I am so, so sorry I haven't updated in forever. And yes, I'm going to come with stupid excuses- I am working on a total of eleven multi- chapter stories and am trying to get on with the ones I actually have ideas for mostly. Which pretty much means that I work only on dancing in the rain hahaha. No, but it does take its time and these last six months I have been having a major case of writer's block. And I've also been quite busy. So I guess you'll have to bear with slow updates, and also boring chapters. But back at Sunshine and with her mum, actually not much happens for Kenny. So… you'll have to wait and see.

…"Look it's her"…

…"Is she back?"…

…"I didn't know she'd been gone."…

I tried to ignore the whispers after me as I walked through the hallways the first day back in school. Something that was easier said than done as many of them commented on things that I already felt bad for.

…"Can you imagine how worried everyone's been?"…

While some others didn't even seem to matter. But still was like a punch in the stomach to me.

…"Don't bother. At least Mr. Jackson and Mrs. Nichols let us go from class because everybody were so bothered and worried about her."…

I hugged my English books tight to my chest, then- half a second later changed to holding them on one side with one hand. And made sure my belly couldn't be seen on the outside of the slouchy shirt I was wearing. My belly still wasn't very big- but if I'd chosen a shirt tighter than Patrick's hoodie- it could easily had been seen for the one who took a second look that I was pregnant.

"Miss. LaRusso."I winced at the sound of the headmaster's voice. "How nice of you. Fancied coming back after all this time!" I gave a polite nod, "Yes, everybody in the school were really worried when you suddenly disappeared. And we're all very happy you came back unharmed of course." He gave me a smile and nodded. "Do you know where your first class is?"

"Yes Mr. Daniels." I replied to him. "That way, A-04. English class with Mrs. Nichols."

"That sounds about correct Kennedy." He gave another nod and looked at me over his glasses. I had felt tiny enough already, but with that look along with his almost two meters of height I felt about as big as a mosquito- including the killing of it. "I'll let you get to it. Don't be late, you know you can come to me if you need anything."

"Yes Mr. Daniels."

I gave a slight sigh of relief when Paul Daniels continued down the hallway and I could hear him take up a new conversation with one of the teachers while I quickly headed for Mrs. Nichols's classroom- not late!

Well… late enough for everyone having been there before me. And just as I came (Stumbled, damn shoelaces) into the room the whole class went silent. I froze for a second- still on my feet and then tried to make myself as small as possible making my way through the room to sit down in the back corner.

"Hello students…" Mrs. Nichols. "Oh, and hello Miss LaRusso. It's nice to see you again."

Annoyed, I opened my English book and stared down into it to seem concentrated not to have to look up- I would have to concentrate on it anyways, I thought while I ignored the sound of Mrs. Nichols voice about verbs and adjectives and the others' whispers. Damn… I would….

"And how much homework have you got from being gone for so long?" Mr. Daniels came over to me at the end of the day while I threw my now very heavy new backpack over one shoulder. "Is that very heavy? Do you want a ride home so you won't have to carry it all the way?"

"No thanks Mr. Daniels" I was weird enough to the others enough without getting a ride with the headmaster. "Thanks for the offer but it's okay. Well…" I gave a short, faked chuckle. "All new bag… Hopefully it will last more than one day… not tooo sure about that though." Mr. Daniels smiled slightly. "Sorry, bad joke… I… I gotta go…"

And damn it, just like the day had started and had been going on- everyone were staring after me when I walked through the hallway to go home. While I was walking I turned up some music to have something to think about. But of course, one of my favorites started playing just as I put it on shuffle. Otherwise I would have been happy- but now it just made me feel worse than ever.

Where is the moment you needed the most.

I turned the music off again just as the first line of the refrain started playing- yeah, bad day was exactly what this was- or bad week- year- heck! I had quite a bad life! Nothing ever was made right for me, and whenever I tried to make it right it just ended up in the moment I really didn't need.

I'll go to the park for a bit. I'll eat by myself. Be back soon. –Ken.

I sent the text to Scotty- he was back at Sunshine since only like two days since he got out of jail. And he just seemed like none of it ever happened. And honestly- I wasn't so sure it made me feel better or worse that he pretended it didn't.

Getting out of the school I looked around discreetly, getting out of school a Friday afternoon (yes, I had started on a Friday) people were chattering and laughing about the weekends plans. And just didn't seem to have a care in the world. But with weekends as by the holidays came the flyers and posters with messages from the youth health care. That everybody didn't like getting time off school, because of problems in the family such as alcoholism and abuse. So… how would people react if they knew what I was going home to?

…Maybe if I told anyone they would take me away from Sunshine and get me back to the dumping ground…

Seriously Kennedy? You are more stupid than ever! And that says something.

I did my best to push all those thoughts away- no matter how much I wanted to, I knew there was no way I was going back to the dump anyway. So there was no point with hoping as if would just end up in yet another of my lives' biggest disappointments- and I had many.

In the park I did as I had so many times before. Found one of my favorite trees and laid down underneath it. Lying there would be quite awesome in the summer, staring up in the clear blue skies and sunshine- the few days a year the weather was good would say. It wasn't today, but this worked in the fall under the orange, yellow and brown leaves over and flying around me in the wind.

I could have stayed there forever, see the leaves falling from the branches drying for the fall and just been. I had been going here the first time when I was like five and ever since then this had seemed to be a good place to think. Whether I lied on fresh grass or on snow in the winter- or just mud and water- with the right clothes everything worked. And when not even the window seal seemed to be an alright thinking place- the moments here would be everything I needed.

My photographic memory bothered me with yet one flash of the other passing by of the dumping ground. And more and more for every second I just wanted to go back. If only life could have been so beautiful and perfect as the sunlight starting to reach through a hole in the clouds, coming between the leaves of the trees down on me.

"Where have you been? Your mother is in bed by now and…"

"I lost track of time." I sighed and interrupted Patrick's question coming back to Sunshine after hours under that tree and then strolling around town without plans. "And she goes to bed at six." Without another word I went into mine and mum's room, quickly got into those silly Winnie the Pooh pyjamas and laid on my bed- I didn't have anything better to do anyway.

You do know the people that would be easiest to talk to though…

I quickly pulled up my phone up from my bedside table and searched up my contacts to call Trenton. But as I called him up with the phone to my ear I hesitated. I didn't live with him anymore. anymore and therefore he really shouldn't care about me anymore. Or at least I shouldn't call him up with my stupid problems- and in the middle of my hesitations he picked up the phone.

"Hey Kenny?" He sounded happy- but still worried somehow. "Kenny? Hello… Hello?"

I didn't say anything in reply but still didn't hang up- even with those hello's the sound of his voice made me feel better somehow. That was until he hang up and the line went blank. And everything just seemed worse than ever.

The idea of calling had seemed alright when I first thought of it. But it was however a stupid one. And I could no longer remember or understand why it would have felt alright.

"Dear Lord Kennedy." I told myself. "Why do you have to be so stupid? If you hadn't been so stupid you hadn't gotten into this mess whatsoever."

"What did you say?" Mum rolled over in her bed and turned towards me. "Who's stupid? People sometimes calls me childish and stupid."

"Nobody mum." I tried to assure her. "And you're definitely neither childish nor stupid." It was a good thing mum couldn't see through the clearest lies. "Go back to sleep." I gave her a smile and she smiled back and then turned again while I stood up- I couldn't sleep anyways.

I crawled up in the window seal, leaned my back against one side and put my feet against the other. Like so many times before I could hear mum falling asleep behind me by the sound of her breaths. And like so many times before I could barely see the rain outside from all the drops already stuck to the window.

But I had been here many times before, and I didn't need to look outside to see the view to know what it was. I didn't need to see the view to know the shape of the street lights that were blurred from the rain on the windows. I did not need to see the road, or the houses on the other side of it. I wouldn't even have to close my own eyes to see it in front of me clearly.

But no matter all of the times I had been here before. No matter all of the times I had been at this place, in this house and in this room- this still didn't feel like home. I felt it now stronger than ever before, maybe because I had now felt like home somewhere and could compare.

And maybe because I now knew I wouldn't be going back. I just felt further away from home and more alone than ever. And with that thought I fought away the tears, crawled down into my bed and under the covers. And still fighting away the tears I fell asleep.

I know this chapter makes some really boring deals of things that should be bigger events (Like Scotty coming back and school) but I promise I will make it up to you. And my goal was to get this up before I go to Norway on Thursday so I knew I couldn't make anything good. So… See you all later.

Random fact

Yes, the first line of the song 'bad day' by Daniel Powter is where I got the title for this story.