I was sound asleep when I heard Oliver come in, or at least pretending to
be. He had disappeared after his bath; I think he went home to get some
more stuff. I heard him drop his bags next to the door, and walk over to
the window seat.
I rolled over to look at him.
"Where have you been?" I asked him; as he leaned down to untie his boots.
"I thought you were asleep." he said smiling, god he was so charming sometimes. It made me want to puke
"Well you see I was, but someone I know, had to make a ton of noise, and wake me up." I said sitting up. I looked at the clock 3 am. "Seriously where have you been?" I asked again
He dropped his jeans and unbuttoned his shirt, leaving him in a wife beater, and boxers.
"Ohh, I get a private show!"
"Cute Amy." He said laughing "I actually went home, brought Ryan with me."
I was shocked "You and Ryan, being civil? Who are you and what have you done with Oliver? Should I feel your forehead, are you feeling sick?"
He walked over and grabbed the pillow from the floor, hitting me in the head with it, as he plopped down on the end of the bed, pushing the pillow between himself and the bedpost.
"After I got out of the Jacuzzi, well actually while I was still in the Jacuzzi he came in to talk to me. I think he was trying to get me in a position where I'd feel vulnerable."
I pulled my knees up to my chest. "And?"
"And well, that fight you to had really took a lot out of him." he said looking at me quizzically "I think it's the first time I've ever seen Ryan feel like an asshole, or guilt about anything for that matter."
"What am I supposed to do?" I said leaning my chin on my knees "Tell me what to do and I'll do it, Your my best friend Oliver, and you're a guy what should I do? Tell me what to do." He leaned his head on the post and looked at the ceiling. "Should I go public, tell everyone about Ryan and I, or should I just leave it alone."
His eyes didn't leave the ceiling "I think if you tell everyone you will break your sister's heart." he said sincerely
He shifted his head to look at me. "Just leave it alone, the balls in his court now, let him figure it out."
"Ok, I'll try your way." I said laying back down. I pulled myself into the fetal position.
I heard him sigh, I started to drift off, listening to him breath, it sounded labored.
"What's wrong?" I asked him
"What do you mean?" he asked
I sat straight up in bed "Oliver your breathing funny, what's wrong?"
"Its nothing Amy go to sleep, I just took at bludger at high speed into my chest." He shifted and I saw him wince
"That's why your sleeping sitting up?" I moved towards him, and he pulled away. "Let me see." I placed my palm on his chest and could feel the broken rib. "Damn Wood, your not invincible. Lay down."
I rubbed my palms together. I'd only done this once to someone else. And that was Emily if I screwed her up for the rest of her life. She'd have to forgive me I'm her sister. I screw Oliver up and I ruin his career.
He lay back on the bed, and I placed one hand on the side of his chest and the other directly on top of the broken rib. I can't even describe what happens when I do this. But it's different when it happens to me then when I do it to someone else.
Myself its instantaneous, when I help someone else, it's an overwhelming sense of, well I don't exactly know what. You feel really happy, and then pain, but then back to happy, all simultaneously.
I felt his breathing even out. "See all better."
"That's amazing Am."
"Go to sleep, that takes a lot out of me."
I laid down and started to fall asleep immediately. When I felt him wrap his arm around me and pull me into his chest for a hug. I went to squirm away, but thought better about it. "Thanks, I love you"
"Yea, yea I love you too, now let me go." He laughed and I rolled back to my own side of the bed
"Amy" someone was whispering in my ear, god that bothered me, like nails down a blackboard. "Amy" I opened my eyes slightly, and saw Ryan's gorgeous green eyes staring into mine. "Get up, I want to show you something."
"What?"
"Get up, I want to show you something. Be quiet I don't want to wake anyone up." He said
I got up and followed him to the door; turning around the make sure Oliver was still asleep. He grabbed my hand and led me to the front door, stopping only to grab a blanket off the back of the couch. Emily and her stupid friends were asleep on the floor.
When we got outside I noticed that the car was already running a the end of the driveway. Walking around to the passenger's side he opened to door for me, motioning for me to get in. He then jogged back around to his side and got in.
We drove for about 20 minutes in complete silence. And uncomfortable silence at that, neither one of us wanted to be the first to break that silence though. After awhile we reached a clearing, Ryan turned off the ignition and leaned into the backseat for the blanket. Two of them actually. He looked at me and smiled before getting out of the car.
'Oh god he's going to kill me and no one is going to find the body' I thought to myself as he walked around the car, and opened the door for me to get out. He motioned for me to go. 'Great, I wonder if he has a cattle prod.' he followed.
"What are we doing out here Ryan, It's 4am, it's pitch black, and I'm freezing." I said rubbing my arms. "You could have at least told me where we were going so I could have dressed appropriately"
He spread the blanket out on the ground and sat down leaning back on the palms of his hands. "Come here" he said motioning towards himself
I didn't budge "Or you can stand there and freeze."
I gave up and sat down next to him. He pulled me between his legs, and I leaned my head back on his chest. He threw the other blanket over us, and wrapped his arms around me.
"Look up" I did as I was told, their wasn't a cloud in the sky. Which made the stars incredibly visible.
"Oh Ryan its beautiful."
"I thought you'd like it, I heard on the news tonight, on the weather report, that it was going to be clear, and the guy said it would be a perfect night for star gazing.
I tilted my head back and kissed him.
"Thank you, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me." I laid my head back down and looked up at the constellations.
"You know I love you," he said so quietly, I wasn't even sure I'd heard him.
I opened my mouth to respond, but was cut off. "Don't say it if you don't mean it Amy." I shut my mouth
"I love you and I need you to know that, you are the best person I have ever known. You were willing to look past all the things you had heard about me."
I looked back at him; he looked like he was about to burst into tears. I felt like the biggest jerk for putting him through this.
"I do care about you, you must understand that."
"But you don't love me. I have come to accept that" he said kissing the top of my head. "If all I can have is your friendship, then that's what I'll take." he leaned his head on my shoulder "at least until you're ready for something more."
I turned to face him, and leaned in for a kiss, He didn't know how to respond, he wrapped his hand into my hair and deepened the kiss, and we stayed like that for a while.
After about 15 minutes I pulled away, and looked into his eyes. He laughed and pulled me back into his lap. "That was not the response I was expecting."
"Thank you for being so understanding, I appreciate that more than you can believe." I leaned back and stared at the stars.
The sun was starting to come up when Ryan finally decided that it was time for us to head home. He'd drop me off and then head home, most likely meet up with me on the train for school.
As he pulled the cover off I realized just how cold it was, it was strange to be that cold in September. So the warmth of the car was very welcome. The ride home seemed to be quicker then the ride there, maybe that was because I slept most of the way home. But never the less, 20 minutes later we pulled up in front of my living establishment, and I got out before Ryan could run around the car to let me out.
I stood in the walkway leading up to the house. 'Damn' how was I going to pull this one off without getting busted.
I rolled over to look at him.
"Where have you been?" I asked him; as he leaned down to untie his boots.
"I thought you were asleep." he said smiling, god he was so charming sometimes. It made me want to puke
"Well you see I was, but someone I know, had to make a ton of noise, and wake me up." I said sitting up. I looked at the clock 3 am. "Seriously where have you been?" I asked again
He dropped his jeans and unbuttoned his shirt, leaving him in a wife beater, and boxers.
"Ohh, I get a private show!"
"Cute Amy." He said laughing "I actually went home, brought Ryan with me."
I was shocked "You and Ryan, being civil? Who are you and what have you done with Oliver? Should I feel your forehead, are you feeling sick?"
He walked over and grabbed the pillow from the floor, hitting me in the head with it, as he plopped down on the end of the bed, pushing the pillow between himself and the bedpost.
"After I got out of the Jacuzzi, well actually while I was still in the Jacuzzi he came in to talk to me. I think he was trying to get me in a position where I'd feel vulnerable."
I pulled my knees up to my chest. "And?"
"And well, that fight you to had really took a lot out of him." he said looking at me quizzically "I think it's the first time I've ever seen Ryan feel like an asshole, or guilt about anything for that matter."
"What am I supposed to do?" I said leaning my chin on my knees "Tell me what to do and I'll do it, Your my best friend Oliver, and you're a guy what should I do? Tell me what to do." He leaned his head on the post and looked at the ceiling. "Should I go public, tell everyone about Ryan and I, or should I just leave it alone."
His eyes didn't leave the ceiling "I think if you tell everyone you will break your sister's heart." he said sincerely
He shifted his head to look at me. "Just leave it alone, the balls in his court now, let him figure it out."
"Ok, I'll try your way." I said laying back down. I pulled myself into the fetal position.
I heard him sigh, I started to drift off, listening to him breath, it sounded labored.
"What's wrong?" I asked him
"What do you mean?" he asked
I sat straight up in bed "Oliver your breathing funny, what's wrong?"
"Its nothing Amy go to sleep, I just took at bludger at high speed into my chest." He shifted and I saw him wince
"That's why your sleeping sitting up?" I moved towards him, and he pulled away. "Let me see." I placed my palm on his chest and could feel the broken rib. "Damn Wood, your not invincible. Lay down."
I rubbed my palms together. I'd only done this once to someone else. And that was Emily if I screwed her up for the rest of her life. She'd have to forgive me I'm her sister. I screw Oliver up and I ruin his career.
He lay back on the bed, and I placed one hand on the side of his chest and the other directly on top of the broken rib. I can't even describe what happens when I do this. But it's different when it happens to me then when I do it to someone else.
Myself its instantaneous, when I help someone else, it's an overwhelming sense of, well I don't exactly know what. You feel really happy, and then pain, but then back to happy, all simultaneously.
I felt his breathing even out. "See all better."
"That's amazing Am."
"Go to sleep, that takes a lot out of me."
I laid down and started to fall asleep immediately. When I felt him wrap his arm around me and pull me into his chest for a hug. I went to squirm away, but thought better about it. "Thanks, I love you"
"Yea, yea I love you too, now let me go." He laughed and I rolled back to my own side of the bed
"Amy" someone was whispering in my ear, god that bothered me, like nails down a blackboard. "Amy" I opened my eyes slightly, and saw Ryan's gorgeous green eyes staring into mine. "Get up, I want to show you something."
"What?"
"Get up, I want to show you something. Be quiet I don't want to wake anyone up." He said
I got up and followed him to the door; turning around the make sure Oliver was still asleep. He grabbed my hand and led me to the front door, stopping only to grab a blanket off the back of the couch. Emily and her stupid friends were asleep on the floor.
When we got outside I noticed that the car was already running a the end of the driveway. Walking around to the passenger's side he opened to door for me, motioning for me to get in. He then jogged back around to his side and got in.
We drove for about 20 minutes in complete silence. And uncomfortable silence at that, neither one of us wanted to be the first to break that silence though. After awhile we reached a clearing, Ryan turned off the ignition and leaned into the backseat for the blanket. Two of them actually. He looked at me and smiled before getting out of the car.
'Oh god he's going to kill me and no one is going to find the body' I thought to myself as he walked around the car, and opened the door for me to get out. He motioned for me to go. 'Great, I wonder if he has a cattle prod.' he followed.
"What are we doing out here Ryan, It's 4am, it's pitch black, and I'm freezing." I said rubbing my arms. "You could have at least told me where we were going so I could have dressed appropriately"
He spread the blanket out on the ground and sat down leaning back on the palms of his hands. "Come here" he said motioning towards himself
I didn't budge "Or you can stand there and freeze."
I gave up and sat down next to him. He pulled me between his legs, and I leaned my head back on his chest. He threw the other blanket over us, and wrapped his arms around me.
"Look up" I did as I was told, their wasn't a cloud in the sky. Which made the stars incredibly visible.
"Oh Ryan its beautiful."
"I thought you'd like it, I heard on the news tonight, on the weather report, that it was going to be clear, and the guy said it would be a perfect night for star gazing.
I tilted my head back and kissed him.
"Thank you, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me." I laid my head back down and looked up at the constellations.
"You know I love you," he said so quietly, I wasn't even sure I'd heard him.
I opened my mouth to respond, but was cut off. "Don't say it if you don't mean it Amy." I shut my mouth
"I love you and I need you to know that, you are the best person I have ever known. You were willing to look past all the things you had heard about me."
I looked back at him; he looked like he was about to burst into tears. I felt like the biggest jerk for putting him through this.
"I do care about you, you must understand that."
"But you don't love me. I have come to accept that" he said kissing the top of my head. "If all I can have is your friendship, then that's what I'll take." he leaned his head on my shoulder "at least until you're ready for something more."
I turned to face him, and leaned in for a kiss, He didn't know how to respond, he wrapped his hand into my hair and deepened the kiss, and we stayed like that for a while.
After about 15 minutes I pulled away, and looked into his eyes. He laughed and pulled me back into his lap. "That was not the response I was expecting."
"Thank you for being so understanding, I appreciate that more than you can believe." I leaned back and stared at the stars.
The sun was starting to come up when Ryan finally decided that it was time for us to head home. He'd drop me off and then head home, most likely meet up with me on the train for school.
As he pulled the cover off I realized just how cold it was, it was strange to be that cold in September. So the warmth of the car was very welcome. The ride home seemed to be quicker then the ride there, maybe that was because I slept most of the way home. But never the less, 20 minutes later we pulled up in front of my living establishment, and I got out before Ryan could run around the car to let me out.
I stood in the walkway leading up to the house. 'Damn' how was I going to pull this one off without getting busted.