(The Walter muse got into my head and heres what it had to say)
Mother never said there would be days like these
Walter sighed and slowly made his way along the corridors of the SGC. Night shift had set in, and an eerie silence settled into the halls. He'd just finished a fifteen-hour shift, and as always it had been filled with fraught anxiety of danger and worrying. And the usual suspects had been the ones putting him through it. As he scanned his keycard through the slot of the elevator and waited for the doors to open, he rubbed his fingers into his forehead trying to relieve a little stress. It was then that he heard the familiar voices siphoning along the corridors. He begged the elevator doors to open faster, but they didn't seem to want to heed his desires and plainly stayed firmly shut.
Walter looked down the corridor of the opposite direction, wondering if he could make a swift escape, but the team was already upon him and he quietly hung his head with a dissatisfied grunt. He was quite fond of them, usually; in fact he got on quite well with them, at times. But sometimes, just sometimes, perhaps you know, once a month, he wondered whether these people could actually get the gist and cut a guy a break.
The bad luck this team carried with them seemed to have become an unwritten law. Walter was trying to judge whether it was wise to step into the elevator with all four of them. As the frontline team, SG-1 were by rights, the most endangered, and didn't Walter Harriman know it. He was the one who had to sit and send them off on their merry way, as they almost gleefully skipped through the gate looking for danger. He was the one who had to report to the General to inform him that yet again, SG-1 had not reported back as scheduled. He was the one who had to run an entirety of gate diagnostics because, yup that's right, SG-1 had managed to somehow do something to the entire gate system. He was the one who sat, (and no it wasn't a comforting thought to think the glass was bullet proof,) as Sg-1 returned guns blazing, chased by a battalion of the latest bad guy, explosions ricocheting off every wall.
He had to put up with explosions, bullets, viruses, gates disappearing, time dilations, more explosions, radio waves wreaking havoc, billions of gate diagnostics, alternate timelines, alternate universes, Goa'uld holograms, replicators, retu...the list was endless. And then there was of course, chasing the General for reports, typing up reports, running gate checks, running his tech staff, getting the Generals coffee, keeping the General on track with his schedule. Walter Harriman often wondered whether he had signed himself up for a one-man show. How come every other team was made up of four members, there he was sitting on the frontlines, one man, a single entity, numero uno.
"Walter...Walter?"
Walter looked up to see the elevator doors finally sliding open and Colonel Mitchell patted him lightly on his shoulder.
"You ok Sgt?" asked Mitchell
Walter sighed and pushed his glasses back to the bridge of his nose.
"Fine Sir, just been a long day"
The rest of Sg-1 ushered themselves into the elevator compartment. Walter stepped in beside them.
"Sure the hell has" agreed Mitchell, swatting a level button and watching as the doors slid closed. "What are your plans for this evening Walter?"
"Nothing Sir, quiet night at home"
"You know I was just saying to the rest of my team here earlier, we have got to have the best jobs in the world"
"Oh God" exclaimed Daniel, leaning back onto the wall of the elevator as it made its ascent "Not this conversation again"
"Yeah come on Cameron, I think you made your point"
"Oh come on people, I mean who else has this much fun"
"Fun" said Daniel, drawing out the word as if it were the first time he'd heard it. He exchanged glances with Sam and rolled his eyes.
"Yeah fun" replied Cameron "Come on Walter, agree with me here. I mean you sit all day, watching teams come and go, don't you wish to get in on the excitement now and then"
Walter stared at the elevator doors and decided it was time to ask Siler if there was any way of making them go up and down faster.
"Can't say I envy your job Sir" replied Walter in all honesty 'and I doubt you'd envy mine' he thought to himself.
"Oh come on, you've never wanted to get out there in the field. Shoot up a few bad guys, feel that adrenaline running through your veins as your chased by some psycho loon who's thinking their the new god on the block"
Walter merely side glanced the Colonel with a slight air of disdain and wished the elevator wasn't so confining.
Thankfully he was saved from replying as the other three occupants grunted in disapproval.
"I wouldn't wish 'that' on anyone" said Daniel coyly
"I fail to see how envious such a situation could be," added Teal'c.
"Are you kidding, Walter..."
"Sir," Walter interrupted as Cameron was about to go into another happy tirade about the danger of his job "I think the action this side of the gate is enough for me to deal with... Sir"
"Like what?" Cameron grinned, almost challenging the Mst Sgt to a debate about the pros and cons of each others jobs and already deciding he'd win in the danger department. "What is it you actually do Walter?"
The elevator doors slid open and the five exited the confined space, but the Colonel seemed unwilling to drop the challenge.
"Well there's setting up schedules for the General, keeping the General on his schedule. Retrieving coffee, running gate diagnostics, running my tech team. Filing reports, writing reports, retrieving reports" Walter paused for a breath before continuing "Then there's scheduling the teams. Off world teams, teams about to leave through the gate, teams reporting back through the gate. Teams due to radio in off world, when we are to radio teams off world. Keeping track of teams going through the gate to retrieve another team stranded, incapacitated or unable to return from off world for any reason. Deciphering codes, recording codes, reporting codes, reporting unauthorised off world activity, opening the iris, closing the iris."
By this time they were in the parking lot, and Walter found himself with an audience of four, standing open mouthed,(or eyebrow raised) as he routinely read out the duties he performed levels down from where they all stood. Walter hadn't even touched on alien viruses, gate problems, putting up with grumpy generals, dealing with diplomatic liaisons, putting up with gunfire and explosions, alien devices gone wrong, aliens being brought through the gate without authorisation.
Cameron Mitchell grinned and patted Walter on the shoulder again, propelling him forward into the parking lot.
"Yup like I said, best jobs in the world. You sound like you could do with a drink Walter"
"Yes Sir, your probably right"
Walter Harriman once more took his life into his own hands. Willingly going to a bar to down alcohol with SG-1 was probably not the safest of ways to spend a Friday night. However he could safely think to himself that at least these people realised he was on a frontline as much as they were.
The End