Disclaimer: I own nothing!

"Watch Me While I Bloom" by Hayley Williams
Wanna look inside of me
And just watch me bloom
You only got one side of me
Here's something new, ah
I'm alive in spite of me
And I'm on the move
So come and look inside of me
Watch me while I bloom, ah

If you feel like you're never gonna reach the sky
'Til you pull up your roots, leave your dirt behind
Baby you got a lot of shit to learn

RPOV

"What are you adding now?" I ask as I swing my legs back and forth while sitting on the island in Nahuel's kitchen.

I was helping him make dinner, but he shooed me away when I boiled over the water for the rice… How was I supposed to know that simmering meant turning the heat down on the burner? Nahuel had to start the rice over because half of it boiled over, and the other half was burned and caked onto the pot.

I'm content just watching him cook, anyway. Nahuel is totally in his element in the kitchen. He's making chicken tikka masala, and it smells heavenly.

He turns and glares at me playfully. "I think you need to back away even further from the stove. Just your presence alone is going to burn the food."

I roll my eyes. "I warned you I can't cook!"

He laughs. "I've been trying to teach you for a month now! It's honestly not that difficult; you just follow the instructions."

"It's definitely not that simple." I gripe, frowning.

He rolls his eyes and continues stirring the chicken mixture in the large pan. "I just added heavy cream, so it needs to simmer for a few more minutes, but here," he grabs a clean spoon and dunks it into the pot. He hands the spoon to me, and I greedily pop it into my mouth.

All of Nahuel's cooking is to die for, and this chicken tikka stuff is no different. I've tried so many different dishes over the past month, it's crazy. My clothes have been feeling pretty snug from all the food. I guess that's what happens when you actually eat three meals a day instead of waiting until you're starving to eat anything at all. When I get home, my Aunt Alice will be happy to have an excuse to shop for me.

"Holy shit, this is incredible." I say after swallowing. "No surprise there." I hop off the counter and grab some plates out of the cabinet.

"My aunt told me that my mom was in charge of preparing food for their tribe. Supposedly, her cooking was also incredible."

"Really?" I smile.

"Yeah," he says cheerfully. "I like to think that's at least one trait I inherited from her."

"I think you inherited quite a bit more from her than just that." He shrugs and continues stirring. "Really, Nahuel, it's like you don't see yourself clearly at all."

He cocks his head to the side while smirking at me. "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, Nessie."

I roll my eyes. "You suck."

"Not since I started learning to cook," he winks then snaps his teeth at me playfully. I laugh at his terrible joke.

I set three plates on the dining room table then walk back into the kitchen to get some silverware. Nahuel is fluffing the rice he had to re-cook as I go back to put the forks on the table.

Nahuel's half-sister, Maysun, her partner, Leo, and their baby, Willow, are on their way over. They're going to stay here with Nahuel and Hulien for the weekend. I moved my stuff into the living room to crash on the couch so they can have the guest bedroom.

Only three of us will be eating – Nahuel, Maysun, and me – since Hulien and Leo are full vampires and Willow's diet consists of only blood too. Nahuel warned me yesterday about Willow's diet so I could be prepared.

Nahuel also filled me in more on his relationships with his half-siblings. His oldest half-sister, Serena, was born first. She is unfalteringly loyal to Joham, Nahuel's father. Nahuel doesn't have much communication with Serena because of her loyalties. Maysun, the second born sibling, has been estranged from Joham for years now which is why Nahuel has a closer relationship to her. Nahuel was born after Maysun, and his youngest half-sister, Jennifer, was born after him. Jennifer was primarily raised by Serena, so Nahuel believes Jennifer is also unconditionally devoted to Joham, but he's never met her.

When I walk back into the kitchen, Nahuel looks at me, his eyes soft. "Are you feeling okay about meeting my sister and her family?"

I shrug noncommittally, avert my gaze, and try to hide my anxiety. "Yeah, of course. It'll be fine."

"Hey," Nahuel reaches for my hand and squeezes it. I look up at him. "No lies."

I give him a tight smile. "No lies."

Saying, "no lies" when we think the other person is holding back their feelings has become our thing since playing that game of questions where neither of us could dodge the answer.

"Fine," I sigh, conceding. "I am feeling a little nervous."

I drop his hand and nervously reach for a cup in the cabinet behind him. I need to fidget because the conversation is feeling a little too intense already. I walk to the sink and fill up the cup before taking a long sip.

"You get squeamish every time my sister's family is brought up." I shrug and take another gulp of water. "You know you don't have to explain, but if you want to, I'm here."

"Thanks," I give him a small smile. "I just can't open up that can of worms right now. Once it opens, I'm afraid I won't be able to get the lid back on."

"I get it," he nods. "Just know that you can excuse yourself at any point tonight if you need to."

I bump his shoulder lightheartedly. "God, aren't you sick of me yet? It must get exhausting having a train wreck for a friend."

He turns back to the stove. "Once I get a train wrecked friend, I'll let you know."

I laugh. "Thanks."

Nahuel and I have become pretty close over the last month. Words can't even begin to describe how it feels to fit in with someone. My entire life, I've felt in the middle of the vampire world, werewolf world, and human world.

With humans, of course I have to be cautious and not let my vampire side show. With my werewolf family, I also try hard not to let my vampire part out to avoid them being weird with me. And with my vampire family, I feel like they don't fully understand I still have human needs, too.

But with Nahuel, I'm just Nessie, and that's enough. I don't have to worry about watching what I say or do. I don't have to pretend in anyway because we are the same.

Something clicks inside me after my last thought – why am I trying to be different versions of myself depending on who I'm around? I hadn't even realized that's what I was doing until now. I'm the one who's put myself in the middle because I'm afraid of being judged for who I really am…

Of course, I have to still hide that I'm half vampire from the human world, but I decide, in this moment, that I will no longer pretend around my families. I am just going to be Nessie with them, too, and if that bothers them… Well, that says more about them than it does me, right?

Is this part of what Senna knew I would learn by being here with Nahuel? Probably. Senna is, easily, the most gifted vampire I've ever encountered. I mean, think about it – you can be the most powerful vampire in the world, but if your emotions aren't in-check, you won't be able to adequately utilize your powers.

Nahuel finishes preparing dinner, and I help him place everything on the table. Hulien gets home, presumably from just having her own dinner, and sits down at the table with us. It's funny how civilized Nahuel and Hulien are; they, actually, remind me a lot of my vampire family because of how human they tend to act.

I've been thinking about my vampire family a lot more the past week. I miss them all. I miss listening to my dad play the piano. I miss talking about books with my mom. I miss my Aunt Rose braiding my hair. I miss my Grandma Esme's hugs. I miss training with my uncles.

I miss my werewolf family, too. I miss Seth's kindheartedness. I miss Quil's jokes. I miss telling Paul to shove it when he says something stupid. I miss Leah's no-nonsense confidence. I miss Emily's maternal presence.

And Jacob… God, I miss everything about him. I miss our banter. I miss his wit. I miss sitting in his garage at his dad's. I miss walking with him on the beach. I miss him knowing what I'm thinking with just a glance. I miss his body being tangled in my own – the hardness of him pressing into the softness of me. Every cell in my body aches for him.

I've been away from home for almost three months now.

Part of me is ready to go home, but there's something lingering that stops me every time I entertain the idea. I'm just not entirely sure what's stopping me.

There's a knock on the door that Hulien races to answer. Maysun, Leo, and Willow are ushered inside. They place their things in the guest room then saunter over to the dining room where Nahuel introduces all of us.

We get situated at the table then Nahuel, Maysun, and I all fill our plates with food before digging in. Nahuel is holding a giggling Willow in his lap; he keeps bouncing his knee in between taking bites of his food to keep her giggling.

"She adores you," Maysun says to Nahuel, admiring how good he is with his niece. I wasn't sure what to expect from Willow with her being three fourths vampire and only a fourth human. I worried she would be like the immortal children I've heard horror stories about, but she's not. Her development appears to be like that of a hybrid. She's only two months old, but she already seems like a two-year-old and, cognitively, she's advanced far beyond that.

"I suppose I adore her, too," Nahuel responds to his sister before planting a kiss on Willow's head. Willow wiggles in his arms as she turns to stand up on his lap. She kisses Nahuel's check and smiles at him. Everyone coos at the cuteness.

Everyone except me, that is.

My heart aches.

I take a deep breath and push the feelings aside. I focus on eating. I focus on the textures and taste of the food, practicing the mindfulness I learned from Senna.

"Okay, my turn," Hulien says as she opens her arms and scoots back in her chair. Willow jumps across the table and lands in Hulien's lap. Hulien laughs and snuggles Willow against her chest.

"As far as babies go, Willow's the best." Leo comments adoringly as he watches his daughter.

"She really is, huh?" Maysun looks up at Leo. Leo turns to her, smiles, and sweetly kisses her.

I have to look away; it's almost too much to watch. Leo and Maysun have the life I desperately wanted with Jacob. They have everything. Everything I can't have. Everything I can't give to Jake. Everything my heart desperately desires but can't have.

I'm starting to lose myself. I reach for my water glass and take a long gulp. I focus on my breath. I dig my fingernails into my leg under the table, trying to ground myself, trying to stay present, trying not to cause a scene by fleeing out of here.

Nahuel glances at me, and I meet his gaze for a brief moment. He squeezes my knee under the table. He must see that I'm about to drown, so he abruptly changes the subject. "So, have you heard from dear old dad lately?" He asks Maysun sarcastically.

Willow jumps from Hulien's lap back into her father's. "Nope. Although, I did talk to Serena a few days ago," Maysun responds, referring to her oldest half-sister.

"Oh yeah?" Nahuel responds before scooping up a piece of chicken on his plate.

"Mhmm. Apparently, she's helping Joham in his latest quest for almighty power," Maysun rolls her eyes. "They're trying to locate a sword of some sort. A random vampire that used to be part of the Volturi's guard told Joham about it. Apparently, the sword can kill a vampire as soon as it pierces their skin. Joham thinks hybrids will be immune to it."

"More experimenting, I take it?" Nahuel asks.

"I guess," Maysun responds before popping a spoonful of rice into her mouth.

"I highly doubt any type of sword could pierce a vampire or hybrid's skin." Hulien comments.

"That's what I thought, but this sword is different, according to Serena," Maysun explains. "It's made from the bones and teeth of the Children of the Moon's Alpha. One of the Volturi had it made ages ago upon exterminating them all."

This conversation is definitely the distraction I needed. "The Volturi don't have the sword anymore?" I question.

Leo answers this time, "Serena said it's been missing for decades. Supposedly, the sword's been cursed to flock to the most powerful vampire in existence."

"So," Maysun continues. "Of course, that's why Joham wants it. And that means Serena is helping him locate it."

I blink, trying to make sense of this bizarre information. The Volturi had a sword made from the Children of the Moon's Alpha, and this sword was bewitched to belong to whoever's deemed the most powerful vampire in existence? And, because the sword is made of the teeth and bones from a Child of the Moon, it can kill a vampire instantly once it penetrates their skin? But Joham thinks the sword won't work on hybrids…

What the actual fuck?

I laugh because it all sounds so absurd. "And just where do they think they're going to find this mystical sword?" I ask.

"Who knows," Maysun replies. "It all sounds completely asinine to me. Serena said the sword is engraved. One side of the sword says, 'wield with humility,' and the other side says, 'nullify with your life.'"

"Bizarre," Nahuel shakes his head. "Why did Serena tell you about all this, anyway?"

"She wanted Leo and me to assist her."

"What!" Nahuel yells then bangs his fist on the table. Willow jumps and turns her little head to stare at her uncle with wide eyes. Leo snuggles Willow soothingly.

"Nahuel," Hulien says in warning while glancing at Willow.

"Chill, little brother," Maysun chuckles once. "Of course, I told her no and not to ask me about it again. I'm not sure why she would need our assistance anyway. She's perfectly capable of finding this magical sword on her own."

Nahuel sighs in relief before reaching across the table to lightly stroke Willow's cheek. "Sorry I scared you." She smiles at him.

"Is she a tracker or something?" I ask.

"No," Nahuel answers. "She can teleport."

I stare at him. "What?"

"She can go from one area to another instantly. There are some limitations to it, though. She can't teleport across huge distances, and she can't teleport directly into buildings or residences – only open spaces, basically."

"So, she's perfectly capable of searching for the damn sword by herself." Leo concludes.

"And I'm sure Jennifer's helping, too," Maysun says, referring to her youngest half-sister.

"What a fun little family we have, huh?" Nahuel comments sarcastically.

"Oh, the absolute best," Maysun retorts, matching her brother's sarcastic tone.

We all finish eating, and I help Nahuel clean everything up. When we come back into the dining room, Willow yawns before climbing over into Maysun's lap. Maysun kisses and cradles the baby into her and gently begins to rock her. Leo slings his arm around Maysun's shoulders and kisses her head. Willow sighs before closing her eyes and snuggling further into her mother's warmth.

It's nearly impossible for me to stay present at the sight of them…

My chest starts to feel tight, and my heart is pounding in my ears. My palms are sweaty, and I feel like I can't catch my breath.

I try my grounding techniques, but they're just not cutting it. I can't focus on my breathing because my chest feels like it's closing in.

Fuck, I'm starting to panic.

I haven't felt this way in a long time.

I need to get out of here.

I need to get ahold of myself.

I quickly touch Nahuel's hand to communicate with him. I show him a little of my panic before saying, I'm sorry. I have to get some air. I'll be back in a little bit.

I tell everyone I'm going for a walk then I bolt out of the house.

I feel a little guilty, not hanging out with everyone. Hopefully they don't think I'm being rude. Eh, fuck what anyone else thinks. I have to do what I need for me, right? And what I need right now is to run.

So, that's what I do – I run and run and run and focus only on the wind whipping through my hair, the trees flying past me, and the feel of my feet against the forest floor.

Before I even know where I'm going, I end up at the tree Nahuel and I always climb. I find the familiar branches and swing myself up. I climb and climb until I'm near the top. I sit on a sturdy branch and stare off into the distance.

Then I let myself scream.

I scream and scream and scream and scream.

I scream until tears are streaming down my face.

I scream until my voice turns raw.

I scream until I feel some of the inner demons leave.

Then I slump against the tree trunk and angrily cry.

That's when I realize what's still stopping me from going home.

It's this pain.

But I thought I was healing, I thought I was doing better…

I finally started to forgive and love myself again. I opened up to Senna. I started letting Nahuel in. I started accepting who I am, mistakes and all…

So, how do I move through this? How do I move forward? How do I let myself even think of what caused this pain? I've only been able to once with Senna…

What do I need!?

Jacob, a small voice inside me answers.

It's Jacob.

Of course, it's Jacob.

I know Jacob has the same agony, and it used to be overwhelming to think about both of us feeling this same way. I couldn't handle the mutual anguish before.

But I know how to manage my grief now, thanks to Senna. I was constantly drowning before, but now the grief only creeps up occasionally. The idea of Jacob hurting, too, isn't as overwhelming as it once was.

This pain is so wrapped up in him, too, that of course I need him to continue moving forward.

We need each other to heal.

That's what Senna identified, right? She said I needed to let go of my shame and feel confident in who I am. I've done that here with Nahuel. The next step is facing the music and going home to heal things with Jake.

Okay, that's it.

I'm going home.

I wipe my eyes. I'm ready. I know I am. I'm so much stronger and confident in who I am now.

Tomorrow I'll tell Nahuel I'm leaving and –

I'm brought back to reality by the sound of my phone ringing. Who would have thought I'd have a signal out here? I reach into my pocket and pull my phone out.

It's my mom. I ignore the call and set my phone down on the branch. I'll call her back in a little bit. I use the sleeve of my shirt to wipe my eyes and nose.

My phone chirps again. A message from my mom pops up: Honey, I need you to call me or your dad right away. I don't want to worry you, but it's urgent.

My phone rings, and it's my mom again. I sniff and clear my throat before answering. "Hi, mama."

"Renesmee?" Her voice is panicked. "Oh, honey, are you alright?"

The tone of her voice puts me on high alert. "I'm fine. What's wrong?"

"Where are you?" She demands.

"I'm still with Nahuel and Hulien, just outside Chile. Why?"

I hear her exhale, like she's relieved. "Sweetie, you need to come home. I know you may not want to yet, but…" Her voice cracks, like she's trying not to cry. I didn't even know a vampire's voice could crack.

Now, I'm really freaking out. Something is wrong. Really, really wrong. "Mom, what is it? Where's dad? Is he okay?"

"Your dad is fine. Oh, honey…" she trails off again for a second. "There was a fight this morning. I think your dad told you about the nomad vampires that were in the area recently?"

A panic I didn't even know was possible floods through me. My blood runs cold. I'm instantly nauseous. My heart is pounding so loudly, I can barely hear anything else. I suck in a breath before yelling into the phone, "Where's Jacob!? Is he okay!?"

"Jacob's fine!" My mom answers quickly. "Physically, at least. He –"

I cut her off. "What does that mean? Where is he? Just tell me what's going on, mama, please!" I yell desperately.

"Renesmee, honey… Brady died in a fight with the nomad vampires early this morning. No one else is significantly injured. But Jacob's not okay emotionally, honey. He's… Well, he's just not okay. I've never seen him like this before."

For a moment, I'm in shock, and the only thought I have is, no...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Then my nervous system kicks into high gear.

Brady's gone.

Jacob needs me.

There's absolutely no way he's okay right now.

I have to get home as soon as possible.

"I'm coming home right now." I say quickly. I stand up and jump out of the tree. What's faster? Running toward the airport or running into town to get a taxi? I'll just have Nahuel mail my stuff home… Shit. No, that won't work. I have to go back to Nahuel's house because I don't have my wallet or passport.

"There's more, honey," my mom says once I land on the ground. "We don't think you should travel alone… It's a long story, but some threats were made against you. Your dad and uncles want to come get you."

I roll my eyes. "No. I won't get back for days if I wait for them, mom. I'm going straight to the airport after I get my wallet and passport."

"No," I hear my dad growl in the background.

I take off running back toward Nahuel's house at lightning speed. "I'll be home as soon as I can." Then I end the call, not wanting to waste time discussing my travel plans with my overprotective father.

While I run, I dial Jacob's number. It rings and rings before going to voicemail. I try two more times then resort to sending him a text message when he doesn't answer: I'm coming home, Jake. I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm so sorry. I love you.

Then I shove my phone into my pocket and run as fast as I can.