W00t! I think this is the last chapter, unless somebody point out something that needs to be written or… I get the need to write the two of them together again… but next time I'll probably put it on Aff. instead of ffn.

"If you've got something to say, say it. If not, quit staring."

Gods. It was bad enough when he was some innocent little kid attached to his Sun. But now that he was older, it was way different.

Worse.

Sanzo focused on his newspaper, and not on the little monkey staring at him across the room. It was weird enough that he was even here. He never missed a chance to go shopping with Hakkai. The demon always bought him meat buns. There wasn't proof, but Sanzo just knew.

"I have to ask you something."

"Then ask."

"If I got a boyfriend, would you kill him?"

The text on the page sort of jumped, then did the little dance it did when Sanzo's eyelid was twitching.

"Got a what?"

"A boyfriend. You know, like-"

"I know what a boyfriend is."

"So? Would you?"

It occurred to Sanzo right then that the monkey had been with him practically since his mental birth. It had never occurred to the surrogate father to give him the 'birds and bees' talk, and now he was sorely regretting it.

"Guys are supposed to get girlfriends. Like Gojyo does. Guys aren't supposed to get boyfriends."

"But why not?"

"It's just… the way it is."

"But I don't want a girl. I want a guy."

Sanzo found something very interesting to stare at on the ceiling. Goku looked, too, but he didn't see what was so interesting.

"Fine. Do whatever you want."

"And you won't kill him?"

"Only if he pisses me off."

"Promise you won't kill him."

"Get out of my room."

"Promise, Sanzo! No matter who he is, promise you won't kill him."

"… It isn't Kougaiji, is it?"

"Would I make you promise that?"

Hmmm. The monkey was unusually focused today. He was really serious.

Gods…

"Fine. I promise."

"Thank you!"

"Now get lost."

Goku dutifully bounced out of the room, leaving Sanzo to his newspaper and his thoughts.

He had someone more important to find.

"It's gonna rain."

Gojyo didn't even bother looking at the sky. He'd noticed quite a while ago. Dark, ominous stormclouds rolled over the horizon, obscuring the setting sun. By the time it was dark, it would probably be pouring cats and dogs.

And that meant Sanzo was gonna plant himself on a windowsill and watch it until it stopped. Which means they wouldn't be going anywhere. It also meant that he and Goku would be rooming together. Again.

Unless he spent the night out again. Last night hadn't been so bad… he'd missed the early crowd, so when he got to the bar everyone had been pretty smashed already. Or, most of them had been. Everybody drunk had already lost all their money to everybody who was relatively sober. And everybody sober had already spent it on becoming less sober. Not to mention, once the winners were both rich and drunk, they'd taken most of the good chicks and gone home. Or, possibly places other than home.

Long story short, he missed the party.

He'd picked one of the less bovine chicks left and-

Well, he didn't get back to the hotel until breakfast. Let's just leave it at that.

He'd just have to get there earlier tonight. Easy.

But that meant leaving the monkey all alone, with the semi- comatose monk and a similarly depressed Hakkai. And he'd probably want to hang out with Sanzo just out of boredom, and Sanzo would hit him with the harisen…

"Not my problem."

"What did you say, Gojyo?"

"… nothing."

He shifted some of the groceries from one arm to the other. Where did Hakkai keep all this stuff? They took it to whatever inn they were staying at…and then it disappeared.

Did the monkey eat it all?

He resolved to keep watch that night to find out, then remembered that he had already resolved to go out early and spend the night in bed with the sexiest chick he could find.

And that caused indecision, because sexy chicks were a dime a dozen, and he REALLY wanted to know what happened to all this stuff.

Maybe he'd just ask-

"Goku!"

Wait… was that a thought or a voice? Sounded like Hakkai. He looked up at the green- eyed man.

"What?"

"Goku's here."

"I thought he was staying with Sanzo."

"He was."

Mental arithmetic.

"What are you doing here?"

"I got bored."

"Here. You carry this. You'll probably eat most of it anyway."

He dumped half his load onto the monkey, who was not pleased. Several minutes of cussing and insults later, they realized they were back at the inn they were staying at.

"Leave Sanzo alone tonight, alright Goku?" Hakkai asked pleasantly. "It's going to rain, and it would really be better if we gave him his space."

"I'll just stay in my room," Goku said, a little too pleasantly for Gojyo's taste. He had a feeling there would be a repeat of last night's performance.

Better get out early.

What time was it anyway?

He estimated about nine… time to go.

… had to go back to the room first. Vital things in the room.

Vital, vital things.

Hoping Goku wouldn't notice, he edged away from the kitchen Hakkai had commandeered.

Down the hall…

Up the stairs…

Open the door…

So far so good.

Quickly he changed into his jeans, slipping his jacket over a white shirt. Into the pockets of the jacket he loaded the bare essentials, plus a little money for gambling and possibly a few rounds.

He briefly considered going out the window, but decided against it.

Trying to be as silent as possible, he slid the door open-

And got knocked on the chest.

"Oh! I'm sorry! There's only one key, and you've got it-"

"Here, you take it," he said, pushing the key into Goku's hand.

Self- preservation. Don't stay, don't stay, think of the banishing gun… Hakkai's probably watching us from somewhere…

"I talked to Sanzo."

Freeze. Rewind. Shit, that button's broken.

"What?"

"He said he won't kill you."

"WHAT?"

Okay, maybe the window was the best option. Shit, what if the no- doubt- homicidal monk was waiting for him? … shit, shit… maybe he could go over the roof?

He scanned the hallways for vents. No such luck.

"Do you WANT me to die? I've turned down a lot of people, but no one's actually tried to kill me before! Well, for that reason, anyway."

"I didn't tell him it was YOU."

"Wait… what exactly did you say to him?"

"I asked him, if I got a boyfriend would he kill him."

"And he said no? He's lying. Damn monk's probably got his sights on both of us right now…"

"I made him promise."

So maybe he wasn't dead. Or quite as dead as he had thought.

"You're sure."

"Mm- hmm."

"He didn't just whack you with the harisen and say 'get lost'?"

"Nope. He promised not to kill you."

Maybe the monk was being driven crazy by the rain? Or maybe….

"You aren't lying to me about this, are you?"

"Would I lie to you?"

Oh. The monkey's voice was changing now. Getting more-

"You never did have any poker face at all."

The door's closed. When did that happen? Ah well. Would have had to close it anyway. Can't be making out in the hall.

Well you could, but they weren't going to.

No, the bed would do fine.

Dammit. I'm the last to know everything.

Sanzo sat cross- legged on his bed, trying to meditate and trying even harder not to hear the patters of rain on the roof. Hakkai was on his own bed, playing with Jiipu, and trying not to disturb the monk.

Which was impossible, because the monk was already very, very disturbed.

Why doesn't anybody tell me these things?

So Goku and Gojyo had a Thing. And he had only just figured it out today, when Hakkai had come quietly into the room. He'd cooked a meal, but he was the only one eating, he said. Sanzo wasn't hungry, as usual, and Goku and Gojyo were 'busy with other things.'

So Hakkai knew. And Hakkai had no intention of telling him.

I'm still allowed to kill Gojyo. For non- associated reasons.

He tried desperately to come up with some reason to shoot the Kappa, but nothing presented itself. Other than the obvious, but he'd already made a promise to Goku about that.

Damn, damn, damn… If I hear any weird noises form over there, I'm gonna shoot them right through this friggin wall.

But there was no sound except for the quiet pattering of the rain.

Several hours later

The rain has stopped. It didn't get heavy.

We are all glad.

"How long can those idiots sleep?"

Hakkai sighed. Must they go through this conversation every day?

"Sanzo, it's barely eight in the morning. You know how late those two stay up."

"What the hell do they do all night?"

Rhetorical question. Has to be. There's no way he could know-

"I'm going to get them."

That's a first. Sanzo- sama himself actually-

Oh dear.

"I'll go get them."

Stay with your coffee, Sanzo, please don't-

"I'm gonna go empty a couple rounds into their mattresses, see if they don't get up a bit earlier tomorrow."

"But this is such a nice place, don't ruin-"

"That's what the gold card's for."

No arguing with Sanzo once his mind's made up, I suppose. Now, let's see… Goku and Gojyo are up the stairs and down the hall. Sanzo is maybe thirty seconds away from kicking their door open and discovering something none of us want him to know. Is there any way to warn them?

Hakkai considered a moment.

Unless by some freak chance Gojyo actually did come to his senses and leave Goku alone. In which case there was nothing to worry about-

And maybe a freak lightning bolt would fly out of the sky and melt the door shut.

Yeah, that last one seemed a little more likely.

"Go 'way, Hakkai," Goku muttered, pulling the blankets over his head. That's better.

He had a nice little cocoon now, with Gojyo in the back and two bed's worth of blankets over him… he could stay here for hours.

"Get up, you idiots. I want to move."

Against his back, he could feel Gojyo's body tense up.

Why?

Oh, wait… that wasn't Hakkai.

It was Sanzo. But that's okay, because Sanzo promised-

BLAM!
"I SAID UP!"

The mattress twitched as another bullet was embedded in it, and another.

Gojyo and Goku were quickly separated as they scrambled off the bed and dove for cover.

"We're moving out in an hour. If you wanna stay here and make out, fine. But if you're gonna eat, you better move now."

"Food!" Goku darted out of the room toward breakfast, leaving Gojyo once again alone.

Well, the monkey was relatively assured of Gojyo's safety, even if the Kappa himself wasn't. Especially since Sanzo was now blocking the door and looking meaningfully at his gun.

"Um…"

"If you two start being perverted in the back of the jeep, I'm still going to shoot at you."

"…"

"And if I ever hear ANYTHING bad from him, and I do mean anything, I'm going to come after you."

"…okay."

He figured that that was as close of a blessing as he was gonna get from the monk.

Okay, then.

"Come on, before Goku eats all the food."

Eight in the morning, and he'd already thought he was gonna die once today. Having Goku was dangerous.

Than again, that just made it fun.

owari