Thanks to GleeJunkie007 or x snow-pony x for reviewing chapter twenty.

Once we had moved all of my things, still most of it in bags was moved into what would now be mine and Tee's room I sat down on my bed and looked around.

I had never known a care home for children could ever be so quiet as it was right now. Sunshine was for certain never this quiet, but as I stood up and started unpacking my biggest bag and wondered where to put the things. I was more certain than ever I had made the right choice with deciding to come back here.

"Hey Tee." The youngest Taylor was just coming into the room and closed the door after her when I at last talked to her. "Where am I supposed to put my things?"

"Ehm…" Tee hesitated. "That's a very good question. Maybe Mike will let us rearrange some things in here. Either way we need another dresser or wardrobe." Tee looked around in the room. "Maybe Mike will let us rearrange this room a bit. After all you're going to be living here too. So maybe he will let us… MIKE." Tee walked out the room in search for the head care worker and I followed.

Flashback

"You're not happy Kenny." Mum told me, a week or so after I came back to Oaklee. "You're never happy. What can I do to make you happy?" Mum looked around where she sat on her bed in our room to find something- anything that she thought could make me happy. "Would it make me happy if I gave you a cookie from my special, hidden jar?"

I had to suppress a snort. Special, hidden jar. Oh yes! Very much so. It was just that I had known where it always was (at the top shelf in the cupboard to the right) since I was like four. And it was the exact same kind of cookie, that if I didn't want to get one from mum- and hear her moaning about how she had given me a cookie and I still wasn't happy. I could go down to the corner and buy myself a whole pack for like a pound.

"No."

"Do you want to take a walk to your special thinking tree then? I can come with you."

I would go to my 'thinking tree' when I wanted some peace and quiet for myself. And if there was someone I'd never get it with it was Joanie LaRusso herself.

"No."

"Our room has looked like this since you were little and even before that. Would it make you happy if we could change it and paint and put in some new things?"

Don't even get me started.

"No."

"You're never happy anymore."

End of flashback

In the hallway onto our way to find Mike I and Tee met a girl I'd never met before so she must be that new girl Trenton had told me about. Tessie or whatever her name was. Already before any of us had said anything I could see the girl staring towards my belly beneath the half- tight maternity shirt and a disgusted look on her face.

"Oh. You haven't met." Tee started, in a tone that told me all about that she had already seen the look on the girl's face. "Kenny this is Yazzy, she arrived here a month ago. And Yazzy this is Kenny who used to be here before but came back."

I didn't know what to say. And Yazzy still had that weird look on her face that I never knew how to reply too. But as Tee continued down the stairs and Yazzy continued upwards. I turned and followed Tee. And tried to shake off the pictures of other people that had been looking at me like that. They were becoming more and more people.

But there was that very worse…

Flashback

"I'm sorry. I'm waiting for somebody. I'll order when he comes around."

"You been waiting for somebody long time…" The waiter moved away from my table at the café I had made up to meet Jace at. "…Oh well… Is that him here?" I looked up, then nodded as I saw my blonde ex-boyfriend coming up the hallway. "Do you want to order now?"

"No." Jace told the waiter rudely. "Look Ken." He slumped down into the chair on the other side of the table from me. "Just leave me alone…" He glanced up on the waiter that had left our table. "I know what you want and I know that you know that I want nothing to do with it."

"I was just thinking now you know about it for real…"

"I don't care if you so throw the damn baby in the freaking river." I flinched at his words. "I don't care what happens to the damn baby." He stood up, and seemed to ignore that he had been here such a short time the waiter hadn't even gotten back here to take his orders. "…And you don't seem to get that if this comes out my parents will kick me out. So don't you ever talk to me again."

While Jace stomped away, pulling the shoulder strap of his guitar over his head and the waiter looked after him I barely knew where or who I was…

I stood up while tears were rising in my eyes, there was no reason for me to stay here but I had taken up at a table without eating anything so I dropped a few coins in a glass by the cashier and then hurried away.

What on earth would come after this?

End of flashback

"There you are." When we came into the office, I and Tee. Mike spoke before any of us girls had the time. "Let me guess. You want your room rearranged so you can fit into the space the both of you? The answer is yes, but can you stay here for a minute Ken. We need to go through some things. Then we can plan about your room."

Tee nodded, turned around and left the room. She closed the door after her and I turned to Mike while wondering about the whole mess I had gotten in when I came here the first time. Was this the time he would think about some kind of punishment for what I'd gotten into then?

Flashback

"Kenny… Scotty's back."

As if I didn't know that!

It was noon one day in the beginning of November. And I was still lying on my bed. All awake after all, the morning sickness had gotten better within the last two weeks so I wasn't worrying I'd puke all over the floor if I stood up. But most of all I would like to fall asleep over again and sleep through this day. And rather wake up to this whole thing being a dream.

"Kenny, come on…"

"Joanie." Before I had the time I heard Scotty's voice in the hallway right outside our door. "Can I talk to Kenny for a minute? Only with the two of us please."

"The two of us with you and me?"

"No. Only me and Kenny." I heard mum stomped her foot to the floor. "Please Joanie. I and Kenny really need to talk on our own." Mum stomped the floor again, then stomped away towards the living room. "Kenny? Can I come in?"

"Yeah…" I sat up in bed. "Just come in you…"

I and Scotty had met back at the prison at first when I came back to Oaklee and it was being finished with Scotty's name being cleared of all charges. But seeing him still made me feel weirdly afraid, sad and angry with myself. And then it didn't matter how calm he seemed. Just like now when he came to sit down on the edge of my bed.

"Are you okay Ken?"

"Yeah…" I hung my head so he wouldn't be able to see my face behind my fringe. "Scot… I don't know what to say…" I decided to take the bull by the horns right away. "I could say sorry but… it's just not enough." Scotty bit his lip and seemed to want to find an answer. "You say you forgive me but after all…"

"After all, it's very good I have now seen a prison from the inside. I will never commit a crime- never, ever."

"That wasn't very funny."

"Let's make a deal you and I. I will make it a deal with everybody else here too. But you are the most important. Let's just ignore what has happened with the police and prison and everything around that. We have got enough on our plates without worrying about that and that part is over now and we'll never have to worry about it again. Okay?"

I looked up on Scotty from behind my fringe and tried to come up with some good reply. And not until then it hit me what a fantastic person Scotty Marten was. He wasn't more than ten years older than me but more mature than anyone of the others working here. And the way he was willing to just forget and forgive was something that not many people could have done. So at last I just nodded.

"Okay."

End of flashback

"Sit down." I sunk down into the sofa while Mike started talking. "First of all. The kids who are here are mostly the same as when you left. Rick left though. And Johnny, Kazima and Alfie will be leaving soon. The care workers, myself, May-Li and Jessa are the same. Jessa does most of the cleaning and work like that but we're trying to make her interact more with you guys. And I have some plans for another care worker. And then there's the new girl Yazzy. And other than that…"

"Trenton told me back in Oaklee. Well parts of it at least. I bet Alfie's over the moon of finally getting to live with his sister again. I thought he couldn't to keep his sister safe or anything."

"And that's why the process to check if he and Rowan can live together takes months. But yes he is. And the next thing I wanted to talk about, school starts again Monday. But half of the school year is already over and done. And you won't be able to go there for many months anyway." Mike seemed hesitant. "Oh well… did you go to school before the holidays in… in… in… what was it called again?"

"Oaklee. And yes I did."

Flashback

"You know." I heard someone whispering to her best friend behind me in the classroom. "I didn't notice before. But Kenny kind of does look pregnant. Do you think she is?"

"Nah." I recognized the voices of my former best friend Hannah. "She probably just had a big meal and is bloated like hell." I heard giggling and felt my whole body boiling with anger. "Believe me, I spent my whole childhood along with her. Do you know how many thousands of junk food meals we had because her mum threw a tantrum about what she wanted?"

"Kenny's mum?"

"Yeah. You know that woman at the playground who comes with a pack of cookies and make the kids cry because they don't have any and she won't share. And then she shares because she don't want the parents to find out what she did."

"Yeah that Joanie or what her name is? Everyone knows about her! She's like a child isn't she? That is Kenny's mum?"

"Yes it is." I suppressed a sigh. How much else wasn't there that Hannah could tell her new friends, or anyone in the whole school and the whole town about me? "Didn't you know that?"

"No I didn't." I could feel the three girls' visions burning in my neck. "Does Kenny live at that home…"

"The house of the shining sun- mostly goes by Sunshine. Yeah, Kenny shares a room with her mum there."

The few girls at the table behind me silent for a few minutes as they really went through who my mum was and tried to remember her. They didn't have to tell me what they knew- I already knew. I had heard it before.

"I almost kind of feel sorry for her."

End of flashback

"I actually do think it would be the best for… for me… my reputation and everything if I'm going to stay here. And as you know I already missed months of school when I came here. Then I spent a few months in school and now I'm not again. But if I go now I'm forever going to be known as the pregnant girl so yeah… I think it would be for the best if I don't go. If you want me to still do it I guess I could and then someone could bring the work home but… I think it would be the best if I just skip the rest of this year and then start over in the fall."

"I take it people have got a lot to say when a person your age gets pregnant?" I didn't have the time to reply before he continued. "I won't get into your private business. But I do know that it takes two people to get pregnant. And I do know that you Kenny, haven't done anything wrong that led to ending up here."

I rubbed my hands against each other and looked away from Mike, making a failed attempt to hide the tears. Mike handed me a tissue, sat down in his rolling chair and moved closer to me. After which he reached for my hand and slightly rubbed it with his thumb.

"God these hormones."

"If you do experience someone… bullying or trying to get into your business in ways that are making you uncomfortable. Then I want you to come to me with it. And I'll do my best to deal with it. Whether it's in this house or outside. And… I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. But I know for sure that I need to know some things to make things as good as possible for you and your baby. And sometimes we have to ask. But if we, or anyone else ask questions that you feel uncomfortable with then you don't ever have to feel pressured into answering anything okay?"

"Yeah I… I get that." I sniveled and wiped my nose with the tissue Mike had given me. "…And honestly… I do think. Coming straight out and ask me about things are better than going behind my back and whispering, questioning or just comment on things as if they knew something. Because that if anything makes me uncomfortable."

Flashback

"Can you believe it?" I tried to shut the whispering voices out. Especially when I knew it was my former best friend who spoke, just so loud that everyone could hear it. "I mean… Kenny and I have been best friends for our whole lives. I never believed something like this about her."

"You're right." Apparently now Hannah was best friends with the two most popular girls in school and Annemarie continued. "I never really knew her by I'd never believe this about Kenny LaRusso."

"I wonder who the dad is…" Olivia was the last one to speak and I hoped it meant the conversation right behind me in class was over soon. "…And I can never see anyone pregnant without wondering who the dad is or what lead up to it or about the baby and who she or he will be… do you think Kenny knows?"

"Who the dad is?" Annemarie's voice was always finding so rude and like everybody else were stupid. Olivia never were the smartest though… "Of course she does. She's not stupid."

"No. Not the dad. If it's a girl or a boy I mean."

End of flashback

I and Tee would have to get stuff out of our room if we- like Mike had promised us we would been able to, change our room all along with new colors on the walls and everything. But for the moment a tent bed had been put for me by the foot of Tee's bed. And I had a bag there to at least get out the more important things. And reaching furthest into my backpack I found a small piece of paper I hadn't even noticed was there.

And hadn't even remembered for God knows how many weeks…

I glanced to the number on the piece of paper I had been given what felt like a million years ago. Dr. Patricia Dunn it said. And only the fact that she would let me, a patient by her nickname made me trust her. And with that I suddenly just got it.

Flashback

"Look Kenny."

I was at the doctor's in Oaklee and mum and Sarah were with me. And there was no keeping mum calm and quiet when she pointed to the screen while the doctors held his whatever towards my belly and my baby, or what was of it so far. Showed on the sonogram screen. "It's your baby. It's a whole new life."

"Your mother is right isn't she…" Sarah kind of spoke to me as if I was three years old. "It could be a girl or a boy. He or she could end up tall or short or red-haired like you. Or allergic to seafood like you, anything and everything we will find out."

I looked away from mum and Sarah. I hadn't dared telling them that I planned on giving the baby up for adoption once he or she was born. If I could just find a good couple to do it I would. Because there was no way I, fifteen years old, grown-up in a home for retards and more confused than ever could care for a child.

I looked up to the doctor trying to look apologetic for my mum and Sarah continue to chatter about who and how my Boo would become. But he, a man possibly in his sixties only smiled comforting at me and changed the subject.

"Do you want to know if it's a girl or a boy?"

I hesitated. If I had been asked only a few weeks ago I knew that my quick answer would have been 'yes'. But now it just didn't feel right.

"No thank you."

And still, I barely even knew why it didn't feel right. Because walking out of the hospital, hearing mum nagging Sarah that we should eat in the hospital cafeteria before we left I just felt annoyed and more stressed out than ever. And still I didn't get why I had answered him no- or why I would have wanted to answer him no at all.

End of flashback

Now I felt very clear that the reason why I wouldn't want right then to know if the baby was a boy or a girl. And I knew exactly why I actually didn't want to find out anything important about my baby. It was because I didn't want to be alone finding it out.

Flashback

In the evening after we had been at the doctor's. I as usual sat in the window seal in our room, this time wrapped in Johnny's hoodie before I laid down in my bed, pulled the hoodie off and wrapped myself in the covers. Still holding that hoodie tightly to my nose.

And despite the smell of the oen I loved in a way I had never felt before…

…I had never felt more alone.

End of flashback

"Hey Mike... Trenton come here." As good as I could I hurried down the stairs, the dark- haired boy came up to me and Mike came up the hallway in the hallway. "Look… If I call that doctor I was too. Dr. Tricia and get a time. I would… kind of like to not go alone there and… You guys have been there a lot for me a lot since I came here no matter what I did and… I'd… I'd like to know whether the baby is a boy or a girl. And if that's okay I'd like you to come with me because I want…"

"The answer is yes." Mike interrupted me. "If you want me to come with you then yes I will. And if you want Trenton too to come with you I'm sure we can sort it out somehow."

I nodded and before I had the time pressed in the number from the paper piece I held in my other hand and held the phone to my ear- my hand shaking towards my side so bad I had to let Mike hold the phone with the speakers on.

"Yes, Patricia Dunn?"

"Hello Dr. Tricia…" I spoke as fast as I could nervously. "My name is Kennedy… My name is Kenny. I was in the ER a few months ago. I don't know if you remember me."

"You're that girl in the hospital… pregnant and with dehydration right?"

"Yes that's me."

"Yes. Some patients one just remember easily. How are you? How's the baby?"

"Both I and the baby are great. But… it's a long story. But I'd like to do a regular checkup and you know… find out whether the baby is a boy or a girl… I was hoping to do it as soon as possible… could you possibly help me?"

Random fact

I have always known whether the baby is a girl or a boy. One of the scenarios I have got planned the longest is one of the ending scenes of this whole story. But… since I put up the last chapter of this story and this. I have changed some plans… however, I do still know the baby is a…