Snape walked into the waffle shop were he would meet his anger management class for the first time ever. To his angst it was Dumbledore sitting there in a tie die shirt. He was holding a sign that said "Anger Management Instructor". Dumbledore also had a sign that said "Proud member of the mysterious man fanclub."
"This couldn't possibly be more horrible." Sighed Snape kicking an innocent bowling ball very hard. He started to cry because kicking a bowling ball with such force really hurts
When he was done crying he found out it was more horrible. Dumbledore had forgotten to put on pants! His red woman underwear had turkeys and Cheeseburgers on them.
"AGGHHHHH!" screamed Snape shielding his poor eyes "Old Senile man legs!"
"Nonsense dear boy!" said Dumbledore leading Snape out of the Waffle Shop. Mothers covered their kid's eyes. Those who didn't have any kids found some random old person and shielded their eyes.
After two minutes of walking Dumbledore stopped and announced "this is were we will have your dancing lesson." He then sat on the grass and so did Snape.
"I'm having Anger management you old senile leprechaun." said Snape
"That's what I said." Said Dumbledore " Now listen to my lessons and soon you'll be calmer that a sleeping bulldozer wearing a curly black wig. Lesson one: The cure to anger is sausage!"
"Sausage?" yelled Snape
"Yes! Sausage" said Dumbledore "Lesson two: happiness is a square yo-yo."
"AGGHHHH!" screamed Snape "YOU SENILE OLD MAN! WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS A LOAD OF CRAP!" Snape had another tantrum and ran home to the Black house so he could let out his anger by shoving a teapot down Sirius's throat. And that's just what he did.
When Sirius could breathe again he asked Sirius is the anger management glass had worked.
"You idiot!" screeched Snape "If it had helped do you think I would have shoved a teapot down your throat? And no it did not! Dumbledore just said the cure to anger is sausage and happiness is a square yo-yo!"
"WHAT? THAT'S JUST STUPID!" said Sirius so angrily that Snape almost thought he was somewhat intelligent until… "The first part is right but even a complete moron knows that happiness is playing bingo!"
Sirius was so mad he stomped of to clean his cat's litterbox. He then remembered he didn't have a cat so he went to the drugstore and bought an unnecessary amount of grape flavored cough syrup.
On his way home the ministry of magic chased him because he had forgotten his disguise. He finally lost them and went home.
Meanwhile Snape was mad and pouting. This chapter was supposed to be about him not that stupid idiot Sirius. That's why when Remus and Sirius were both in the living room he did something exciting so the story would focus on him again.
"I'm going on a diet!" yelled Snape loudly. He could have just said it but he thought yelling it would be more dramatic.
"Umm…." Said Remus looking at the already to Skinny body of Severus Snape "…Why?"
"I'M SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR NEED TO DIET!" screamed Sirius, who was looking for a new job in the newspaper.
"Yeah. Me too I guess." Said Remus, who was very hungry "To celebrate your dieting we shall all have pudding!" he reached into his pocked and took out three bowls of pudding.
Sirius squealed with glee and ate his pudding in a mouthful. That caused him to get massive hiccups. He hiccuped so massively he got shot backwards and landed on Steve the violin player.
"Oh!" said Sirius "Sorry Steve the violin player!" He helped Steve back up and sat down beside Remus.
"I thought you had gotten rid of all the womanly crap!" said Remus angrily.
"Steve's not womanly crap!" said Sirius "He makes me happy. Besides I can't return him cuz I bought his on sale at a flea market."
"I can't eat pudding!" Screamed Snape realizing he couldn't eat pudding "I'm on a diet!" He then had yet another tantrum.
"Good thing I have diet pudding in my shoe!" said Remus pulling a bowl of diet pudding out of his shoe and handing it to Snape.
Snape squealed with glee and almost ate it but Sirius hadn't done anything in a while and he chose that moment to show his undying hatred of diet pudding.
"Diet putting! Pah!" said Sirius angrily "I Spit on diet putting!"
Sirius then Spat on Snapes diet pudding. Snape howled in anger and had another major tantrum.
"Who didn't see that one coming?" said Remus watching Snape acting like an angry lumberjack named Philip.
"I have just gotten the perfect job!" said Sirius coming in the door and taking of his disguise. Remus stared at him in shock because it had only been three minutes since Sirius had spat in Snapes Pudding, which is hardly enough time to get a job.
"Im a waitress!" said Sirius.
"You mean a waiter?" asked Snape.
"Sure. I get to wait on people! I can't wait until tomorrow." Said Sirius like a little kid on Christmas Eve.