(We see CHRISTINE sitting in her DRESSING ROOM. She is lighting CANDLES with a MATCH. Behind her is a MIRROR.)
CHRISTINE: Candles, candles, yay!
(A VIOLIN that we do not SEE begins to PLAY.)
CHRISTINE: Hmm?
PHANTOM: Brava, brava, bravissima!
CHRISTINE: Wow, I must've inhaled a little too much smoke...
PHANTOM: No, you idiot, I'm in the mirror!
CHRISTINE: What?
(MEG enters.)
MEG: Where in the world have you been hiding?
CHRISTINE: Right here...
MEG: Oh. Well, really, you were perfect. Who is your new tutor?
CHRISTINE: Father once spoke of an angel. I always dreamed he'd appear. I guess he did.
MEG: I hear your voice in the darkness, yet the words aren't yours.
CHRISTINE: Dude. There is no darkness. It's perfectly bright in here.
MEG: I can fix that.
(MEG waves her HAND, and the CANDLES go OUT.)
CHRISTINE: How did you DO that?
MEG: I'm magic!
CHRISTINE: Well, I suppose that's reasonable, because you don't have much of a part otherwise...
MEG: Hey!
(The GIRLS open the DOOR and see a CROWD. Among the CROWD are RAOUL, ANDRE, FIRMIN, and MADAME GIRY.)
MADAME GIRY: Come practice, Meggles, darling!
MEG: MOTHER!
(MEG and MADAME GIRY leave.)
ANDRE: Mmm, Richard, this is some good champagne.
FIRMIN: Give me that!
(FIRMIN grabs a BOTTLE from ANDRE. He DRINKS. Meanwhile, MADAME GIRY returns with a NOTE.)
MADAME GIRY: Oh, Christine, this is for you.
(She LEAVES.)
ANDRE: Ooo! What does it say?
CHRISTINE: It says: "A red scarf, the attic, Little Lotte."
FIRMIN: That's not a complete sentence!
RAOUL: I don't care.
ANDRE: You aren't even in this scene.
CHRISTINE: I don't think I am either. All of you, out! I have to go into my dressing room!
(She DOES.)
FIRMIN: Uh... yay, not a single refund.
ANDRE: You expected one?
RAOUL: ...greedy.
FIRMIN: That's my wife's line.
ANDRE: You're married, Richard?
FIRMIN: You mean Evangeline. And yes, I am.
RAOUL: Your wife only has one line; I have fifty million. I figured we might as well kill her, so I could have fifty million and one.
FIRMIN: You killed Herbert? NO! NOT HERBERT!
ANDRE: Wait... isn't Herbert a man's name?
FIRMIN: Um... Gilles, I think we've made quite a discovery in Miss Daae!
ANDRE: Don't change the subject! This is getting juicy!
RAOUL: ...quite a discovery indeed. I'm going to go and harass her now.
FIRMIN: As you wish.
(RAOUL enters the DRESSING ROOM.)
CHRISTINE: RAOUL! You have to knock! What if I were changing or something!
RAOUL: All the better for me, then!
CHRISTINE: RAOUL!
RAOUL: Hey, where is your red scarf? You better not have lost it--I went to so much trouble to get it! I was just fourteen and soaked to the skin.
CHRISTINE: No, actually you were, like, eight. According to the books, anyway.
RAOUL: ...Little Lotte let her mind wander.
BOTH: She thought: Am I fonder of dolls or goblins or shoes or flowers or butterflies or kittens or violins or monkey music boxes or your mother or Rick James or more kittens or riddles or frocks or Dick Cheney or lions or tigers or bears or Brad Pitt or hearts or stars or horseshoes or clovers or blue moons or Fruity Pebbles or Lake Huron or frilly dresses or pink or...
RAOUL: ...Yeah, I think that's enough of that. Let's go to supper.
CHRISTINE: No, because my father sent me the Angel of Music and he's very strict.
RAOUL: Well, I have to go get my hat so I can look pretty. Go change. NOW.
(He LEAVES.)
CHRISTINE: Wow...
(A really loud VOICE booms from the HEAVENS. Or perhaps just the MIRROR. Either way, the VOICE is very LOUD.)
VOICE: INSOLENT BOY, THIS SLAVE OF FASHION! BASKING IN YOUR GLORY!
CHRISTINE: Angel?
VOICE: ...YES, LET'S GO WITH THAT. LOOK IN THE MIRROR.
CHRISTINE: Why?
VOICE: BECAUSE I TOLD YOU TO.
(CHRISTINE looks in the MIRROR. She sees GERARD BUTLER behind her.)
CHRISTINE: Oh, you're that guy from Timeline!
PHANTOM: NO!
CHRISTINE: Yes you are! You're the one who married Claire and lived happily ever after!
PHANTOM: Uh...right then. I am your Angel of Music. Come to me, Angel of Music.
CHRISTINE: Wait, I thought YOU were the Angel of Music, not me.
PHANTOM: You are.
CHRISTINE: Then what are you?
PHANTOM: The Angel of Music.
CHRISTINE: We can't BOTH be the Angel of Music!
PHANTOM: I don't know. Blame our lyricist.
CHRISTINE: 'Kay. Now, can we elope through the mirror despite the fact that I have a guy waiting for me?
PHANTOM: Sounds good to me.
(We see RAOUL listening through the DOOR.)
RAOUL: Whose is that voice? Who is that in there? Could it be Madonna? Or perhaps Jerry Springer?
PHANTOM: I am your Angel of Music. Come to me, Angel of Music.
CHRISTINE: You just said that.
PHANTOM: Oh, right. Let's go, then.
(They DISAPPEAR through the MIRROR. RAOUL rushes INSIDE the DRESSING ROOM.)
RAOUL: Christine? Angel? Rick James?