Super Smash Bros. Adventures by Preston Ward Condra
In the hotel of Super Smash Bros…
Zero Suit Samus: Hey guys. I made food for us!
Pit spits out the food.
Zero Suit Samus: Why does everyone hate my food?
Everyone Else: Because you touch yourself at night.
Link: Seriously Samus, I'm taking Kirby at my room.
Kirby and Link appear in the room and Link sees his worst nightmare.
A gay poster. It says Link is gay!
Link: Gay gay gay. Gay gay gay gay gay gay!
Kirby: Link, what's wrong?
Link's brain is zoomed in on the search.
Sex Searching….have sex at E3.
Kirby: Link, let's go.
Link: Gay, gay ga-
Mario whaps him with a guitar.
Wario: So guys…I got wishes! I wish for butt kissing!
Link: I'm bored.
Kirby: You wanna kiss my butt?
Link: Sure! Wheeeeee! But, gay, gay ga-
Kirby kissed Link's butt.
5 hours later
After watching the trailer at E3….
Solid Snake: That was the best trailer ever!
Pikachu and Mario get out the closet.
Both: That was the best sex ever!
Metaknight sees them out of the closet.
Metaknight moves away.
Link and Kirby arrive.
Link: People…I have an announcement!
Kirby: Are butts are married!
Link: Let's go tell everyone.
Mario: That was better than TV.
Zero Suit Samus: Why won't you hold me!?
Wario: The money is on the dresser!
Mario gets sucked in Zero Suit Samus boobies.
Mario: OOOHH! SHINY! *smiley face*
Mario bites Zero Suit Samus's nipple.
Zero Suit Samus: Oh boy that feeled good. *smiley face*
Meanwhile Solid Snake, Pit and Link go at Nintendo Booth playing Red Steel.
Solid Snake: Nooo!
His player died.
Pit: You suck!
Metaknight: I suck balls!
Link: Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!
Everyone arrives at home.
Pit: Guys! I just farted! *smiley face*
Wario: Looks like I'm not the only one….
Mario: OMG
Solid Snake: What does OMG stand for?
Kirby: Enter more chatrooms! I like Myspace dot com.
Zero Suit Samus: I got an announcement!
Pikachu: You kissed Peach?
Zero Suit Samus: No…well that too…but…
Everyone stares at Mario's penis
Mario: What are you looking at?
Pit: The hell you say!?
Kirby: He cussed!
Pit: I like food.
Zero Suit Samus: What does food have to do with any of us?
Mario: My penis!
Pikachu: Can I suck it? *smiley face*
Link: No! Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!
Solid Snake: Hey guys! I ordered a ship. Let's go on a stupid adventure!
Metaknight: Ok!
They do go on a pointless adventure…and run into a monster!
Link: OMG! OMG! OMG! He's gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!
Kirby swallows him and held captive bye the monster.
Mario: I think you did something wrong…
Sorry. The monster is dead!
Monster: Oh my god I'm dead!
The monster died!
Meanwhile Mega Man and Sonic's plan fell into action!
Mega Man: You want me to fall? Okay! *smiley face*
Mega Man falls
Sonic: ….
Back at the hotel, Mario and Link brought another gay poster…
Zero Suit Samus: I got an announcement!
Kirby: Grand Thef Auto SA is AO!? Oh wait I'm 18! Sucks to be you guys!
Link: Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay?
Zero Suit Samus: I brought a pair of balls!
Kirby: Hey Mario! I…
Mario: What?
Kirby: Love your nipples!
Kirby sucks Mario's nipples…
Wario: And I bought a pog-pog!
Solid Snake: I'm selling hobos!
Link's brain goes into overdrive.
Metaknight: Let's dance!
Wario: Why?
Zero Suit Samus: I smell…ah my bra and panties are missing!
Pit comes in the room and stares at Zero Suit Samus ….
Pit: Aaah!
Pit ran away from the nude, come back to take a picture and ran away.
Link puts on Zero Suit Samus's bra and panties…
Link: I love running in the nude! But it's gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!
Mario: AAAAHHHHH THE HORROR!
Mario runs away.
Kirby: Come back here sweetheart! I wanna auction of your nipples of the internet!
Wario: ….
Pikachu stared at Zero Suit Samus.
Zero Suit Samus: ….*smiley face*
Zerio Suit Samus kissed Pikachu's butt!
Pikachu: That felled good!
Link tell some 6 year kids that he was gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
Youngest Kid: Mommy…your gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!
Mother: It's a good thing.
The housemates flow to Day 2 of E3…
They see Halo 3, Scarface, MGS4, Spore, Wii games and a few DS titles.
Wario: Snake. Snakeeeeeee!
Solid Snake: You stupid whipping snappers!
Mario: I swapped Zero Suit Samus penis!
Pit, Wario and Link fly around.
Wario: I got to go to the bathroom.
Pit: Do it!
Solid Snake just polished his nails than Wario poop lands on his brain.
Solid Snake likes the poop…
Solid Snake: I love you poop! *smiley face*
The poop has sex with him.
The poop poppes Snake's boobies.
Solid Snake: Hey I wonder who gave me boobies….
Kirby: Haha!
He hides his booby gun.
Link: Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!
Kirby: …
Link: I wasn't licking your balls! *angry face*
At the booth Mario is hiding up in the ceiling and trying to zoom onto Zero Suit Samus.
Mario: Yes…down…oh a slip picture. Haha! *smiley face*
When they arrive at home, the place is trashed…
Zero Suit Samus: My nail polish!
Mario: My boobies!
Solid Snake: My hobos!
Wario: I just farted.
Kirby: Shut up!
Wario: Ok. *sad face*
Kirby: I'm calling my mother!
Link: Hey guys…were meaning sued for using to many.
Wario: Spell many…
Link: M-V-L-P-S-T-F-L-O-V-E! MANY!
Today's episodie is brought to you by the letter God that's messed up…
Wario: Hey Kirby…
Kirby: What?
Wario: I'm scared! AAAAAHHHH!
Metaknight: I got a – Hey I'm on T.V. Hi Mom!
Pit: I don't know my name but it's Pit…
Mario: I'm Mario! *smiley face*
Metaknight knocks him out with the gun.
Link: Let me sing a song…All I dream is about sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.
Brain goes into super overdrive.
The next morning
Wario watches his favorite show. The World's Funniest Dust Clouds.
Dust Cloud: I'm a funny cloud. I'm a funny cloud.
Metaknight takes everyone in his starship.
Wario: Why are you talking us in the ship?
Mario: My armpits suck balls!
Seeing how Link could not get his Birthday gift, he headed to Halo Headquarters
They see a large ring with a giant head holding quarters.
Wario: Money! *smiley face*
Zero Suit Samus: Who knew sex makes the world go-round. *smiley face*
Everyone goes in
Kirby and Metaknight see and smile at the bed.
They both jump over the bed.
Kirby: AHAHAHA! BOING!
Metaknight: This is the best sex everset! *smiley face*
Wario: I need to do something!
Pikachu: I have no lines…..
Halo People: ….
Mario: If I don't get any lines soon I'll…
Kirby: What?
Mario: I'll…
Kirby: What!?
Mario: Kiss Solid Snake.
Solid Snake: Why me God? *sad face*
Zero Suit Samus: Booby surgery makes the world go round!
Link: Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay! Gay, gay, gay, gay!
Pit: OMG! I got booby surgery!
Kirby flys him to a Hostipal….
Out of nowhere Mega Man and Sonic appear with a strong storm.
Solid Snake: Holy sh-
Metaknight: Oh noes were doomeded! *sad face*
Wario: Yay! *smiley face*
Zero Suit Samus whacks him with an axe.
Wario: Sorry. *sad face*
Sonic and Mega Man chase them back at the hotel.
Jessie and James from Pokémon show up too.
Jessie: Where's are love?!
Meowth: I like pie! *smiley face*
Back at the hostpial, Kirby and Pit kissed each other.
Kirby: Sweetheart…*smiley face*
Link: Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
Little did they know…the Family Guy residenits see them.
Stewie: Holy crap! Some of them are naked.
Mag: Isn't he cute…
Mag stares at Pikachu and Meowth.
Pikachu: Pika Pretty Power!
Pikachu shocks Stewie.
Stewie: Don't make me fire my pee-pee!
Everything goes Worms style.
And Mario knocks down Luis with a grenade.
Luis: My pog-pog! *sad face*
It's Robert turn and kills the Family Guy residenits!
Peter: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!
They die.
Robert: AHAHAHAHAAHAHA! Owned.
Pikachu: I love a happy ending! *smiley face*
Robert: Yeah…but the Family Guy characters died.
Zero Suit Samus: So when the next episodie begins can I hug Wario's balls?
Wario: No babycakes.
Zero Suit Samus turns into a baby.
Austin Powers: That woman is a baby, baby!
Mario: Hey Pikachu! Were nowhere near finish!
Link: You mean I can't finish saying, gay, gay, gay? You meanie!
Stewie: FOOLS!
Metaknight: Huh?
Stewie: Eat pee-pee you jerks!
Louis: Stewie let's go watch Barney.
Brain: So let's hug! *smiley face*
Meg: Yay!
5 months later…
Stewie: OMG! These people have a movie and a puffball! This is an outrage! No no no!
Back down stairs…
Peter: Did you hear something?
Brain shrugs.
Back at Nintendo's Reisdent's…..
Pit: Ok what happened?
Mario: Yay! *smiley face*
Solid Snake: No Mario that's not good.
Mario: *sad face*
Zero Suit Samus: Are you making fun of food again!?
Robert: Can we just countinue?
Zero Suit Samus: Hell yes!
Zero Suit Samus lets out a big Ahhhhh.
Metaknight: I got Wario back!
Pikachu: And the bad news?
Metaknight: He farted.
Mario: Oh great…
Pit: Everyone run!
Everyone passed out…
30 minutes later…
Wario: Give me your lunch money!
Kirby: Why?
Wario: I need to buy pin dicks!
Robert: No fair.
Robert hits Wario.
Wario: Meenie…
Link: Can I call you Mr. Meenie for now on?
Wario: You can call me Mr. Call the floor with my teeth….
Kirby: Nice name. *smiley face*
Back next door…
Stewie: I'm sending out zombies!
Louis: Stewie! It's bed time!
Stewie: Blast!
Little did Stewie know, the zombies were coming from the Cetermy and something was causing it…
Zero Suit Samus: I demand more lines! *sad face*
The zombies arrive at the Nintendo's house and kidnapped everyone expect Link and Kirby…
Kirby: I think I wet myself…
Link steps away.
Zombies break into the house and kidnap Link…
15 minutes later…
The zombies cover them with gay stuff.
Mega Man: Kill them! *angry face* Not cover them with gay stuff!
Zombies: Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!
Link: This is certainly gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
Mega Man: Can you at least try to be serious?
Link rolls his eyes.
Everyone breaks free for some reason….
Back the hotel…
Mario: Metaknight you're cheating on me!? With who!?
Kirby: Give it to me honey!
Zero Suit Samus: ?
Mario: Hey guys! SSB is been released with sex toys!
Wario: I'm gonna have sex with everyone!
Metaknight out of no-where and eats Solid Sanke's armpit…
Solid Snake: Can I eat your nipple?
Kirby: Sure.
Robert: Yay! This will be fun.
Mario: Yeah although there to heavy…
Zero Suit Samus: Freak…
Pit: Stupid!
5 months later…
Christmas Eve…
Meg: I hope Brian, Chris and Peter don't forget my gift again….
The End