, Lin and Suyin."
"Oh, no way," Toph scowled. "I settle down?!"
"No, you never get married. You have your first daughter with a man named Kanto. No one really knows where Suyin came from. Rumor has it, Suyin came from a rock."
"Wait, you can get pregnant from that?!"
Suki raised an eyebrow. "Pregnant from what exactly…?"
"Never mind…"
"Okay, what about me?" Zuko asked. "I'm the real Zuko, by the way."
"Ah yes! In a much more handsome body."
"Hah!" Sokka taunted.
Zuko frowned.
"You're going to have a beautiful daughter, Izumi, who later becomes – "
"Wait," Zuko interrupted. "With whom? Who's Izumi's mother?"
Mai and Suki glared at each other threateningly.
"You mean you don't know?" Varrick started laughing. "Okay, moving on, who's next?"
"What can you tell me about my future?" Ty Lee asked, batting her eyes at Varrick.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Ty Lee!"
"Oh… never heard of you."
She scoffed, never having looked so offended in all her life.
"Anyway, one thing you should all know about your future, and something I probably should have led with, is that you all have to follow your futures perfectly just as described, or else you'll create a time paradox and we'll all be fucked! Especially me!"
"Makes sense," Sokka said nonchalantly. "Wait, so does that mean you always go back in time and tell us all of this stuff, including the fact that time voyage is possible which is definitely going to be an obsession of mine for the rest of my life?"
"No idea! We're kinda in uncharted territory here. Fortunately, that's the most fun kind of territory!"
"You're not worried this could go horribly wrong?" Katara asked, concern for her future tribesman turning her face toward worry.
"Nah, these things always seem to work out fine for me. Must be fate! Plus, if I've learned anything from being around the Avatar and their friends, it's that I can trust you guys with my life."
Team Avatar and friends could feel a wave of uncharacteristic sincerity emanate from the eccentric man from the future.
Aang, feeling mildly guilty about his prank, adopted a more serious demeanor. "Hey, Varrick. Since you're from the future, do you know anything about bodyswapping? Do you know how it can be reversed?"
"Hmm…" Varrick scratched his head. "Did they try kissing?"
"Yeah," Zuko answered. "Didn't work."
"Ah, well, that's a shame. Anyway, I've got to get going now. The longer I stay here, the more likely a time paradox will occur."
"Wait!" Sokka hollered. "I have one more question! How does time voyaging work?"
"Well, that's a complicated question, but basically, you have to collect concentrated, unstable spirit energy, bundle it together, and bounce it off the sky mirrors using some very precise calculations."
"I knew it! See?" Sokka boasted, turning to his friends. "What did I tell you guys?! Sky mirrors!"
"Alright, well I'm off! Goodbye everyone!" Varrick stepped back into the portal.
"Bye!" the friends said, waving goodbye.
"NOOOOO, I forgot to carry the two! Oh for the love of the Spirits!" Varrick shrieked as the portal gradually shrank around him. "It's all unraveling! My parents never meet! You have to fix this! You have to save me! You have to…" he trailed off as he faded out of existence.
"That was weird," Mai murmured.
Suki's brow furrowed. "What was weird?"
"You're right." Mai, as well as everyone else, forgot all about meeting Varrick, as he had destroyed his own timeline and thus never visited. "What were we just talking about?"
"I don't know," Ty Lee said, glowering, "but suddenly I feel very insecure that I'm never going to make a name for myself."
Feeling defeated, Sokka and Zuko headed back inside the palace, with their friends following closely behind. They sauntered back into the dining room for some dessert, but not even the decadent sweets could improve their melancholy mood.
"We're never gonna switch back," Zuko huffed, slouching into his chair.
"I think you may be right." Sokka sighed melodramatically. "At first, I really enjoyed getting to be Fire Lord and all the perks that come with that, but now… I miss being in my own body."
Azula crossed her arms. "Did you ever try simply saying you want to switch back?"
"Uhh, yeah," Sokka scoffed, lying. "Obviously the first thing we tried was saying – "
"I WANT TO SWITCH BACK!" Sokka and Zuko announced at the same time, turning to face each other.
"Hey, it worked!" Toph grinned. "I can feel it!"
"Whoa!" Zuko exhaled, examining his own hands. "Feels good to be back."
"I'll say." Sokka shook his head. "What a crazy day."
"Idiots," Azula muttered.
"So, buddy…" Zuko said, staring Sokka down. "When were you gonna tell me you were fucking my sister?"
"I don't know," Sokka grimaced for a second, "but just for full disclosure, I dressed up as your dad and we did it in your body on your desk and she liked it, happy birthday!"
"WHAT?!"
Author's Note: Special shoutout to my husband who helped me come up with ideas for this story!