So sorry for the wait! I've been really busy. Hopefully the chapter makes up for it a bit. And right now I have some responses.
Contrarian: Hey, thanks! That was a lot of praise. Glad you like it! And thanks also for recommending my story in your profile! I was excited to see that you had.
fire-and-ice89: Thank you! No, Zoe isn't really supposed to be attracting sympathy, just laughs at the ridiculous things she does and assumes. She'll get smarter as she gains experience in the magical world and will lose the attitude, so no worries! As for how many inserts there are, just think of how many Mary-Sue/insert fics are out there. There are a fair amount of inserts in this story because I'm giving examples of all kinds of Sues. And there should be a Gary Stu or two in there eventually, just for some variety. It turns out the story's a lot more entertaining with a lot of clueless people running around rather than just a couple.
Lady Pyrefly: Whoops – sorry! I'm not a stalker, I swear. (shifty eyes) Heh. But really, that is a funny coincidence. And yes, I think I've switched my penname once for every chapter so far. But I'm sticking with this one: it was my first and I still like it the best. (knock wood)
SkatKat: And here she is! Hope you like what I did with her!
Windfox: I read it and loved it! Thanks for suggesting it.
Everyone Else: I love you all! Thanks for all the positive comments!
Credit goes out to SkatKat for her character idea. The insert you meet in this chapter is her creation, so kudos to her!
Disclaimer: Recognizable characters are not mine. Unrecognizable ones are. It's simple concept, people.
Certifiably Frightening
Meet Your Destiny
Zoe and Bella had both waited until the dormitory had cleared out to do anything besides dress. Bella was apparently not at her most amiable in the morning, especially when brushing her hair. Although it didn't tangle much, being the hair of an insert and all, it was still a chore to brush, apparently. The amber-eyed girl was growing frustrated with it as she laboriously pulled the brush through it.
"It's too thick," she said, her voiced strained with irritation. "I was so stupid, putting a character like this in my story. If I ever get out of here and can write again, my next character is going to have short, normal hair."
"I'm not sure I want to write again," Zoe muttered, who had given up on trying to fluff and brush her still limp curls a while ago and had tied them back in a ponytail. "Not if it means I'll be dumped on my butt in a castle every time I boot up my computer.
"By the way," she said, suddenly curious about something, "What did you look like before you came here?"
Bella flushed. "Um…I was a little shorter, had dark hair, brown eyes, and was kind of…"
"Kind of…?" Zoe prompted.
"Overweight, I guess," the girl finished in a small voice. Zoe lifted a shoulder.
"That's not a big deal."
"It kind of is," Bella said softly. "At least, for me it is, anyway. People would make fun of me, you know? That's why I made my character so pretty. She's how I wanted to look."
Bella spread her arms sadly, glancing down at the slender figure of her character. Zoe felt a surge of shame. Here Bella had been writing about a beautiful girl to escape her own unwanted reality, and Zoe just wanted her character to snag Harry more easily by being gorgeous? That was kind of pathetic.
"Hey," Bella said, sounding a little surprised, and Zoe glanced up.
"What?"
"…Nothing. I think it's just a trick of the light."
"No, what is it?" Zoe's fingers flicked up the bruise that now surrounded her eye. Had it turned green or something?
"Your hair suddenly looked a little bit darker is all. Not much, but a little bit."
Zoe pulled some of her hair around in front of her face and squinted at it. She wasn't sure, but maybe it wasn't quite as pale yellow as she remembered it being. Still, who knew? She could hardly think straight what with the events of the past day. She shrugged.
"Yeah, maybe. I don't know."
"So what did you look like?" Bella asked after a pause, her voice falsely bright.
"My hair was a lot shorter, kind of dirty blonde, and my eyes were a lighter blue," she said. "I wasn't as skinny, either," she added, patting her hips and tossing a half-smile in Bella's direction. The other girl returned it weakly.
"I wonder, though," Zoe mused out loud, "If I had made my character look exactly like me, would I still have been brought here?"
"If you gave her a bunch of powers and stuff, probably," Bella said. Zoe sighed.
"If I went to Dumbledore and I told him that I wanted to leave, do you think he would let me? He got us here with a spell – couldn't he send us back the same way?" Bella shook her head.
"No, I already tried that. He says that we can only go back once we've learned what we need to know."
"Great," Zoe said unhappily, dropping back onto her bed. "I never thought that I would want to leave Hogwarts if I ever got a chance to go, but…everything is just so much different than I pictured. I never thought the classes would be so hard, or that Harry would be so…"
"Ordinary?"
She nodded sadly. Bella patted her shoulder reassuringly, her own troubles apparently forgotten in the face of Zoe's consternation.
"But you know, I'm glad you came," the white-haired girl said. "Yesterday was one of my better days, since I actually had someone nice to talk to. Of course…it probably wasn't a great experience for you, was it?"
"Hey," Zoe said with a shrug, "It was definitely more interesting than my usual life. I'd never get spattered with potion at my regular school. I – oh, no."
"What is it?" Bella asked anxiously at Zoe's horrified expression.
"I can't believe I haven't thought of it until now – my parents must be worried sick!" She jumped to her feet. "It's been about four days since I came here, and I haven't called or anything…!"
"Called?" Bella said with a small laugh. "You won't be able to get in touch with them here. They're not even in this world, remember?"
Zoe jumped to her feet and started for the door.
"I've got to go see Dumbledore," she said, darting down the staircase. "I'll make him let me go home!"
She shot into the common room with Bella on her heels, banging the painting of the Fat Lady away from the portrait hole and sprinting down the corridor to an indignant, "Now, really!" from the flustered woman.
"Zoe!" Bella shouted, having fallen behind her.
"What?" she called, not bothering to turn around.
"You're going the wrong way! Dumbledore's office is in the other direction!"
She skidded to a halt. In the other – that really figured. She jogged back to Bella, who looked like she was trying very hard not to be amused by the situation.
"Come on," she said in a slightly choked voice. "I'll show you the way."
A few minutes and a lot of hallways later, they were standing in front of a large stone gargoyle.
"We have to say the password," Bella said softly. "Just let me think for a minute, and see if I can remember what it is…"
She bit her lip and was silent for a minute, finally shaking her head and sighing. "Just name as many magical candies as you can think of."
"…Um…"
Zoe was having trouble thinking of any. Tentatively she asked, "Let's see…Chocolate Frog?"
Nothing. The gargoyle remained immobile.
"Fizzing Whisbee," tried Bella, but still it refused to move.
"Er…oh! Lemon Drop," Zoe said excitedly, but with no result.
"Sugar Quill."
"This is ridiculous," Zoe muttered, wracking her brain. Bella twisted her lip and said, "I don' know if this will work, since I think it was in the third book, but, Cockroach Cluster…?"
The gargoyle twitched, then hopped aside. Zoe grinned widely at her friend and held up a hand, which Bella slapped with a smile of her own. They stepped onto the staircase, which carried them upwards until they reached a polished door. Zoe swallowed nervously, but knocked. The door swung open and the two girls stepped inside hesitantly.
"Ah! Miss Walker and Miss Lyons. What can I do for you?"
"Please sir," Bella jumped in before Zoe could say anything. "You have to let us leave. Zoe's parents are going to be worried and we're both having such a hard time…"
Dumbledore was smiling sagely, looking at them over his half-moon glasses.
"There is no need to be concerned about your families," he said calmly. "You forget that you're in a different world. Time doesn't run at the same rate here. Believe me, by the time that you've learned all you need to in order to be sent home, maybe a few minutes or so would have passed in your world, at the most."
"But…why can't we leave now?" Zoe asked in a small voice. "No offense, sir, but things here are the pits."
The headmaster laughed merrily.
"It only seems that way because you're still new," he said. "It will become easier as you learn more. You'll still be prepared to leave, but you won't be begging to go. And now…I believe the two of you are expected at the North Tower?"
"Oh," Bella said, checking her watch. "Divination. I forgot all about it."
A few minutes later they were trudging in the direction of the North Tower, going up a seemingly endless spiraling staircase.
"Geez," Zoe groaned as they reached yet another landing, "This is ridiculous. All this magic and they can't even make something like an escalator?"
Once they reached the top of the staircase, Zoe followed Bella up the ladder and through the trapdoor. As soon as she poked her head in the humid, circular room, she sneezed violently. The fumes were overpowering, and her head started swimming. Gagging slightly and sneezing again, she let Bella steer her over to one of the round tables and push her down on a cushy chair. She blinked to clear her eyes, which had been watering, and peered around the room while sniffing pathetically. There were a relative few students here, most of whom looked like they were about to either fall asleep or pass out. For once the two inserts weren't getting any hostile stares, but that was the only good thing about being in this room. A misty voice drifted through the ruddy haze.
"Welcome, my dears. My inner Eye informed me that I would be granted a new–"
"Ah-CHOO!"
"…Student to enlighten," Professor Trelawney finished lamely, her mystical tone faltering a little and looking bewildered by the interruption. Zoe fished around in her pocket for a handkerchief, blowing her nose loudly and blinking tears out of her eyes. The fumes were really getting to her – she felt like every allergy she'd ever had (and there were quite a few: dog hair, pollen, peanuts, cat hair, and wasp stings, for instance) was combined into one huge assault on her sinuses.
"Today," the professor continued on stoically, "We will be examining the–"
"WAH-CHOO!"
"…The, er…"
Students were breaking out of their dazes and giggling now, nudging each other as the Divination teacher blinked at Zoe from behind her huge spectacles. Zoe shrugged in apology, wiping her nose with her handkerchief and struggling not to choke. Bella was looking at her in concern, herself unaffected. Suddenly a new voice, even more dreamy than Trelawney's, reached Zoe's ears.
"My own, stronger Sight is informing me that Miss Walker is having an allergic reaction to the perfume in the air."
Amid a sudden chorus of groans, Zoe squinted – the fumes seemed to be having the effect of heat, as her vision was wavering – and she saw a tall, willowy girl standing and looking over at her reproachfully. Her hair was silver and flowed down her back in soft waves, her pale skin was (unsurprisingly) clear and smooth, and her eyes were…
"Purple?" Zoe muttered, shaking her throbbing head and instantly regretting it when she had to grip the table in front of her to stop the room from spinning. She sneezed again, and sharp needles of pain shot through every inch of her skull.
"Zoe, do you need to see Madame Pomfrey?" Bella asked worriedly.
"Yeah," Zoe said, feeling suddenly nauseous. "I think I'd better."
"Ah," Trelawney said sorrowfully. "I neglected to mention that my Inner Eye also told me you would have an aversion to the mind-opening atmosphere here. This is a sign of great suffering to come."
Zoe ignored her and got to her feet, desperate to get out of the tower.
"Wait," the silver-haired girl said, and glided over to where she was standing, clinging onto Bella's shoulder while her knees shook and threatened to buckle. "…I am sensing…that…wisps of fear and resentment hang about your person. They cloud your aura and threaten to choke you in darkness."
"What are you talking about?" Zoe asked irritably as her stomach took another nauseating turn. "Wait, what's your name?"
"I am…Destiny," the girl said, her amethyst eyes widening and her voice dropping to a whisper.
"Okay. Shut up, Destiny," Zoe snapped, and with Bella's help staggered towards the trapdoor as the snorts and giggles of the other students pierced the thick air. She banged it shut after her, more out of lack of remaining coordination than irritation. Climbing down the ladder, she slipped on the fifth rung and fell the rest of the way – luckily for her it wasn't that far a drop. She lay on the floor for a minute, grateful for every breath of clean, cool air that filled her lungs. After a minute or so, her head had stopped pounding and she didn't feel like she was about to throw up everything that she'd ever eaten in her life. Suddenly she was faced with another problem.
There was no way she could go back into that room, but she couldn't make it back to her dormitory without Bella for a guide. And she didn't want to just sit here for the rest of the hour. What was she supposed to do now?
"Hey! Zoe!"
She snapped her head up and saw Tansy, her copper hair short and layered today, jogging towards her from the top of the stairs.
"Tansy!" Zoe exclaimed, surprised but pleased to see the younger girl. "What are you doing up here?"
"Skipping Charms," Tansy answered promptly. "I already know everything about what we're learning today."
She tapped the side of her head and grinned, "I have to remember to thank my author one of these days. I know enough to be in sixth year, so I never have to go to class unless she puts me there in her writing."
"Huh." Zoe still was confused about the whole concept of self-insertion and Mary Sues. But every time Bella tried to explain it, she only got more befuddled. Maybe once she figured that out, she'd be able to go home.
"Hey, Tansy," she said suddenly, "Since you're not an insert, exactly, does that mean you'll be here forever?"
The young girl's expression turned serious, the sparkle in her vivid blue eyes fading a bit.
"I'll be here as long as my story is incomplete," she said solemnly, "But once it's finished, unless there's a sequel, I'll just…vanish. Gone as if I'd never been. The canon characters won't remember a thing about me."
"That's terrible!" Zoe gasped. "Aren't you afraid that your author will start writing again?"
"Nah," Tansy said, her cheerful air returning. "She was never swift with the updates even when she was writing, and she gets kind of long-winded. My story's only two chapters long as it is – it won't be finished for a long, long time."
"But what if your story's deleted?"
Tansy shrugged.
"I don't think it will be. She leaves her stuff up even if she never wants to come back to it again, just so she can keep her reviews."
"Oh. That's lucky."
"Yeah, I guess. Say, what are you doing here anyway? Don't you have class?"
"I'm allergic to the room," Zoe said sheepishly. "I couldn't stop sneezing and I felt like my head was going to explode."
"Too bad. But everyone says Trelawney's a crackpot anyway."
Somewhere in the distance a bell rang, clanging loudly and echoing through the corridors. The trapdoor swung open and the two girls moved out of the way as the dazed students began to clamber down the ladder. Bella was one of the last to exit, looking half-asleep.
"Oh, you're still here?" she asked when she caught sight of Zoe. When her gaze landed on Tansy, her mouth tightened a bit in annoyance. The younger girl tossed a cheeky grin in her direction and said, "I might as well go to Herbology – it's the only subject I really like. See you guys around."
She hopped on the banister of the spiral staircase and slid swiftly out of view, whooping enthusiastically.
"She's such an exhibitionist," Bella said with a frown.
"I kind of feel sorry for her, though," Zoe said. "She told me that once her story's finished, she'll just disappear."
Bella's expression softened.
"That's how it works," she said. "I've seen non-inserts just fade into thin air before, and as soon as they're gone the canon characters don't remember a thing. It kind of shows how little we're really missed, even if in our stories the canon characters mourn our departure."
"Your journey can only end in darkness," a misty voice said seriously from behind them. "Soon you will fall into the shadowed depths of despair."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Zoe snapped irritably, swinging around to glare at Destiny. "You're as bad as Trelawney."
"I hope your chosen path doesn't leave you broken!" the girl cried woefully, and disappeared down the spiral staircase.
"She doesn't know what she's talking about," Bella said. "She just likes to sound dramatic – she's been here for a week and everyone is already fed up with her."
"Yeah, well some people really should disappear," Zoe muttered irritably. "What have we got next?"
"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Bella said with a groan. "And we have Umbridge."
"Who?"
"I forgot, you haven't read the fifth book. But trust me, you're not going to like this," Bella said darkly, and Zoe sighed in resignation as they started down the stairs. Whatever she needed to know, she'd better figure it out soon before she went absolutely insane.