Bill's body galvanized as he heard someone approach. He knew every creak and crack of his surroundings, including the all-too-familiar clatter of his 70 plus year old bones. Bears rumbled and snuffed about in a certain way, raccoons were delicate; skunks broadcasted their presence with their signature scent. This was the unmistakable clumsy steps of a city slicker, a creature who stumbled awkwardly through this harsh setting with difficulty and inexperience.
Adrenaline propelled him into his home and with cat like movements he retrieved his largest pump-action shot gun and prepared to meet his unwanted guest.
It was late afternoon. The sun had rolled behind a large bank of clouds and an autumn chill was over the valley. He listened for the foot falls and soon found his quarry.
"Hold it right there, partner!" he commanded. The unmistakable shick-shick of the weapon punctuated his order. "This is private property!"
"Alright! Alright! Take it easy!" the man said in a familiar voice, his arms raised in surrender.
"Sheesh! Ralph!" Bill croaked as he pulled the gun into a safe position with exaggerated movements. "I coulda drilled a hundred holes in you! What'er you doin' here!"
"Well, I would have called Bill, but your cell phone must be on the fritz!" Ralph cracked as he turned around to face Bill.
"Cell phone! I don't have… "
Ralph stood akimbo, his lips pressed together their corners pulled back forming a sardonic expression. "Yeah. Exactly. No cell…
"No…"
"No Cell Phone. No Boat, No Light, No…
"I've got a boat." Bill stood dumbfounded in his tattered army surplus, taking in all that Ralph's visit implied. He pulled his raggy green coat over his chest, suddenly aware of his appearance.
"No!" Bill recovered his old bluster. "I am SO glad you came all this way…just for the sarcasm! Huh! Typical!"
"Bill, you look terrible! Why have you done this to yourself?"
"No!"
"No, what?"
"No, I am NOT going with you!"
"I didn't say anyth…"
"You don't have to. I know what you want and the answer is NO! End of argument. Good bye! So long! Tally-ho-ho, Negativo! It ain't even funny!" Bill stalked off toward his cabin to return his gun to its proper place.
"Bill, will you listen to me!" Ralph caught Bill's elbow, feeling the bone under the thinning fabric.
"Yeah, right." Bill spat under his breath, freeing himself from Ralph's hold with quick turn of his arm. "I'm gonna listen to a lot of yammerin' about taking a trip...whirrrr spin…into the Twilight Zone! 'Our Time' and that stuff. Well you can just forget it!"
"Bill!" Ralph stomped after his friend.
"Ralph, I ahwl-ready rode that E-ticket, a couple'a times. I just don't wanna to do it again. I certainly ain't gettin' on a one way junket!"
It was Ralph's time to look haggard, though certainly the years had been more kind to him than to Bill.
He had deeply missed this man. But if his friend chose to hole himself up like a crazed uni-bomber, living off the grid and out of the loop, what could he do?
"How did you find me anyway?. I did everything I could to cover my tracks."
"I was downwind." Ralph winced as he caught a whiff of his au natural friend.
"Yeah, yeah. Nothin's really changed, has it?" Bill's demeanor shifted, Ralph's crack brought back the old days when the two of them were what Bill sardonically referred to as "thick as thieves."
"Well, well. Here you are. You want some Joe or have you had your venti, half-caf, de-caf, latte, matchiata for the day?"
"Macchiat-toh." Ralph corrected automatically. "I've missed you, Bill." Ralph stated, a lump beginning to form in his throat. Seeing his best friend in this state saddened him profoundly. Waves of guilt overcame him. He should have done something sooner.
Bill was caught up short by the emotion in Ralph's voice.
"Get in the cabin, Ralph. It's getting late and even with that Halloween costume from Yuppie Central Outfitters and your fancy lil' ole walking stick, you don't want to try to trek outta here in the dark. Bears and wolves like lost hikers, Ralph, for snicky-snacks. Heh heh."