Chapter Thirteen: Sold Your Soul
...when we finally know we are dying, and all other sentient beings are dying with us, we start to have a burning, almost heartbreaking sense of the fragility and preciousness of each moment and each being, and from this can grow a deep, clear, limitless compassion for all beings.
-Sogyal Rinpoche
A lone green eye fluttered as the warm rays of sun licked his face. Murmuring softly, he looked around to see he was in Rikku's bed, "Did I do it? Did I finally accomplish Cid's task?" The sun's warmth rubbed his face as he looked to his left to see an opened envelope on the nightstand. Curiosity hugged his mind and he watched his hand grab the envelope. Pulling out the letter from inside its papery chambers, he pulled the letter away from his face to get a better view of the scribbled words. "Sloppy…heh, just like mine."
The small smile he wore when the rays of the sun woke him up suddenly began to fade into a frown. His sun-kissed face turned pale as he read the shocking words on a single piece of parchment. Fearfully his eye moved toward signature of the writer of this dirty letter. "No fucking way…" he choked as he read two words: 'Love, Baralai.' Gippal's mouth dropped and he quickly shoved the letter inside before placing it back on the nightstand.
Staring at the bed and the wrinkled sheets that haunted his mind, he peered and felt his eye twitch when he saw a certain mess beside him. Dried and caked but the smell seemed to linger throughout the bed. "'Sorry for the mess I made of your sheets, I guess you might have to wash them when you have a chance,'" Gippal quoted from the obscene letter. Shivering in disgust, he hurriedly got out of the bed and ran to the shower with one thought in mind: Clean off Rikku's and Baralai's 'mess' that's on you.
Why should I care…for Spira's sake I slept with the man!
But it's Rikku's and Baralai's, not just his.
True…but I shouldn't be over exaggerating.
Cid is going to shot you in the nuts.
Yeah…I figured that.
You can stop him.
Gippal began to battle with his conscience as he turned on the shower. His lone eye sparkled slightly as he heard his conscience speak of 'stopping' his nuts from blowing up into a million pieces. "Stop Cid…only a fool would say that," Gippal murmured as he allowed the cold water to send shivers through his body. His body jerked slightly as the water slowly began to grow colder. "Shit...this sucks," he growled as he grabbed his eye patch off and tossed it over the shower curtains.
A glazed eye stared blindly at the wall as a wave of despair rushed through his body. Leaning his head on the cool wall, he whispered softly to the falling water, "I…still love her." His conscience seemed to pity him and replied comfortingly, you can stop him. "How? Is it even worth it? I thought I was first doing this for revenge, than for Cid, and now for myself. I'm pathetic…god I need some beer," Gippal gave out a choked laugh as he forced himself to smile.
Alright than…how do I stop Cid?
I meant the praetor.
Hmm? How do I stop him?
Simple…kill him.
"Are you crazy? Am I going crazy! I can't kill 'Lai…we're pals. For Yevon's sake I slept with the man!" Gippal spoke quietly so that no one else could hear him. Will you please stop bringing that up…it makes me sick. Gippal scoffed as he realized he was fighting at himself. I meant kill his love for Rikku. The Al Bhed sighed in relief at hearing this; nodding in agreement he turned the shower off. Climbing out of the shower, he grasped his eye patch and shoved it on his face. "Right-o."
Drying his body off, he placed his clothes on but found himself sidetracked as he spotted his face in the mirror. His hands immediately began to mess around with his hair until it was his usual style. Taking the time to admire his handsome face and other features of his body, he placed his shirt on and grinned. "Gippal you are handsome as ever," he smirked as he walked out of the bathroom. He paused when he heard giggling; he felt his stomach take a drop as he realized it was from a certain beautiful Al Bhed.
Peering around the corner and down the stairs he watched the Praetor of New Yevon and Cid's girl sit on the couch. Their thighs were touching each others as the praetor whispered something into her ear. His index finger was making small circles on the skin above her knee. Rikku just giggled as she stared at his index finger with a dazed look on her face. Disgusting…that should be me! I wonder what they are whispering about?
He watched in horror as 'Lai's index finger began to move up; feeling something snap inside of him, he walked down the stairs and made sure they could hear him. They slowly parted away as they stared at the smiling Gippal. "Wow, what a sleep. So what time is it?" the Al Bhed asked as he focused his attention on the blushing Rikku.
"Twelve o' clock."
"Damn, I totally forgot about work. I guess I'm a day late. Shouldn't you be heading out to, 'Lai?"
"I guess…I really don't want to. I bet they thought I was kidnapped and probably sent a search party," Baralai sighed heavily as he got up. His chocolate eyes stayed on Gippal's face. Baralai already caught on to what the Al Bhed was doing, his voice said it all. "I'll see you around then, Rikku," he sighed again as he leaned down to kiss her lightly on the ear. Gippal resisted the urge to emit a low growl, so instead he made his way to the door.
Baralai's presence seemed to make the Al Bhed sink into a higher state of anger. He could practically fell the heat that radiated from the Yevonite, who was now beside him. They walked through Killika in an uncomfortable silence as Gippal countinued to stare firmly at the ground. Gippal suddenly felt a grin creep up on the praetor's face. He could just feel that grin burning through the air.
"Hey Gippal," the olive-skinned man spoke out softly as his words floated through the air. Gippal gave a grunt in response as he didn't even bother to look up. "Are you jealous of me?" Baralai countinued in the same soft voice. Jerking his head up toward the Praetor of New Yevon, he gave a surprised look. Is it that obvious? Am I that obvious? Of course I'm jealous! I'm fucking pissed off!
Gippal just remained silent as they were about to go their separate paths. "You know lying is said through words and silence. Don't you dare think of laying one finger on her... No one likes there emotions to be played with…especially me," Baralai warned in an innocent and calm voice as he felt Gippal come toward him from behind. A shiver ran down his back as he felt the Al Bhed's warm breath caress his ear. Seymour…Seymour… Oh god…him. Something about this brought up the retched man; his breath quickened as his eyes widened slightly in pain and shock.
"Who said I was after her? You should know, 'Lai, I'm after you," the Al Bhed whispered playfully as he struggled to keep a smiling face. Gippal wanted to punch the Yevonite square on the face, but something told him to stop. Before Baralai could reply, Gippal locked an arm around the man's neck and brought him down to his chest. Rubbing his knuckle on the dove-white hair, he watched with content as the praetor squirmed in discomfort. Just act playful and innocent…then he might leave.
"Oww! Gippal!" Baralai whined as he stared at a pink-colored chalk that lay abandoned on the floor. His head screamed with pain as he remembered the morning ritual from Gippal back in the Crimson Squad days. "Fuck…you," Baralai winced as Gippal pressed harder as he laughed. Finally stopping, he allowed his hand that performed the torture to drop.
"We all ready did that, remember? You lost because I got on top in the end," Gippal snickered as he pulled the still squirming man down as he took a seat on the ground. Baralai muttered curses at the comment as he attempted to break free of the Al Bhed's grip. Taking the pink chalk, Gippal drew a heart and wrote in big letters: 'Lai and Gippal forever!' Baralai grumbled sourly and he finally broke free, scuffing the letters with his boot, he countinued to grumble. "'Lai, you hurt my heart. Kiss it, please."
Brushing himself off, he caught the sight of Gippal's pathetic pout and sighed softly. "Next time, you won't be so lucky," Baralai smiled as he walked away. Gippal just grinned until the praetor was a good distance away. Frowning and narrowing his eye in hate, he clenched his fists.
"I hate you…your lucky that I acted so friendly," Gippal growled as he felt a wave of relief fill him from expressing his feelings now. "I'll break you…I'll make you regret looking at Rikku. I'll kill off your love for her…for I can and I done it before," he whispered savagely. Storming away with a dark look on his face, he realized he sold his very soul to his own hate but the thing was…that he actually liked it.
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"Picket…shut it," the Al Bhed mumbled as he heard the machina buzz in his ear. "Can't I sleep!" he cried out in pain as he felt his sheets leave him. The machina just crackled and it seemed to be laughing at him. Muttering curses, he waved his hand at the machina in hope of ridding it. "So much for my 'favorite' machina," he whispered into his pillow. The cold draft nipped his bare skin as goosebumps began to form on his legs and arms.
Beaten by the chilling daft, he finally sat up and rubbed his blind eye roughly. "Bastard…dammit Picket! Get out unless you want to keep on seeing me naked," he yelled at the machina that just hovered in front of him like a fly. Seeing that it wasn't going to answer him, he got up and gave dirty look to the machina. Grabbing the clean clothes in his closet, he dragged himself to the bathroom. Shoving the clothes on with frustration, he glanced at his wild hair and nodded with satisfaction. It seemed to give him a crazy and darker appearance, which matched his mood entirely.
Exiting the bathroom he glared at the machina that immediately began to hover around him. Taking his eye patch, he placed it on gently before staring at the machina. "Alright then…what do you want of me?" Gippal growled as he glowered at it.
Picket just danced around him before finally answering him, "Well, you have work. You now are two days late! Also, they need you in the Bikinal Desert. They found some good-looking machina that could help us excavate more crap." Gippal just rolled his eyes and made his way back to the bed with a lazy expression etched on his face. "That one Al Bhed chick will be there…you know, Cid's girl," Picket added quickly as the machina observed Gippal's movements.
His once slouched position suddenly straightened up and Gippal spun around on his heels to face the machina. "R-really?" Gippal choked but suddenly cleared his voice and wore a haughty posture, "Hmm. Right, I should check up on this new machina. Let's go then…" With that said, Gippal trotted out of the room with chattering Picket trailing after him like an amused dog that chases after it's frantic owner.
The ride over there was nerve-racking; as Gippal's right leg wouldn't keep still. Picket watched his creator's leg move up and down in a mad fury as his foot tapped the metal floor. He never saw Gippal nervous before, so his circuits were beginning to overheat as he saw this odd emotion. "Yo, Gippal. Why are you so…agitated?" Picket finally asked curiously, but he got a pained look from Gippal before he turned back to the sandy dessert.
The camp was in sight and Gippal's heart did a few flips as he finally realized what 'butterflies in your stomach' means. "Not agitated…just lovesick and nervous," Gippal replied softly as he turned off the hover as it reached camp. Jumping out with haste, he quickly scanned the area and spotted Nhadala scolding at someone. Picket just returned to the pilot without another word as he quickly soaked in all the information he received.
"Yo Nhadala, have you seen Cid's girl around? I need to give her a message from her pops," Gippal grinned as he walked beside the scowling Al Bhed. Waving the person she was frowning on away, she gave a warm smile to her boss. "So…seen Cid's girl?" Gippal asked again calmly as he rubbed the back of his neck.
Nhadala nodded and placed her hands on her hips, "I have seen her. She headed over to the Oasis…strange thing is that – " Gippal thanked her and dashed off before staying to listen to her. " – the Praetor of New Yevon is also heading toward the Oasis." she mumbled the last part to herself as she shook her head in frustration. "When will you settle down?" Nhadala whispered before looking around for the victim of her scowling that managed to scamper off.
Gippal found a young woman hunched by the water's edge, her hair touching her bare back. A soft smile found its way on his face as he walked slowly to her side. "Rikku," he breathed in a longing voice as he stood beside her. Rikku stood up and turned to face the Al Bhed with tears trailing down her beautiful cheeks. "Rikku?" he asked worriedly as he placed his hands on her shoulders.
"Gippal…it's pops. He talked to me afternoon about how I am disgracing the Al Bheds. That I'm bringing Spira into ruin…just like…Baralai," she whispered as she buried herself into Gippal's welcoming chest. She felt arms wrap around her comfortingly as she felt Gippal's warm breath kiss the back of her neck. "What should I do?" she asked quietly as she felt more tears pour out of her eyes.
"You should do whatever makes you feel happy and safe. You don't deserve to go through such pain throughout your life," Gippal replied as he stroked her hair sorrowfully. It's not even worth doing this anymore…of course she is going to say how 'Lai makes her happy. Figures… "I don't want to see you cry anymore…" he whispered into her ear. He felt Rikku pull back so she could look up at him with her shinning emerald eyes.
"Gippal…you make me feel happy and safe," she whispered back as she kissed the Al Bhed's moist lips. Immediately Gippal kissed back as he pulled her closer to him. "I won't cry now…you're with me," she whispered into his mouth. Gippal just countinued to kiss her as their kiss deepened; the wind blew up a cloud of sand, there standing by a rock but hidden by its shadow rested two furious eyes.
Those eyes watched the two leave after five minuets of non-stop lip massaging. A shiver rotated through the body as the eyes finally blinked in shock and realization. "The world upon your back will crack," a voice spoke quietly to it's self as a tired body walked toward the sunlight. Olive-colored skin glistened in the bright sun as the heat seemed to leave him cold and defenseless. "I gave you my love, my heart, and my will. You turned it away like it was just a request that you can decline or accept," he murmured.
Hunching down he stared at the sky and closed his eyes, "How do I erase memories that linger on my body? How do I rebuild my respect that I lost because of you? Spira laughs at me…I was just being used. The only real question is: 'What do I do?'" Thinking this over he suddenly gave a mad smile and stood up with eyes sparkling with a hidden secret. "'People may call me mad…heh, I call it love,'" Baralai laughed as he quoted Seymour's exact words before he left to meet his demise.
A/N: There you go, it isn't as long as the other previous chapters...but it almost reaches that category. Don't forget to review if you have a comment or question, for I am all ears. For the 'hits' I am always surprised and the lucky number is: 1626! Yeah! I say we throw another Some Random Number Palooza! Hurray! I love you all and I love more than muffins!