WARNING: CONTAINS STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT. IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 DO NOT READ THE END OF THIS CHAPTER!
"I don't know how to tell you…"
Usagi hung up the phone with Mamoru and went to go wash her face. It was earlier that she was usually awake and she decided to take advantage of it. The past few days had been really hectic. Mamoru leaving, shopping with mom, dinner and dancing with the Starlights, it was too much too fast.
Although, I did love the way his arms felt around me...so warm and safe.
"Usagi, I will always be here for you."
"Seiya," she breathed back. "Thank you for being here with me."
Seiya leaned down to kiss Usagi on her check and she turns just enough that he kisses the corner of her mouth. Such soft lips, she thinks to herself.
"Usagi, I have to tell you something."
"What is it Seiya?"
"Usagi," Seiya's next works were lost as the slow song ended and a loud pop song started blaring. Mina, who had been dancing nearby, grabbed Usagi and dragged her farther into the dance floor. Seiya's face was quickly lost as they were swallowed in the crowd.
Usagi shook her head to clear it of the lingering vision of his beautiful face. She bathed, dressed and went downstairs to help her mother with breakfast. As terrible as she had been a few years ago, she had turned a complete 180 in her culinary skills. Her parents and brother grew to love her offering to help in the kitchen, rather than run for the hills.
Just as they were sitting down to breakfast the doorbell rang and Shingo ran off to answer it. Usagi knew the voice in the hall and her face began to burn bright red under her golden locks. Sure enough, Shingo led Seiya into the dining room to join them for breakfast.
"Ohayo, Tsukino-san. Thank you for inviting me to breakfast."
"It's my pleasure Seiya. Especially seeing how much you've helped Usagi these last couple of days."
They enjoyed breakfast with light conversation, but it seemed to flow around Usagi as though she weren't there. Sitting right next to her was the man she had longed and pined for. But she had just gotten off the phone with her love. She felt giddy and guilty at the same time. Did he know how much he haunted her thoughts? Did he burn for her as much as she did for him? He had to. She wished she knew what he was going to say to her last night. She'd have to beat Minako for screwing up her one opportunity.
After breakfast, Seiya waited for Usagi in the foyer to walk to school. She gathered her bags and said a hasty goodbye to Luna, leaving her a small plate of eggs. The walk to class was quiet and heavy with things unsaid in the air. Every once in a while Seiya would start to say something and close his mouth on it. Better not to push it, her heart is with him.
"So, are you going to Rei's after school?"
"Yes, I have to talk to the girls about something Mamoru said this morning. Have you felt anything weird lately? In the air, or a stirring in your soul?"
"No, why?"
"Nothing I guess."
"Usagi, if you feel something it could be serious, you are the heart and soul of this solar system. You would be the first to know."
"But what if it's not me? What if I'm fine, but someone else isn't?"
"Someone like him?"
"Hai," she responded quietly.
They walked the rest of the way in silence. All through classes they didn't speak. The group had lunch on the lawn and Seiya could see that through the laughter, the spark of life in Usagi's eyes was dimmed. Something within his beloved princess was changing and he wanted to know what it was.
"He said he knew something dark was coming. But I don't sense anything at all. Do any of you?"
"No, I haven't sensed anything through the fire."
"No strange attacks on the citizens."
"No one acting particularly strange either. Have you tried the outers yet? Has Michiru sensed anything?"
"No Minako, she hasn't either. But something has to be up if Mamoru is having visions again."
"Did you stop to think that maybe he's worried about what's going on here while he's gone?" Rei asked.
"What do you mean?'
"Well think about it," Ami chimed in. "Last time he left you behind, you were in the gravest danger ever and he was powerless to help you. He was dead. What if he is afraid that you are under attack while he is too far away to help? His worry is eating him up and he is just having dreams, not visions as he claims them to be. Sometimes it may be hard to tell the difference."
"But he was wide awake, painting, not asleep Ami-chan," Makoto spoke up.
"But his eyes were closed and his subconscious was in control. I'm willing to bet it was nothing."
"I hope you're right guys. I really don't feel like fighting anymore."
They parted shortly afterward as Minako and Ami had dates with Yaten and Taiki. Makoto walked with Usagi to the bus station.
"Usagi, are you feeling ok?"
"Yeah, I guess so. Why?"
"You had leftovers from lunch."
"Heh," she laughed, "yeah. Well I'm confused. You might be able to help me. I'm in love with Mamoru right?"
"Right"
"And we have to be together because we have a child and are rulers of the future, and were lovers in the past and all that jazz, right?"
"Right."
"So what happens if I fall in love with someone else?"
Makoto thought for a few moments before answering. "Usagi, the best advice I can give you is to follow your heart. You are living right here, right now, and you need to do what is right for you. The future will take care of itself. If you start to think of everything that you have to do to make a perfect future, you'll give yourself ulcers. Besides Usa-chan, the future has yet to be written. It always flows and changes. You of all people should know that. How many times has the future been 'threatened' by things coming back in time to change history? We are finally in a time of peace. You are my princess and in the future you will be my queen. That is all I need to know to follow you into the future. As long as you are fair and just, I will defend your actions until the day I die."
"Thank you Makoto," she sighed, "that's what I needed to hear."
The bus pulled up and Usagi decided to take a chance. She boarded and rode it until it crossed Seiya's street. She walked up to his apartment door and right before she could knock, she heard a woman's throaty laughter inside. She turned sharply around and walked straight home. She ran upstairs ignoring her mother's call from the front room. She didn't stop until she got into her room and flung herself down onto her bed, her tears rapidly soaking her sheets.
Seiya walked down the street lost in thought. He would much rather be at home moping in his room, or lost in a song, but he had to settle for the mp3 player in his pocket. Yaten and Mina were home and he couldn't stand to be around the two of them right now. What was I thinking last night? I should be glad I didn't tell her. That would have ruined everything. She's in love with Mamoru. They have a child and a future. Even if we did get together, it wouldn't last long. She would end up back with him. But gawd, just to be with her for a few brief moments to know that she loved me and I loved her for even a moment in time. So what if it was only a few years, that would be long enough to satisfy this longing in my soul. Seiya finally looked up from his musings to see that he was in front of her house. He looked up into her lit, open bedroom window and sighed. He could hear her sobbing. If she was with me I'd never let her shed a tear for my sake.
Seiya made up his mind to tell her how he felt. I may never get this chance again. He walked confidently up to the front door and knocked. Shingo answered but only cracked the door.
"Whadoyouwant?"
"I would like to see Usagi please."
"Well she doesn't want to see you!" and he slammed the door in Seiya's face. Seiya stood at the door a moment in shock. He thought he and Shingo were friends. And why didn't Odango want to see him. Maybe it was because she was crying and she didn't want to see anyone, but he wanted to comfort her. No one should suffer alone. He walked around to the side of the house and located a vine that grew close to her window and would support his weight. He started to climb it and had fallen twice on his rear end before it dawned on him that he could jump it, even w/o transforming he could make this height. He leapt up to the window and waited to be sure he hadn't disturbed her.
"Usagi, please calm down, tell me what happened," Luna pleaded.
"Oh Luna," she began haltingly, "I had finally decided that I was going to have to do right by myself and talk to Seiya about how I feel, but when I went over there I could hear someone in there. They were laughing. Not just laughing, it was …it was…oh Luna" she sputtered to a stop as the tears over came her again.
"But Odango, I'm right here," a voice said softly from the window. Usagi looked up from her pillow to see Seiya standing on her window seat. "It must have been Minako and Yaten you heard. I left them there hours ago. It…it hurt too much to be around them …right now…" he ended staring sheepishly at the floor.
Luna looked up into Usagi's face and then over to the top of Seiya's head. She could feel the hurt and the need in these two star crossed lovers. She bound to her Prince for the love of her kingdom and he bound in love to her side forever.
"Usagi," she said after a moment. "I'm going to leave you two alone for a few minutes. But before I do, I want you to remember something. A queen, especially a great queen, cannot rule with a broken heart. When she suffers, her kingdom suffers with her." With that she walked out of the room.
Usagi was the first to break the long silence that followed. "Seiya… come and sit down," she stated, patting a spot on the bed next to her. "You'll catch cold standing in the drafty window.
He didn't look at her, but did as she asked and sat on the bed.
"Seiya," she began, "why do you like me so much? You came all the way across the galaxy just to be here. Why?"
"Odan…Usagi, I love you. Not just you. I love the way you touch the lives of everyone you come across. The way the whole room lights up when you walk in. You are always kind, gentle and forgiving, even to your enemies. You would heal rather than hurt. You are so full of an innocence I would love to touch, to protect from all harm. Your smile is always warm. I've been drawn to you since the day we came to this planet. But to answer your question, Usagi, I came here because I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't care if you don't love me back, I have to be with you, near you or I will die. As I've died a little everyday since the day we left." He looked away from her then. Not wanting her to see the tears in his eyes and afraid of what he thought he saw in hers.
They sat in silence for what seemed an eternity. Usagi looked at Seiya, her eyes roving over his back, seeing the strength in the muscle, yet knowing how graceful he could be when needed. She slid closer and put her arms around his waist. She could feel him catch his breath when she did so, as well as the deep sigh as he realized her acceptance. She tightened her grip when he tried to turn, holding him in place.
"Seiya," she began, "I know I was not nice to you in the beginning. I was rude and mean and hateful to you. For that I am very and truly sorry. Even later when we became friends, I kept you at arms length because I was afraid of what I felt for you. I was so involved with making everyone else happy and doing right by my kingdom that I forgot about myself. I forgot that I need to be a happy ruler for my people, not an obligated one. I want you, Seiya. The rest of fate be damned, I want to be with you."
Her tears soaked through his shirt, but she still held him fast. He couldn't even hold her as she cried. He carefully reached down and loosened her grip on him. He turned so that she was now sobbing into his chest, and pulled her into his lap.
"I've been so sad, so torn since you left. I could be with you and be happy, but it would cost me my daughter, my kingdom, everything. But If I had those things I would always mourn what I lost. Even now, I feel as if I am killing my child, but I don't care. Who is to say you and I can't build a better kingdom than he and I could have?"
"Usagi, I don't want your kingdom. I just want you. To hear you say you want me too fills me with so much joy," he leaned down and kissed her tear soaked cheek. "I promise to make you happy, if you want a daughter, I will give you many children," he whispered into her golden locks.
Usagi tilted her head back and kissed the side of Seiya's face. "I love you," she whispered. She gently grabbed his hand and placed it over her heart. Seiya could feel the pulse just beneath the soft skin. She took her own hand and placed it upon his chest in the same place. The rhythm of each heart slowed to match the other as they looked into each others eyes. "I cannot know what this future holds for each of us, but I promise to make the best of it with you by my side," Usagi said once they were totally in sync.
She leaned in and kissed him deeply. He slid his hand gently to the right and caresses her breast under her shirt. She moaned slightly and pulled him down on top of her. He rolled to one side of her, but kept his lips locked with hers. With his left hand, he slowly stroked her arms, legs, hair, and face. Each pass making her blood rise a little more to the surface. She became more and more sensitive to his touch beginning to tremble in anticipation. She used her right hand to stroke him gently as well. She tangled her fingers in his hair, gently stroked his ears, and traced the lines and gentle curves of his body.
He slowly began to unbutton her blouse with his free hand. He stroked her bare breasts in small circles, enjoying the slight noises she made when he brushed across her nipples. He slowly ran his hand along her chest, down her flat stomach and stopped at the top of her pajama bottoms.
"Usagi, are you sure you want to do this? This would change everything." In answer, she kissed him deeply and pushed his hand under the elastic. He moaned at the dampness he found there as he began to fondle her. She ground herself onto his hand begging for penetration. With her right hand she gently stroked him under his boxers, anticipating the feel of him inside of her.
They slipped of what was left of their clothes and slid underneath her covers. Seiya held him self above Usagi and looked deep into her eyes, "I love you, Usagi." He slid himself slowly into her and lost himself in the moist heat. She rose to meet each thrust as they slipped into a rhythm that seemed as natural to them as breathing. They kissed, and nibbled, and teased over part of each other's bodies they could reach as they felt the pleasure build between them. They began to move faster and Usagi became lost in the rhythm, feeling her blood boil and begin to beg for release. Seiya felt the same and could feel that she was getting close so he increased his speed and his pressure on her ever so slightly. Usagi let out a small scream that was quickly smothered by Seiya's kiss as she reached orgasm. Feeling her clench down on him, Seiya came as well and fell bodily on her. They fell asleep in each other's arms, and dreamed of the future they would bring about together.
Half a world away, Mamoru fainted in his arts class.
Ok, I'm sorry this chapter took so long to write. I've had a lot of things go wrong and get busy in the last few months. I promise to try and keep up and I will definitely finish the story. Thanks to all of you who have been reading and please don't give up on me. Ja ne.