Sonic's Diaper Café
Chapter 1: His Greatest Feat Yet
"Hedgehog!" Dr. Robotnik sneered as Sonic nimbly danced around his remaining missile. The mild humming of the sterile, gray chamber was replaced with a sudden cacophony as the explosion rang out.
"When are you gonna give up, Eggman," Sonic jeered.
"Oh, I'm not done yet," retorted Robotnik, a smile crossing his velvet lips. The soft, ambient hum erupted into a shrill screech. A brilliant turquoise light glared throughout the steel room as Robotnik pointed his gigantic finger defiantly at Sonic.
"Ha! Whatcha cooking up this time, Eggman? Looks to me like you're already scrambled," taunted Sonic, with a self-congratulatory chuckle.
"This," whispered Robotnik as he gestured excitedly at Sonic, who had paused mid-charge to deliver what, in his mind, was a brilliant quip.
Sonic, a brief expression of alarm crossing his face, could only cry out for a moment as his shoes tumbled off his feet. The world seemed to be expanding all around him. His voice became just a whimper as he tumbled forward, sprawling in a blue heap before Robotnik, who had made no effort to run.
"Ha-ha!" Robotnik cried triumphantly. Before him now lay the blue hedgehog, slowing to a stop assfirst before the towering doctor.
"My de-aging ray worked perfectly," Robotnik declared, now pacing in circles frantically around the small hedgehog. Sonic could only respond with a curious expression. "Hmm, you know, Sonic, you're actually kind of cute like this," mused Robotnik. His victory had been complete; not only had his oldest enemy been vanquished, but thoroughly humiliated.
Could Sonic even feel humiliation anymore? Robotnik stared blankly, in thought. He stepped over to examine the hedgehog, who was now trying to right himself so he was no longer on his hands and knees. This attempt was woefully unsuccessful as Sonic lost his balance and collapsed upon the floor. "Oh, what's the matter, Sonic?! Can't go fast?" Robotnik chuckled, admiring the struggling Sonic, who could only roll over on his back awkwardly.
"I wonder if you can still recognize me." Robotnik grimaced as he spoke these last words.
"I know! A test!"
With a surrepetitious glance around, Robotnik faced Sonic more directly. Sonic watched in amazement as this strange figure disappeared before his eyes behind two white clouds, laughing and smiling when Robotnik reappeared. "Peekaboo!" Robotnik hurriedly uncovered his face. Sonic chortled so much he began to drool, clearly entranced by the trick.
"Oh, dear Sonic, my genius has surpassed even my expecta-hey, you can't drool on my floor," Robotnik cried, hurriedly flourishing a small handkerchief from inside his red suit. He delicately wiped Sonic's moist face hole.
"Even now, I see you continue to be a thorn in my side," Robotnik cursed. "What am I going to do with you? That's my only flaw, Sonic: I have such grand ideas that I sometimes overlook the tiny details," he chuckled, once more admiring his work.
Sonic suddenly felt an unfamiliar feeling well up inside him. It started in his belly and continued down to his pelvis. It was a light sort of pressure in his lower chest. This was scary; all he could do in response was begin to cry as a small yellow trickle emerged from between his legs.
"Hm? What's wrong-no, not that! Anything but that!" Robotnik, cutting himself off, scooped up the yellow blur and hurried to find something linen to prevent the inevitable. He swore internally that everything in his lab was metal, glass, or plastic. In his haste, he had neglected to observe the force of the stream that was beginning to burst from Sonic.
In almost the same motion of Robotnik lifting Sonic in the air, the cascading loops of crystalline, pale liquid caressed Robotnik's plumed mustache, goggles, and open mouth in a salty piss-scented embrace of shimmering gold. The flood waters enveloped his tongue, dancing in his throat like drunk partygoers. The scent of what could be described as fishy sea water and an Irish morning mist wafted from the thick streams gushing into Dr. Robotnik's waiting face.
For what seemed like an eternity, Robotnik stood there in shock. The urine finally stopped as Sonic continued to cry, both from being lifted into the air and the surprise of producing this bitter mystery liquid. Both were unknown territory. Finally, Robotnik spoke, his voice surprisingly gentle. "Shhh," he cooed, gently beginning to rock the hedgehog back and forth in mid-air.
Sonic, still overwhelmed, continued to sob. Robotnik sighed, scooping him into one arm. With his free arm, he put his piss-drenched face in his hand, removing it almost immediately. "Peekaboo!" Sonic, his attention now fixed on Eggman, stopped crying.