Written for:
Mount Potter Race - Soulmate!AU
Assignment 10 - Aquatic Studies - Task #2: Aquamarine (Aquamarine): Write about looking for true love
there's some invisible string tying you to me
When soulmate strings are made visible, Sirius is surprised at first to find Remus is his soulmate. He warms to the idea almost immediately, but it's a shame that Remus takes longer to accept their bond. Wolfstar.
The Great Hall is quieter that morning than usual. The professors are sombre, and the students realize quickly that something is going on.
It's early, the newspapers haven't arrived just yet, and there's a tension falling over everyone in the hall. Little in the way of chatting, no joking or cheerful behaviour either. Just silence that seems to stretch, broken only by the sound of someone else arriving, or a cough or sneeze. Whispers to pass plates sound louder than they are.
They've all been summoned. Remus looks miserable as he stumbles into the hall. He takes a seat next to Sirius, facing James. "What's going on?" he hisses, not wanting to talk loudly because of the atmosphere. "A house elf came to our dorms and woke me up. I could be asleep for another hour. It's Saturday!"
Next to him, Sirius shrugs his shoulders, his ebony eyes on the door as more and more people stumble in. The late risers. Sirius hasn't ever gotten into the habit of sleeping in. His upbringing causes him to be up with the sun. Once he's up, his mind wakes up all at once and it's mad in there, busy, crazy, and he can't quieten the noise to allow him to sleep once more.
"Remus, good morning." His loud voice echoes through the hall, and several people jump. Remus looks around, completely unimpressed. He reaches out for the hot chocolate, pouring himself a mug and cradling it in his hands.
Sirius sips the tea in his teacup and he watches Remus from the corner of his eye. It's rare to see Remus up early on a weekend, and he does love a grumpy Moony.
"Peter, pass the coffee," James murmurs and Sirius laughs softly. Ever since becoming head boy, James has been trying to play the part and act more mature than he is. He strides around, giving speeches to the younger students and drinking coffee and trying to look more like an adult. Sirius knows part of it is an attempt to impress Lily. It's hilarious, and Sirius teases him every chance he gets.
James glares at him, and Sirius grins happily back. He hates the smell of coffee but he'll have to get used to it, because they'll be sharing a flat when leaving Hogwarts next week.
Just as James opens his mouth to make a comment, Professor Dumbledore saves what would have clearly been a terrible comeback by standing up and clearing his throat.
"We were informed late last night of a new law arranged by the Ministry. It will affect the upper years, and soon you'll be receiving letters and newspapers with information on it. The law comes into effect shortly. I'm sorry that you haven't had very much notice, but the wizarding world hasn't either."
He pauses for a moment, looking around. "In the olden days it was known for a spell to be used. A string links each of us with our ideal person, a soulmate if you will, and the spell reveals that. The Ministry is putting that into effect. The strings will be revealed shortly as will the details of the law."
"Is this a marriage law?" James calls, standing up quickly.
Dumbledore nods his head. "Anyone over eighteen and out of Hogwarts will be given a few months to marry," he tells them. "That will apply to everyone in the wizarding world. I cannot say how long this will last, I wish I had more information for you all."
He returns to his seat, and Sirius looks at his plate. He feels cold. He's going to be tied to someone. He'll be expected to marry someone and have kids. He doesn't like the sound of this at all. It's scary, and it just sounds like another prison - something else making his choices for him. He just escaped one prison and doesn't need this!
He stabs violently at one of the sausages on his plate, frustrated, and there are whispers as Minerva stands up and takes Dumbledore's place. She fixes her glasses, looking more serious than Sirius has ever seen her.
"Any student under eighteen can leave the hall," Minerva tells them. "We will be here to offer advice to those that are matched within the school, and will have additional staff in Hogsmeade should you encounter the person at the other end of your string. Once you have your post, I suggest you leave. The hall will be open throughout the day should people need the space to meet and chat, and the house-elves will be popping in to assist any students. Please give an hour before returning, should there be any issues." She pauses at the flurry of activity as the owls start arriving.
"The law will go into effect any time now," she adds. Anyone fifth year and below, you're dismissed from the hall to give the other students some privacy. Sixth year, you can only leave if you're under eighteen. I will be compiling a list to meet with you all before your birthdays in preparation of your string appearing. Anyone eighteen or over will remain." She returns to her seat and Sirius finishes his breakfast as James spreads his newspaper out. Around him, people untie letters from the owls.
Sirius bites into the sausage as he watches James read, his friend frowning as his eyes move over the words.
"Well?" Sirius asks, finally swallowing the food. He notices Remus reading a letter next to him, and James is ignoring the letter from his parents. Around him, students are standing and leaving the hall, and Sirius resists the urge to follow them. He doesn't want to leave his fellow Marauders to deal with this without him. They're all in this together.
James looks up. "Sorry," he says. He glances at the letters again. "Mum sent you one." He pushes it across the table before sighing. "Just the same things the Professors said, but in more detail. Sixth years don't have to marry until they finish Hogwarts completely. If we match with other seventh years or older than us, we have six months."
"What if we don't like our soulmate?" Peter asks. "Anything in there about that?" He leans in to have a read.
"I think that there is an option to appeal should there be a major issue," James murmurs. "But I think that's in the case of - my soulmate is on their death-bed, my soulmate is in prison, that sort of thing. Not because your soulmate is too short, or has a ridiculous name, or… whatever." He points at a passage. "Creature statuses are on the list too." He gives Remus an apologetic look, but Remus just shrugs slightly in return.
Sirius' gaze shifts around the hall. He's terrified of this, because this string could lead to a female and… well, he's quite sure he doesn't want to marry one of those. He's heard about marriage laws and spells to reveal someone's best match. His best match would be male. He doesn't trust this spell. He doesn't want a wife.
"I don't like that they're taking my choice away," Sirius admits, reaching for the letter and opening it. He barely reads it, his eyes briefly skimming the words of reassurance from Dorea.
"Me either," Remus says quietly. He doesn't elaborate, he merely sips his hot chocolate. When Sirius glances around at him, he looks just as resigned to his fate as Sirius does and Sirius offers a small smile.
"So… it's Saturday. We can seek out our soulmates during Hogsmeade," James says. "What order do we do this in? Who gets the first soulmate?"
No one answers, and despite James' attempt at being cheerful, it's clear that he's stressed too.
"Draw straws," James finally mutters. He shifts down the table, reaching for the glass jar full of straws and pulls out four.
He tears part of each of them until they're different lengths and then shuffles them up, fixing them so that they're the same length.
He holds his hand out to Peter first, before moving it around the table. When they've picked straws, Sirius is glad he's not first. Peter is, James coming second, Sirius third and Remus last.
"That's not going to work," Lily says, watching them. "Some of you might be matched within this room. You're best off waiting to see what happens." There's a shake to her voice that tells Sirius that she's not as cool and collected as she's trying to pass off. "If…" Lily trails off, her gaze on her hand, and quickly turns back to her friends, conversation forgotten.
Sirius feels a slight tingle run through him, and his gaze shoots to his own hand too. He quickly puts his hand down into his lap, Remus doing the same, and they share a look of panic, before meeting James' gaze. James' smile is stretched across his face, hiding his own panic. Peter is the only one not hiding it as he mutters about soulmates and taps his hand against the table as he waits.
All at once, colourful strings appear, almost translucent, stretching in all directions. Most are red, but there are a few with different colours, and Sirius sees more than one string coming at him and he feels a wave of panic.
Marlene looks at him hopefully, but Remus nudges him and gestures behind him. Sirius moves, glancing back and the strings stretch past him and through the wall. Relief fills him as he gives Marlene what he hopes looks apologetic. He tries to hide his relief.
He can't bring himself to look at his hand. He's not the only one as the other three marauders keep their hands down and out of sight.
"We'll wait for it to clear out a bit more," James mutters, taking charge as always. Sirius thinks they shouldn't ever deal with it, but is aware that his idea is a terrible one. There's a timeframe and he'll need to know. Six months. Whoever decided any of this is a fool.
Regulus is still at his table, Sirius suddenly realises. He looks pale, his eyes are darting around all of the students, and his hand is out of sight. It seems to be a pattern in the hall. Other than that, he's trying to look as composed as usual.
That is enough to distract Sirius from his own panic - his brother will be getting married. He hates this idea more than the idea of getting married himself and hopes that Regulus ended up with someone good enough for him. Otherwise, they'll have Sirius to answer to.
The remaining students start to leave. The ones with strings leading from the room go first, and then the few students who have matches within the school. Soon, there are only a handful of people left.
James glances at Lily as she whispers to her friends, before looking towards his hand. The string clearly isn't pointing her way and he sighs. "Welp, that was my last hope with her," he mutters. "You all ready to see if we're stuck with someone in this hall?"
Sirius glances around and hopes to God that it's not Lily. She's much too straight-laced and by the rules and she finds any reason she can to have a go at him about his behaviour.
But maybe he's lucky and doesn't have a soulmate yet.
His soulmate could be underage, which means no string. Which means he has years before having to worry about this. Or maybe his soulmate isn't even in the United Kingdom, therefore not bound by the laws.
They all lift their hands onto the table in unison.
Sirius' string doesn't travel far. He turns to glance at Remus, completely shocked, and Remus' eyes widen and he hides his hand. "Not here," he hisses, glancing around in a panic.
Sirius takes the hint. He puts his away too. Remus isn't gay, is he? He's not out at least, and Sirius isn't going to demand they talk about it this second. They can talk in the privacy of the dorm-room. He's not out himself either and this is going to be a very big issue. He also needs to find out about why their string is gold and not red. What's the difference?
Peter's string leads to Mary, who is sitting further down the table. She gives him a shy and uncertain wave and he smiles back.
"Looks like you have someone to go to Hogmeade with after all," James mutters. "You go on ahead."
"Don't mention…" Remus says quietly.
"Yeah. Marauder business," Peter agrees, looking between him and Sirius before standing up. "James, yours?"
"You go, we'll deal with it later," James says. He turns around before looking back, fear in his eyes as he meets Sirius' gaze. Something in his eyes tells Sirius he's already found his soulmate and Sirius can't figure out why James is so fearful. Unless it's Snape or something. He'd hide it too if he ended up with a Slytherin.
Peter and Mary leave. Lily heads off with her friends, and finally it's just the three remaining Marauders and Regulus. It's only then does Regulus stand and approach the Gryffindors.
He hovers near the table, uncertain if he can approach and James is looking very pale now, and Sirius takes in his brother. They've barely said a word to each other since Sirius ran away from home. As angry as he is at Regulus, he doesn't want to make things worse between them.
"Reg, sit down," he decides.
Regulus nods, his gaze on James as he does. He doesn't say a word, he just sits there quietly, as though he can't think of what to say.
Sirius turns his attention to James, because suddenly he's realising why Regulus is here and why James looks like it's his funeral.
"Sirius, your brother is my soulmate. Please don't kill me," James blurts out suddenly, all in a rush. "I'm sorry."
Regulus folds his arms. "Well, I had hoped you'd acknowledge it with me first," he mutters, rolling his eyes.
James gives him an apologetic look, but Sirius is looking at the string that goes between their hands and he's fuming. James planned this somehow. He must have. He raises his gaze to his best friend. "If you even think about doing anything inappropriate with my brother," he starts. He doesn't need to finish the threat, because James understands. He gets it.
"Of course not," he murmurs. "I'd never!"
Remus snorts in amusement, but wisely doesn't make a comment.
"So, Regulus…" James starts, but is flailing for words. Remus chooses that moment to lean towards Sirius, whispering softly in his ear.
"See this as a chance to get your brother away from them. Your parents can't prevent this, and better James than someone like one of the Lestrange brothers, or Severus. We can protect him better now, just like you wanted to do."
Sirius quickly realises that Remus is right. It feels nice, Remus being close to him, and whispering to him like this.
"I will allow you to… hold hands and kiss. No tongues," Sirius decides. "That's where I draw the line. Go to Hogsmeade before I change my mind. And if you think about breaking my rules, remember, I will be watching." He narrows his eyes. "Go."
James nods for Regulus to follow him, and Regulus looks between James and Sirius quickly before walking after James. James is almost running in hopes of getting away from Sirius, but Regulus takes his time, and Sirius watches after them.
They leave, and it's only the two of them in the hall with a handful of the Professors. "Come on," Remus says, with a sigh. He stands up and approaches the table and Sirius follows.
"Do either of you have any concerns?" Minerva asks.
Remus silently raises his hand. "My dad can't know about this. Not yet," Remus explains quietly. "Can these be hidden in any way? Just… just for a few days? The Ministry can't take the right to reveal our secrets, can they?"
Sirius feels a little hurt. Yes, it's bad that the Ministry is doing this. But… It's not the worst match. In fact, if he had to be matched with someone, Remus is the best shout. He tries to tell himself that Remus is only worried about his dad. Sirius doesn't care if people know. It's like fate has decided for him that his secret will come out today.
Sirius won't have to try and explain his life to someone new. He won't have someone there telling him if he can see his friends. He won't have to explain his scars because when Remus sees them, Remus will know what they are and why. Plus, Remus has beautiful eyes and gives great hugs and Sirius always feels happy at the sight of him. He also is adorably grumpy in the mornings, and he loves that Remus is a little bit taller than him.
Okay. Maybe Remus has featured in some of his naughtier dreams. And been his focus under the shower several times. Maybe he's attracted to his friend. It never meant anything, right?
He pushes that thought away, because it's allowed to mean something now. They're soulmates, and maybe Remus can realise that they're perfect together too?
"Not break it," Sirius whispers. "Right?" He looks imploringly at Remus, because breaking their bond would be the worst thing ever.
Remus looks at him, confused, and the silence seems to stretch on forever.
"Just… just hide for now until… until we finish at Hogwarts next week," Remus finally murmurs.
Minerva shakes her head. "I'm against this whole law," she tells them. "Students and those just stepping out into the world after school should not have to worry about marriage, or rush into it. There is never any rush to wed. But the Minister chose not to listen to either myself or Professor Dumbledore, so all we can do is support. I'm very sorry, Mr. Lupin, there's nothing anyone can do. I can contact the Ministry and explain the distress this is causing and see if there's a way to hide them for a week or so, but I have little hope of a solution."
Remus nods faintly and he thanks her before turning to Sirius.
"Wanna go upstairs for a bit?" he asks Sirius, and Sirius nods his head..
"I thought it'd match me to a girl," Remus admits.
"Well, sorry to disappoint you," Sirius mutters. The walk was awkward, and things are never awkward around Remus and he hates this. What did he expect? For Remus to actually want him?
"I'm not… Sirius, I'm not disappointed. It's just that life would be easier."
"You're bisexual then?" Sirius asks.
Remus nods. "Can't let that get back to my dad. Or I can, as long as I marry someone who is female. But I can't now, because…" he gestures with his empty hand to the string on the other.
"So, you're only disappointed because your dad is going to be angry?" Sirius checks.
"You're my best friend," Remus replies evasively. That doesn't really answer the question, and Sirius doesn't push because he's scared that maybe Remus hates the idea of being married to him.
"Right. Well, maybe the Ministry will cancel this law before the six months," Sirius says, flopping down on his bed and folding his arms above his head. "Then you won't be stuck with me." He laughs as though this is all a joke.
"Maybe they will cancel it," Remus says, though he has that tone. Usually Sirius would be quick to comfort Remus when he's upset, but fuck it. Sirius is the one hurting right now. He has things to lose from this too, but at least he's taking a step forward - or attempting to - for them.
"We should plan for if they can't." Remus sounds really nervous now. It's the voice he uses when he thinks he's upset Sirius, and damn right he should be using it.
"Then we'll have to tell the world that we're both into blokes," Sirius mutters. "You might not like the match, but I was pretty happy. For a minute or two at least."
"What? Why?" Remus blurts out.
"You're my friend. I don't need to get to know other people," Sirius says. "You're a bloke, you're good looking and I like spending time with you. I reckon it'll be quite easy if we have to go down an intimate route, because… and you know me. You're one of the few people I trust to know… about my life. Maybe you could try and think of anything positive about this situation. I have."
"Well, I suppose you already know about my condition," Remus murmurs. "That was my initial fear before the strings came."
Sirius hopes there's more, but Remus doesn't offer anything else.
"I suppose we'll need to get a place together. You got something lined up?"
"I was going to go home, but I should… you said before, you and James, that I can stay with you."
Sirius nods absently. "Three bedroom flat," he mutters. "Though Regulus might stay. We'll fit four in somehow, make it work. You can just tell your parents you decided to stay with us." He tries to even his tone, but he's upset. It's like the world decided to give him a great soulmate, just to take it away again.
"Sirius?" Remus murmurs.
Sirius doesn't respond. He just stays silent, staring up at the ceiling until Remus leaves. Only then does he stand up. He's going to Hogsmeade. Gotta keep an eye on James and Regulus and make sure James doesn't put his grubby hands all over Sirius' little brother.
But first, he asks to use Professor Mcgonagall's fireplace to contact his parents - Dorea and Charlus. He could do with their advice and Dorea's letter said that she's free today if he or James need support. Sirius needs that. Following that, he sends an owl to find James and let him know that their parents are coming.
Their corner of the pub is quiet and Sirius twists one of the woven bands on his arm as they wait on James. James doesn't leave them waiting long.
He sits down, his gaze darting between them.
"I'm gay," Sirius says quietly. "It matched me with a bloke. Not just any… Remus. It points at Remus and he… he doesn't want this and I don't…" he sighs, glancing at James.
"Uh… Regulus is my soulmate," James admits. "I hope you're both okay with that."
"It's a surprise," Charlus says, recovering first. "But we love you both and you're free to love whoever you want."
"Remus is probably scared, dear," Dorea adds, reaching out and taking Sirius' hand in hers. "You know what he can be like. Just give him time."
Sirius nods, though he's not convinced by the words at all.
"Don't doubt yourself," James adds, glancing at his parents briefly. "You and Moony. Perfect match. You're already so close. I mean, you're pretty much dating already, just without the kissing and romantic stuff. I mean, you already cuddle him all the time."
"But he even said… he's hoping that they change the law so we don't have to…" he trails off. "I mean, I never thought or expected… but then the string showed Remus and I realised that maybe this is good. I was happy for a minute, but Remus… he's going to come stay with us, but… what if he never wants this? What if I end up alone?"
"You won't," James assures him. "Remus is just… you know how he is. He's panicking and assuming the worst. We'll knock some sense into him, okay. Just give him time to get used to the idea."
"No sharing rooms until the weddings," Dorea tells them, looking between the pair. "James, you've got over a year before your wedding." She pauses, considering the situation.
"There's three rooms," Charlus says. "By the time Regulus leaves school, Remus and Sirius should be on track, and then Regulus can take the empty room."
"Or the law will be cancelled and Remus will abandon me," Sirius mutters.
The food arrives and the Potters change the subject, but Sirius can't follow the topic of their new flat. He can only think about Remus' reaction.
When they return to the dorm later, Remus doesn't approach the subject, and for the rest of that week, they avoid each other so no-one sees their strings.
The journey back from Hogwarts is quiet, awkward. Regulus and James have decided to keep their string a secret for now, but Remus and Sirius barely say a word to each other, and Remus lags behind at the platform, in fear that his father will see the strings.
Sirius barely says a word to him, because Remus doesn't seem to care all that much and Sirius isn't going to allow himself to get hurt over this.
"Sirius, can we talk?" Remus asks. He's only just moved in, he's unpacked his stuff, and Sirius has hidden in his room.
Sirius opens the door, his eyes on his friend. Remus looks tired, and Sirius knows the full moon is approaching. Maybe it's why he's opened the door.
"If my dad wasn't… who he is, if I wasn't scared of his reaction, and the only thing on my mind was the person I matched with, I'd be happy it's you," Remus says.
"Not a woman?" Sirius mutters, arms folded.
"A woman would have been easier in my life," Remus admits. "I'm not going to lie. I had hoped… because that way my family would be happy. Life would be easier. But it chose you. You're right, the things you said. How easy it could be. But it's scary and I don't think you're really considering that. How can we cross the line from friends to… well, to more? That's a big ask and it's not as simple as I think you believe it could be. We have to take so much into account. How do we tell people? Telling people means telling them that we're… attracted to other men. I was never disappointed in you. Only in the fact that the Ministry is forcing us to reveal our secrets. I mean, we have a gold string. What does gold even mean? They haven't told us anything."
"This is week three," Sirius says. "Just over five months left. Remus, if you don't want this, just say because I've spent these last few weeks feeling like you don't want me. If you're not interested, at least I know."
"I...I'm still trying to figure out how to do this," Remus admits.
Sirius shrugs his shoulders. "If you're not saying yes, it's a no," he says. "Because we're always making sure you know that you're important. Making sure you know what you deserve, and making you feel special. But you've gotta realise that I'm pretty damn special myself, and I matter, and… I deserve better than having to deal with this these past few weeks. You can't even tell me if you want something in a month, in three months. Five. I'd happily wait if you just said you need time. But you can't be straight with me. I made my choice within minutes of that string showing because I wasn't about to mess you around. I'm not wasting my time on an answer that's not even a 'maybe'."
"But my dad—"
"I don't give two shits about your dad," Sirius tells him. "I'm sorry Remus, but I don't know what you want from me. I'm going to go and lie down for a bit. Is there anything else you need?"
Remus shakes his head, looking deflated. "You're not out either," he points out quietly. "But your parents…"
"My real parents don't need to know anything," Sirius says. "But Dorea and Charlus… well, I told them the same day the strings came up. They know because I took that risk. I'm not forcing you to do the same. I'm not saying you need to tell him at all right now. I'm just saying that I've spent my life feeling like I don't deserve happiness with you guys disagreeing. Right now, I'm choosing me."
He closes the door because it's clear that Remus has nothing to say.
Sirius retreats to his room after the full moon, and Remus looks like he's going to follow him. James had been a bit worried that Sirius wasn't going to show, as the dog is what calms the wolf the most, but as always, when it comes to Remus, Sirius is always there.
James is pissed. He gets it - the fear of what a parent will say. He was scared to tell his own parents about Regulus, and Regulus is certainly not telling his parents about James - not until they've gotten to know each other better and until it gets closer to the time they'll get married.
But… he can feel the bond. The spellwork doesn't make people feel things. It just points you in the right direction, and getting to know Regulus as his soulmate rather than Regulus as the brother of his best friend, he's seeing him so differently.
Regulus is more composed than Sirius, but he's no less intense. He's got a dry wit that James is delighted to have discovered. He's an amazing kisser, but James isn't going to ever admit that out loud because Sirius will somehow find out that James thinks this and murder him.
"He's not talking to me," Remus mutters, turning and shuffling back to the sofa.
"I wouldn't either," James admits. A little more bluntly than he had planned, but oh well.
Remus stares at him. "Say what you've got to say," Remus says.
"It's not an attack," James starts. "If it were you wanting this and Sirius being evasive and stuff, I'd be having a right go at him. Honestly, I thought he'd be the one with the issue here. Sirius settling down, marriage, a family. But the more I think about it, the more I realise that I had it all wrong."
"Do you really think he wants this?" Remus asks.
James nods. He's a little more pissed off because Sirius has told him the conversations, and he's made it clear that he's up for this. That he's willing to give this a shot and try and make it work. Sirius has been ready for this since his gaze followed the string to Remus.
James suspects that Sirius may have had a bit of a crush on Remus before this too. If only Remus can see that they're perfect for each other.
"Sirius is all talk," James says. "He flirts and doesn't settle because he can't get close to anyone. But he's already close to you. Whilst he feels trapped at the idea of a soulmate, the fact that it's you makes it something he can allow himself to want."
He waits for Remus to sit down on the sofa, before taking a seat in the armchair.
"This isn't about you saying no, or you saying yes. The issue I have with this is that you're not being clear with Sirius, and he's just sitting around and putting his life on hold when it's not even a 'maybe'. He's stuck without a clue of what you're thinking, what you're feeling, and if you regret that it's him on the string. From what he's told me, I have to agree - you've not been clear at all."
"But my dad—" Remus starts.
"This law is happening. At some point your dad is going to find out that Sirius is your soulmate," James points out. "It can happen sooner, or it can happen in five months when you've destroyed your friendship."
"I don't know," Remus says. "I really don't."
"I love you, Remus, but I think you do know what you want, but you're afraid to make your choice. Either way, you and Sirius will get married. It's down to you to decide whether that'll be a real relationship or not. Forget about your dad's reaction for a moment. Sirius is hot, I know you've looked - I've seen you do it. He's accepting of your lycanthropy, it's never been an issue between you and Sirius would do anything for you."
"I know," Remus murmurs.
"And you're so focused on what you can lose from this, and not what you can gain. But Sirius… Sirius has already lost so much, and he told my parents the same day, and he was scared as hell that they'd react badly, but he still told them. He took the same risk you're going to have to take at some point. He may have less to lose than you, but he's still putting you first."
Remus looks guilty now, and James can see he's getting through to him.
"He's not expecting a declaration of love, Remus. He just wants a clear answer. Yes you want this - even if it's going to move slowly, or no. Then he can move on with his life. Right now, it's a weird limbo and that's not fair. The law is happening, there's no stopping that. You're soulmates. The universe decided that you two are made for each other, which any idiot could see without a string to connect you. Have you ever considered that maybe behind the constant flirting with everyone, Sirius wants that stability?"
"I know all of this," Remus replies quietly. "Sirius means a hell of a lot to me and I don't want to lose him. But what if I say no and he doesn't want to be my friend anymore? What if I say yes and he gets bored of me?"
James snorts. "I'd say that you need to take the chance and start considering Sirius in this matter too because you're being a bit selfish. Whatever choice you make, it's not just about you, Remus, it's about you and Sirius together. Because what if he turns around and says no, and you find you can't be his friend? Or if you are the one to get bored?"
"I get all your points," Remus replies. "You're right. But… but if it were Sirius needing to wait to tell his parents, I'd understand."
James nods. "But you and Sirius handle things differently. You think Sirius is the one that's strong enough to handle this, but you're stronger than you think you are." He stands up. I'm just saying that the worst thing you can do is nothing." He's done and Remus has a lot to think about, so James makes a choice to end it there and leave it for Remus to consider.
"I'm going out for lunch," James adds. "I'll pick you up a Subway. I just need some air and I think you need to think about things."
Remus nods his head. It's only eleven, so he lays down and James waits until his eyes start drooping before he heads out.
As he reaches the front door, Sirius approaches him.
"I dunno if it'll get through to him… but I appreciate it," he murmurs. James smiles.
"He must feel that bond," he replies, quietly.
"And you and my brother?"
"Just getting to know each other for now. He's not ready to tell your parents and I'm fine to wait because we have over a year before the law wants us to marry. But… yeah, the string only points us to our soulmate, we've got to do the rest of the work ourselves. Remus is too caught up in his head to realise that he's only thinking of himself and not of you."
Sirius tries to smile. "Subway?"
"Yeah. May start a tradition," James tells him. "Give Remus time to think about what I've said. But… don't put your life on hold if he's not giving you a straight answer."
Sirius nods his head. He glances back towards the living room before sighing. "I'll come with you," he says. "I could do with a walk."
Usually Sirius doesn't leave Remus alone after the full moon. Risking detention and letters home about skipping the lessons, Sirius has always been at Remus' side.
Sirius is hurting more than he's showing, James knows that. He just wishes he could do more to help.
Sirius comes back from his date with the handsome muggle who lives upstairs. He's in two minds over what to do. On one hand, the date was nice. It's his first date with another man and he was nervous as hell and rushed inside before a kiss.
On the other hand, Remus. Remus hasn't given him an answer yet and there's a slim chance that he'll say yes. Though Sirius is losing hope as the days pass. They've barely said a word to each other in days, and it's been even more awkward since James told Remus off.
But as James said, Sirius can't put his life on hold if he doesn't have any sort of answer. Plus, Remus seems to be leaning more towards a no than anything. Sirius is sort of out now, a little bit, and he's going to live his life. He'll have to marry Remus in a few months, but it's clear that Remus wants the marriage to be in name only, and not anything more than the friendship they already have.
He closes the door behind him and walks into the flat, dropping down on the sofa in between James and Regulus, who move out of the way just in time. James glares at him. "We were just holding hands," James complains.
Sirius lets out a loud sigh.
"How was the date?" Regulus asks. In the armchair across the room, Remus tenses. Sirius tries to not pay attention to Remus, but it's hard.
"Nice. I panicked before the kiss and ran away, but I had a good time. I don't get why I panicked." He glances at his hand.
Remus sinks down on his chair and hides his face behind his book.
"So, you're seeing him again?" James asks.
Sirius nods. "Yeah. Why not?" he asks.
"It's not like you're in a relationship," Regulus offers quietly. Sirius can hear the pointed tone. Usually he'd defend Remus somehow, but it's true.
But still…
"Let's not talk about it anymore," Sirius says, because he doesn't want things to be any more awkward. "I think… I should wait before another date. Wait and… and see what happens." He stretches out his shoulders. "I think I'm going to turn in early tonight. Reg, where are you sleeping?"
"Don't worry, I'm not sharing a bed with James," Regulus sighs. "I'll be out here on the sofa."
Sirius looks between them. "See that you do," he mutters.
"Actually. I wanted to talk to you," Regulus says. "Mother is worried about who is at the end of my string. I think she's planning on bringing me to France to marry someone else. Someone who doesn't have the string and… well, can I stay here?"
Sirius is surprised at the request. Not at the reason though because his mother is horrible, and of course she wants to make sure Regulus has a 'good match' in her opinion anyway.
"James, Remus?" Sirius asks, acknowledging Remus for the first time.
Remus glances over and gives a nod, and James grins. "Yeah, course."
"Our home is your home," Sirius tells him. "When are you thinking of doing this?"
"I'll go back to Hogwarts in September, but during the holidays, I'll come here, and then officially and properly when I finish."
Sirius looks between James and Regulus for a minute. "Then three months after that, it'll be the wedding," he says. "Remus, I think me and you will need to swap rooms. I can't be in the room next to them."
Remus gives a slight nod and Sirius looks around the room. "You and Regulus look happy," Sirius comments. "I'm almost tempted to let you live. Well, as long as you behave and… just… just marry him first, okay?"
James nods his head. "We're going very slow," James promises.
"Well, goodnight," Sirius murmurs. He doesn't glance at Remus as he leaves because he knows why he ran. He realised it when he asked them to stop talking about it.
Because he's not been able to stop thinking about this string on his hand, and the fact that he could be happy with his soulmate right now.
"Sirius?" It's dark and Sirius has been laying in bed for over an hour, unable to sleep.
"Remus?"
The door closes behind Remus and the cover moves aside as Remus climbs into the bed.
"I'm scared," Remus admits quietly. "We're friends, and this is all terrifying. I thought I'd not even have a string, or that it'd be a woman. When the string led to you… Sirius, I didn't want to get my hopes up because I'm not used to such good luck and it's like… I suppose like winning the soulmate lottery, having you as my soulmate. I would never break the bond, and… and I'm terrified."
At least there's something here to work with.
"So am I," Sirius admits. "We're both in the same boat, Remus. But do you know how you feel about it?"
"I can't tell my dad. Not just yet," Remus murmurs. "But… but I like you. I… I need time to figure it all out in my head because… because it's overwhelming, but… but I know I haven't given you any clear indication of my feelings. I… I don't want a sham marriage, Sirius."
"We can build up from friendship to more. There's no rush," Sirius tells him. He can just about make out Remus' outline on the bed. "No rush at all. All I wanted was to know if you wanted this or not. I don't expect you to fall in love with me overnight or anything."
"Can I… I need you. Can I sleep here tonight?" Remus asks, his voice little more than a whisper.
"You can stay," Sirius agrees, softly. "Let's go to sleep, yeah?"
Remus nods.
"I'm sorry," he starts. "I fucked up, and… and I'm sorry that I—"
"As long as you're telling the truth, you're forgiven. Just… I don't want to think about it all anymore," Sirius admits quietly. He shuffles a little bit closer, his heart pounding against his chest all of a sudden as he closes the distance between their bodies.
Remus is laying flat on his back, and Sirius rests his head right next to Remus' shoulder, wanting nothing more than to cuddle him properly, but he's too scared to make that final move. This here is nice. It's the first step and Sirius will take it. He doesn't care if this takes months, even years. As long as he knows.
Sirius can't stop smiling as the days pass. They don't talk much more about it, but he's got the answer he needs from Remus. The marriage won't be a sham, it'll be something real. One day, no rush. He'll leave all that to Remus to work out.
He tells his neighbour that he's not interested in a second date.
He's coming back from a job interview when he hears voices behind the door. Assuming it's Remus with James and Regulus, Sirius opens the door and walks in, a grin on his face, his eyes on the sofa, ready to get between James and Regulus if they're too close together, but the smile fades at the sight of Hope and Lyall.
"Sirius, there you are!" Hope says, standing and walking over. "How are you, sweetheart?" She gives Sirius a hug and Sirius hugs her back, giving Remus a questioning look over her shoulder. He shakes his head slightly and Sirius knows that they're unaware of the situation.
"I'm good," he says. "It's good to see you both, and I hate to do this - I'd love to stay and chat and catch up, but I've just had an interview, but I've gotta get something and rush straight back out for another one." It's bullshit, but he can't stay here. They'd think him rude if he hides in his room. "Remus, are James and Regulus around? I might catch them on the way back - might order in."
"In that cafe around the corner," Remus says. It's clear he realises the lie.
Sirius nods. "Good to see you both. Hope, Lyall." He nods towards Remus' dad who smiles back.
As Sirius disappears down the hall to his room, he can hear Lyall's voice.
"All I was saying earlier was that James and Regulus are a bad match."
"Leave them, they're sweet. They were holding hands. Smitten!" Hope declares.
"They're men," Lyall replies. "Sure, the law will force them to wed, but they can do that and just do the normal thing and find women to settle down with. I'm sure that the spell-work has messed up somewhere. It has probably matched two women up. Maybe that's the solution. All the couples paired up wrongly just find another couple in the same boat."
Silence follows and Sirius goes into his room and counts to thirty before he starts to leave again. Voices are raised as he walks down the hallway.
"Lyall, these are not the middle ages," Hope says angrily. "If James and Regulus are happy, then who are they hurting?"
"It's just not how things are done." Lyall says. "You're just defending them because we all saw where Remus' string was pointing.
Serius freezes in place.
"What?" Remus asks.
"I was watching. It changed direction as Sirius went up the hall. It all adds up, your rush to move in here with him," Lyall says. "Though I'm glad to hear that you've got your own room. That you're not… like the others."
Sirius continues slowly up the hall.
"That boy is not someone you want to have your name linked to," Lyall adds, lowering his voice slightly, and Sirius pauses at the front door.
"What's wrong with Sirius?" Remus asks.
"Sirius is a lovely boy," Hope snaps. "He's always looked out for Remus. Remus is always writing home about him, and he's kind."
"But his family, and… well, you don't want to be matched with him. What you need to do is contact the Ministry. He's able to avoid the law on this because you're a werewolf, and if he's able to, you'll be able to appeal on this because you're a werewolf."
Sirius doesn't move. He's never considered that, and the silence goes on longer than he'd like.
"No," Remus suddenly tells his dad. "Sirius is great. We're good friends, and… well, I don't want to appeal this. Would you honestly rather I end up alone? I've spent a long time thinking about this, Dad. I… I'm not gay, I'm bisexual and I'm attracted to Sirius and have been for a while… and I plan to make this work. The law brought us together, but as James says, it doesn't force us to feel something. It just finds us our perfect match. He's right. Sirius is right. I know you're against same-sex relationships, but… but perhaps that's something you can put aside. For me."
Sirius smiles as he quietly opens the door and slips out. Remus is choosing him. He's just about to close the door behind him when he hears Lyall's voice raise. The man is angry, and Sirius is not going to leave when he's talking to Remus like that.
He walks back in, slamming the door behind him and he storms into the living room. Remus is pale as his father snaps at him and Sirius walks in front of Remus and crosses his arms.
"Get out of our flat," he snarls.
Lyall is taken aback by this. "What did you say?"
"You're a guest here," Sirius points out. "If you can't treat him with some respect or common decency, you need to leave. You can return when you're able to behave better."
Lyall goes to answer, but Hope grabs his arm and yanks him towards the door. He looks between his wife and the two men, before storming out.
Hope mouths apologies and blows kisses before following Lyall, and Sirius knows that she'll be stopping in soon to support Remus. Hope is amazing. Lyall, not so much.
Sirius turns to Remus. Remus is pale and his breathing is shaky and Sirius reaches out, wrapping his arms around him. He's felt panic like this before, and the best thing is that Remus knows he's not alone. Whatever happens, Sirius is there. Forever.
He rubs soothing circles onto Remus' back until Remus' breathing returns to normal. Sirius pulls away and takes a step back, taking Remus' hand in his own as he does.
"Mum was fine with it," Remus mutters, a quiver to his voice the only evidence that he's hurting. "I didn't expect them. Dad had an issue ever since walking in the door and seeing James and Regulus' strings." He pauses. "I know you lied to try and avoid them seeing the string, and I appreciate that. So much." He steps closer to Sirius, his hand coming up, and he tucks a stray strand of hair behind Sirius' ear.
"I'd never consider going to the Ministry and asking them to allow me out of this, because of your condition," Sirius blurts.
"I know. And I'd never go there either," Remus confirms. "I'm still scared, Sirius. Terrified. But… but I know I want this. I always have, and need to face up to my feelings. For my feelings for you."
Before Sirius can think of a reply, Remus leans in and presses his lips gently against Sirius', and Sirius can only focus on two things.
His heart hammering away in his chest and the feel of Remus' lips against his.
Remus pulls away, blushing, his lips stretched into a wide smile as he leans his forehead against Sirius'.
"Come on," Sirius says, grabbing his hand. "We're getting married soon, we've already kissed but I've yet to take you on a first date. I'm going to get changed, be ready in five minutes and we'll go."
"Where?" Remus asks.
"Anywhere you want," Sirius confirms. "I honestly don't care where, simply because as long as I'm with you, I know I'll have the most amazing time. I always do."
He feels brave as he leans in and brushes Remus' lips with his own. "Five minutes," he repeats before heading back towards his room.
8430 words
Please leave a review - I'd like to know that people are enjoying my words still :)
Also written for:
Autumn Seasonal -
Days of the Year - 21st October - Babbling Day: Write about someone talking too much.
Jewellery Month - 38. Moon: (word) Moon
National Author Month - 19. Terry Pratchett - Dialogue: "The worst thing you can do is nothing."
Indigenous Peoples Day - 4. New Hope Academy: (drink) Coffee
Comic Book Day - 9. Superman: (dialogue) "You're stronger than you think you are."
World Farm Animals Day - 10. Duck - (trait) Emotional
Colours - 11. Ebony
Flowers - 7. Dianthus: (dialogue) "I'm almost tempted to let you live."
Locations - 10. The Great Hall
Crystals & Gemstones - 7. Lithium Light: (scenario) Trying to calm a panic attack
Tarot Reading - 9. The Hanged Man: Write about pausing to reflect on something.
Seasonal Ravenclaw Challenge - (character) Regulus Black
Moony's Neon Cafe - Food - 7. Pumpkin Patch Pastries - (word) Lost
Writing Club
Gotta Catch Them All - 6. Charmander: (trait) Emotional
Written in the stars - 10. (action) fighting back
This or That - (Drink) Hot Chocolate
Showtime - 15. (action) counting
Lizzy's Loft - 17. Down in the Dumps - Scared of heights like I'm scared of falling in love
Elizabeth's Empire - 10. Maybe - Annie: Prompt: Prompt: (drink) coffee
Angel's Archive - 2. (color) Gold
Lyric Alley - 9. You can make it out
Artist Appreciation - 22. Invisible String - Red string of fate
Buttons - Object 4: teacup
TV Spree - 12. (action) Hiding in another room (toilet/shed/etc)
Sophie's Smut Bucket - 13. (dialogue) "I need you."
Insert Title - 14. Soulmate
Potion Making - 3. (emotion) Embarrassed
Sandwich - Filling - 5. Pastrami - Soulmates