How to Tick your Neighbor off in Three Minutes or Less

By Kuro Doragon Enkou

Summary- Sango Akiyama has a rather normal life, at least until a certain guy moves in next door. When the most annoying neighbor in history just happens to move in next door, how long will she be able to stand it without killing the guy?

Genre- Romance, Humor, and slight Drama/Angst

Pairings- MirokuSango, InuyashaKagome, ShippoSouten, RinKohaku, SesshomaruKagura, and AyameKouga.

Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha, unless you count all the manga and anime I have accumulated.

A/N: Well people, here's to chapter 6! Enjoy! Also, updates won't be as soon, I've got high school to go to, and lots of homework…

Chapter 6

The Nightmare from Hell

It isn't every day that you wake up to you're best friend calling you at 3:00am asking how your date went, well…let me rephrase that…it isn't that normal for me.

So here I am. Tired, cranky, and annoyed. Make that very annoyed and having to listen to a bubbly hyper active and probably sugar high Kagome. That equals very bad thing.

"So….Sango-chan! How was your date!" Kagome practically yelled into the phone, and adding as an after thought, "Tell me all the details!" It was more of a high-pitched chirp, like that of a cricket now that I think about it though.

I glared at the phone, paying no attention to Kagome's screeching then said coldly, "Kagome-chan…it's three in the morning. I have school tomorrow and so do you. Go to bed, you can get the info tomorrow…when I'm less likely to bite your head off." I said matter-of-factly, then hanging up before Kagome could say a word. Content that I had said my peace, I drifted off to what I hoped would be once again a peaceful slumber.

"Nee-chan! Nee-chan! Wake up!" The sound of Kohaku's voice brought me once again into the oh so wonderful realm of wakefulness. How kind of him, don't you agree?

I growled slightly, turning to stare at the clock to see what time it was, and oh, what a shock. 7:30. I was ready to fall asleep, until a fairly dark thought came into my mind. The bus came at eight.

Giving a slight scream I hurriedly got dressed. I was out of the house by 7:55, and at the bus stop by 7:57. The amazement.

"Ah! Sango-chan!" two high-pitched squeals caused me to wince and with a slightly forced smile I saw Kagome and Ayame skipping towards me.

"Ohayo…" I mumbled, already exhausted by what I knew was to come.

"Alright Sango-chan! Spill! What happened on your date? You have to tell us! Is he a good kisser, did he take you to a nice restaurant, was he romantic, was he courteous and gentlemanly! Did he compliment your clothes, what about a good night kiss! C'mon girl, you gotta spill!" Kagome yelled, before Ayame put her hand on Kagome's mouth; effectively shutting Kagome up. I still thank her for that.

"…." I stayed silent for a moment then tried my best to answer Kagome's questions. "Good kisser- don't know, nice restaurant-hai; courteous- yes, compliment- can't really remember, good night kiss- wouldn't allow him to touch-" I stopped abruptly as I felt a hand on my shoulder, and a voice that was all too familiar.

"Well, Sango-san! You wouldn't be gossiping about us now would you?" I winced, and turned around to stare face to face to Akimura.

"Now why would I do that?" I growled back, glaring at his oh so mighty smirk.

Akimura grinned at that, "Well, we are dating after all!" he said with a grin, and I deadpanned. I was dared, he really didn't think….oh kami-sama…I went into shock, while Kagome began to squeal outrageously loud.

"Kawaii! Sango-chan, can I be your brides made, and your kid's godmother! Oh and Miroku-kun, Inuyasha can be your best man…" Kagome gave a bright grin, beginning to decide on our wedding plans as the whole bus stared at my tomato red face and Akimura's trademark grin. Oh joy, a new topic to gossip about. Sociopath Akiyama Sango dates world-renowned hentai extraordinaire- Akimura Miroku.

Akimura gave a superior grin and then whispered into my ear, "What do you think of that Sango-chan…?" he said with that same smile, and I gave a low growl before slapping him upside the head.

"There is no way I'm going to get married to you! I want a guy who won't grope me every ten seconds!" I gave a glare and then continued, "And there is no way I'm washing your underwear!" I mumbled that quieter under my breath, sounding all the while like a sullen little kid, and I'm very proud of that fact.

"But Sango-chan! I don't wear under wear!" Miroku said with an innocent grin that caused my face to do an excellent imitation of a tomato.

At the look I gave him, a mix between horror, surprise, and something I don't want to say, he gave an other of his famous echhi grins.

"Ah, I was only kidding Sango-chan!" he said with a grin, causing my face to lessen it's bright hue before he whispered seductively, "But I can always make an exception for you…." At that, my face brightened up about ten times redder then the reddest tomato on earth, and was quickly followed by a stinging palm from slapping Akimura.

The bus ride to school passed slowly, and the school day even slower. And, oh to my joy, I was visited by the oh so wonderful, Kikyou Hiruma.

"So, Sango-chan…" Kikyou said with a dark smirk, pronouncing my name in a mockingly sweet voice that made me want to vomit all over again. "I hear you and Akimura are going out. A pity, poor boy. He'll have to deal with your violent personality…I feel sorry for the boy already." She said scathingly, and I smirked.

"Alas Hiruma-san, are you jealous that I can actually get a man? Hmmm?" I gave a grin, and then added, "Oh…Kikyou-chan" I spat her name out like poison, "…it's Akiyama-san to you." I then proceeded to leave Kikyou gawking there like a fish out of water, but I was stopped by the most unpleasant comment from one of Kikyou's prime followers- Koharu.

"Well Akiyama-san, haven't you kissed him yet, have you? I bet you didn't have the courage to kiss him either!" she squeaked and I gave a low growl. I knew I was going to regret doing this later but…hey, pissing Kikyou and friends off is one of my favorite pastimes, and to my luck Akimura was walking bye.

I gathered my resolve and did the most reckless thing I could ever do. I kissed Akimura. On the lips. In front of the entire school. I had given away my first kiss to the guy that I thought I hated.

I am such an idiot.

About three minutes after the kiss, I blinked as what I did finally dawned on me. I winced and then turned to see a very brightly grinning Miroku.

"Sango-chan! You really do like me!" He squealed before running up and hugging me, causing my air supply to quickly run out, to make matters even better, Kagome was staring at me with an 'I told you so' look and Inuyasha was standing there laughing his head off. Yup. Typical Inuyasha-so reassuring.

"Ack!" I squeaked as Akimura squeezed the living daylights out of me, and I quickly told him to let go, or else I would die of air loss. That made him let go fairly quickly.

"Aha! Sango-chan, I knew you liked Miroku-kun!" Kagome squealed and my face brightened.

"I didn't even mean to kiss him! Koharu and Kikyou were asking for it!" I pleaded in my defense, my face reddening as the entire school looked at me with wide eyes, as if the end of the world had come, and to me, it had.

And much to my horror, Akimura came up and patted me on the back, "It's ok Sango-chan, you don't have to be in denial any longer…" he said understandingly, as I looked at him in fear, "The school already knows about our relationship. Now we can hold the wedding sooner!" he said with a grin, glancing at my horrified face.

"Nani!" I shrieked. "I'm not in denial! I didn't even mean to kiss you! And what the hell was that about a wedding, there is no way in hell I'm getting married to you!" I screeched, and Akimura just patted my back again.

"Sango-chan, it's alright! Nobody cares!" he said sympathetically and Kagome and Ayame were already looking at a wedding dress catalogue.

I screamed in frustration and slapped him upside the head, trying to ignore when a student in the hall way yelled, "Hey, they really are getting married aren't they! I mean they argue like a married couple!" I wasn't able to ignore it unfortunately, and sent the kid a death glare. I think he got the point.

School passed by way to slow, as I had given it way too much to talk about. Millions of kids were coming up to me to congratulate me and a whole bunch of guys were hanging around Miroku, probably asking about echhi things.

Finally the school day was over and I moped to the bus, trying to ignore Kagome's squealing and glaring whenever Akimura slipped his arm around my shoulder and then glaring even more when Akimura gave a fancy parting speech when we left.

It seemed the only thing that brightened up my day was when I spotted my house. I grinned for the first time in a few hours, I was home. Nothing bad could happen there. Oh how wrong I was.

It was just when I had stepped into the house that I noticed something wrong. Chichue wasn't reading the paper in the living room…and Kohaku wasn't coming to the door to make a sarcastic remark about my coming home slightly late. I shuddered. Something about this made me feel strangely frightened.

I gulped and headed towards the living room, nobody there. The kitchen was next. I instantly regretted setting foot in there.

The first thing I saw was red. Red everywhere. Blood splattered the walls, and the floor. A shape on the ground. I walked towards it in a daze, thinking this all was a nightmare and bit back a scream. Chichue's sightless eyes staring back at me, his head separated from his body, his chest cavity ripped open, bullet holes all over his legs and stomach. I held back the urge to vomit. Yet something still nagged at me.

Kohaku was nowhere to be seen. Desperately I found the phone and called the first number that came to my mind.

"Moshi Moshi, Miroku speaking." The sound of Akimura's voice seemed to comfort me somehow, and with out a moment's hesitation I sobbed out what had happened and about Kohaku being missing. And then with out the slightest hesitation, Akimura told me to wait a moment and so he could call the police.

I nodded even though he couldn't see me and then hung up the phone hesitantly.

"Well little girl, called a friend perhaps?" the deep baritone behind me caused my body to stiffen. I turned around slowly and stared into the coldest eyes I had ever seen.

And quickly before I could react cold metal was pressed to my forehead. My body froze.

Fear reverberated off of my entire form as I stared into flaming ruby red eyes that showed no remorse, and then slowly, my gaze turned to the gun aimed strait for my forehead.

I was going to die.

The trigger being pulled, a shout, someone running towards me, falling, falling so far...that's all I could comprehend before my world went black.

End Chapter 6

A/N: I feel so evil with this chapter! Nothing like a cliffhanger to make your day huh? Well, any who, sorry about the late update, my modem crashed and there was nothing I could do about it sigh…but I did try to make this chapter extra long (well as long as I could without making it seem to long). Well, anyways, please read and review, and a big thanks to my reviewers! Oh just so you know, this chapter and probably chapters 7-8 will be a little dramatic, but don't worry, the humor element will be coming in fairly soon again.

Dictionary

Chichue- Father

Moshi Moshi- used when answering the phone

Hai- Yes

Ohayo- Good Morning

Hentai- Pervert

Echhi- Perverted

Nani- What

-chan, -san, -kun- Japanese suffixes

Nee-san- Elder sister

Reviewer Responses

Doray- Yourwelcome! You really thought this was witty and humourous? I am deeply honored!

LilSanoku105- Yup! It is very typical of Kagome to set people up, I just think its a part of her personality. And yeah, Miroku being gay is a very interesting thought, though its true, he does like girls a little too much to be gay.

Sangonesan- You love this story! Wow! I am so happy! An as for what he whispered...thats a secret! -

Pointy Objects- You can find out a little bit in this chapter, and lookie, I updated!

Veglma- Yup thats how she got the date, Kagome should be very proud!

SanMirLover- Yup, its supposed to be intense! And I agree with you, Miroku has no competition when it comes to Kuranosuke, I mean, who could love our little Miroku the echhi?

Moonyme- Yeah, I liked the falling part to!

Ameo66- Yup, Miroku stole the car, it just sounded like what I thought Miroku would do, don't you think so?

Preview of Chapter 7

"There…there's no way. Sango-chan can't be…"

"I'm very sorry Higurashi-san, we don't think…"

"Shut up! She'll make it! She's Sango-chan! Don't you dare say she wont…"