Title: If You Don't
Author: Megg
Feedback: is always greatly appreciated.
Pairing: Mark/Maureen
Rating: PG/PG-13...Roger has a mouth...
Genre: General
Summary: "Even if your heart would listen, I doubt I could explain"
Notes: Entry for speedrent...didn't win anything and is, honestly, not what I would call my best work. Split into 3 chapters (4 counting lyrics) for easier reading.
Special Thanks: Everyone!
Spoilers: Um...if you've never seen RENT, I wouldn't read this...
Warnings: Swearing, lovies. And I totally messed with the timeline of April's sucide and when Mark and Maureen called it quits, so if you're canonpurist, don't read!
Disclaimer: Alright, hate to admit it, but I don't own RENT, or Jimmy Eat World, from who I stole the song lyrics for dialogue and title...the song is "If You Don't, Don't" and you'd best download it now, it's amazing.
1989
They broke up on Valentine's Day.
Somewhere deep inside, although he was still in some state of shock, Mark laughed at the irony of it all. He'd known all along that something was not quite right with their relationship, but still, he'd always thought that she'd loved him. No matter what she did or didn't do, he had thought that she loved him. Apparently, he was wrong.
He was going to propose to her that night. He'd known her since they were in middle school and been together since after he left Brown. It just seemed like the right thing to do. Not that his mother agreed. Or Roger, or April, or Collins, or Benny, for that matter. But he didn't care. He loved Maureen. And she loved him. That was all that mattered. Wasn't it?
She'd walked into the loft, late for the dinner he had made and smelling like someone else. "Sorry, pookie," she'd apologized brightly. "Auditions ran long. You know how they can be!"
"Yeah," he'd muttered to himself. "Yeah, I know. Auditions. Yeah."
"Something wrong?"
"No...no, nothing. Sit, eat. It's only lukewarm."
So they'd sat down and ate. And for awhile it was like old times. They talked and they laughed and Maureen forgot about the other men and so did Mark. And as he looked at her, he thought to himself, "Maybe if I can get her to settle down, with me...maybe things will always be this way." So he got down on one knee.
"Oh, pookie..." she'd cried when he'd opened the box. "Oh, pookie..."
"Would you mean this, please, if it happens?" he asked her.
"Oh...oh, baby...Marky...Mark, there's someone else."
"Someone...else?" he choaked.
"Yes. I've been seeing them for maybe a month or more." She at least had the decency to look ashamed. "I can't marry you, Pookie. I don't love you."
"You...you've been seeing him for a month and you couldn't tell me?"
"Pookie...her name is Joanne."
"Her?" Mark was sure that his entire world was tilting on it's axis. He couldn't seem to stay balenced and Maureen's face was spinning in front of him. "A...girl?"
"I'm sorry," she whispered as she stooped to kiss his cheek. "Maybe someday you can forgive me." And then she walked out the door.
He sat on the couch for awhile after she disappeared out the door, looking at the tiny ring in the box. His mind didn't seem to grasp the fact that she was, in fact, gone. He hoped she would walk through the door soon and tell him it had all been a joke.
Suddenly the door rolled open and April stormed in, Roger hot on her heels. "What the fuck is wrong with you!" He screamed at her. "Something's been wrong with you all night!"
"Nothing is wrong with me! Just...just leave me alone!" she yelled back and slammed the door to their room.
Roger left out a wordless groan/yell and then glared at Mark. "What the fuck are you looking at?" he snarled.
"Nothing," Mark answered, a little sadly. "I'm sure everything will be okay tomorrow." Then he got up and walked to his own room.
But the next day April was dead in the bathtub and Roger was HIV+ and nothing would ever be okay again.
Thoughts?