Okay. You guys? I know that you like the story and all… but I have a little something to say to Chibi Sweetheart. Believe it or not, the authors of the stories at ffnet DO have lives. And, believe it or not, some of them DON'T spend all their time on the computer. I know it's been awhile since my last update, but that's because I have been busy with school, and juggling homework, and ten thousand other things. When you send me reviews that are just basically yelling at me because I haven't updated for awhile REALLY upsets me, and when you TELL me to update, I feel pressured, therefore I can't work. I can't work under pressure, and I can't write when people tell me to. The first two chapters came rather quickly because it was during summer. And I believe I warned all of you that the chapters would slow down quite a bit because of school. Chibi, I know you were excited and waiting for the next chapter, but when people just send authors reviews saying 'HURRY UP!' and 'AREN'T YOU GOING TO UPDATE?' , it just… ARGH! It makes my head want to explode to put it simply. When I was writing Flying Without Wings, there were maybe months at a time between when I updated my chapters, but never once did something like this happen. All of my reviewers for that story were calm and patient with me and for that I am very thankful. All that I ask is that you be patient as well. I'm not going to mess with this kind of situation again, so just remember this. Every time you TELL me to update, it makes the actual updating process two days LONGER. Got it?

Anywho, HERE'S CHAPTER THREE! ENJOY!

Chapter 3

As I made my way down to the sidewalk, feeling absolutely terrific, might I add, I could feel Bakura trying to pry his way into the mind link. Having been prepared ahead of time, I had shut it down before I even left my room and made sure he couldn't get in.

Served him right. The sorry bastard.

I chuckled at how strangely good I was feeling. It had been awhile since I had been like this, and I liked it. Trying to have a good day, or feeling really happy when you live with an egotistical Yami makes life a little like Hell on Earth.

I shook these thoughts from my mind as I walked through the front door of the grocery store. Suddenly, I felt a little self conscious. As soon as I set one foot inside, it seemed as though everyone was looking at me. It was probably because it had just occurred to me that I was wearing pants so tight that they seemed like a second layer of skin and a shirt so torn that it seemed more like a dishrag. But, hey, ff this plan of mine was going to work, I was going to have to risk a few things. Even my pride.

I gave a few people shy smiles as I walked by them, obviously trying to make it seem as though it were normal for me to dress in clothes such as these. Most of them simply smiled back, trying to be polite, when I knew that they were a little psyched out. Especially since nearly half of the entire store was filled with old women or mothers with their children. I sighed and pulled the list out of my jacket pocket and began to toss things into the grocery basket I held in my hand.

Hamburger Meat: Check.

Milk: Check.

I felt out of place. Not a white boy in the ghetto out of place. More like God at a devil's convention. I couldn't help but feel like any second someone was going to scream, 'LOOK! THERE'S A GAY GUY IN THE STORE!' Of course, thanks to my overly active imagination, it never happened.

Bread: Check

Ramen: Check

You better get your sorry ass back here. Before I drag it back.

"AAAIEEEE!" I screamed, dropping the package of lunch meat in my hand, of course, drawing even more attention to myself than needed.

WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS YOUR PROBLEM? You scared the shit out of me.

Poor Hikari. Now I'll tell you again. Get back here.

What are you going to do if I don't?

I could hear my Yami growl mentally. I sent him a smirk as I grabbed a couple bags of potato chips. Well, well. Did big bad Bakura finally run out of retorts?

Silence.

Looks like I win. I grinned to myself and then stuck my tounge out at him, making sure the image was quite clear. I was about to speak again when he finally found his voice.

Don't stick your tongue out at me unless you intend to use it…..

I stopped dead in my tracks, considering what he could possibly mean. I would have had it figured out by now, but I think the tightness of my pants were cutting off the circulation to my brain. I also think that Bakura noticed this, and that was when he decided to take control.

You truly are an idiot.

What? I am not…. I stopped and growled. Damn you… you…. You big asshead.

Asshead. Creative.

I huffed and shut off the mind-link once more, still trying to understand how he made it through in the first place as I walked to the check-out lines. I stopped before getting in line however, for an absolutely magnificent idea had occurred to me. I walked to the medicine isle and picked up the nearest bottle of laxative. I read over the instructions. Of course, this plan of mine might cause pain to myself, but only from Bakura. I grinned evilly in my mind. "Brilliant, Ryou. You're a genius…"

Later that night, around seven or so, I decided to make dinner. It was normal for me to shut off the mind link while cooking, although tonight it served as a cover for my devious plan. Bakura simply drifted out of the ring as I gathered my supplies and went to the living room to watch whatever I had left on the T.V. I peeked out the kitchen door to make sure he was gone before pulling out the bottle of laxative and adding a whole ½ cup of it to the mix for the hamburger helper. After that it was smooth sailing. Everything went according to plan.

I finished cooking and put a plate of food on the table for Bakura, afterwards telling him that I wasn't hungry and that I was going to go ahead and go to sleep. I wouldn't set foot back inside that body of mine until Bakura had finished his trips to the bathroom, which would be lasting for quite some time, might I add.

I smirked from behind the human garbage disposal as he scarfed every last bite of food before going to get a second helping. With my luck, he might have been shitting himself for nearly a week. I resisted the temptation to start laughing, pointing in his face and calling him an idiot. No. I would save that for AFTER. Then, it would be all that more sweet.

Walking up to my bedroom I reached for the door handle, ready to open the door when I remembered I was in spirit form. I wasn't quite as used to it as Bakura was, seeing as how I was the one who was usual in control of the body. I sighed and drifted through the door before… collapsing, I suppose, on my bed. I don't think a spirit can collapse on a tangible object of any sort, but let's just bend the rules a bit and say I did.

Placing my hands behind my head I stared up at the ceiling for what seemed like forever until I heard the toilet flush. I smirked and listened as the bathroom door opened and I could hear Bakura's footsteps retreating down the stairs. Five minutes later, he was back again. By the fourth or fifth trip, I could hear him mumbling rather profane words as he left the bathroom. By around the 10th time, he was pissed as hell, and still hadn't caught on to what was the cause. I could hear him digging around in the kitchen about quarter to 9 and then it was silent. Well, maybe he passed out because there wasn't anything left in his usually full stomach. Then I heard someone storming up the stairs.

Thinking Bakura was just taking another trip to the bathroom, I rolled over on my side. Then my bedroom door flew open and I sat up quickly, staring at an engraged Bakura, clenching the laxative bottle in his hand.

"What… The hell… Is THIS?" He yelled, throwing the bottle down on my bed. Normally, I would have been frightened, but, seeing as how I had provoked this whole situation, therefore expecting this reaction, I simply sat there, my arms crossed with an amused smile on my face. He growled and began to come forward, raising a fist, when his face screwed up and he bolted out of my room and into the bathroom.

I remained silent for a moment until I began laughing. First, it was just the fact of how quickly he had run to the bathroom, but I hadn't even considered his face yet. When that came to my mind, however, I began laughing harder. So hard that tears formed in my eyes and I had to hold my sides. I fell off my bed, in a sense (a/n: spirit form, remember?) and began rolling around on the floor. Gripping my sides and gasping for air, it was hardly controllable. Bakura reentered the room, glaring daggers at me. I, however, had only caught a glimpse before I rolled over on my side, still laughing hysterically.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME!" Bakura yelled. He jumped forward, straddling me and pinning my shoulders down with his hands. Of course, this would have been a great time to loose the laughs, but I couldn't. I had the giggles and every time I thought of why, I laughed even more. Bakura growled and put his hand on my forehead to hold my head down and leaned in, glaring at me, looking me directly in the eye. "Hikari… Tell me what you did, before I beat it out of you…" He hissed.

I tried to think of a response, but when I came up with one, I was laughing again. "You… might want to, hahaha! go to the bathroom first! Hahaha!"

He growled and poked me in the eye. "Dammit, Ryou. What the fuck did you do?"

I glared up at him, with my one good eye, the other one closed,and grinned. "What's it look like? I gave you the shits!"

HAHAHAHA! BAKURA'S GOT THE SHITS! HAHAHAH! rolling on the floor laughing REVIEW! HAHA!