You make me weak in the knees

Mamoru awoke in the infirmary of the school. The last thing he remembered was looking at the painting in his art class. He was studying it as it seemed to shift in front of him. The dark shape looming over the city seemed to shift ever so slightly and take on a more human shape. He then began to feel light headed as the shape shifted its perspective to him. The next thing he knew, he was here.

"Ah, finally awake I see," Jessica said from somewhere to his right.

"Oh, thank goodness," Emiko said from somewhere to his left.

"What happened? I found you on the floor of my classroom this morning. You must have hit your head pretty hard, you were bleeding and you kept muttering something about youma, princesses and dumplings."

"I'm fine I think," he said trying to sit up. "I'm just a little homesick."

"Homesickness does not make you pass you Mamo-chan. What's really going on?"

"It's kinda hard to explain. The relationship between Usagi and myself is different than most. We have a past that goes way back. Our past makes us connected, more so than most couples. I felt, something. It felt like it broke our connection I mean. My link to her was broken. The last time something like that happened, I was dead…I mean, I felt dead," Mamoru quickly sputtered to a stop as he realized what he had said.

Does this mean that Usagi is dead? Mamoru's face suddenly turned ghostly pale.

"Mamoru, Mamoru are you alright? Say something!"

"I'm fine. I just need to make a phone call."

"A phone call…to where?"

"I gotta call Usagi, something's wrong," he couldn't explain to them that he had lost the connection to her soul and now felt hollow inside. He couldn't tell them that this hollow feeling could only mean the death of his beloved once again.

"But, Mamo-chan," Emiko said trying to push him back down onto the bed, "It's only 3 am there. Everyone will still be sleeping."

"I know, but she has her own phone in her room. She'll answer." He bolted from the room down to his dorm. Please be ok, please be ok Usako. I couldn't bear it if you were hurt because I was not there to protect you. Not again, not like last time. Please be ok. He picked up the phone and dialed her number, knowing he would wake her if she was sleeping, but needing the reassurance that she was alive and well. Not dead at the hands of a youma without him to protect her.

"Hello?" A groggy male voice answered. Mamoru went cold. "Hello," the voice asked again. He hung up and the dial tone rang in Mamoru's ear. He put the phone down and lay upon his bed. No, it could not have been. She was sleeping and I woke her so, her voice sounded a little deeper, that's all. That voice wasn't deep enough to be another man. A brief image of a shooting star flashed across his memory, and he began to weep. Please Kami-sama, tell me that's not what I think it was.

Emiko walked into the dorm and heard the soft weeping from Mamoru's room. She started to head that direction.

"I wouldn't do that," a voice said from the couch.

"Yeah, he's been doing that for about an hour now," Gaia said as she poked her head over the back of the couch.

"Oh," Emiko responded. She glanced back over at his door before settling on the couch.

"So, do you know what's wrong with him?" Greg asked.

"No, he passed out while looking at one of his paintings and when he came to in the infirmary; he started rambling about being dead and being oddly connected to his girlfriend."

"Maybe, something really did happen back home," Gaia chimed in. "My bro and I are like that, every time I got hurt or sad, he knew what was wrong before I even told him. It could be some kinda connection like that. Either way, leave him be, he'll tell us about it when he's ready."

"Alright, I guess. So what's for dinner?"

Mamoru's throat felt raw as he watched the sun come up in his bedroom window. He had stopped crying hours ago as he had run out of tears. His now understood what the vision had meant, and why he felt the emptiness the day before. She had let him go. He should have seen this coming. Yes, she as younger than he, but she was more mature than she had once been. She was at an age where it was wrong on his part to think he could run half a world away and still have her to fall back on. She must have seen that. He should have done the right thing to begin with and let her go before he left. If he had come back to find her waiting, he would have known it to be true. Relying on prophecy and history to hold them together made no sense. They were different people now than they were then and they will be different people then, than they are now. She just came to the realization faster than he did.

The phone rang in his room. He knew who it was, but did not want to answer. He didn't want to hear her explain what he had decided for himself again.

Hello, you have reached Chiba Mamoru. I'm sorry I missed you today. Please leave a message and I will call you back. BEEP "Hello Mamo-chan. It's Usagi. Um…Something's happened and I really think we should talk. Please call me. It's really important."

Mamoru was pretty much a ghost for the next few days. He went to class, but didn't really pay attention. He ate only enough to keep his stomach quiet during classes. He even shunned his roommates by going straight to his room after every class. His voicemail was full of messages from Usagi, but he refused to answer or call her back. He knew what she would say and figured it would be easier this way.

Finally, Monday rolled back around and he was back in his art class. He sat and glared at the picture he thought started all of this. Even knowing that it was a painting that he had created and Usagi had never seen it, he couldn't get past the feeling that this is where it all began to fall apart.

"Good Evening class," Jessica chimed as she walked into class. Her hair was spiked and purple tipped instead of blue as it had been before. "Today you're graduating from Fingers to Brushes, congratulations." A wicked gleam in her eye caught Mamoru's attention. "But we'll still be having our eyes closed. Pick a place on the wall. And before you ask, you must pick a different spot but no specified colors. No peeking and use as many of the colors as you so choose."

The class began to break up and move to a spot on the walls. Mamoru chose a place as far from the others as he could get in the back of the room. He selected his brushes and closed his eyes. He waited. Nothing, no sound, no idea, nothing came to him. He opened one eye and peeked at Jessica in the front of the room. She selected a CD and placed it in her player. A familiar voice came over the stereo. Gackt, an artist from back home began to blare. Just what I need, he thought, angst music as a theme song.

He closed his eyes again and began to paint. He still had no ideas, but his brushes moved on their own as they had before. He selected colors at random and changed brushes often. He painted angrily, thinking of how he felt at the moment, lost, afraid, and alone for the first time in many years. Not since first time since he had met his Usa-chan, his Ondango.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and jumped. The room was quiet and empty. You knew this day would come. The voice came from inside him instead of the beautiful creature before him. She has out grown you, and you must not linger. The figure faded away into his painting.

The tap on his shoulder made him jump. The music had stopped and the room was empty. Jessica stood behind him looking at the painting he had created. He had painted Sailormoon in her full fuku, with one exception. She had no face to speak of, there was a hint of eyes wear the tears seemed to run down her face, and the hint of a soft smile where her lips should be. Her wings were spread behind her and sheltered beneath them was Mamoru who was holding a globe. There were hints of other people holing other planets, but none were as clear as the image of him and his globe.

Without a word, he walked past Jessica, out the building and to his dorm. He picked up the phone and called Usagi.

"Mushi mush?" Usagi answered.

"I'm sorry," he choked out. "I'm so very very sorry."

"Mamo-chan? Sorry, what are you sorry for? Are you ok? Where have you been? Did something happen?"

"I've been keeping you from doing what is right by you. I've been keeping you from doing what is right by our, I mean your kingdom. Who am I to say that the kingdom you build without me will be better or worse that the one you would build with me. Do I…do I still make you happy? No…Don't answer that. I don't want to hear you lie and even worse I don't want to hear the truth. Do what is right by you, what is right by all of us."

"Oh Mamo-chan. I've been trying to get in touch with you to tell you, but you never answered and you never called back. Are you sure you are ok with this? I don't want to hurt you."

"It would hurt even more to know that I was the one hurting you. It was selfish of me to try and keep you for myself. You don't belong to me; you belong to all of us."

"Oh Mamoru, thank you."

They talked for a few more minutes and finally she let him get off to bed. He slept at peace that night. The ache in his heart dulled and eventually washed away. He knew that he was doing the right thing.

The next morning he was up before his roomies and made breakfast. They awoke to the smell and wandered out in various stages of undress.

"What smells so nice," Gaia asked as she poked her head into the kitchen.

"Japanese Pizza!" Emiko shouted as she bounded into the kitchen. "I love this stuff. She grabbed a plate and covered one with syrup.

"Pizza for breakfast?" Greg asked wiping the crust from his eyes.

"Not that kind of pizza," Mamoru answered. "It's called that because people can put anything they want on it like American pizza. Because this one is for breakfast I've added ham, sausage, peppers, tomatoes, onions, and potatoes."

"So, what's the occasion? You've been a zombie for a week and now you snap out of it to make breakfast. They aren't poisoned or anything are they?" Greg asked eyeing one suspiciously.

"No, they're not poisoned. I've just come to terms with something very important, and I wanted to celebrate. Besides this is one of my comfort foods and I thought you would enjoy it with me."

They sat for breakfast around the TV and watched a few episodes of Evangalion before heading off to the showers and to class. For the first time since coming to America, Mamoru felt at peace.

Sorry for the long time between 11 and 12. But I think I've hit a steady stride once again. Thank you all for believing in me and I'll see you all soon in Chapter 14.