Carmilla Black

What is a normal life like again? I don't know if I ever really knew what one was. I thought I did years ago.

Back then, I was living in Albuquerque. I wasn't Carmilla Black. No, I was Thasanee Rappaccini. My life was pretty typical back then. Up until that fateful day at Homecoming, I was the only child of two parents. My father was an office worker and my mother was a part time librarian. I wouldn't say I was spoiled, but I was well taken care of. At school… I guess I was somewhat popular? I don't know. I wasn't captain of the cheerleading squad or anything, but people knew who I was and I got invited to parties and to hangout, so there's that. I even fell in love with a guy, and we ended up dating.

Like I said, typical.

Of course, you know the rest of that story. Homecoming came around my sophomore year. I went with my boyfriend. My powers became active. I killed my boyfriend by accident. I rushed home, not knowing what else to do, only to see my folks being wheel off in a gurney as SHIELD agents were all over my front lawn. And then SHIELD explained to me that they weren't really my parents and they were A.I.M. operatives.

See, that was the most traumatizing thing about that night – not my powers emerging out of nowhere, not me killing my boyfriend, but me finding out that my whole life was a lie.

Ever since then, my life was far from normal. I went from Thasanee Rappaccini to Carmilla Black. I went from living in a decently sized two story home to living in a SHIELD facility. I went from learning Algebra 2 and English Lit to learning multiple languages, fighting styles, and how to use firearms and other kind of weapons. I was basically being raised up as a child agent, or soldier even. I wasn't complaining. Even to this day, I was still on the hunt for my mother, who I wanted to see behind bars or dead – I didn't quite care which. But at the same time, there were days when I wished my previous life was actually real and not some lie orchestrated by a terrorist organization.

Case in point, at this very moment, I was a bodega in Queens, looking at the soda that was on the shelf – or, rather, the lack thereof. I narrowed my eyes before walked up to the counter.

"Hey, you got any Sprite?" I asked the man at the register.

"Nah, lady," he replied with a shake of his head. "I've been out since about noon. As a matter of fact, I've been cleaned out of all my drink packs – soda, juice, juice drink, tea, and most of the water."

I raised my eyebrows above my sunglasses. "Most?"

"Yeah. People still don't fuck with Dasani. But, yeah, I usually get a lot of customers on this day, you know?"

I titled my head. "What's so special about today?"

At that, the man scoffed. "You don't know? It's Valentine's Day Weekend. So many high schools are hosting dances, functions, all that. And what do high schoolers do? They host after parties, so they got to have drinks, food, snacks, and the like on deck. My store was barely even open when I got someone buying all the M&Ms and Skittles I got."

I nodded. "You don't say." I was reminded at that moment that Craig was out with the rest of the American Idiots, going to Midtown's dance with Kitty as his date. I felt myself become a bit upset. I wanted to be there, experiencing the dance with the rest of them, Craig especially. But I couldn't. For one, I was still keeping a low profile. Even in this bodega, I was dressed in black pants, a black hoodie with my hood up, and a pair of black sunglasses. Even with that aside, Craig already promised Kitty he'd go with her, way before the X-Men even started planning on rescuing me. And that was on me. I was the one who left after things went bad between me and Craig. I was the one who got captured because I got stupid and violated one of my own personal rules. So, even though Craig and I reconciled, I was still shit out of luck when it came to being with the others, because even if Kitty offered to let me go in her place, I would have said no. It wouldn't have been fair to her.

"Well, anything I can help you out with?" the man behind the register asked.

"Nah, I think I'll just head out," I replied. "You have a good rest of the night."

With that, I left. I walked over to my black 2011 Honda Civic Coupe. After taking a quick look around, making sure I wasn't being followed, I got into my car and drove off. On my way back to Rockaway, I had the radio turned up just high enough so I could hear the music playing. At every stop, I looked around as discreetly as I could. Was I being a bit paranoid? Maybe, but I got caught slipping before and I really didn't want to end up being captured and imprisoned again. During the drive, there was this white Scion tC that was going in the same direction as me for a while, but just as I readied myself to pull out one of my Beretta 92FSs, the car made a right turn. I let go of the breath I was holding. I turned my head towards the radio, recognizing the song that was playing.

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back

It's like a whirlwind inside of my head

It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within

It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I scoffed as I looked forward out of the windshield.

"Just two more days," I said to myself. "Two more days, and I can come back."

Seriously, fuck Justin Hammer.

I kept on driving. I eventually ended up at Rockaway. I drove through the area, passing by houses until I ended up at the one mansion that was pretty isolated. It was one of those modern architecture type houses that looked like somebody looked at one of those Piet Mondrian square paintings and said "I want that, but in 3D". It was light gray and white and very boxy with every edge being either completely horizontal or completely vertical. The interior of the house was great, but the exterior was… eh. Craig loved the design, but I didn't care for it. I mean, I don't hate it. I just find it a bit boring.

The design of the house was the least of my concern. What was my concern was the black Toyota Highlander that was in the driveway. I narrowed my eyes as I pulled up beside it. I turned the car off and pulled out the key out of the ignition. Slowly, I got out of the car and closed the door. I took in a breath before lifted up my hoodie and pulled out one of my Berettas from its holster. I then pulled out a suppressor from the small utility belt wrapped around my waist under my hoodie. I let the bottom of my hoodie drop as I twisted the suppressor into the barrel of the pistol.

"Seriously, on Valentine's Day weekend?" I grumbled to myself. I grunted as I gave the suppressor one last twist. "At least it's not Christmas, I guess." I switched the safety off and cocked the hammer. I crouched down and started to creep around the house. I held my gun low, keeping my head on a swivel. It took me sometime to reach the backyard. I heard a skittering across the leaves on the ground. Quickly, I aimed my gun in that direction. I then sighed as I lowered it. It was just a squirrel. I walked over to the glass doors that led inside. I checked the locks for any signs of damage or tampering. I found none. I grabbed the door handle and twisted it. It was locked.

"They must've gotten through the front door," I whispered to myself. "…Well, they'll be leaving out the front door after I put them on a – " I stopped myself from finishing that statement. "Nope, can't do that. X-Men don't kill… usually." Quietly, I pulled out my keys and put one of themt in the lock before I unlocked the door. I pocketed my keys, then grabbed the door handle. Slowly and quietly, I opened the door. I snuck in before I closed the door behind me and locked it. All of the lights were on. I narrowed my eyes and blinked my third eyelids. "So they break in and run up the light bill. The audacity."

I continued to creep forward. I heard some sounds – it sounded like… plastic bags and Styrofoam? What? I followed the sounds until I reached the opening that led to the kitchen. I stood up and put my back against the wall. I sidestepped slowly until my shoulder was a couple of inches away from the opening. I readied my gun. After a few moments, I quickly turned and stepped into the kitchen, readying my gun and…

"Don't shoot!" Craig yelled out.

I blinked a couple of times. There they were, The American Idiots – emphasis on Idiots. They were at the kitchen island, with plastic containers and Styrofoam cups. It smelled like… Thai food? I took in a deep breath, pushed the hammer forwards on my gun, and switched on the safety before I put the gun on the counter. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose for a few moments. I sighed before I looked back at them.

"…Why, are you guys, here?" I demanded in a quiet tone.

"We brought them here," Kitty explained. "We decided to watch a movie."

I turned my head slowly towards Kitty and glared at her. "This place is supposed to be used for emergencies and laying low. If you guys wanted to watch a movie so badly, why didn't you go back to the apartment?"

"We did," Ned said matter-of-factly. "Unfortunately, we had to leave soon after, and for good reason."

I brought my glare towards Ned. "And what reason is that?"

Ned cleared his throat. "Well, you see…"

"We overhead Scott and Joanna having coffee," Betty cut in with a look of embarrassment.

I sneered. I was getting agitated. "Really? You guys came here because Scott and Joanna decided to have a late night cup of Joe?"

"Nah, Carm', you're not hearing us," Craig stated. "We left because we overheard Scott and Joanna having 'coffee'."

It took me a few moments to understand what he was trying to say. Then is slowly sunk in. "Oh." I became a bit warm in the face as I looked down towards the ground. "Oh." I scoffed as I shook my head. I looked at them. "Well, shit."

"Yeah," Peter replied with a nod. "I, um, I got the worst of it." I looked at him in confusion. "Enhanced senses."

I nodded slowly. "So, Scott and Joanna are getting it in. I don't know what to do with this information, so we'll just move past that, okay?"

"No argument here," MJ replied in agreement.

"But we're happy to see you," Betty she said as she walked up to me. "I heard you've been in hiding. How have you been holding up?"

I shrugged. "Other than constantly looking over my shoulder and having to wear hoodies and sunglasses, I've been okay, thanks for asking," I replied. "I only got a couple of more days of this, and this is nothing new to me." I nodded towards her. "How was your night, guys? Before you got here, that is."

"That's a long story," Ned spoke up. "But it's a good story, and one best told over food."

And so we ate. Craig shared his green curry with me as I sat on his lap. As we ate, they talked about their night, all of it – the dancing, this boy Brad's scumbag move of trying to break MJ and Peter up, the pictures they took, the after party, Craig deciding to give Brad a talking to…

"Wait, you talked to Brad?" Kitty said in disbelief.

"Yup," Craig confirmed. "I really wanted to kick his teeth in, but I figured I go the Afterschool Special route."

As I was listening to them, I put on a smile. On the inside, though, I couldn't help but feel envious. Craig had fun without me. I was upset about it and I was angry at myself for feeling that way. I left the X-Men and got myself captured. Any chance of me being Craig's date tonight was lower than zero. And yet the fact that Kitty was able to go out and have fun with him… it bothered me. The feeling only got worse when we gathered around Peter, who showed the pictures they took on the camera using the device's LCD screen. I smiled through it all.

"I'm glad you guys had fun," I commented. I really did mean that. But something in my demeanor caused Craig to look at me from the corner of my eye, I was sure. I stood up from Craig's lap. "Um, give me about 20 minutes before you guys start the movie, okay? I'm going to freshen up and get changed into something more comfortable."

I walked out of the living room and walked up the stairs before I made my way over to the bedroom I was using. I stepped inside. The room was your typical bedroom. It had a bed with all of the beddings. It had a dresser. It had a closet. It had a nightstand. It had a desk with a laptop that was highly encrypted and protected by a custom VPN. I took in a breath as I closed the door behind me. I walked up to the dresser and opened the drawer. I pulled out a black t-shirt and shorts. I took off the shoes I was wearing before I changed clothes and tossed the clothes I changed out of onto the bed. I then just stood there. I closed my eyes and talked to myself.

"I'm not going to be that person," I said to myself. "I'm not going to be that person. I'm not going to be that person. I'm going to be that – "

I heard knocking on the door, which took me out of my thoughts. From behind the door, I heard Craig speak.

"Are you decent?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied as I turned around. The door opened. Craig took a step inside. There was a look of concern on his face. I smiled as I looked him up and down. "You look great."

Craig's expression softened for a bit. "Thanks." Right after that, his expression of concern came back. "Carmilla, are you okay?"

I wanted to lie. I wanted to say I was okay. But Craig knew me too well. He knew how to read me too well. Only Melinda May knew me better. So, I averted my gaze. "I… It's stupid."

"I won't judge you."

"I…" I paused. I shook my head "I'm feeling a bit envious, okay?" I looked at him. "You were out tonight, having fun without me. And I thought I would be okay with that, but I guess I'm not." Craig opened his mouth as he raised his eyebrows. I quickly spoke again. "Don't! Don't apologize, please! I don't want you to think you should feel bad, because you shouldn't, okay? I'm just in my feelings because… I just wish I was with you tonight, making memories with you." I bowed my head. "I'm being stupid, I know."

There was silence. I didn't hear anything from Craig. I was wondering why until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at Craig, who was smiling slightly.

"You're not being stupid," he whispered. "I get it. If I was you and you were me, I'd likely feel the same way." He paused for a moment. "We wanted you to be there. We understand why you couldn't, but we still wish you were there with us tonight." After that, he pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and placed my head against his chest. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment in his arms.

"I'm really sorry," I said. "I'm sorry for bailing out on you and the others and – "

"Hey, none of that," Craig interrupted gently. "Remember, I had just as much in our fallout as you did."

"I mean…" I railed off. "You're right but… I should've trusted you."

"And I should've trusted you." He rubbed his hand up and down my back. "But we're past that. We're here now."

I nodded against his chest. "We are." I took in a breath before I pulled away and looked at him. He smiled at me before he leaned forward and placed a kiss on my forehead. I smiled as I closed my eyes for a moment. I then opened my eyes. "Hey All-American?"

"Yes, Chicken Carmesan?" Craig replied.

"Prom season isn't too far away, is it?"

"No, I don't think it is. Why, what's up?"

"…Well, I'm going to pull a Sadie Hawkins right now." I brought my hands together. "Craig Pierre, Jr., will you do me the honor of being my date for Prom, assuming we don't have to be on some kind of mission or op or the like?"

"You know I will, Carmilla Black." I smiled widely at him. I then laughed when he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up off of the ground. I wrapped my hands around his shoulders and placed a kiss against his lips. He returned it with gusto before he placed me back on my feet. "Now come on. They're about start the movie without us."

"Let's go be geeks," I joked. Craig held his hand out. I took his hand. We shared a smile before he led me out of the room.