How to Tick Your Neighbor Off in Three Minutes or Less

By Kuro Doragon Enko

Summary- Sango Akiyama has a rather normal life, at least until a certain guy moves in next door. When the most annoying neighbor in history just happens to move in next door, how long will she be able to stand it without killing the guy?

Genre- Romance, Humor, and slight Drama/Angst

Pairings- MirokuSango, InuyashaKagome, ShippoSouten, RinKohaku, SesshomaruKagura, and AyameKouga.

Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha, unless you count all the manga and anime I have accumulated.

A/N- Here is chapter 5! Enjoy! Oh, and thanks to all my reviewers!

Chapter 5

Date thy Neighbor

Operation payback had started about three days ago…and hell had erupted since. I was constantly watching my back, trying to make sure that Akimura didn't try to get me back, and then became even more nervous when he just gave me a knowing smirk that just promised something horrible would happen, and trust me it did.

It had happened during a simple game of 'Truth or Dare' and I had been given the worst dare ever. So horrible that I can barely think about it. I had been dared to either go on a date with Akimura or make out with Kuranosuke, and well…I did the first thing that came to my mind. Date Akimura. Ugh…two words that should never be in the same sentence.

Now that I think about it…I probably should've picked Kuranosuke…but…there was no way my virgin lips were touching his, I mean…the guy would get obsessed and then start stalking me! He would be almost as bad as Houjo the Hobo. But the really surprising thing was who had asked me to do the dare. Most of you are probably thinking its Akimura.

Phft. Yeah right. It was dear little Kagome-chan. Take off the dear and the little and you're left with the most conniving matchmaker in history…worst of all, she had her sites set on me and Akimura. The sheer possibilities can give you the darkest nightmares. Trust me, I know I have them.

The, oh so wonderful dare was to happen tonight. Happily that was about five hours from now, and now…for some odd reason, I'm thanking Kami-sama for school. Anything that could prolong my date with Akimura was now considered holy. That includes probably the most hated of things in every teenager's life- school.

Five hours…those hours seemed wonderful, well…except for the fact that Akimura kept giving me that sly grin of his and Kuranosuke was making those eyes that love sick people get at each other, not that I mind when people do that…but I just plain abhor it when the eyes are made at me.

School unfortunately passed by way to quickly…and before I knew it, Kagome-chan and Ayame-chan were squealing excitedly while I glared ice at them.

During they're little squeal parade, they had decided to take me shopping. Kagome it seems, at that moment had forgotten she was the one who had dared me to go on the date and seemed intent on thinking that I had been asked out.

"Sango-chan...you'll need this for your date! Oh I just can't believe you actually got a date!" Kagome squealed, as Ayame bounced up and down with joy. Sheesh, is it just me or are those two on sugar pills?

Shopping on a date is torture, but being on the date is harder. Soon the doorbell rang, and I walked to greet him. I smiled.

"Konnichi wa." There in all his splendor and glory…stood Akimura Miroku. The guy I had been dared to date.

Akimura was smiling that wonderfully perverted smile of his…wait did I just say wonderful, forget that. He was smiling that annoyingly (a/n: Someone's in denial) perverted smile of his. The smile that made me want to punch his daylights out and then…well, let's just leave it at that.

Akimura gave me a grin, "So Sango-chan, where would you like to go?" Dimly in the background I could hear Kagome yelling 'Kawaii' in the background, and Ayame squealing along with her. Yup they're definitely on sugar pills.

I thought briefly and then sighed. "You decide."

Akimura looked surprised, as if I had gone against some foreign rule. "Why, Sango-chan! You're the lady, it is in my honor that I allow you to decide!"

I blinked, if anything, I hadn't expected this. "Umm…ok. How about…Michael Angelo's…you know…the Italian restaurant right next to the mall?"

Akimura gave a grin, and without the slightest hesitation he drove us there in the oh so wonderful Ferrari…speaking of that, I wonder where he got it, and being the girl I am, I asked him.

"Ohh…Inuyasha gave it to me." He said, looking slightly sheepish.

"Did you ask?" I ventured, growing slightly suspicious.

"Nope!" He said with a grin then he waved his hand dismissively. "It's not like he'll miss it anyways, he's got about seven other cars just like it."

When I looked skeptical, he gave a reassuring grin, "Hey, I'll return it!"

I left the conversation at that.

Before I knew it, we were there. I looked around nervously as I eyed the huge restaurant. Michael Angelo's was known for it's great food, but also for it's even bigger price. I felt slightly guilty for making Akimura take me to the most expensive restaurant in town, then thought better. Hey, he deserved it with all the times he had groped me.

Pretty soon we ordered food, my order being a lobster bisque with ziti pasta covered in a garlic white wine sauce. In other words- delicious. Akimura ordered a fairly simple thing, cheese ravioli covered in tomato sauce with a light salad.

Food came quickly and we kept our talk to a minimum, and to my surprise Akimura never really said anything remotely perverted. As he paid the bill and we were leaving the restaurant he asked me something that surprised me.

"Say…Sango-chan, would it really be that hard to date me?" he asked, a serious look in his eye.

"What?" I replied.

"Would it be that hard to date me." He repeated.

"Well…no…" I looked slightly awkward. "I…I…can't really be that sure, that…I mean, you with your echhi behavior and…well, you flirt shamelessly with girls, I wouldn't know what to think. Would you just be doing it for fun? Or would you be doing that for real? I wouldn't know if I could trust you." I stated, looking down at me feet, not realizing as a smirk came onto Akimura's face.

"So, in other word's you'd be jealous, ne?" he said in the same tone he had been using earlier.

"Hai…" I blinked suddenly in realization, then growled at him, "Baka! You made me just…" I began to scream at him, and the screaming intensified as Akimura gave a cute little smirk.

"Hai, Sango-chan!" he squealed.

"You know, with that squeal, you sound awfully gay." I remarked with a glare as Akimura gave me a knowing smile.

"You never know! I might just be!" he said with a smirk, then eyeing my analyzing glare, he quickly reassured me, "Just kidding, I like women to much!" to prove his point he groped me then and there.

I blinked. And blinked again. Then I slipped. Well, figuratively speaking of course. I began to yell words that could probably make a sailor blush, and then proceeded to slap the baka silly. A few seconds later, Akimura was grinning with a red handprint that seemed to be the exact replica of my palm on his right cheek. As I got into his car, the rest of the ride was silent, Akimura's grin to wide for him to say anything, and my being to enraged to say anything the least bit comprehendible.

The ride passed pretty quickly then.

Soon, the ride was over, and Akimura was walking me to my door as I grudgingly walked alongside him, my attention on his hands and not on the soccer ball in front of me. It was too late when I did. I was falling, and then suddenly I stopped, surrounding my waist were Akimura's arms, the only thing keeping me from falling ungracefully on the ground. I was staring into his eyes and he staring into mine. Time seemed to stop.

Giving me a smile, Akimura set me down on my feet again, still looking into my face. Then coughing slightly in embarrassment, he mumbled something under his breath then turned away.

"Ja' Sango-chan!" and without missing a beat, Akimura Miroku left me staring into the place he had left.

Still in shock in shock, I went into my house and into my room, laying on my bed, I smothered my face in the pillow then looked up, a soft smile cresting my face.

"You know what…Akimura Miroku, you're not that bad at all." I whispered to the air, then the smile still on my lips, I fell asleep.

End Chapter 5

A/N: I hope you liked chapter five and I'm sorry about the late update, I've been having to get ready for school and all. And I give a big thanks to all my reviewers. Please continue to review…it makes my day all the better! Also any ideas and things are welcome, and this chapter is even longer then the last! Well, by about 300 words but anyways, Yay!

Reviewer Responses

Ameo66- Wow! Three 'I luv its'! - Glad you thought it was original!

Anzhellgrl (Anon)- You really think its good! I'm flattered!

Doray- Yup! That's Miroku for you…and Naraku being in this time and in school would most likely end up with a lot of mysterious disappearances.

Also, when Sango called Miroku 'chan' she was pretty much calling him 'little Miroku', which could mean that she was either mocking him, or flirting with him.

Lilsanoku105 (Anon)- Yup! I updated, and as for who is Sango's mysterious date, you'll have to look in this chapter to see who he is!

Veglma- Yup! Sango has such a devious mind…and as for how she got the date, well…lets just say it wasn't her choice…

Ema-Kasta- Glad you thought this chapter was good, well here's the update!

Moonyme- Believe it or not, I was actually going to make Sango use roadkill, then decided that dead frogs are much easier to handle, and much easier to find- you just have to go to the nearest science room! Glad you thought my ideas were good!

Pointy Objects- Glad you liked it…and did it really keep you laughing? I feel so proud!

Thanks again to all who reviewed! Sniff I feel so loved!

Dictionary

(Blank)- Commonly forgotten, it is a great honor if you have gotten permission to use a person's name without a suffix (-san, -chan, -sama, -kun), but it can also be a great insult if you aren't given permission to use it.

Echhi- Perverted

Hentai- Pervert

Kawaii- Cute

Hai- Yes

Ja'- Abbreviated version of Ja'ne, meaning good bye

-San- suffix similar to Ms, Mr, Mrs

-Sama- suffix similar to lord, lady

-Chan- A suffix commonly used for small children and young girls, it also means small and can be used mockingly or flirtatiously.

-Kun- A suffix commonly used for young boys, it can also be used for females (Honda Tohru from Fruits Basket is called 'Tohru-kun' by Shigure and Hatori)

Konnichi Wa- Hello

Preview of Next Chapter

Fear reverberated off of my entire body as I stared into flaming ruby red eyes that showed no remorse, then slowly, my gaze turned to the gun aimed strait for my forehead.

I was going to die.