Golf War Lost
...
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
I THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING!
...III...
Pacifica Northwest was NOT happy, this was supposed to be an easy victory over that loser Mable...instead she was running roughshod over her!
She just didn't understand it, she was hitting her swings perfectly...yet for some reason the course always seemed to redirect her balls anywhere BUT the holes! And the opposite for Mable!
She was starting to panic a bit...she could actually LOSE this...and her parents...she paled but shook it off and got a look of determination on her face...
She HAD to win! No matter the cost!
She actually smiled as Mable's dory brother walked by...silently thankful for her mother's 'special' lessons...
...
Dipper smirked as he saw Pacifica approach, "Well Pacifica, seems like money can't buy every-HURK!
It was a stunned Dipper that found his balls in a vice grip...
Pacifica snicked as what she felt was barely bigger then her pinkie toe!, "Wow, you really are more girl then boy aren't you?" Then her grin grows even bigger as he fells his 'reaction'. "You seriously get off on this weirdo? Hmph, this is going to be even easier then I thought...
Before Dipper could protest, he found himself playing tonsil hockey with the blonde!
While literally pulling him by his SHORT and curlies, she all but forced Dipper to go into the tall grass for some privacy...
Bit by bit Pacifica pulled off a piece of his clothes while he was distracted by making out and having his balls getting repeatedly squeezed, just small stuff at first, but with her scissors handy she easily cut off the big stuff too...soon Dipper was completely naked while she was still fully clothed.
Pacifica smirked at the sight of proof that 'LITTLE dogs really did bark the loudest'...and quickly used her camera phone to take some pictures of said 'proof'...as well as some other tasty shots...
She then quickly multi-tasks what she was doing and sets the camera phone up nearby...she then quickly detangles herself from him...
Dipper- having been too flustered/scared/aroused/'scareroused'/in pain to do anything up to this point -finally snapped out of it...and saw his nudity!
Hey, what the heck Pacifica!" He grabbed her by her shirt, angrily demanding what the deal was AND his clothes back-
Then to his shock, she started to go limp in his grip and start to sob.
Oh, please no! Don't! I'm begging you! Someone save me! HELP!" She shouted, before pressing a hidden button in her glove.
Dipper eye's widened, "What are you-
Pacifica's mask of terror went back to triumphant as she pointed toward her camera phone...recording...
"I just sent that recording- of YOU: a crazy naked boy attacking me and trying to violate my virtue -to a trusted corespondent who's handled such thing sin the past. All I have to do is send a signal...or NOT send a certain signal in a certain amount of time...that recording hits the internet and you'll be hounded by my lawyers AND the police...hope you like prison food!" She taunted.
Dipper groaned...between Pacifica being the town darling, super rich..and a GIRL...he knew how this would go down...
"What do you want?" He asked with a defeated groan that was music to Pacifica's ears...
"The game. How are you rigging it?"
Dipper sighed, 'Sorry Mable, but there's no way I'm going to jail over a MINI-GOLF contest...'
It took some convincing, but Dipper was able to persuade Pacifica that the lilliputians did in fact exist...
"Okay...weird, but whatever! And just to make sure you don't warn your sister...heh, oh who am I kidding? I'm mainly doing this for kicks..." Said Pacifica as she gleefully gathered up the remnants of Dipper's clothes to take with her...
Dipper's eye's went wide as he panicked, "Whoa, wait! Come on Pacifica, your not seriously going to leave me like this!?" He shouts desperately.
Pacifica was about to just dismiss him...when she got ANOTHER idea...
"You know what...your right!"
Dipper gave a relived sigh. "Thanks Pacifica, that's- HURK!OHCOMEON!" Squeaked Dipper as once more his balls got squeezed.
While he hurt, she took out a permanent marker...and wrote 'Property of Pacifica Northwest' across BOTH his ass checks...and across both sides of his schlong...and on both his balls!
Pacifica chuckled, "Good thing my calligraphy class made me practice writing my name on a grain of rice as punishment...I'd never have gotten this otherwise!" She mocked before letting him drop to the ground before she sauntered off.
"I'd say I just killed any hope of you EVER getting laid...but who are we kidding? That ship sailed, crashed and burnt LONG before I showed up..." With that last burn, she left Dipper to nurse his abused privates in the tall grass in peace...
After all...she had a mini-golf tournament to win...
...III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
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