Caution: The following chapter is pure, unadulterated happy crap. Please do not read if you are a cynic/pessimist.

10

Buffy sat on the couch in her small living room back in Rome, worrying a thread loose from the arm of it. She couldn't stop thinking that this wasn't where she belonged; she was never one to sit on the sidelines during a battle and this was killing her. Willow came into the room and leant against the doorframe, staring at her old friend and clutching a cup of tea. Buffy jumped as the Wicca spoke, betraying her inattentiveness, Giles would have scolded her for not being on her guard, Willow just comforted her.

"Still worrying?" she asked, moving slightly closer. Buffy's eyes were rimmed red, from crying and lack of sleep. Her newest tendency to just pick at her food, was taking its toll and her cheekbones were beginning to take on a distinct Spike-like quality. They had been back from L.A for over a month and Buffy had yet to sleep more than two hours a night or eat more than a meal per day. Buffy's tone had adopted a slightly frantic, panicked undercurrent, unnerving Willow.

"I'm not worried." Buffy lied quickly. Willow cast a suspicious glance at the arm of Buffy's couch, which was close to tatters. Offering Buffy the cup of tea, she sat down next to her best friend.

"Sure" Willow laughed quietly. She sneaked a furtive smile as Buffy sipped her tea. Unbeknownst to Buffy, Willow had slipped some calming herbs into her tea, nothing huge, just something to help Buffy sleep. The Slayer drained her tea and almost immediately her eyes began to droop. She smiled weakly, apologetically at Willow.

"I'm sorry, Will, I . . . . ." Buffy trailed off and Willow waved her excuse away.

"Don't worry about it, Buff" But even before Willow had finished speaking, Buffy's head drifted down to meet the half-ravaged arm of the couch, her breath coming in short, even increments. Willow smiled. Finally she thought. Doing her best to avoid making any noise, Willow went to the linen closet and removed a blanket and pillow. The pillow, she laid carefully under the sleeping Slayer's head and she covered her gently with the blanket. Buffy, oblivious to this, was already on her way to dreamland.

Buffy sat in a giant field of white flowers, the snow-white blanket stretching as far as the eye could see, and even further still. She toyed with one of the flowers in her lap, gently removing each petal in the childish game of 'He loves me, He loves me not'. Looking down, Buffy saw a dark shadow form against the paleness of the sun-tinted flowers. Looking up, she saw Angel, bruised and battered and in obvious pain. Buffy got to her feet quickly and raced over to him, catching him as he fell. His dark clothes were ripped and bloodied and his face was no different, Buffy could barely recognize her first love. Buffy sat, cradling Angel's head in her lap and the blood seeping from his many wounds quickly stained her white clothing, she didn't notice though, only focused entirely on him. She ripped a swath of fabric from the bottom of her skirt and began to dab at his face with it, attempting to clean up as much blood as possible.

"Angel, what happened?" she asked, still mopping up his blood. Angel smiled weakly, before wincing in pain.

"I tried to go up against something even the Slayer couldn't fight" The worry, evident on Buffy's face was joined by concern, not only for Angel but for everyone.

"The big battle, what happened?" Angel saw her expression through his pain and hastily attempted to soothe her.

"Don't worry, we won, at least, I think we won. It's just, I didn't come out looking too good" He gestured weakly at his battered frame and winced once more.

"Try not to move, it'll only hurt more." She took a breath and kept dabbing gently at his wounds before continuing.

"So, what happened?" Angel swallowed hard, deciding how to phrase his answer.

"It was bigger than we thought; it was bigger than anything I've ever faced before. It . . . . ." Angel trailed off, the memory of too much blood shed still too fresh, Buffy noticed this and swiftly changed the subject.

"How did you find me here?" A real smile graced Angel's battered face.

"I always know where you are, Buffy" Angel grimaced, realizing how ominous his words sounded and quickly said;

"What I mean to say is that; I have my sources" Realizing this was no better than his last comment, he winced. Buffy had to laugh.

"Angel, you've been in the intimidating business for too long, I understand what you mean though." The vampire smiled in relief and Buffy felt an irresistible tug at her heartstrings.

"I love you, you know that, right?" he asked. Buffy grinned.

"Of course, everyone loves me, it's impossible not to" Angel didn't return her smile, his face solemn and brooding. Definitely not new territory for him.

"And I'm sorry, I hurt you so much, that's not what I wanted at all. It was just so hard, with the curse and all but I couldn't help myself."

"It's alright, Angel, those wounds have long since healed."

"But not that day in L.A, the one I made you forget" Buffy's smile faltered an inch, before resuming its regular if not normal position.

"No, not that one. That one's still fresh and bloody and oozing all over the place, but it'll heal. They always do"

"Not this one" Angel murmured, so quiet, Buffy wasn't sure she was meant to hear it. Still in obvious pain, Angel raised his head to gaze into Buffy's eyes.

"Look, Buffy, I'm sorry, I tried. We could have been together, we could have found some way to make it work, some way to get rid of the loophole and I'm sorry, I wasn't strong enough." Confusion was etched into every line of Buffy's face.

"Angel, what's going on?" Angel leant towards her and kissed her gently on the lips. He got up slowly, gingerly and walked away from Buffy, never taking his eyes off of her.

'I love you' he mouthed once more. Before Buffy's eyes, Angel was shot through with a powerful white light; it engulfed him, hiding him from Buffy's view. Suddenly, two lights ricocheted off of him and speared Buffy, one through her stomach, one through her heart and he was gone.

Buffy woke up with a start as the doorbell shocked her out of her unconscious state. "I got it" she called sleepily to Willow, who was puttering around in the kitchen. She swiftly crossed the small space between the living room and the front door. Buffy swung the door open, not knowing what to expect. Spike stood just outside her doorframe, head bowed, crystal blue eyes brimming over with tears.

"Buffy, I'm sorry."