Remus walked outside to find Sirius lying in the middle of the road.
"New job?" asked Remus
"Yup!" said Sirius "I'm a speed bump! Hurray"
Remus went back inside. To his horror he found Harry had died his hair blonde! He also had blue contacts on.
"HARRY!" screamed Remus "Explain you new looks!"
"I want to look more like Malfoy" explained Harry "Maybe now I can get a girlfriend!"
"I doubt it." Said Snape who was eating green eggs and ham.
Remus invited a whole bunch of people over cuz the characters in this story are getting very boring and stale. So everybody came over and brought refreshments!
"MOVE AWAY! MY HEAD FEELS LIKE A CUCUMBER!" screamed Dumbledore.
"HEY!" screamed Remus "I NEVER INVITED YOU!" Remus then kicked Dumbledore out of the house.
"My spider senses are telling me, groundhogs will take over the world." Said Hermione looking up from her encyclopedia of shoes.
"OH DEEEAAARRR!" screamed Ron jumping out the window.
"You have spider senses?" said Neville adoringly to Hermione "Woah!"
That's when Sirius entered the room again. He had many tire marks on him. He put on a pair of platform shoes.
Oliver Wood did a circus routine.
"Im from Chicago!" said Fred.
"No you're not"! Screamed George
"YES I AM!" screamed Fred
"NOOOOO!" screamed George. Fred and George then got into a very violent fistfight.
"You see!" screamed Sirius "This is why we don't have company!"
"AGGHH! SIRIUS BLACK!" screamed Malfoy fainting.
"NOOO!" said Ginny who had just gotten very bad plastic surgery. "My semi-good looks are ruined!" she started to sob.
"OOOOHHHHH!" yelled Lucius Malfoy. "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? LUCIUS MALFOY! Absorbent and yellow and-OUCH!" Snape had just slammed Lucius' fingers in a plastic china cabinet.
Voldemort suddenly ran into the house wearing a doctor costume and carrying a pumpkin pie.
"Hi everybody!" said Voldemort.
"Hi Doctor Voldemort!" chorused everybody else.
"Die Voldemort!" yelled Harry. He then killed Voldemort with a twelve pack of beer.
Snape walked into the room wearing a cheetah dress. He began to pound on his chest and sing:
"Snape, Snape, Snape, Snape of the jungle watch out for that…" He ran into a hunk of metal. "…Hunk of metal!" Snape then passed out.
"I LOVE PURPLE STEW! I LOVE PURPLE SEWBYDUBYDUBYDU! PURPLE TOMATO'S AND PURPLE POTATO'S AND YOU IN MY PURPLE STEW!" sang Dobby. He began to dance to the song Mumbo Number Five.
Hermione began to cry.
"Why are you crying Hermione dearest?" asked Dean Thomas.
"BEACAUSE!" yelled Hermione "I CAN'T DO A SUMMERSAULT!" She cried so hard it cause everybody to go to the other side of the room and stare at her terrified.
"Shish kabobs have stolen my baby," said Percy with no emotion.
"My name is none of your business!" cried Neville in much distress.
"Everybody then left the house for absolutely no reason.