It's not like anything changed after Christmas and my birthday. There was midnight it was here, there was midnight again and it was Christmas and there was midnight again and it was gone. Some stuff for Boo, some drawing things, a few books and a cake. Oh, and that part where mum was a thousand times more excited than I and super annoying. As if she wasn't annoying always anyway.

"Kenny, wake up."

Ugh!

"Mum let me sleep."

"But it's New Year's Eve."

I pressed my face into the pillow, New Year's Eve of course. Just one more stupid day that would make my mum way too excited. At least Christmas, my birthday and New Year's was done in only a week and we were now at the end…

"Come on. I've got a surprise for you."

"I'll be right there."

I sat up in bed and glared at mum. Like I'd glare at anyone who woke me up from my mid- day nap on a day off school. But at least when I was up she giggled and left the room. If I had been like her I would have hurried after not being able to hold myself calm with excitement for a surprise.

That was what I had been like… When I was five!

"Kenny come on. You're gonna like this one."

"Ugh."

It was like every other morning had been the last month. I was barely awake, then I was. And then I pushed myself up and ran to the toilet not to wet my pants. And then I sat there and hated myself and my life, feeling as sorry for myself as I possibly could until I had to step up and meet this day.

Feeling way too heavy, bloated and my ankles and hips and back hurting I walked down the hallway towards the main room. It was any other day anyway… well until…

"We haven't heard for you in so long we thought I'd give you a New-Year's-Eve surprise."

I stopped in my tracks in the open doorway between the kitchen and the lounge. How I had missed the boy that sat in the softest chair by the window. Now when I saw him it was the same as the million times I called him but hung up as soon as he replied and I didn't know what I should say or if I should say anything at all.

"Trenton?"

Well. That was a good start.

"It's the boy from Newcastle." Mum beamed. "We have been talking on the phone the past week because he wanted to give you a birthday present but he had to stay behind in Newcastle during Christmas. But Mike let him come for New Year's. And he came with the bus so Scotty went to get him and now he's here. And I'll live in Lauren's room for the next couple of nights so you and Trenton can be alone in ours."

Trenton and I only stayed there staring at each other. Mum kept on chattering but I barely heard what she was saying anyway, and ignored her while Trenton took his backpack and I showed him through the hallway.

"And look…" Mum came after us into the room. "Here is my bed, you can borrow that one Trenton. Kenny has been weird and quiet all after she's come back here. Maybe she'll change now when you are here."

"Mum shut up. Come on. Let's go outside." I grabbed Trenton's jacket and gave it to him. "We'll be back before dinner. And no mum, you can't come with us." Before I had the time to hear any protests I pulled Trenton with me outside. "Sorry about her. She gets way too excited. But I guess you noticed that already."

Trenton walked silently by my side. I walked just as silent up to my tree and laid down under the bare branches on the muddy ground.

"What are you doing? You're going to get cold."

"Come here." I patted on the ground next to me. "This is my best thinking spot. "Come on and lie down next to me… This is the best place when I need to think. I come here all year around…"

"But this year isn't like any other. And you haven't only got yourself to worry about and keep warm this year…"

"Just come and lie down."

Trenton sighed, but came and lied down next to me. And there we laid staring up on branches without leaves and the grey, heavy skies.

"This is a good thinking spot. I could lie here for hours."

After that, we said nothing more. We didn't have to. In silence we laid there for like five minutes before suddenly raindrops started dropping down on us. Then without another word I stood up, Trenton followed and in just as much silence I led him back to Sunshine and up to my mum's floor.

"I need a shower."

While I showed Trenton to the bathroom and he locked himself in I walked into my and mum's room. And just like before I had to fight away the tears as soon as I was alone.

In a day or two Trenton would be gone. And then it would all be over, I would be alone. And everything would be back to normal. No matter how far away from normal my whole life was and no matter how much I hated it.

Dinner started just as Trenton came out of the shower. Mum and all her friends were chattering around the table, as if they would never run out of things to talk about. They actually wouldn't since at every meal it would be chattering like this while I sat at the end of the table alone and actually did some eating. I did it today too- except I wasn't alone. And the tension was thick between me and the boy on the other side while I pushed the meat and potatoes back and forth over my plate.

"Come on Kenny." By the time we got to the desert mum was getting sick and tired of my mood. "It's your favorite chocolate-orange-pudding. And we only have that kind of stuff on New Year's. You've got to eat…"

"I brought you some gifts." Trenton interrupted my mum. "Maybe it would be fun opening them now, there's one for your birthday and one for Christmas. Do you want me to bring them here or should we do it in private?" I shrugged. "I'll just go get them."

"You're so lucky aren't you?" Mum nagged while the staff cleaned off the table and Trenton went to get those stupid presents and put the two in front of me on the table. "You get presents on your birthday, then at Christmas. And now you've got presents on New Year's. And darn- I get nothing."

I didn't reply- in front of Trenton. And the others even though they knew my mum it was only embarrassing how much my mum was like a baby. Including that part where she was jealous of others getting present.

"Teenage runaway." I unwrapped a shirt and read the print out loud. "Ha-ha. Very funny. And what is this?" I reached for the second present, which was small, flat and hard. "This is my happy place." It was a wall plaque. "This is my happy place…"

"We thought that when the baby's born you can hang it on the wall somewhere. Because I guess wherever Boo would be you will be and…"

"Yeah." I interrupted, grabbed the shirt and the plaque. "Mum, I and Trenton are going to our room. We want to be alone. Don't interrupt. Not now and at least not until midnight." I grabbed Trenton by the hand and pulled him with me down to our room. Where I slammed the door after me and locked it. "Finally."

I threw the plaque and shirt on mum's bed. I could see a movement in the corner of my eye and saw Trenton crossing the arms over his chest and looking at me with a weird and thoughtful look on his face. I grabbed a card game from a shelf and showed him to sit down on my bed while I sat down in the other end and without another word started handing out the cards.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing."

Sunshine wasn't exactly known for the most exciting place on earth. And I and Trenton spent most of the afternoon playing card games alone in mine and mum's room. Including talking about anything and everything that didn't matter.

"Can't you tell me a bit about what happens on the dumping ground- the dumping ground is never as boring as here so there's got to be something."

"Well…" Trenton gathered the cards and I walked over to my thinking spot in the window seal while I listened closely. There's a new girl- Yazzy. Yazzy and Kim had to share room. Let's just say it did not work out. Someone came up with the brilliant idea of making the attic into a room. It has, but we needed to sort out all the boxes and stuff there so while Yazzy does live in the attic and she's got a bed and a dresser and all of that there is stuff absolutely everywhere. And Michael walks around everywhere getting in the way eating Snickers ice creams."

Trenton bit his lip as if he was wondering about what to say next. Or even if he should continue speaking. I just gestured to him to continue- anything for hearing about the dumping ground.

"Rick turned sixteen and left. Kazima didn't want to leave only days before Christmas but she will be leaving soon and Johnny too. Johnny will be leaving before. Only in a few days. That feels weird for us all, since Johnny's one of them who's been there the longest. But the place is so crowded we all think it's alright if someone leaves… You know what I mean… I mean I didn't want you to leave…"

I gestured to Trenton again. I liked hearing about the dumping ground. It made me feel happier and better than what I had since I had to leave. Trenton sighed.

"Well, you do know Rick, Tyler and Alfie were all sharing. But Alfie wanted nothing more than to move in in the same home as his sister Rowan. They started talking about it in the social services and it seems like Alfie will soon be leaving Elm Tree House and get his wishes granted. And Tyler can't wait to have the room to his own…. Michael can't wait neither but Bailey's hoping Jeremy can move in with him so he can get the room to his own."

When Trenton stopped talking again I gestured again. He sighed but kept talking. I turned my head away from him, looked far away into the night skies and listened to every word he said. Making sure I didn't miss out on anything.

"Kenny."

I hadn't noticed the time going by while Trenton kept on talking. And I didn't want him to start yet, not even realizing I had been wanting to hear stories about the dumping ground for the latest two hours.

"Yeah, what?"

My heart started beating when I heard the tone in his voice when he continued.

"I have got this tradition." Trenton smiled, put his hand towards the covers behind him and leaned back. "Every New Year's Eve…. You know… no matter what had happened during the year I would make something of the last day and when I was like seven I came up with it. So every time on New Year's Eve I tell the truth. Like- whatever question I was asked I would tell the truth. No matter what. There is…" Trenton pulled up his phone and checked the clock. "Three minutes left of 2014. Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah sure." I looked out the window and felt my heart beating by the blood streaming in my ears. I tried not to let it show how nervous I was in an instant when he asked. How nervous I was every time he opened his mouth to speak. "What would you want to ask anyway?"

Or how afraid I was everything that had gone right in my life was never coming back again.

"You want to come back don't you?"

Random fact

This chapter is full of pieces of writing that I just did to get through the chapter. But the chapter needed to get through and I barely had an idea for it anyway, only for how it would end so I hope it's okay anyway. I probably would never have gotten through it any other way.