Ch 2: Fired
The next morning Remus woke up to find Sirius' face exactly three centimeters away from his. This was so utterly terrifying that Remus screamed, put a pirate costume on and jumped out the window.
"I just wanted to ask you what ice-cream men wear to work!" Yelled Sirius "Oh Well. I'll ask Snape!"
Before asking Snape Sirius went through Remus stuff and stole all his cheese and pepperoni. "Yummy!" said Sirius
Sirius walked into Snape's room to find something so horribly terrifying that some people would have gone insane right there and then. Snape was shaving his legs! Eew!
But since Sirius was as stupid as a very stupid hotdog he was neither driven to insanity nor terrified. In fact he showed no sign of noticing that anything downright dreadful was happening at all. So I guess it was pointless for me to mention it and upset your stomach. I'm terribly sorry. But not really. But we'll just pretend I am.
"Snape" said Sirius "What do Ice-cream men wear to work?"
Snape was about to tell Sirius to shut up and leave him alone when he thought of a very clever evil way to bring shame upon the stupid being. He started to laugh like crazy.
Sirius stood around looking like a stupid being. To entertain himself he started to fill Snape's sock's with Kraft dinner.
"I'm such a rebel!" said Sirius when all Snape's sock were absolutely full of Kraft Dinner. "So…"
Snape came back to his senses. "Ice-cream men wear tight leather underwear, big leather boot's and no shirt to work. It's like an unwritten rule or something!" said Snape.
So Sirius put on his leather underwear, Remus' big leather boots the big blonde wig and the big bushy mustache.
If you picture this in your mind you'll understand why, when Sirius walked into the ice cream shop he was fired on the spot. Meanwhile…
When Remus woke up he was in a rosebush wearing a pirate costume. A bunch of people were pointing and laughing at him.
"Wow!" said Remus "I must be mental!" He smiled "Hooray!"
He got out of his rosebush and walked into the house. To his horror it smelt like Lavender, all the furniture had been died purplish-pink, candles were burning all over the place there was an old wrinkly man named Steve playing a violin. Also there was a tall mysterious man wearing a black trenchcoat and hat, big black sunglasses and big black boots.
"SIRIUS!" Yelled Remus so loud that the neighbor named Urkle thought his house was being attacked by giant mountain goat's and hid in his cupboard which was much to small for him so he tuned purple and was called Purple Urkle till the end of his days.
Meanwhile Sirius came down the stairs wearing a shiny pink ball gown.
"Why is our manly house all womanly?" asked Remus.
"Because I got fired by my job as an ice-cream man. So I have become a poet! All this stuff is supposed to inspire me! Exept the mysterious man. I found him in my suitcase." said Sirius.
"Plus now I get to wear a dress for some odd reason that makes no scents. Yay dresses!" Sirius stared at himself lovingly for a few moments.
"Wanna hear my poem about Snape?" asked Sirius "It's beautiful." He cried a bit because his poem was so beautiful.
"No I don't" said Remus
"Me neither" said Snape who had just came out of his room carrying a Dalmatian donkey and was looking around in complete disgust.
"Too bad" said Sirius. He then recited his idiotic poem about Severus Snape.
"Your beautiful name is Severus Snape
You have the features of a hairless ape
All those of Gryffindore think you are a sinner
I'm proud cuz I filled your socks with Kraft Dinner
Your only friend is named hairy bob
You got me fired from my job
But still I say your perfect, though an ugly man
And I'd appreciate it if you'd get a tan
I'd be sad if you died
Why when I walk by you run and hide?
You'd pass out running around a track
But know you'll always have a friend named Sirius Black"
For a moment after he finished, Remus and Snape just stared at Sirius not believing someone could be that stupid. Then Snape had a tantrum out of pure anger and disgust.
He grabbed the mysterious man and threw him out the window. If you're a fan of the mysterious man don't worry. He'll be back.
Then Snape ran out of the house and went to his anger management class.
"Sirius!" yelled Remus "I forbid you to be a Poet! Now clean up this womanly crap!"
Sirius cleaned up the womanly crap and continued his searched for a perfect job. What will it be? A mail man? A Lawyer? An Oscar Myers wiener? Only the next chapter will tell you.
Yay mysterious man! Join the mysterious man fanclub today!