Lady Caroline was nearly eighteen the day Queen Elinor called her into the royal presence. Perhaps there was nothing remarkable in that, after all, Lady Caroline spent every day in the royal presence. But this time was different for Queen Elinor had an important matter to discuss with the young lady... a matter that would change the girl's life forever.
Curtseying gracefully before her aunt, Caroline murmured her morning greeting.
"Ah, Caroline, my dear, how are you this morning?" the Queen spoke graciously, extending her hand to her niece.
"I am very well, Aunt Elinor," Caroline replied, trying to smile. A vague sense of uneasiness had filled her heart and she couldn't seem to shake the feeling of foreboding.
"I have asked you here in order to discuss something of great importance with you." The queen paused, as if to allow the full effect of the importance of her news to sink in. "As you know, you are nearly eighteen years of age and quite old enough to be married."
"Married?" Caroline gasped, her face turning pale. "But Aunt Elinor, I-"
"Please don't interrupt me," the queen frowned, raising a hand. "As I was saying, you are quite old enough to be married and, as a daughter of the king's brother, your marriage is quite important to the future of the kingdom."
"The future of the kingdom!" Caroline cried, trying to grasp the full meaning of what was about to take place.
"Indeed," the queen continued. "The possibilities for a suitable marriage are being looked into and I hope we shall be able to arrange a match soon. I hope you shall be very happy, my dear."
Caroline did not answer. She kept her eyes fixed on the ground, avoiding the queen's piercing gaze.
"I have reason to believe we shall soon receive a royal visitor," Queen Elinor smiled, hoping to raise Caroline's spirits. "And, I do believe, he is most anxious to meet you again."
"Who can it be?" Caroline murmured, her lips white.
"Prince David of Beauvai. I understand you have met on a few occasions. I am certain you will find him very pleasant."
"Yes." Caroline whispered. "Pleasant." She paused and the room was silent for a moment. Then she looked up at the Queen.
"Might I be excused, Aunt Elinor?" she asked earnestly. "I would request permission for a brief ride before I go to attend Her Majesty, Queen Edith."
"Certainly, my dear, certainly." Queen Elinor said generously. "John will be sent for and you may go at once."
Murmuring her thanks, Caroline curtseyed and left the room, willing her hands to stop trembling.
oOo
Caroline was silent as John helped her mount Regina and she followed him from the palace courtyard. Beyond the palace gates, the familiar old meadow seemed overcast and gray. The sun was covered with clouds that day and a chilly wind blew. The only birds that could be heard were the wild geese, honking overhead as they headed south. Caroline bent low in her saddle, her head bowed against the force of the chilling wind. Wisps of golden hair blew about her face but she made no effort to brush them away.
John made no remark as to her silence. He seemed, somehow, to understand as he looked at her, compassion filling his blue eyes. He rode quietly at her side, saying nothing. They did not gallop then but trotted slowly across the plain.
As they reached the summit of the highest hill in the vicinity, Caroline lifted her head, craning her neck to peer at the gray skies overhead. Both had reined their horses to a halt and many moments passed before she at last broke the silence.
"Sometimes I wish I had wings," she said softly, meditatively. "I would join those geese in their flight, soaring high, high into the sky, away from all plots and plans that others have made for my future."
John still said nothing but he, too, raised his eyes to the sky. He wished he could say something, anything to comfort her but he could not find the words.
"Do you know," she turned to him suddenly. "That the Queen intends to marry me off to a foreign prince whom I barely know and have barely even seen? She thinks I'm just a contract, apparently, to be handed over at will to any other kingdom." She looked down again, adding softly, "I could never marry someone I didn't... love."
"I can't speak from experience," John began quietly. "I am not important enough for my fate to be united with the fate of kingdoms. But I can understand how you feel. I, too, could never marry someone I didn't love."
"But you are fortunate," Caroline said wistfully. "You are free-free to marry whomever you choose! You are not bound by any royal title."
John lifted his head and his eyes met hers. For a moment she read something there she had never before seen. Sorrow, suffering, agony… love? Could it be? She caught her breath and her heart fluttered anxiously.
"You are wrong, Lady Caroline," he said slowly. "I am not free. It is because I have no title that I have no freedom." They were so close that the sides of their horses were touching. He reached out and took her hand in his.
"There is a lady," he continued. "The sweetest and loveliest lady I have ever known. And I love her with my whole heart and soul. But she is a lady not only in manners but in title as well. And I am just a servant. So there is nothing that I can do. I am not free to love her, or even to tell her that I do. So you see, I am bound. Not by a royal title, but by servanthood."
"Oh, John!" Caroline burst into tears and bowed her head. He leaned forward and took her in his arms, holding her while she cried into his shoulder. For a long moment they sat there, the horses standing still as statues as if understanding the plight of their riders. It wasn't until the first few drops of rain began to fall that they returned to reality. Caroline lifted her tear-stained face at last as John released her.
"I should be getting back to the palace," she murmured but made no move to turn her horse.
"We should probably make a run for it," John agreed, glancing at the darkening skies. "Are you ready?"
Caroline nodded and managed a weak smile.
"Let's ride like the wind."
At that, John spurred his chestnut gelding and sped ahead. Regina followed, tossing her head with the joy of freedom as Caroline bent low over her neck and let out the reins. The young couple was able to briefly forget their troubles as they tore across the meadow. But in spite of their speed, they were dripping wet by the time they entered the palace gates. Pulling up before the stable, John helped Caroline dismount.
"You'd better hurry inside and change into something dry," he said absently. "Don't want to catch cold."
"I'll be all right," Caroline nodded. What cared she for colds when her world was crumbling into dust at her feet? The ache in her heart was certainly worse than a headache or sore throat could be. But she turned obediently toward the palace.
"Caroline," John said her name quietly. It was the first time he had ever called her just "Caroline", rather than "Lady Caroline". She stopped as he came up beside her.
"I'll be... praying for you," he said softly. "I'll pray that all will go well and you will be able to find happiness." She did not reply, just looked back at him, her grey eyes large and filled with sorrow. He bent down and kissed her cheek, then turned and vanished into the stables. With a heavy heart, she trudged back to the palace, wishing with all her heart that she was nothing more than a kitchen maid.