Disclaimer: Don't own Lambchop, Charlie Horse, Shari Lewis, or the Song that Never Ends, and never will. We don't own Rocket Balloons, and never will. We don't own Titanic and never will. We don't own Tom and Jerry and never will, nor do we want to. We also don't own the line, "hoppy...floppy...bunnies!" and never will. That's a line from the very last episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which we don't own. (SHGrey18: Wow! We don't own a lot of stuff!)

A/N: Special thanks to FanFictionFantom for the commercial idea, and to bellachaos for the Lambchop idea. If you don't know what a vinyl is, feel free to ask. The only reason I know is because we've still got my parents' vinyls, although we had to give away the record player several years ago :(. Also, no insects or balloons were harmed in the making of this chapter.

Episode Nine: The Fall of the Death Munchers After a Relatively Short-Lived Existence.

Previously, on General Hogwarts:

Lily: James,

James: Dark Lord Tom?

Dark Lord Tom: Death Munchers!

Severus seized this window of opportunity to do something unexpected to save his skin. Dramatic music was playing (and James was spazzing about it) when the vinyl scratched and the music stopped abruptly. There was a pause, then clicks, pops, and then the music began.

"This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends! Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever, just because..."

"Oh, Dear Lord," Dark Lord Tom muttered, rubbing his eyes.

"This is the song that never ends!" The singing was getting louder. Then, Charlie Horse, Lambchop, and Shari Lewis popped out of the bottom of the screen.

"Not again."

"Erm, again?" Lily looked back and forth from the singing sock puppets (and Shari Lewis) to her diabolically evil love interest. Severus smiled greasily at the success his plan was having. He secretly payed the sound guy when no one was looking.

"Hiya, Tom," Lambchop said, strolling up to him while the others kept singing cheerfully.

"Dear? You...um...know these sock puppets?"

"Had a nasty run-in with the sheep on my way into the studio this morning."

"...Yes, it goes on and on, my friends!"

"I am a lamb, thank you, Thomas," Lambchop said testily.

"Don't call me that," Dark Lord Tom growled through gritted teeth. But Lambchop ignored him.

"Hence, the name Lambchop!" she continued. She then proceeded to join in with the singing. The old vinyl the sound guy had rigged had the loud, out-of-tune, off-key, off-pitch voices of about 20 or so five-year-olds singing along.

"MAKE...IT...STOP!" Dark Lord Tom dropped to his knees, covering his ears.

"Hey Tom, guess what?" Charlie Horse said, making his way over to the Dark Lord. "I-I-I-I-I-I lo-o-o-o-o-ove yo-o-o-o-o-ou!" With this, Charlie hugged his neck.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the puppet. "Crucio!" But Charlie only squeezed his neck harder and cheerfully sang even more loudly. "That's it! I can't take it anymore!" He broke free from the fuzzy death hug and–

Commercial Break!

"They float! They fly!" (Two blue balloons take off) "They're–" (both balloons pop)

(A random techie guys comes out and blows up a yellow balloon) "Take 2!"

"They flo– "(balloon pops on a blade of grass)

(The random techie guy blows up a green one) "Take 3!"

"They float! They fly!" (balloon pops on a passing ant, killing both the ant and the balloon) "Try the red one!"

"You're the boss, boss." (Bows up the red one) "Take 4!"

"They float! They fly!" (the balloon takes off) "They're Rock–" (balloon pops on a passing gnat, killing both balloon and gnat) (growing agitated) "They're Rocket Balloons. Just buy 'em so the fat cats can further enjoy the spoils of Corporate America and you've wasted your money on something your kids don't need and will forget about in two weeks!"

He broke free from the fuzzy death hug and pulled a mini biggie-sized time-turner out of his robes.

"Lily, please forgive me." The Lambchop song had been replaced with the usual vinyl and sad music was playing. (Lambchop and co. had disappeared during the commercial break)

"Tom?" Severus was barely able to hold in his maniacal laughter.

"I can't take this anymore. I'm so sorry." Very sad music played as Tom gave a last Jack-dying-while-staring-at-Rose look, and he disappeared.

"Lily, I'm so sorry for your loss." Severus wrapped Lily in his greasy arms. Love music played, but James was too busy gaping at his former episode-long ally that he forgot to spaz about it. "I suppose time heals all wounds."

"And you, Severus." James nearly projectile vomited on the now happy couple at the sticky, sickly-sweetness of this.

"I'm so emotional," Sirius said, blowing his nose.

Meanwhile...

"YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What's the matter, Tom?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

"Bunnies! Hoppy...floppy...bunnies!" Tom was standing on one of the tables, not unlike Tom's (the cat's) owner in the old Tom and Jerry cartoons.

"I thought it might help you with your research." Dumbledore smiled serenely.

Back in 1977...

"Well, that was a close one," James said as Lily and Severus kissed passionately.

"What was?" Sirius asked.

"The Dark Lord Tom."

"Dark Lord who?" Conspiracy music was played.

"See! Music!"

"Okay. Who gave James the brain tumor?" Sirius demanded.

Is James crazy?...or does he really have a brain tumor? Will he ever be Lily's love interest? Tune in to General Hogwarts to find out...